if women value looks more than men(according to this sub) why are older male yoounger female couples much more common than the reverse?

DTOLF · 2022-06-30T14:12:49+00:00

Women value looks just as much as men, if not more than men, when it comes to casual sex. But when it’s about LTRs, women will settle for less attractive men if they are skilled, wealthy and more likely to be faithful. Men on the other hand still value looks in their LTRs.

The only women who date younger attractive guys, are old rich woman who don’t give a shit about stability and don’t plan to get more children. But these guys are more likely to be long term boy toys, rather than respected partners.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-06-30T15:54:46+00:00

I'm going to say something really controversial here. People want to be attracted to their partners.

rivetcitymayor · 2022-06-30T14:00:48+00:00

One thing I realize is that the female users always notice couples where the woman is more attractive and male users notice the opposite . It’s probably 50/50 in real life

pearllovespink · 2022-06-30T15:51:58+00:00

Women marry men for stability, not for looks. I’ve repeated this multiple times on here and y’all are still running with this false narrative.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-06-30T14:32:33+00:00

both genders value looks, most everyone would like to be with someone they are attracted to. from there, individuals hold different values on attraction and have a broad range of what “attractive” entails.

for a long time i didn’t consider dating men younger than me as an option and preferred older partners. maybe i’m alone in that, and i can’t say why i felt that way, but it just felt that the man was supposed to be older or at least same age as me.

at this stage in my life, i’m dating a slightly younger man and i know several relationships where the woman is older and the man is younger- this dynamic is actually pretty popular in my social circle more than the opposite.

i don’t think a lot of men really care much about younger or older so long as there’s a physical attraction and the fertility/kids thing isn’t an issue (ie either the couple is child free or the woman is still young enough to conceive on a timeline that they both agree on.)

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-06-30T14:33:58+00:00

Men don’t even look like men on average until their late 20’s to mid 30’s, that’s probably why.

I’m 26 and My beard is still thin and patchy. Obviously some men look way more masculine at younger ages, and I think that’s reflected in dating as well.

OvalTownship · 2022-06-30T18:05:39+00:00

Because the females on this sub are trying to make you forget the redpill and blackpill stuff because it's too close to the truth and because they don't want you to succeed, they just want their orbiters and simps and stream of free attention dinners and simps being emotional tampons lmao

801735 · 2022-06-30T14:21:40+00:00

obviously someone in the 18-30 range on average is more likely to be look attractive than anyone older

There, fixed that for you.

Rushbyb · 2022-06-30T17:03:37+00:00

biological clock in females to be able to have a family is a lot shorter then a mans ability.

Machinecrash · 2022-06-30T14:08:34+00:00

Those old men have money most of the time and they go for girls with daddy issues that want validation from a father figure.

throw-away-518 · 2022-06-30T15:22:10+00:00

Guys definitely value looks as much as women and maybe even more than women. My bf of over a year dumped me recently BECAUSE my looks weren’t enough for him. That’s pretty much the only reason why he ended it. My lack of looks.

RearwindowPinecone · 2022-06-30T14:47:06+00:00

No,marriage with big age gap(>10) is minority(8%),so most couples are around same age,and in these older male younger female marriage,i suppose most of them are sugar marriage or "green card ticket" marriage

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220317-age-gaps-the-relationship-taboo-that-wont-die

to add:i dont know how OP claims he sees a lot of older male younger female couples,but if i take a walk at Beverly hills,i can claim most couples are billionaires🤣

wtknight · 2022-06-30T14:19:01+00:00

Men value looks more as a quality, but their bar is less high in looks than a woman’s bar. The men who complain are the men who don’t meet the looks bar of the women whom they are attracted to.

in real life i see many average guys with average and even pretty women, and even ugly guys with younger and prettier women, the reverse almost never happens.

This is statistically impossible unless one believes that women are on average more attractive than men, which would explain why women are with less attractive men in the monogamous paradigm - only because they need to be if the only alternatives are either being used for sex by attractive men or being alone.

WrongdoerRealistic49 · 2022-06-30T14:37:34+00:00

Money is the answer to this

ruboyuri · 2022-06-30T16:26:55+00:00

Because relationships are transactional, and people want different things from this particular transaction

lord_of_memezz · 2022-06-30T16:50:29+00:00

They value maturity, feeling safe, and money more...

ladytron- · 2022-06-30T17:02:53+00:00

as a woman, men my own age at every step haven’t been it. you need to go older to get the same (or at least similar) maturity level.

h1shman · 2022-06-30T14:51:42+00:00

I look better at 28 than I did a 18-22. If you stay in shape many men mature into better looking guys. This is almost always untrue for women as they age faster and the same things like wrinkles that make a man look more distinguished just make women look worse. This is coming from a guy who very much like cougars/milfs so it’s not a dig but more referring to the collagen differences in skin.

