Is autism sometimes used as a gaslighting technique against men?

CimZim · 2021-11-06T20:21:46+00:00

Not gaslighting, no. Gaslighting is calling someone a liar or making them constantly question their version of events in order to hurt their recollection of reality. Essentially an abuse tactic to drive someone crazy. I have no idea what the "reddit definition" is.

Autism has been used as an insult towards both sexes, albeit men more often. But yes, I've been asked by people here (who obviously never read my flair) what's wrong with me/why do I fail at dating/why do I write strangely...all ending in "are you autistic or something???"

Barneysparky · 2021-11-06T20:30:17+00:00

Autism is a social disability.

Why are you surprised people that have autism have problems socializing?

ToughAnswers · 2021-11-06T19:53:03+00:00

Men with good outcomes are usually never diagnosed as autistic.

Well, programmers

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-11-06T22:43:53+00:00

I've discussed my experiences as a man on the autism spectrum (diagnosed about a decade and a half ago) plenty of times on here and I've been told I'm lying, or insulted over it a few times, but usually it's been by other men so... Not sure what to make of it other than that some people are toxic garbage. Someone actually tried to tell me that I am not on the spectrum once. That one was funny especially given that I was diagnosed at 12 and was in therapy for years.

Funny thing is that I am diagnosed on the spectrum and yet my own life outcomes have largely been positive as an adult.

NockerJoe · 2021-11-06T19:48:09+00:00

I know autistic guys who got laid plenty. But at the same time, autism is 100% used as an insult against men several times that I've seen.

Blackheart201992 · 2021-11-06T20:13:46+00:00

The A word definitely gets thrown around way too liberally these days. It's like "oh, you're a nerdy guy who's into Star Wars and doesn't like sportsball? Lol, autist."

I think it's a sign of the times. Back in the day, it was widely accepted that not every man fit into the macho, Chad/Chadlite stereotype. Now, they're literally pathologizing unattractive male personality traits.

Slipthe · 2021-11-06T19:48:43+00:00

No there's just this weird overlap of self proclaimed autists and people who frequent reddit.

Hoopy223 · 2021-11-06T20:32:27+00:00

Yes its used as an insult. Anytime some guy posts up about social difficulties you will have someone calling him an “Autist” within 3-4 mins. The idea being that if a guy has problems he mist be defective.

Its gotten so bad that people will self-diagnose as autistic lmao.

SaBahRub · 2021-11-06T19:51:54+00:00

Why wouldn’t a majority male mental disorder that primarily affects socializing be an issue in dating and relationships?

RaspberryJuiceBox · 2021-11-06T20:37:30+00:00

No, autism is not used to gaslight men. Autism isn’t a personality trait, it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder, which by definition means that people who have it will experience challenges due to it.

You can’t have autism and experience zero difficulties because of it. It’s not possible.

Men are not usually diagnosed with autism because autistic men are usually recognized as autistic when they are boys. If not when they’re a toddler, definitely before they age out of the school system.

Of course, there are still autistic people who do well and are high functioning but that does not mean they don’t struggle in areas related to socializing and communicating. Much of the autism assessment for toddlers involves watching how they play with toys and the rest is how they communicate.

There’s zero reason to believe that anyone could be autistic if they don’t show poor outcomes and poor development of social and/or communication skills, so I don’t know why you’d expect an autistic person not to show any deficits in those areas, so of course a male who has a good outcome, who has never shown a sign of having autism or a developmental delay when it comes to communication, or severe lack of social skills (ie bad outcomes) would not get diagnosed with autism.

Honestly, why would you expect men with good outcomes not to be diagnosed? Sure, some may slip through the cracks but let’s face it, if an autistic man can succeed in all facets of life and have a great outcome then one has to ask if he is actually disabled.

As with any disorder, diagnosis only happens when an individual fails to function normally.

The majority of autistic people about 80% have some degree of intellectual disability or learning disabilities too and it’s always abundantly obvious with these folks.

The autistic people who don’t have ID are a minority, you just don’t see the autistic majority because these kids don’t go to regular schools and as adults they are in group homes.

Also, as for autism therapy, I would say there is more focus on building communication skills when it comes to autism therapy than to get someone work-ready not the other way around, however, this is only in childhood therapy and that’s because autistics don’t get any therapy in adulthood.

There is a severe lack of programs to help autistic adults whether socially or with employment and the programs that exist are directed towards the autistic majority, not the minority who have average or above average intelligence.

I know autistic adults who have pretty decent social skills but can’t hold down a job and the support for them in society is pretty minimal.

It’s true though, if you can’t succeed as a man there really must be something wrong with you or you’re marginalized for some reason not related to being male (ie, poverty, race, abusive parents, being bullied, mental illness) because the system DOES MASSIVELY favour men.

As a side note, 50% of male suicides are among men with learning disabilities. Lack of success in life is obviously a huge factor in their depression and taking their lives.

superlurkage · 2021-11-06T20:20:07+00:00

If the shoe fits it’s not gaslighting

Prestigious-Mud-1304 · 2021-11-06T21:37:30+00:00

Curiously yes, for some reason "Autistic" has a high correlation with being below average looking.

