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Men and women, have you ever been the "Chad/Stacy" who she/he was cheating with? What are your feelings on it now?

June 14, 2022
19 upvotes

I've always thought about being that guy, I got the looks for it, and some candidates. But I feel as though it might be more trouble than it is fun. I'm redpill so It's supposed to be "amoral", but I'd really feel bad for the BF cause I wouldn't want to be him lol but at the same time, she's gonna end up cheating anyway... Why not with me?

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Post Information
Title Men and women, have you ever been the "Chad/Stacy" who she/he was cheating with? What are your feelings on it now?
Author PaleoPimp
Upvotes 19
Comments 111
Date June 14, 2022 2:30 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit /r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-and-women-have-you-ever-been-the-chadstacy-who.1116071
https://theredarchive.com/post/1116071
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vbt1lm/men_and_women_have_you_ever_been_the_chadstacy/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]doshkhaleesi 15 points16 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I had a married coworker way back when flirt heavily with me and then ask me if I wanted to start seeing him. His wife had just had a baby like 3 months prior and “was never in the mood anymore.” Luckily when I said no he was angry and never spoke to me again.

I’m average btw. Not “that girl” by any stretch.

[–]localmicrodosechamp 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Average experience

[–]masterlaster1199 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I just don't get it. What exactly makes it -so hard- to actually get intimacy from a wife? Not even a goodbye kiss on both cheeks every morning before work? Not even cuddles while sleeping?

[–]gofigure62No Pill 12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Probably complaining about not getting sex after the wives get their vagina's torn to shreds after giving them a baby.

The general lack of compassion or reason more than likely seeps into other aspects of their relationships that turns the wife completely off.

[–]mcove97No Pill 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I legit don't get why guys who really love sex and who can't go a long time without sex want kids, and especially multiple kids. They do realize that their wives vaginas are gonna be torn apart to push a baby out right? And that birth obviously requires a lot of time to fully heal and recover from ?? And that having babies requires a lot of time and energy and effort that will zap their wives of the energy to have sex?

Is it just me or are these kinds of guys all levels of stupid and ignorant?

[–]gofigure62No Pill 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't think that they care at all. Typically they're used to getting their way by whining enough, stonewalling, or doing whatever to make his doormat of a wife fold. So, he probably expects that he'll still be able to get sex or sexually serviced despite the kids if he's used to getting his way any other time.

Lot's of wives joke about "how funny" it is that their husbands ask for handjobs or blow jobs while they're in the hospital during or after delivery.

This sit behavior is usually coddled and pacified by the wife, until she snaps after X amount of years of his trashy behavior. That's why these men are always so dumbfounded when the wife wants a divorce, because they've always been self absorbed assholes and the wife never had a problem with that behavior until she does.

[–]Mobrowncheeks 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No they don’t “ realize” anything. They just get married because they love their wives and want to have children with their wives. And they also want to be faithful to their wives, they aren’t having. Forethought’s of “ well if I get married that’s it for sex”

[–]masterlaster1199 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Probably even the sex itself was unexciting that the wife soon relegated sex from fun/bonding to 'just to have kids'.

[–]gofigure62No Pill 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

More than likely. With men described above the sex is also probably uncomfortable if not painful as well. Those guys really don't give a shit about anything but themselves.

[–]MasterTeacher123 11 points12 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

I remember Cam Newton on his podcast said throughout his life he’s always been the guy that countless girls cheat on their boyfriends/husbands with so that had caused him at times to be jaded about commitment.

[–]Patrickstarho 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This happens all the time with famous people.

[–]Temporary-Drawing212 3 points4 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

He's basically scared of men like himself coming in and ruining commitment basically.

[–]Mobrowncheeks 6 points7 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Lol no, he’s scared to waste time with an undisciplined women, men don’t “ make” people cheat.

[–]youdontevengoh3r3 [score hidden]  (13 children) | Copy Link

Men statistically cheat more than women though. So men are more undisciplined?

[–]Mobrowncheeks [score hidden]  (12 children) | Copy Link

No they don’t. Men and women statistically cheat at the same levels,

[–]Short-FingersPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow that’s crazy

[–]vuvvuvvu💋 19 points20 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I've always thought about being that guy, I got the looks for it, and some candidates.

If you consider yourself an attractive guy with options I’m sure you get girls that ARE single so I’m curious what the appeal of cheating with a woman would be? Is it just one of those “its wrong but feels good” kinda thing?