If we are talking LTR here women also value a man ambition and wealth. Old men typically have more wealth if they are ambitious.

Hoopy223 · 2022-06-30T14:15:20+00:00

I thought the argument was that a “hot guy” had to be several magnitudes higher up than a “hot girl” in order to be “hot”. The whole Okcupid study where only 15-20% of men were seen as attractive whereas guys liked 40-50% of women. Or something.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-30T17:30:33+00:00

Cause older men are hot.

Pilling_it · 2022-06-30T15:45:57+00:00

Because women don't care as much as men for youth and beauty when it comes to ltr.

athlete2biz · 2022-06-30T14:37:43+00:00

men take way longer to fully grow and to fill out their bodies physically. Im 6'5 and I didnt stop growing in height until I was like 23. then it takes years to build any muscle and have a good physique.

most men can outcompete their 18 year old selves when they are 30 if they stay in good physical shape

then you factor in maturity, money and lifestyle etc.

Mothra3 · 2022-06-30T17:47:49+00:00

I assume a lot of men would rather die alone than even ever think about compromising on looks, but I am an ugly old lonely pessimist lady. Also, I think society really pushes this story to men about being validated by having a beautiful lady partner, so if they compromise, it is a blow to the ego. Women compromise from day one so we are used to it.

catniagara · 2022-06-30T14:47:03+00:00

I don’t know how obvious the first statement. It seems (and has definitely Bourne out in my life) that men value beauty over age.

I mean Nicole Kidman is what? 55? And she’s still more beautiful than 99% of the teens and 20s on social. I just don’t agree that age is a factor.

Like yea the film and modelling industries have a pedophile problem but it isn’t typical for the average people you meet daily (outside of a prison) to be like that.

I get hit on more by younger guys than men my own age. When I try to hit on men my age, they will pat me on the head (at least twice literally) and say they remember being young and having a crush.

I think there’s heavy stigma for women around dating younger men. When a guy dies it he’s seen as “saving” the girl especially if she’s broke or abused or something. But when I dated a guy younger than me people were BRUTAL, screamed at me called me a pedo or something, literally made threats.

Like literally he was 20 and I was 28. I was destroying his happiness and ruining his life and probably casting evil love spells WIiiiiiiiittttccchhhhh!!! Same thing when I was 35 and went out with a guy who was 25, his 32 year old ex literally called me a pedophile. Like what? Dude has a job, a car, and a condo….

So yeah

TL;DR men who date younger women are celebrated as studs; women who date younger men are viewed as pathetic and desperate.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-06-30T16:08:32+00:00

Because obviously men value looks more. Women just value looks also to a degree, which makes men mad and start yelling about women being shallow. That’s really what it comes down to.

unkle_Rico1 · 2022-06-30T16:08:53+00:00

Us older guys usually have more T for whatever reason.

trilobright · 2022-06-30T18:31:08+00:00

Are people actually claiming that women care more about looks than men? I'd say women value appearance in a potential boyfriend more than was once assumed, especially in online dating, but I think most people agree that it's more of a factor with men. Most hetero dating apps are at least 75% males, possibly even higher, and so a woman needs a way to quickly filter out what she doesn't want. And when you're just looking at someone's profile, looks are the easiest factor to use, along with well-known red flags like wraparound sunglasses, fedoras, or profile pics holding a fish.

dbz19_kai · 2022-07-02T09:57:14+00:00

Women just most of the time don’t want relationships with younger guys. They don’t want to “carry” the guy whereas men have no problem “carrying” the woman.

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vogel777 · 2022-06-30T14:46:32+00:00

So I’ve said this before on here but my experience is the opposite. I can think of at least 6 long term relationships where the woman is between 8 and 18 years older than her husband but literally none where the woman is that much younger than the man. I know a few where the guy is three years older than his wife but that’s practically the same age. If I really rack my brains, my Dad’s cousin is married to a guy 5 years older than her but he was a Pop star when she married him so he had extra allure I guess.

Most people seem to be with people roughly the same age 1 or 2 years either way, that’s the norm.

My husband is 18 months older than me the age difference has always been unnoticeable. When I was single I was uninterested in men more than a couple of years older than me.

