Men: can you explain why women liking “Chad” is such a shock?

wtknight · 2020-02-20T19:04:09+00:00

It’s shocking because when Chad is not available men expect women to still be at least somewhat attracted to an average guy, just like when Stacey isn’t available to men, men become sexually attracted to plain Becky. Many men do not comprehend the pickiness of women because they are not that picky themselves.

Thinkingard · 2020-02-20T20:51:54+00:00

I'm trying to think if I ever was shocked by this. Most young guys know they are not Chad. A lot of them struggle with merely approaching and talking to girls. Because of their lack of experience, they build up in their mind this ideal picture of what girls are like. A lot of young guys, even the smart ones, are reprehensibly stupid and will ignore direct evidence because of their pride. So, what shocks them, eventually, is that women are not better, or more moral, than they are. A lot of guys, because of their fear to approach, think that once they finally do approach, they will somehow be accepted and live happily ever after, which a lot of movies portray, with the nerdy/goofy guy getting the girl.

Most guys need more experience with girls and to see how girls talk about guys and what they text about guys. It should be more obvious today, but 20 years ago, when I was young, you could be highly insulated from the opposite sex if you didn't have a sister. A lot of guys also try to be like a prince charming, except it comes off as creepy because the guy isn't attractive. It doesn't help if his mother has always described him as manly and handsome but no other female ever has. Guys try to white knight because they hear so much about what jerks Chad are, and the guy thinks he can nice his way into her pants. He becomes sycophantic, thinking this is a good strategy. He becomes unbearably nice because he can't stand to see a girl hurt, and he hopelessly wonders why girls don't choose the stable, good guy.

So, well I don't know whether or not any guy is shocked by women finding Chad attractive, what they are really dismayed by is the realization that they cannot be a Chad unless they change, and change is hard. The shock is realizing how much they aren't Chad and that they are unattractive. That's why RP tells guys to lift, because it's almost always the only way they can increase their attractiveness.

ifelsedowhile · 2020-02-20T20:07:40+00:00

Men are attracted to normal women but women are not quite as much attracted to normal men.

LyraoftheArctic · 2020-02-20T18:59:54+00:00

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spletharg · 2020-02-20T21:31:20+00:00

And don't forget guys, if you become a dad one day, and if you have a daughter, ironically, you'll probably tell her she deserves the best, and to not settle when she starts dating, because you want her (and her kids) to have the best life. And you'll probably judge the guys she dates by the same standards you currently resent. Just sayin. Probably. I'm a guy BTW, if that affects your opinions. And she'll probably make her own interpretation of your concerns and instructions as well.

SunflowerBurst · 2020-02-20T18:44:12+00:00

The fact that they like Chad is not a shock, the fact that they like Chad to the exclusion of Billy Beta is a shock. Billy would prefer to fuck Stacy but will happily date, and fuck, Becky. Sadly, Becky only has eyes for Chad (until the wall hits).

NockerJoe · 2020-02-20T17:53:48+00:00

Because when you don't want to fuck Chad you see him for who he actually is.

I have a few conventionally attractive friends. They're the least charismatic most boring motherfuckers I know. They don't know what events and venues go on around them besides maybe the ones its easy to get laid at like a local meat market. They don't have many hobbies in a lot of cases besides working out and stuff you can do while working out like listening to podcasts. Hell a couple of them basically speak in monotone, since they never really had to be good with their voices.

I work in the film industry. Obviously those hot people are talented and interesting to a greater degree. Most of them are super nice too. But those people are few and far between and the indie scene is just as filled with hot idiots as the local coffee houses because every 8 thinks they can be a star with no skills or personality since some orbiter told them so.

If you accept looks and money make up as big a part of the pie as they do you have to come to the conclusion that things like personality and morals don't. Which speaks poorly on you and everyone else who makes that call , including the men. At the end of the day people probably just think too highly of you people.

Iamnotelephant · 2020-02-20T21:15:15+00:00

50 shades of grey would be an entirely different scenario if he was poor. Jeff Bezos would have access to a much uglier pool of women without the cash.

2020-02-21T01:13:09+00:00

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weag5l · 2020-02-20T19:52:54+00:00

Men who say this make the classic mistake of believing what women say, instead of watching what they do.

ohheyhi99 · 2020-02-20T19:21:04+00:00

Almost no man is surprised that women like good-looking men.