[–]HTML_Novice 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She’s hot and won’t want anything serious probably

[–]manfredoalfredo -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

appeal of cheating with a woman would be

Its not the appeal of cheating with a woman, its the appeal of having sex with a woman. You don't see why having sex with a woman would appeal to a straight man?

A woman's marital status is hardly the concern of strange men. It is a thing that exists only between her and her husband - unless we're going back to criminal legal consequences like imprisonment for infidelity in which case sure, rope strangers into the institution since its been made a truly public institution in that case.

[–]Shasta_Soldier 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sounds good until you cross the wrong guy and get that @$$ beat or worse.

[–]Hungry-Adagio2152 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Back when I was dating I made it a point to never get involved with married/attached women…but even then there were a few chicks who were “secretly” cheating on the husband/BF, or eventually claimed that they “had an understanding” with the partner that they could do this, or whatever. I got away from these types of women as fast as I could. Absolutely not worth the trouble - and I was also the guy who had been cheated on in the past too. I don’t want to be part of that.

Not to mention that women who will openly cheat are usually nuts.

[–]manfredoalfredo 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you don't live in a fictional TV show world where men actually mate guard you'll be fine. Married women are extremely low risk.

[–]That__ESTPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Married women are extremely low risk.

I believe this, but why is it?

I've heard lots of times that men and women cheat the same amount, men just get caught more.

[–]vuvvuvvu💋 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

But again, if OP is an attractive man with OPTIONS, surely there are single girls interested who want to have sex so why go for taken women?

[–]roguish_roguePurple Pill Man 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Casual sex is nice, most guys rarely if ever experience it.

[–]FineDevelopment00🤦🏻‍♂️NAMALT/NAWALT🤦🏻‍♀️ 17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

have you ever been the "Stacy" who he was cheating with?

No, but I could have if I'd been into them and didn't have morals, neither of which was ever the case for me. I still feel the same way about the degenerates who do that - utterly disgusted. Don't do it, man.

[–]Express-Fig-5168Purple Pilled "Stacylite" 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Agreed however as I grow older I become more apathetic towards persons whose morals don't align with mine, the majority, nor the objective moral theories.

[–]FineDevelopment00🤦🏻‍♂️NAMALT/NAWALT🤦🏻‍♀️ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Apathy is an easy trap to fall into, for sure. However, if we're going to try bettering society even just a little bit then we can't give up on upholding a higher standard.

[–]Al-Ma_mun 21 points22 points  (33 children) | Copy Link

"Amoral" redpill shit is stupid as fuck. Being a good person in all factors of life is the mandatory standard to die as a person with respect for yourself and others around you. Stop falling into the hole a lot of these lost apathetic hedonists want to drag you down into. This is way bigger than getting your dick wet. Maybe it's because I come from an "honor culture" but things like questioning whether or not its ok to participate in infidelity is almost like asking if it's ok to steal or hurt others physically for your own pleasure(not saying you are doing this but its a similar perception)

[–]Gigamon2014No Pill 4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Your "honour culture" is utterly garbage. Lol at bragging about a culture which kills hundreds of female family members every year. You're possessing no moral high ground here.

[–]Al-Ma_mun1 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Every kind of culture produces extremities, because members of such cultures are individuals with personal will and not some essentialized monolith of the "other", being only peddled as the negative opposite of your observer, not existing outside of it.

Your "freedom culture" is garbage, every year it bombs hundreds of thousand of people and cuts off the genitals of mentally ill people. When they get really into freedom they nuke cities, genocide ethnic minorities, shoot up schools, overthrow governments, debt slave the poor, sell drugs to poverty stricken populations after killing thousands to get the drugs there, and then start large land wars that kill tens of millions or threaten to destroy the planet in nuclear hellfire over ideological bickering.

See what I did there little man?

[–]Gigamon20141 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

And yet, here you are, in the west.

You can always fuck off back to the middle east.

You wont...none of you ever do.

[–]Al-Ma_mun1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha Ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah so fucking easy to dance around and expose you imbeciles, a little push and the caveman everybody already knows is there reveals itself. A diminished intellect where basic critical thinking presented in its most basic form is still too much to comprehend, the beast can only sense resistance and thus just projects the stupidity being resisted onto the other. A monkey can not understand the words shouted at him, the monkey only hears a loud noise and then screams even louder.

