If you're a straight guy that gets hit on by gay guys is that what it feels like to be a girl?

thelajestic · 2020-10-03T14:26:41+00:00

I'm a woman and I don't care if people hit on me, regardless of whether or not I'm interested. What's creepy/scary etc are people who don't take no for an answer and keep trying to convince you, or touch you, or hurl abuse at you. I've luckily only had that happen a couple of times in person (I find getting abuse is more likely over text/online where I can at least just block people).

wtknight · 2020-10-03T16:50:34+00:00

Probably, except that there are many more straight guys than gay guys so women experience being approached much more often. Plus most gay guys realize that they don't have much of a chance with straight guys and they probably give up quickly, while many straight guys hitting on women are overly persistent and get angry when they are rejected because they believe that these woman should be interested in them.

MasterTeacher123 · 2020-10-03T11:44:43+00:00

Online dating destroyed the myth of gay men being picky.

reluctantly_red · 2020-10-03T13:43:40+00:00

I was hit on by guys several times when I was in my teens and early twenties. Most of them were low key about it and made it easy to brush away their advances. In such cases, it was no big deal. Several times we even continued our conversation after I made it clear I wasn't gay and he didn't push the issue (talking to a gay guy is a great way to attract women). The first time I was hit on I was only 16 so it creeped me out a bit but the guy wasn't pushy and backed off when he saw I wasn't interested. The only time I was seriously creeped out was when I missed the last bus home one night and was hitchhiking. I was 20 at the time. I got a lift from a guy in his mid 30s. He was really pushy and wouldn't take no for an answer. But we were already near my apartment and I just said here would be a good place to let me out.

Shenaniboozle · 2020-10-03T18:30:09+00:00

I think its a very minor taste, but not nearly the same.

Im a remarkably unremarkable man, at 5'10", Im an agreeable height, pretty much same can be said for build, nothing really all that special.

That being said, I have yet to meet anyone that if they were say in a fit a rage at me, I wouldnt be able to either defend myself or flee the scene.

I have seen men get outraged, angry, and, if there werent witnesses, im sure violent could also be applied.

That akwardness you felt, Im sure women feel, but were you concerned that if you didnt handle it just right you could be faced with a snarling ragebeast that was bigger, stronger, faster than you, almost purpose built to ruin your day?

No? Thats the difference, Awkwardness vs Awkwardness + Dread.

chlor0phil · 2020-10-03T19:00:42+00:00

Eh, happens to me often and either I'm desensitized or have so much wonderful empathy that I don't feel offended or violated. (lol I'm desensitized)

So I'm a hetero man, I live in a queer-friendly neighborhood, some of my friends are bi and gay and queer etc, and while they don't hit on me, sometimes we'll go to gay bars or to a party with their gay friends of friends who might make a pass. If they're obnoxious about it I'll say hey fucker cut it out, if they're respectful or smooth I'll say hey I'm flattered by the attention but I don't swing that way sorry. Used to work door at a dive bar, occasionally these drunk middle aged bears would try to get all touchy and that was weird... Also I got catcalled two weeks ago, I was crossing the street and these two dudes drove by in a convertible like "Heeeey, handsome!" which I thought was hilarious. Made my day actually!

That said, there are gay bars/clubs where it's kind of a consent-free zone, and bad stuff happens like random casual ass grabbing or aggressive hookup attempts in the bathroom. Which is fucked up, and needs to stop if gay men are really on the same page as the young woke queer community.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-10-03T13:24:19+00:00

No, because I’ve never complained about a gay guy showing interest in me. It’s flattering even though I’m not gay... and I’ve never complained about a straight, ugly chick showing interest in me. But I can easily defend myself physically against those women 9/10 times (there’s some tough ones out there).

Woman who complain about getting hit on too much at bars are usually terrible women who will be single for a long time.

I have 2 gal friends who used to get tons of attention at the bars from most of the guys. Of course, they would reap the benefits of the attractive dudes approaching them, but complain 24/7 about the unattractive guys who approaches them. They’re both still single, and the only difference is that attractive guys no longer approach them because they both look old now.

Zetsuclone · 2020-10-03T11:51:13+00:00

No because you are physically stronger BUT even if the guy was 9ft tall and 400 lbs you still have a male brain you will NEVER be as scared/neurotic as a woman in a the EXACT same situation.

Kaisha001 · 2020-10-03T14:40:33+00:00

Most tried to be my friend long before they wanted to be romantic, which took me some time to realize why they were being so nice to me (I was rather oblivious to it all when younger). The few times they were more direct, at no point did they do anything I felt uncomfortable with.

DeadMansBoots · 2020-10-03T20:54:27+00:00

Saying 'i have a girlfriend' usually makes them skitter away like lightning.

On the rare occasion when it's happened, it's never really bothered me.

SaBahRub · 2020-10-03T21:49:40+00:00

If you throw in that there’s a lot of them, and that they are all much stronger and bigger than you, yes

jdobrila · 2020-10-04T03:55:20+00:00

Where are you hanging out that gay men consistently hit on you? Gay bars?

Cannabanoid420 · 2020-10-05T03:59:20+00:00

This is actually one of my more favourite topics to talk about as someone who has worked in bars for the majority of my life.

I often have conversations with girls who throw the "You have no idea how gross guys can be when trying to pick you up." To which my reply is no I havent had to deal with too many sleazy women when they try and pick me up, but I've had to deal with some outrageous thing said to me by a gay guy."