On the other hand, many men have been surprised to learn that most women prize looks in the same mostly unholistic manner which is frequently attributed to men as evidence that we are a stupid, shallow, and cruel sex.

For the record, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with women liking good-looking men.

sadomasochrist · 2020-02-20T17:57:21+00:00

This is handled by a simple thought experiment.

Take an agreeable, egalitarian SMV5 man and give him an SMV5 woman, tell him to go to work and don't slap her around and she'll love you forever. Most men would take this deal.

Most women would divorce this man or cheat on him.

The shock for men is that it is better for him to be a degenerate chad-lite than to be an agreeable man who "treats women as equals."

Men have trouble with this because they have wide arousal windows. They can form these types of agreements in their head because they do not understand how fickle female arousal is.

They don't realize how much more potent hyper masculine behavior is than being "harmless."

Put it this way. Almost no one in their life said "hey, just treat women in a way you wouldn't want to be treated, they'll go crazy over that."

The men who had other men in their lives that told them that were lucky. The ones who didn't ended up at TRP if they don't have the right role models in their life.

Women are ultimately counterintuitive. Men need other men who understand women, who are sexually successful with them to pass this knowledge to them. Or else they get into bad feedback loops which focus on male morality.

And as well all know here, women don't give 1 single shit about this stuff. It's a cherry on top, or a last order consideration when men are trained this is a first order consideration.

It's part of male value systems. Honor, loyalty etc. This stuff was bred on the battle field. Women don't have these value systems, the ones who survived more often were the ones that embraced the conquering army with open legs.

agaribay1010 · 2020-02-21T11:18:59+00:00

What I don’t get is how they will also say that overweight or obese women can’t possibly be beautiful because it goes against evolution and biology but get mad when girls don’t like them for being unattractive...

Emervila · 2020-02-20T18:08:40+00:00

It's no shock at all, if any, the shocking is the female lack of agency when in their 30s beta bucks rejects them. We all men know you girls love Chad to the sky and he is your god, just don't come after avg men in your 30s to have a family, go back and stay with your god forever.

Not all women worship Chad, thou. Some want content and meaning for an LTR, just don't try to fake you are one of those when you hit the wall, we're not buying such lie.

yuckyuck13 · 2020-02-20T19:37:27+00:00

I'm only shocked when a "Chad" who's known to be a terrible person is selected.

John_Magnus · 2020-02-20T21:38:57+00:00

I didn't need PPD to know that people want attractive partners. Considering I have never had much success with women, so I already know they prefer someone attractive. Also secondary (high) school and college is enlightening. Plus having an online "relationship" with someone obsessed about how Shawn Mendes once flirted with her in passing through a crowd three years ago is enlightening too.

SherbertBacon · 2020-02-20T20:07:48+00:00

I'm gonna play devil's advocate for a moment.

All princess movies star a handsome prince.... Romance movies usually involve...

Most guys didn't watch princess or romance movies. They watched Die Hard and Happy Gilmore, movies where the emphasis was on the quirky but lovable fairly(?) average-looking dude who gets the girl because he's a good guy fighting for the cause. If there was infidelity or losing the girl in the movies, it was never because the other guy was more handsome or charming (often he was a goofball buffoon, like in Liar Liar), and by the end the woman almost always comes back, or the guy "upgrades."

The phrase “tall, dark and handsome” has been around for ~~DECADES~~ CENTURIES to describe what women desire in a man.

Gaston was "tall, dark, and handsome," and also the villain. The inverse fantasy in movies boys watched was that tall + dark + handsome + tool meant the guy still lost the girl to the "good guy" protagonist who didn't necessarily have all these features in spades (Ironically I think this is still mostly true, but bear with me on Devil's Advocate for a moment).

How can one be blind to this?

Different cultural messages. Boys grew up thinking "just be yourself" and "looks don't matter, only personality does" was the ticket to love through and through, without realizing the protagonists of their movies did heaps of inner and outer work to be strong, confident, attractive characters.

One day they look around and see many of the women they've crushed on dating the "Gastons" of the world and not them, and do a full invert—now assuming that any and all women must love the Machiavellian douchebag hot guy.

BothWaysItGoes · 2020-02-20T21:12:57+00:00

How could SO many of you not have known this?

Imagine being raised by a single mother, or that father is working 70hrs/wk and doesn't spend much time around kids. Imagine going to school where 95% of your teachers are women. Imagine spending your free time watching TV series written by urban liberal progressives.