Here, I'll break it down in an even more simple way for your totally "I'm the bull in the cuck relationship" bullshitter brain. You are not "the west". You are not "freedom culture". You're you, a retard with no morals. Culture you were raised in may encourage or discourage certain actions subtlety, but in the end, a retard is a retard and a shit head is a shit head. How this is expressed can be explored further in your sociology class once you get to the 11th grade.

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece 0 points1 point  (22 children) | Copy Link

I’m sure you’ll get your ribbon in the next life….

But I’m livin it up now I ain’t gonna be the only nun in hell sorry gotta cheat and get mines 😈

[–]Al-Ma_mun 11 points12 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Bad people are miserable people. You are not some sexy psychopath or scheming billionaire, you're a loser with bad impulse control and some form of early age trauma. You're no different from an alcoholic who can't stop drinking. Stirner and de Sade were shitposters, not role models.

Also, the majority of prisoners are low iq imbeciles who cannot even fathom second order narratives. They literally cannot understand the existence of minds outside of their own. All bad people are on this spectrum of stupidity or engulfed in some higher purpose to the point of insanity, think of dictators, billionaires, or warlords. But this isn't you, your amoral pursuits is just sex. You are not Napoleon, you are the idiots he sent to die.

[–]manfredoalfredo 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Which value system not adhered to defines a bad person? Islam? Mormonism? An arbitrary one you decide?

[–]localmicrodosechamp 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s not that hard

[–]FreshPrinceOfIndia 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Complicating these things to bring out a grey area where there is none doesn't make you clever lol, it's as simple as not facilitating an act that actively hurts someone. I promise there are better things to get "philosophical" about

[–]Al-Ma_mun1 points [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

The one where you don't fuck other people's wives. Cool "arbitrary", just like the "arbitrary" one that keeps most people from beating in your skull for a few dollars.

I'm not going to bother arguing online with teenagers

[–]localmicrodosechamp 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly

[–]localmicrodosechamp 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I can’t imagine being able to live like this. Yuck.

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You know you love it

[–]localmicrodosechamp 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

If that were true you’d be able to just ask if I love it and respect my autonomy instead of telling me how I feel.

[–]myersfoxThe only cure for contempt is counter-contempt -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Didn’t you say you lost yours by cheating at some point

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nah I lost mine to a stripper

[–]myersfoxThe only cure for contempt is counter-contempt 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wasn’t talk about virginity lol but wow

[–]manfredoalfredo 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Being a good person in all factors of life

A person who lives by their values is a good person. Your value system is divergent from any other randomly selected person's value system, and no two people will appraise the same person as good by the exact same criteria.

In other words, there is no more reason to accept your estimation of a "good person" than there is to accept any other random person's estimation, including the people who couldn't care less about infidelity. Your value system is arbitrary, and if it is not, then neither is the value system directly at odds with it, which defines good oppositely to the way you define it.

[–]Express-Fig-5168Purple Pilled "Stacylite" 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Moral relativist I see.

[–]Al-Ma_mun -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're on summer break right?

[–]plasticpollution12 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

my friend did this and ended uo getting his face smashed with a hammer.

[–]Gigamon2014No Pill 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's crazy. I've been with hardly any cheaters (that I know of) except for one I can remember. She was stunning but she also claimed to have been a former escort. I met her in the gym and wasn't remotely aware she had a boyfriend. He sounded like a kook though so I'm not sure I can cry tears for him.

Funnily enough I've smashed probably over a hundred mens wives with their husbands consent. For all the talk about cheating, there are a surprising amount of men who are seemingly turned on by it.

[–]Complex-Glass-8539 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So, for me it matters. When I was young I wouldn’t do it, because the people I’d do it with had a better choice.

However, since my divorce I’ve been the other (quite) a few times. The reality is marriage with kids can and often does make cheating the best option for the kids.

You can scoff at that with you’re black and white thinking all you want, but the fact remains that a stable, kind, friendly 2 parent home is usually better than even a stable coparenting relationship. I personally wish I could’ve managed cheating on my ex to maintain that relationship. We work well together as coparents, remain friends, and money is fine, but our kids, never the less, we’re hurt by our split. Their life is harder and less stable because of it. Going back and forth, having 2 bedrooms, 2 homes, 2 slightly different sets of rules….not to mention the initial pain of the split. Will they be okay? Of course, they are good kids and my ex and I both love the shit out of them. But the problem is, we weren’t in love with each other, I needed that, she was fine being best friends.