Sometimes it's very flattering to be hit on by a gay guy(Especially if the guy is quite objectively attractive himself.) But other times I feel like I need to rinse my ears out with bleach.

Anyway there is no Black and White ways people get hit on and also how the recipient takes it.

KirthWGersen · 2020-10-03T13:52:46+00:00

Being hit on is one thing. It is flattering whoever is doing it, at least for me.

Having someone start touching you, grabbing your cock, kissing you without warning, etc. that is really fucking annoying whether it is a man or a woman.

SlutsHaveDaddyIssues · 2020-10-03T17:01:51+00:00

Virgin men are pure of female germs and homosexuals can sense that purity.

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2020-10-03T17:01:33+00:00

I flirt with gay guys back when they flirt with me even though I'm straight.

Idk I think it is fun and don't feel violated.

There used to be this gay doorman at this fancy restaurant/hotel near where I lived in 2019 and whenever I rode my bike past him we'd smile/wink at each other and make certain kinds of comments lmao.

NotGoingoutofMW · 2020-10-03T22:24:31+00:00

Not the same. There is no chance in hell that i can be even fell 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000001% attraction. A woman has always the chance to somehow feel attraction or thinking he is kinda cute etc.

Got hit from gays 6x times started all around two years ago. 5 of them were pushy but in the end it was no biggie. Was a confirmation that my work is paying off though.

Grave_Heresy · 2020-10-04T01:06:14+00:00

For some reason gay guys hit on me a lot. I'm not gay but I still like it. Don't know what it feels like to be a girl because I've never been in a position where I get so much attention that it starts to bother me.

WilliamWyattD · 2020-10-04T11:23:58+00:00

Obviously, there are a lot of differences between a straight guy being complimented or even hit on by a gay guy, and a straight woman being approached by a straight guy.

That said, yes, I agree that if you use some imagination and reason, such situations can aid the average guy in understanding and empathizing for women.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2020-10-04T14:07:29+00:00

Nah, not quite the same. I've gotten hit on by gay men a few times. I was surprised and amused. Maybe a little flattered? Didn't feel uncomfortable.

But it was only a few times; it hasn't happened anywhere near the point where I'd be annoyed. Whereas (attractive) women get all kinds of regular, non-stop attention from guys.

antoline21 · 2020-10-04T16:25:23+00:00

i get use to that as a straight men that get hit a lot by gay guys it boost my ego so much i find it funny most of the times

joesmithasdf · 2020-10-05T08:22:24+00:00

I do believe it’s not the same when women say they feel threatened, which I never felt like. Maybe except that one time when I was early teens and some old guy groped me on public transportation but life goes on.

Someone mentioned catcalling and gay men never did that to me, but as weird as it sounds, girls did that twice.

passepar2t · 2020-10-05T11:36:40+00:00

idk, the few times gay guys tried to get my fone, they stopped pursuing immediately after I said I'm straight.

When I was with one girl, her gay friend thought I was cute but he never hit on me because he knew better.

In no case was I uncomfortable.

I think I'd have been more uncomfortable if, as the women say, their suitors won't leave them alone and also they're twice as strong as me.

Moe_W_Lester · 2020-10-05T11:40:48+00:00

Yes. Same as straight men have no sexual attraction to gay men and therefore don't want to be hit on by them, straight women have no sexual attraction to men and don't want to be hit on by them either. Women just tolerate sex under certain conditions, and just so they can get a relationship in return. Any sexual arousal that a man outwardly shows towards a woman is viewed as physically repulsive and frightening. Women view the male sexual lust towards female bodies as predatory and they always desire to limit or eliminate it completely. This is why the MeToo movement exists.

2020-10-08T18:18:27+00:00

Maybe?

I've been felt up by gay men in bi clubs. I hear that that is what life as (attractive) women is like...it wasnt particularily pleasant or welcome.

My ass has also been ogled by both men or women in public, so theres that. I dont mind looking, so, it was flattering in both situations.

Either way, I dont think its a good thing to standardize toxic behavior.

Men and women who invade space or make others feel uncomfortable are assholes. No one should have to deal with that. Its not gender specific, its toxic misguided privilege that needs to be demonized.

goneaway2thewind · 2020-10-03T19:13:00+00:00

Women like attention, even if they are acting like they don't, they still value being validated

PickleLine · 2020-10-03T16:19:45+00:00

No because straight guys would never be attracted to a gay guy.

Women's interest is fluid. If she is sufficiently desperate, she will find guys that she wasn't interested in more attractive. It gives her entitlement and mental safety like "Ok this guy is decent, I know I can always get attention and dates from men like this even if I don't feel like dating him right now". Random men that women wouldn't date still give them a boost in self esteem and confidence.

I would never even consider dating a gay guy, so it gives me no self esteem and no confidence boost.

There's a reason why women always use the gay guy analogy and not an ugly woman analogy in this situation.

NoRoperino · 2020-10-03T11:48:50+00:00

If the girl is getting hit on by a lesbian, then yes must fell similar.

Title	If you're a straight guy that gets hit on by gay guys is that what it feels like to be a girl?
Author	bayfarm
Upvotes	16
Comments	63
Date	October 3, 2020 11:36 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/j4ebaf/if_youre_a_straight_guy_that_gets_hit_on_by_gay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-youre-a-straight-guy-that-gets-hit-on-by-gay.280975 https://theredarchive.com/post/280975