This seems to be the pattern of almost every long term relationship or marriage out there. The woman initially does have sex with the man, usually with a decent level of enthusiasm. However as time goes on, her sexual desire completely tanks. Within 2-3 years at most (sometimes a lot sooner), that sexual desire for her partner has all but gone. In many cases, she finds the man totally repulsive on a sexual level and will give any amount of excuses to not be intimate with him anymore.
This leads men to do things like seek affairs outside the relationship, pay for escorts behind her back, do extra chores around the house in the hope he can negotiate that desire back somehow, go to marriage counselling sessions, or simply just put up with no sex anymore.
But can this loss of desire be prevented? The Red Pill gives some strategies, but a) they only mitigate the situation and b) they are often not realistic solutions. Some of the strategies TRP advocates are:
- don't get married. Marriage signs you into a contract that is expensive and difficult to get out of for the man, so it gives the woman all the power. This is a good solution, but can't be applied to LTRs, plus it's difficult if you want to marry to start a family.
- don't co-habitate. Seeing each other every day breeds familiarity and comfort, which kills sexual desire. A reasonable solution, but if you see each other enough times, the familiarity will eventually manifest itself, whether you live together or not. Not living together just delays it a bit.
- apply active dread. In other words, have options outside your relationship to keep her desire. Might work when you're young, but becomes more and more difficult as you get older, you see friends less, other people pair off and start families etc. Also difficult if you start a family, are you prepared to exercise your options and ruin your kids life just for the sake of a bit of sex?
- apply passive dread (appear that you have options, even though you don't). Might work for a while, but you can't keep the chirade going forever, particularly if the woman has a decent level of social intelligence. She will eventually find out you have no options.
- start working out, get in shape, or make some other big change that makes you sexually more attractive. This could work if you're already fat and out of shape, but if you already work out and have a decent amount of muscle, it's useless.
Anyway, all these strategies have their limitations (if I've missed any out, please say). There's nothing that fully works to keep a woman's desire at the level it was when you first met her. It only seems to mitigate it at best.
Can this loss of desire be prevented or is it ultimately impossible to prevent?
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