I hear my story play out from every woman who I’ve been the side guy for. The same “I’ve brought this up for years”, the same “he changes for a month and then right back to ignoring me”, the same “he can’t even get hard for me”….the same thing I went through, and they are making the choice to stay for the kids and cheat when they know they won’t get caught.

Flat out, if you’re married, and your partner tells you they need “x, y, z” to feel loved, and you don’t do it, over enough years, they will either divorce you, or cheat if they can….one of the two. That once every 6 month serious talk and then it goes back to being kind to each other is real, they just aren’t angry at you, so it won’t be a daily fight….just occasional when they get so frustrated with it, that it bursts out. And if they stop doing this, that discussion doesn’t happen, it’s probably because they are getting x, y, z from someone like me.

[–]mmm_try_again12345 14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Don’t pursue it. If she takes the initiative and makes it clear she’s going to cheat on him with you, tell the boyfriend and then don’t sleep with her.

Sure she might cheat with someone else, but if it’s you, you’re enabling that type of behavior. You can’t control everything women do, but you can control what type of behavior you associate yourself with. If redpill was truly pro-masculinity, they’d understand that acting honorably is one of the most important parts of being a man.

[–]Key-Selection-522 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This.
You also have to remember, if she's coming to you to cheat, she's telling you, she thinks you're a piece of shit like her. If you engage, then you proved her right and told the world you're the at kind of guy

[–]manfredoalfredo 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

and told the world you're the at kind of guy

The world couldn't care less and is not listening to the faults of any one man unless he has the status to already be famous, at which point he is given a huge pass for this sort of behavior. Most American presidents have done something at least on this level, and been rewarded with wealth and prestige for it.

So, why wouldn't you want the world to know if that's at most the way they will react to it? Nothing or a big reward.

[–]HTML_Novice 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think it means she thinks you’re a hottie

[–]manfredoalfredo 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is all it actually means - that she thinks you're hotter than her husband in some way. Simple as that.

[–]manfredoalfredo 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

acting honorably

Acting honorably means acting true to your principles regardless of the costs to yourself. No doubt you have some framework in mind that reflects your own principles when you think of honor, and no two men will have exactly identical frameworks in mind. Hence measuring honor is entirely dependent on the arbitrarily selected value system against which it is measured.

If one of your principles is getting with as many women as possible, there is no dishonor in sleeping with a married woman. Her framework is the one that includes honoring her vows, and her husband's honor framework is the one that includes protecting his marriage. If you sleep with his wife, he is dishonored.

[–]Barneysparky 9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

In my life, which has had a lot of experience I've only been that person once. And when I found out I was literally sick to my stomach for weeks thinking about the chaos I'd become entangled with, the red flags I had ignored, etc.

It was a huge growing-up moment.

I did not think, "look how hot I am compared to her", I thought I was dirt for contributing to the pain this is causing this woman, and my youth is another slap in the face. It was a horrid time.

[–]badsign12Dialectic Pill 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you got pulled in without your knowledge. It's healthy that you considered your part in it though, even if it was unintentional. That's what a grounded person does.

Take notes, OP.

[–]Key-Selection-522 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry this happened to you. But it wasn't on you. You were a victim of deception.

[–]manfredoalfredo 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Whether or not she meant to is immaterial. The person she affected cannot read her mind. She can only experience the actions. Actions are all that matter. Intent is immaterial.

Our voluntary actions are always "on" us, regardless of the knowledge we posses. Ignorance is never an excuse.

[–]localmicrodosechamp 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Weird. Id just blame my partner not some random.

[–]localmicrodosechamp 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve been the other women many times and this is how I feel. It’s gross, not a compliment.

[–]Im_The_Daiquiri_Man 8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I would ask that people take note of how every single girl ITT is playing the “I didn’t know” card where men are just owning up to the reality by saying: “yeah. I did it.”

Sure, Jan. You’re the innocent angel as always.

Now ask yourself, IRL, have you seen women willingly fuck guys they knew had gf’s? I sure as shit have. Just as much as I’ve seen men do it.

Yet on PPD, it’s all “I would never!

Think about that the next time you ask PPD women to admit anything that could remotely have a negative connotation on their virtue.

[–]localmicrodosechamp 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure it’s not at all possible that men at large lie for sex more often than women. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[–]manfredoalfredo 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It plays into the well known fact of coyness. Women are coy and thus discussions about sexuality with them will tend toward dishonesty if honesty involves admitting to sexual activity. Any activity admitted to will be edited in manner and frequency to appear less promiscuous. At its core it makes discussions about sexuality with women fundamentally untrustworthy.

