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Is “going red pill” unfair to a spouse/LTR?

September 30, 2015
10 upvotes

Red Pill and Blue Pill advocates both tend to agree that two consenting adults can have whatever kind of relationship they want to have – as long as both adults consent to it. In the case of The Red Pill, that would mean that if a man and a woman both believe in “traditional gender roles,” whatever that might mean to various people, and that’s the kind of relationship the two of them willingly establish together, neither Red Pill or Blue Pill people have a problem with that.

Question 1 – Is the above actually true for all (or nearly all) of Blue Pill advocates? Or do some Blue Pill people believe that The Red Pill is inherently wrong, abusive, immoral, etc., by its very nature, and that even if both parties consent to the relationship, it is not an appropriate relationship to have under any circumstance?

Except in extremely rare cases where the stars align just right, a relationship does not normally involve two people who are absolutely equal in every way. Somebody in the relationship is going to have slightly more power than the other person, whether that’s the person who cares less, the person who has more options for other relationships, the person who owns the house/apartment, the person with more money – whatever. Even when two people try to be as fair and equal as they can with each other, there’s always going to be at least a slight power disparity.

In the case of a Red Pill relationship, the power balance weighs heavily toward the man. The man usually makes more money, expects reasonably frequent sex, sets and enforces boundaries, and blows off, stonewalls, or leaves if he receives bullshit, disrespect, or if his boundaries are pushed. A “Red Pill man” is encouraged to maintain himself so that he will have an easier time finding other options, and to cut loose people who don’t add value to his life. This creates a situation where a woman often can’t negotiate for more power in the relationship. It’s either the way the man wants, or she can leave, often facing hardship if the man has financial power or owns the living accommodations.

Question 2 – Does a clear power disparity, if present, change whether a Red Pill relationship is appropriate? Does it shed doubt on a woman’s genuine consent to the style/boundaries of the relationship?

Many Red Pillers are men that were unhappy with their current relationship and decided to make changes. These changes not only involved improving themselves physically and mentally, but also changing their behaviors and the way they interact with their significant others. Essentially, men who felt powerless or undervalued in their relationships used The Red Pill to improve their value and take back some (or even most/all) of the power in their relationships, at the expense of their SO’s power in the relationship. In these cases, obviously, the women did not consent to establishing a Red Pill relationship at the beginning. However, the option remains for a woman in this position to leave if she’s unhappy with the changes the man is making. Or to remain and try things his way.

Question 3 – Does the man’s choice to unilaterally make changes based on his own wants/happiness affect the answers to questions 1 and 2 above? Has he pulled an unfair bait-and-switch? If a woman chooses to remain in the relationship anyway, would her actual consent to the new style/boundaries of the relationship the man is pursuing be in doubt?

Most Red Pillers are not open about the fact that they frequent an internet forum filled with woman-bashing and tactics that seem to make at least some women out there more inclined to have sex with them. Many are secret misogynists, pick-up artists, or just regular joes who don’t respect women outside of the value those women provide to their lives.

Question 4 – Does a man’s secrecy about The Red Pill affect the answers to any of questions 1 through 3 above? More specifically, if the woman in question knew about The Red Pill, and she would never have gotten involved with the man if she knew, but she otherwise genuinely loves the man, how he looks, how he acts -- everything else about him -- is her consent to the relationship invalid due to the man's enormous secret?

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Post Information
Title Is “going red pill” unfair to a spouse/LTR?
Author Archwinger
Upvotes 10
Comments 81
Date September 30, 2015 9:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-going-red-pill-unfair-to-a-spouseltr.279310
https://theredarchive.com/post/279310
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3n0mff/is_going_red_pill_unfair_to_a_spouseltr/
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