I've seen a few comments recently from women on here saying that "men in the real world don't think like that" or "men in the real world don't care about X/do care about Y" (I saw that comment specifically in relation to a woman's career and education level). I've also seen a few comments about men in the real world not going for younger women and preferring women around their own age (or maybe they are just forced to go for women their own age?).
So in your experience, what are some things that are different about men in the real world compared to men on the red pill, purple pill debate and the manosphere in general?
Also if there are any similarities, what are they?
[–]kristynaZ10 points [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
A lot of men on this sub say men don't care about a woman's job or how much money she makes and that accomplished men are ok with dating a college student who works part-time in Starbucks.
They actively advise young women in their early 20s to use their good looks to lock up an older, successful man.
I am now 28 years old, so it's not so long ago when I was in my early 20s too and what I saw in reality was that successful older men date other successful, educated women as serious partners. They may want the sweet feminine early 20s girls as a side chick, but they don't want them as a partner for life.
So telling a young girl to just be sweet and feminine and it doesn't matter if she is broke and has no career prospects, as long as she is pretty and settles down with an older man - this is a terrible advice. The chances are that she will end up used and discarded by that older and well established man.
I have a suspicion that is advice is given by men who feel like they missed out some fun in their youth and they can't stand the idea that some women didn't miss out and so they just have a general disdain for women who don't settle down in their early 20s.
What I would advice the now early 20s girls - don't try to chase older guys. Date dudes your age or if there are no suitable dudes your age around you, just stay single. You can always look for an older guy when you are in your mid to late 20s and you stand on your own feet, you have your own money. The actually accomplished men will respect and appreciate you more that way.
[–]HedgeRunner 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]kristynaZ2 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, there is so much old-fashioned thinking here. And I am not from the US btw., I am from Europe. And not even from one of the most progressive European countries. I'd say my country is somewhere in the middle in Europe when it comes to gender relations - not much progressive but not much conservative either.
But I still find a lot of the thinking on this sub super old-fashioned. You don't see this in reality, young men and women have moved away from it long time ago.
People nowadays absolutely expect women to have careers.
I agree that the college degree itself is not the most important thing if you can still be successful without it.
And I agree that we are generalizing here a lot - mostly what I have been saying applies to upper middle class.
But the reason why I was talking about that is that I wanted to refute the idea that young women can catch these older upple middle class guys purely with their looks. This is what I was talking about - men who are successful enough to be upper middle class and higher don't choose their wifes only based on looks.
They care about their education, intelligence and career.
Of course men who are not as educated, successful and intelligent themselves will not have such requirements.
[–]HedgeRunner 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]kristynaZ1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Is it really a mess though? I think some of the problems are being blown out of proportion online.
That being said, I have never been in the US, so I don't know. I have some American friends here in Prague but they are not a good source on this, since they are an "old" married couple in their 40s.
I can't complain about dating in my country. As anywhere in the world, it can be brutal in your teenage years if you don't fit the beauty standards perfectly, because kids can be really mean.
But once you grow out of that awkward stage, it's not difficult. As a woman, what you need to do is to maintain decent looks, preferably get a degree (it's for free here, so no need to get in debt), get a solid paying job, don't be a moron, don't be super passive and wait for a perfect dude to magifically fall in your lap out of nowhere.
I can't speak for men, as I am not a man, but what I can say is that we generally don't have an incel movement and you just don't even see dudes complaining about not being able to date women.
We do have gender-related arguments in the public space about things like sexual violence, false rape accusations, pay-gap etc., but this doesn't spill over to arguments about dating problems.
It could be also cultural though. Correct me if I am wrong but Americans seem to be relatively ok adopting the role of a victim in a public place. It seems like they don't have a problem saying they are not doing well in some area because they think they are disadvantaged by external factors.
In my culture, people are quite hesitant to adopt a victim role. People don't want to feel like victims, they hesitate saying they are disadvantaged, because that would require them to admit they suck at something and they fear it would make them look bad, like they are looking for excuses.
So maybe people here are a little less willing to talk openly about their dating failures.
[–]HedgeRunner 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]kristynaZ1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
You mean female and male profile?
Sure the female one would get more likes. But this is imho because a huge amount of male users of dating apps are looking for casual sex there. Men are just looking for sex so much more often, hence they are on the apps so much more frequently, so they just flood them, causing the horrid gender ratio on these apps, ruining it also for men who look for a relationship.
I don't really think this is something you can fix though. It's just how things are.
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