So why bother?

[–]Im_The_Daiquiri_Man 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why discussion on this sub is useless more than half the time.

If the question ever boils down to: “women do you ever do something that a perfect higher being wouldn’t do?” - you will just get a 3-ring hamster circus.

[–]Barneysparky 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You believe field reports, but not women.

[–]Im_The_Daiquiri_Man 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If “field reports” means decades of relationship experience and seeing this happen to countless men that I personally know, yes. “Field reports”

I’ll trust my eyes rather than women’s words. Thanks.

[–]houstongradengineer 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Now ask yourself, IRL, have you seen women willingly fuck guys they knew had gf’s? I sure as shit have. Just as much as I’ve seen men do it.

I haven't seen anyone do this at all, male or female. There are a few guys I suspect because, God damn, if you randomly tell a stranger like me that your N count is over 50 when you're barely 25, the math doesn't look good for you.

[–]Cjaylyle 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A weird mix of ego boost and guilt, leading to some regret and some sense of achievement, but kinda numb and weird.

[–]roguish_roguePurple Pill Man 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was the messed up loser she was cheating with, does that count? I feel okay about it, was a huge confidence boost at a time when I needed it, she was in love with me for some reason.

[–]MaxarcThere is nothing outside of the text 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have been grinding on the edge three times. I don't think you need to be that archetypical "chad", or whatever, for this to happen either. I don't think I am. But I believe you're more likely to roll into it if you provide something that people are typically missing in a relationship. As a guy this probably means being emotionally intelligent. Guys that grew up with many women around know what I'm talking about.

When you got people that talk to you because you are good at listening and making them feel things, eventually there comes a point in which someone starts talking to you to fill a relationship void. Some of them will catch feelings down the line. You can only notice emotional cheating when it already happend, so pressing the brakes is always a bit too late. But I always press them.

Like O.P stated: the relationship is doomed anyway if they make moves on you, so why not go for it? My answer is simple: life is hard enough as is and I don't want to be the cause for any more damage in exchange for an ego boost. Homewrecking has done serious damage to my family when I was a kid. There's just no fucking way I'll consciously get involved with it and I learned from going too far in that edge grinding back when I was a dumb fuck. I seriously think it's bad if you feel like that's a fun activity to dip your toes in for the fuck of it. Don't post-hoc justify harmful actions -- it's going to bite you in the ass when you're older, as you'll slowly collect friends and relationships that will do the same to you. Lack of trust breeds more lack of trust. Just try and be a good person, okay? Mess around with girls that are available and be upfront about your intentions. Don't be that loser that burns shit down because others do it too. You're better and smarter than that.

[–]sootlordExtra Salty Pill 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I deff had my bad boy phase. I have zero feelings or issues sleeping with a chick that has a boyfriend.

I'm a former good boy turned so eventually really learning the dating game made me realize that for the most part is everything is fair play.

If anything it's pretty exciting when you meet a chick and then you hook up the same night. Then you find out she has a boyfriend that she most likely made him jump hoops for sex.

[–]PaleoPimp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that's horrible... Giving someone sex right away and making others jump through hoops.

[–]PinkPurpleGreenx 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah, people in relationship don’t interest me.

[–]Ambassadior 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah a few times. Typically I wasn't into it because the fact that the chick was into me despite being in a relationship turned me off. It's actually kind of sad in a way to see it. Having it happen a few time definitely contributed into resonating with RP.

[–]BrummieAMN19Dark Triad NPD PUA 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes I have quite a fair bit at times, both on online dating masquerading as an "open relationship" and in nightclubs. A lot of girls cheat during fresher's week when first starting uni. I just see it as a "it is what it is" situation and its not my relationship so therefore not my problem. So I have zero regrets and remorse for the bfs in question. In most of the situations, they told me and were resistant but I was persistent and ran game on them. I would say if you're going after taken women please learn how to fight and defend yourself cause you will get the angry bf or two coming after you.

[–]ImStillHavingFun 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have. Sometimes I knew before. Sometimes I found out later. Never had much guilt about it. Don’t have guilt about it now. The way I look at it now is that it’s simply not worth the drama. I’ve had jealous husbands /bfs come at me. I don’t like to use violence, but it’s a skill I’ve worked at since childhood. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. But why am I fighting this guy over faults in his relationship? Not my problem.