GoToPurplePillDebate · 2021-11-06T20:59:23+00:00

its just an insult for those low in the social hierarchy, implying it's due to their "bad social skills" (just like autistic have).

Since women's social hierarchy is not based on any skill, it'd be ridiculous to use it for women, hence is only used for men.

So yes.

Mimoxs · 2021-11-06T21:43:18+00:00

Men with good outcomes are usually never diagnosed as autistic.

"Good outcome" meaning?

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-11-06T22:08:08+00:00

More often than not. If you have problems with dating, then something must be wrong with you. There has to be, because all good and normal people find relationships and friends quite easily while all bad and abnormal people don't. Thus sayeth the just world fallacy.

Pilling_it · 2021-11-06T22:14:14+00:00

The term has lost all social meaning as it's a blanket insult nowadays.

Truth_Sellah_Seekah · 2021-11-06T20:48:38+00:00

Gatekeeping, Toxic, Gaslighting, Emasculation.

Long time ago, the four lived in harmony. Then everything changed when Autism attacked. Only Feminism master of all four elements, could stop it, but when FDS needed her the most, she vanished.

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Perseus_the_Bold · 2021-11-06T22:22:31+00:00

It's hard to gaslight someone who just doesn't care - or doesn't get it.

A couple of years ago a female employee insinuated that I may have Asperger's in some argument we were having. I thought she was making some kind of joke since the word Ass-burgers sounds funny; but I didn't get the joke so I just blinked at her. She got even more irritated at my lack of reaction and after a few more argumentative words she walked away. It wasn't till latter when I was retelling the event to other colleagues that another female employee said "She was trying to discombobulate you by gaslighting to make you lose your composure." Then she thought it was hilarious as hell that I didn't even comprehend that I was being gaslighted which is why I did not react to it. "Men are so dumb, that's why triggering you doesn't work" she said between giggles.

The fact that she called a room full of men "dumb" and we all took it as an affectionate remark is the reason women - at least at my job - enjoy being around men. They feel that they express themselves in front of us without us taking any shit personally - which is how healthy banter works and builds camaraderie and familiarity. This female employee I had been arguing with was notorious for toxic behavior and drama mongering. She terrorized the rest of the women at work with constant little passive aggressive remarks, gossip, innuendo, and back handed comments. Goes without saying she is not with the company anymore, I let her go after covering all the bases with HR in order to be justified in firing her for creating a hostile working environment.

Why she called me an autist? I still have no idea, and to this day it just doesn't make any sense to me. I simply don't get it and that is why it doesn't affect me. And I am finding out that most men are this way as well. We do not react to thinks that don't make any sense.

For example: Telling a man that he throws like a girl may elicit a reaction from him since this is something we can understand. But telling a man that he throws like a platypus? lol No. First of all it's kinda hilarious to imagine a platypus throwing something and 2nd it's totally unrelatable, disjointed, and out of context. Like what does it even mean?

So yeah, most men can't be gaslighted simply because we just do not think or operate in a world view where gaslighting would be effective. It just goes over our heads. Do not confuse being gaslighted with being provoked - these are NOT the same thing.

oh you can’t succeed as a man then there must be something wrong with you as the system inherently favors men.

As a man this does not gaslight us because I imagine most men would react with something like "Lol No it doesn't!" The premise of the gaslight here is based on such a false premise that most men are more prone to laughing at the ridiculousness of it before they even get to thinking about "what is wrong with them." Of course there is nothing wrong with me because your assessment of the real world is just bullshit. The world does not favor men, therefore nothing's wrong with me.

By the way. The vast majority of people who claim to be autistic are actually not - they are just emotionally stunted dolts looking for a protected label to call themselves by. Autism requires a clinical diagnosis from a professional Clinical Psychologist. The first thing a doctor will tell you is that there is no such thing as "a little bit autistic."

No, there is no such thing as being a little autistic. Many people may show some characteristics of autism from time to time. This may include avoiding bright lights and noises, preferring to be alone and being rigid about rules. This does not make them autistic.

However, a person can be mildly autistic. Mildly autistic people are unable to understand the body language or emotions (sarcasm, pain and anger) of the people around them. However, they have normal intelligence and can carry their day-to-day activities.

Therefore a truly autistic person would actually be immune to being gaslighted because they would have trouble understanding the sarcasm or double-speak of the triggering words. If anything they would just be confused.

I recommend the following book for anyone who is wondering what life as a truly autistic person is like: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon.

DiamondLilyD · 2021-11-07T10:18:57+00:00

No, but autistic men do tend to be very annoying.

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-11-07T13:31:16+00:00

Well, when we're talking about PPD, which is a sub for discussing dating, autism becomes very relevant because 70% of male autists never get into a single relationship and 70% of female autists get into abusive relationships.

Men with good outcomes are usually never diagnosed as autistic.

And disagreed. I actually know more autistic people that are stars in their carreer then non-autistic people. If you can wield your autism well and direct it, you can become the best at your particular interest.

Title	Is autism sometimes used as a gaslighting technique against men?
Author	Cunari
Upvotes	7
Comments	39
Date	November 6, 2021 7:46 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qo7q8c/is_autism_sometimes_used_as_a_gaslighting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-autism-sometimes-used-as-a-gaslighting.1085565 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085565