As an older woman myself now, if I were to ever be single again and wanting a partner I would still date around my own age not because I don’t think younger men are more attractive or hotter (they usually are) but because I’d prefer a relationship with someone at the same life stage as me, the same experiences, cultural touch points, someone hopefully more emotionally mature. While it might be possible to enjoy younger men for sex I’m just not the sort of person who can engage in casual sex.

sarkington · 2022-06-30T14:50:44+00:00

Looks =/= neoteny

Even for men

goatismycopilot · 2022-06-30T15:00:54+00:00

Older men with money can buy very attractive wives and GFs and having a young and attractive companion or fuckbuddy is very important to them so they make it a priority. They want young meat. They don't want old women who are fat or whatever.

Older women with money probably are interested in younger men but they seem to be bothered more by the idea that somebody is with them because of money than men are. Men tend to see women as a series of desirable body parts so I think they are more overtly transactional and more overtly comfortable.

Lumpy_Code_4267 · 2022-06-30T15:56:42+00:00

1000%%

daddysgotanew · 2022-06-30T16:22:04+00:00

Women like men who look masculine. A lot of younger dudes still look like boys

SmakeTalk · 2022-06-30T17:45:52+00:00

Men seem to find more women broadly attractive, but also see the women they aren't attracted to as unattractive based solely on their appearance. No level of emotional or mental connection seems able to change that for many of us.

Women, in my experience, have often been raised to see past a man's appearance to see his other traits and become attracted to them. While they may see a lower % of men as "classically handsome" it doesn't mean they can't become attracted to other men so they may be open to a larger % of men as options.

I know a lot of women who are with men they don't overly see as classically handsome but fall in love with them still because other aspects of them will become very attractive as they grow attached.

Men often seem to find that harder, or don't accept as easily that it can happen to them.

This of course doesn't apply to shallow or superficial people, regardless of gender or sex. It also changes a lot as we move through life - I used to be much more superficial, along with many other men and women, because I was more interested in what my partner's appearance said about me publicly than how attracted I was to them physically, emotionally, and mentally.

WarezMyDinrBitc · 2022-06-30T18:04:05+00:00

Because women value resources and security (at least when choosing a partner to settle down with,) while men value youth, beauty, and fertility.

IrrungenWirrungen · 2022-06-30T18:14:31+00:00

Money

WillHungry4307 · 2022-06-30T19:11:20+00:00

Because women value money, maturity and stability more than men.

Is this some type of "gotcha" moment attempt?

Drougen · 2022-06-30T21:01:06+00:00

Older men tend to be established in life / able to support them and less likely to already have kids.

RussianFairytale · 2022-06-30T21:43:41+00:00

Social brainwashing for generations

PrinceBagratoni · 2022-06-30T21:46:53+00:00

Most women are incredibly put off by feeling more dominant than the men they get with. Women see men much younger than them as betas, and their preferences generally skew more masculine as they age.

321gumby · 2022-06-30T22:07:34+00:00

Men look better older....

bigdaveyl · 2022-06-30T22:12:46+00:00

There's a couple of things.

The variance in what women consider physically attractive is narrower then men.

Other variables come into play with women such as money.

NeighborhoodVeteran · 2022-06-30T22:47:57+00:00

Women who choose to date younger men seem to face a disproportionate amount of judgement. “Us humans are judgemental, and if what our neighbour is doing is misaligned with what we expect, we put a spotlight on it,” says Lordan. “Women who match with younger men go most against the grain when it comes to our narrative of marriage, and so suffer the most judgement.”

HazyMemory7 · 2022-06-30T23:11:13+00:00

Money and status

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-06-30T23:23:08+00:00

Think it's pretty common to say both men , and woman enjoy a partner that's good looking. Also think demographics matter too. What's available in your particular area. Think this is why individuals in cities have such a hard time getting , or maintaining relationships. The reverse is true why you see extremely good looking women with not so good guys in rural areas. In my social bubble people seem to date relatively within age of each other.

kokorwqac · 2022-06-30T23:28:59+00:00

The sexes are different.

An Apex male is not a 21 year old boy with little life experience.

ChrysippusOfSoli · 2022-07-01T00:09:49+00:00

There isn't a conflict here. Older men are more attractive than younger, while the reverse is true for women. Your preference for "pretty men" is not at all the norm, and you know this.

daproest1 · 2022-07-01T00:45:20+00:00

Women don’t value looks more than men. Idk why ppl are saying that. They’re pickier and more entitled in general, but they don’t value looks more than men. Maybe ppl say that because dating apps where there is nothing else to go off of

everleexc · 2022-07-01T00:50:56+00:00

do men acually value facial attractiveness more than women but lie to themselves?