[–]PaleoPimp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean it's not you that is the problem, it's the women or man deciding to cheat and not telling his/her SO that there is something wrong with their relationship or just ending it.

[–]wejaow 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. First of all I’m not chad lol… these girls boyfriends just be super bums.

[–]chuggMachine 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Multiple times. I did it for the fun because it's so taboo. Funnily enough, 99% of those times the girl was in a relationship with someone abusive. Not saying what I did was justified but I've felt like zero guilt whatsoever.

I've also come to know that there are some women that are 100% monogamous and would not look at you twice if she's in love, and I've been lucky to have ALWAYS found these women when I'm looking to date, as is my current situation.

Lastly, monogamy is a forced concept in society. Most people are poly at some level, and you're brainwashed into believing that monogamy is the only way and you're going to hell if you stray, and I actually support it because it IS the best system. Families are wayy more stable when people are monogamous. Marriage was not supposed to be about celebrating love, it's about creating a healthy environment for the offspring.

However, that does not change the reality. The way out of this is probably just communication, and just coming in terms with what you really feel inside, not just what society dictates you.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddMen should not date virgins 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have slept with two girls (out of 24) that had BFs.

I didn't know at the time for either. One of them actually attacked me but he was kind of a skinny white boy type so it was kinda sad rather than scary. I let him slap me around a little bit before knocking him down though because I felt like I deserved it for fucking his girl. Felt like absolute shit (emotionally) for weeks. I'd never have the balls to intentionally do that, I'd feel too guilty

[–]Novadina 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have been, but not willingly, I was only told after the fact. It was only with casual sex partners, and I didn’t sleep with them again. One guy told me his girlfriend was staying abstinent until marriage, and that sex with me “cleared up” some things for him. No idea if that meant he decided to break up with her or if it meant he realized that having sex wasn’t important after all or something, lol. I just felt sorry for him and his girlfriend after that, I don’t really understand why anyone would want to marry someone without having having sex first, and this guy was pretty bad in bed and a cheater. I don’t feel anything about it now, it’s been like 20 years.

[–]Shasta_Soldier 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you know if he is actually still with her?

[–]Novadina 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have no clue, I don’t really keep up with my ONSs from two decades ago lol.

[–]melody_of_ 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes unknowingly, it hurt at the time , now I dont care and would do it again if I was single. If a woman is willing to cheat with you they are willing to cheat and will do it regardless.

I dont see the intention to and the act as being functionally different as far as the unlucky guy us concerned, either way he is with an unfaithful wife.

[–]Al-Ma_mun 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No officer you don't understand, if I didn't sell the crack somebody else would have sold the crack regardless. Either way, a fien is a fien

[–]melody_of_ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The women in question has already decided to be unfaithful, regardless of if she acts on it or not she has already made a commitment to do so at first opportunity. So the man is in the same position regardless of what I chose to do.

[–]hazysparkle 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Women don’t cheat with Chads. Women tend to cheat with men that are ”emotionally supportive”. They won’t cheat out of lust, it’s not even about sex.

Men cheat out of lust but tend to have relatively higher standards for commitment i.e. the best he can get looks wise, so studies show that men cheat on average with less attractive women that simply are willing.

It’s more likely that Chad and Stacy will cheat with Melvin and Becky or whatever it’s called.

[–]SouthernGrass3 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it’s brad, but I like Melvin a lot better.

[–]hazysparkle 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I thought Brad was the ”slightly less attractive than Chad”, whereas Melvin is average guy.

[–]SouthernGrass3 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh, I’m behind then. How embarrassing. Ever since I concussed myself falling off the CC, I just can’t keep track of things like I used to.

[–]PlayfulLawyerNo Pill 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The only time I've ever knowingly been the other man, I was in my mid-twenties and it was a co-worker, now I didn't know she was married when we started, however I didn't quuuite put a stop to it when I did find out lol, but after we did stop fooling around , I eventually met her husband a couple times oh, nice guy but definitely the personification of what we call beta bucks, so I'm guessing I was the AF lol

[–]Pastelitomaracucho 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep. Been that guy. Married women, engaged women, women who literally asked her boyfriend to drop them at my location with the guy having no clue of what was going on.

My feelings are that healthy, happy relationships are fragile. Keep one of the partners unhappy and they are going to cheat eventually.

I don't feel bad about the guys.

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There’s NO BETTER GUY TO BE than THAT guy. I’ve experienced it and loved it every time. NSA sex, fun times, no hassle or emotional baggage, none of that. You just get the best of what she has to offer.

Good times

[–]ViolentTakeByForce 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Take my advice, like most things there are more risks for men. There are plenty of single women out there if you have the options you say you do, avoid it as best as possible.

[–]TermAggravating8043 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’d love to be a fly on the wall when you ‘present’ yourself to this “Stacy” you believe will always cheat because it’s in her nature.

[–]manfredoalfredo 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're going to be shell shocked when you see the science on infidelity.

[–]TermAggravating8043 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m not doubting people cheat, I’m laughing that soo many guys here think a hot girl will automatically cheat with the next good looking guy that comes along

[–]hazysparkle -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah why would a woman with options cheat more likely…

[–]wtknight 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A woman who I knew had a boyfriend tried to cheat with me once, but I wouldn’t let her. I remember thinking that I wouldn’t want to be in her boyfriend’s place.

Men who let themselves be the guy who women cheat with have no honor, although if he has no idea that she’s cheating then that can’t really be avoided.

[–]Selkie-Princess 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never been the other woman but I get flirted with constantly by married men and when they cross a definitive line I always contact the wife and tell her what’s up because that’s what I’d want. About half the time the wife is grateful or at least polite. The other half of the wives have been FURIOUS WITH ME IMMEDIATELY. I mean like RAGING that I had obviously tried to steal their man and it was MY fault for tempting him…I mean some of these women have gone BONKERS off the rails and kind of scared me and thats in a scenario where I did not ever let their disgusting cheater husbands lay a hand on me….so I can’t imagine how murdered I would get if I was a habitual other woman

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[–]calfshrug 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve been a rebound for at least one chick, possibly more. One of them - the first - I tried to go further with (FWB and deep personal convos), but got heartbroken. I don’t see anything reason to postulate that I’ve ever been the “mister” to a woman, but I reckon it’s possible, as one lady went by more than one name

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was with one girl who claimed her boyfriend and her broke up, but then claimed they were “back to talking” but not back together “yet” and so it would still be ok. And I was like “nope, this doesn’t feel right.” And later found out they were always together, she just cheated when she was mad.
As for being the “Chad?” In that situation Hahahaha! Ah, no.

[–]Gravel_RoadsJust a Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I almost was. I picked him up for our date, and the first he did was lay his hands on my dashboard and announce "I have a confession to make..." Went on say he had a girlfriend, and still seemed to hope I would continue with the date - I told him I'd be his friend (I'd just moved to the city and was trying to branch out socially), but I didn't date people who cheated.

At the restaurant, he got a call FROM his girlfriend and I told him he may as well take it and tell her where he was. He took the phone call outside, and while he was away, his food arrived. I ate his entire dinner and left the restaurant before he came back.

It's funnier because I'm a dude, so he was also gay-cheating on her lol. They broke up not long after and I ended up dating one of his friends.

[–]KingWhoCared86 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sadly I was. I felt awful because I actually had feelings for her and when I found out I was a side guy I got very upset. So bad that I have not been with another woman in almost 8 years. I developed some major trust issues.

[–]mcove97No Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Guess I was the Stacy a few weeks ago. Went out to the club with a friend. On the night buss on the way back home from the club we met a guy we knew from uni. He invited me to an after party, but turned out to be only me and a friend of his. We drank some beers and he offered some weed. High and drunk I ended up having sex with the guy after his friend left. I sent a text message to my friend I was hooking up with this guy while she was hooking up with her fuckbuddy. Turns out, her fuckbuddy is a friend or his, so he told her the guy I hooked up with had a girlfriend. My friend told me the day after... So yeah. I didn't intend to be "that" person. I just didn't know he had a girlfriend. Did hear some rumor that he wasn't that serious with his girlfriend but yeah Idk what to make of it. I'm not the one who fucked up and cheated, so I don't feel bad. Kinda douche move if he cheated on his GF with me though. Had I known I wouldn't have slept with him.

Bonus point: I choked and puked my guts out all over his dick when he asked me to do oral. Karma lmfao.

[–]SmilesRHere 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t really get the question you’re asking. Do I regret having affairs with married or partnered women? am I afraid of my wife doing the same etc? If so, no regrets and perfectly ok with my wife having a fling, a fuck buddy or a friend with benefits as long as she’s ok for me to have the same.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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