Both men and women value looks, but the greatest lie told to men in society has been "men are visual creatures." Women have always been the more visual creatures, as the biological programming to find the best mate is stronger in women than men (even if these women dont want children, the programming is there).

before anyone brings that outdated okcupid study, it is not only old and outdated, but most people don't use dating apps, especially before 2010, and there are like 5x men than women in those dating apps, it's not a reflection of real life, in real life i see many average guys with average and even pretty women, and even ugly guys with younger and prettier women, the reverse almost never happens.

Sure its not an accurate representation of real life, but it proves a general rule in human attraction/dating. Women see most men, at best, non sexual NPCs, while men see most women attractive. Imo, its not even 80/20 anymore, id argue its going towards 90/10.

everleexc · 2022-07-01T01:39:02+00:00

You deleted your reply to my comment, so ill just post it here.

then why are we not seeing average women with 10/10 guys?

Cause the 10/10 dudes would never give an average women a chance for a LTR, maybe a fling/pump & dump. Those dudes live in a completely different world, id argue its a world better than what a 10/10 women could have.

why are we not seeing 30-40 year old women demand 20-25 year old men and say that men over 30 are worthless?

Biologically programming tbh. Older men are just seen as better men by most women, no matter what her age. There are exceptions ofc, but youll almost never see an older women/younger guy LTR gain popularity.

i think that men were literally used to have young virginal women being served to them too much in the past, that when it changes just a little recently, they go insane like you guys do.

Ironically, young guys like me would be dead in the old days, cannon fodder for whatever war existed in that age. The men remaining would have their pick of their litter, as whenever you have a population that has more women than men, those men typically had women way more attractive than them. These are the men that in today's modern age, are the top 20% of men that women want a LTR with.

I suspect that those dudes who go insane go crazy because theyve realized subconsciously or consciously, they belong to the large portion of men who never had a chance to ever get a women and without any major war to naturely get rid of these men, you have an increasingly large amount of sexless and angry men.

resultsmatter1 · 2022-07-01T02:01:05+00:00

Money, the answer you’re looking for is money.

2022-07-01T02:41:49+00:00

why is a 10-year-old study on dating not valid?

RunItAndSee2021 · 2022-07-01T03:09:34+00:00

“how define ‘women’”

Bill5443 · 2022-07-01T03:18:37+00:00

It’s biology. The 10th president John Tyler was born in 1790 and has a surviving grandson today

IBreedSilkWorms · 2022-07-01T03:53:29+00:00

Women look more at a mans height than face. Still about looks, no?

XYZRGCMYK · 2022-07-01T04:16:43+00:00

Because women value money/resources even more (for LTRs). Older men are more likely to have those things than younger men.

Lavish_Dreamer · 2022-07-01T04:38:45+00:00

Men : We are visual creatures

Also Men: women only value looks !

Me and OP: Please pick one of the above.

FireGodGoesSeeknFire · 2022-07-01T05:39:16+00:00

Who says that? I mean, I have to disagree categorically. Women care about looks a motors than it used to be polite to admit but not nearly as much as men. It's not even close.

Only way that could seem true is if you sre counting the desperation of lots of younger men as mot caring. But, they do care they just don't have the capability to actualize that preference and the brain adjusts. As they get older and opportunities expand you see that looks are almost lexicographically important for many if not most men and the overwhelming factor for the rest.

Blueexpression · 2022-07-01T09:19:57+00:00

Money

BruddaMSK · 2022-07-01T15:21:15+00:00

Because they value age even more.

Namah-Mayco · 2022-07-02T06:00:38+00:00

Women change, men don't. Whether a guy's in his 20s or his 50s, he's always gonna find the 20-year old babe attractive. A woman usually starts off prioritizing looks, and then for whatever reason she's willing to settle as she hits her 30s, whether it's baby rabies, worrying about hitting the wall, not being able to stand being single when her friends are getting married, whatever.

Dear-Acanthaceae760 · 2022-07-06T00:52:56+00:00

Some men literally get more attractive in their 30s and 40s

Title	if women value looks more than men(according to this sub) why are older male yoounger female couples much more common than the reverse?
Author	kokorwqac
Upvotes	61
Comments	269
Date	June 30, 2022 1:53 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-value-looks-more-than-menaccording-to.1121964 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121964
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vo8yl2/if_women_value_looks_more_than_menaccording_to/