Of course they get the idea that women prefer handsome men over ugly men and rich men over poor men. But they get bombared with messages that good personality, being nice to women, manners are infinitely more important than any of that.

DangZagnut · 2020-02-20T17:54:12+00:00

Beats me. Ugly people just can't stay in their lane. It's as dumb as a woman embracing feminism and thinking they can work 60 hour weeks to be CEO and still have a loving family and raise their children.

It's just BS that common sense would tell you is impossible. Like winning the lottery as a retirement option.

The only issue is the "lying" thing, which I can get in some subcultures. What men are lied to about is that women's nature isn't the way it is. They aren't fed a Disney fantasy per se but since women are protected from any criticism, then boys grow up thinking sugar and spice and everything nice and not how women actually can be or how they actually are.

They're told that if they act beta enough, then a girl going through her peak sexuality is going to be interested, when she won't. So then he goes PUA or some dumb shit, and tries to fake-alpha during her relationship phase and fails that way, therefore he feels lied to, when really he's just behind the curve of reality.

Logic over emotions saves lives.

majani · 2020-02-20T18:57:37+00:00

It's shocking that it's the only real attraction factor. Men get told that looks don't matter that much for women, you can do other things like get money and be nice to attract them. Fucking bullshit, all of it.

HollowLegMonk · 2020-02-20T22:19:06+00:00

The main character from 50 shades of grey is a hardcore misogynist. Woman say that a man being a misogynist is bad and not what they want.

That’s what I think is part of the confusion.

My mom is a boomer and the one character she has always thought was the sexiest was Sean Conery’s version of James Bond. She doesn’t even like action films but her and her girlfriends used to go to the theater and pay money just to see him on the big screen. Obviously he gave them what some around here refer to as the tingles. For anyone unfamiliar with Ian Fleming’s James Bond character, he by the definition that most modern feminists would have, would be a text book misogynist. He saw women mostly as sex objects and thought that woman were less than men. He would just use woman for sex and leave them when he got what he wanted. He was basically a spy version of Hugh Hefner. Recently I asked my mom who considers herself to be a feminist why she liked James Bond so much if he was such a misogynist and was essentially a feminist’s worst nightmare. She told me even if a woman won’t admit it, a lot of women find the playboy(a boomer word for player, which is a gen x word for chad) archetype sexy regardless of the misogyny. I appreciated her honesty.

ImNotHereForFunNoWay · 2020-02-21T10:05:57+00:00

It's not particularly shocking when u step back and think about it - but men are told from a young age that if you listen, are sensitive, romantic and bend over backwards to show a woman you care - she'll fall for you. This is reinforced by mothers/sisters, women in general, the media and stories (think of 90% of romantic films).

So when boys and men try and do as theyre told and then, despite their best/consistent efforts, see the girls they love chasing after bad boys and muscular meatheads who don't give them the time of day - they get resentful and talk about it online (which has made it the meme it is today).

The advent of the manosphere has also spread the idea of alpha fux and beta bux - which has only strengthened this idea. 'She'll never fancy you if youre not 'Chad' but will settle for you at 32...'It's just the way it is.... (im not judging) and when u look with an evolutionary lens it's fairly inevitable that women will fancy big muscular/high-status men.

I think the point is more that: a lot of men feel a little betrayed. Girls/women are consistently portrayed as sensitive/empathetic and soft creatures who just want to be loved and looked after - so when this truth comes out it can be a shock. it's something like that anyway..PS hate the word 'Chad' - meme nonsense.

i_amtheice · 2020-02-20T19:27:11+00:00

It's not a shock. What's a shock is that non-Chads don't have much of a shot at all despite pop culture telling them, "There's someone for everyone" because it keeps the economy running. It was still somewhat true when we (Millennials and some older zoomers) were kids, so we had to adapt to the SMP getting rearranged thanks to the pill and social media as it was happening. That's where the dissonance and the bitterness come from.

I am so glad I'm single and childless as I approach my mid-30's. It gets lonely sometimes, but I can see more naked women in an hour than my great-grandfather did in his entire life. Keep perspective and work on yourself, find your goals and pursue them. You will be fine.

realArthurFleck · 2020-02-20T22:46:36+00:00

It's not shocking, but it really undermines the whole "gender equality" thing. Our entire society is based on the lie that boys and girls can and should grow up to have the same social experience. For example, it is treated like a bad thing when men make more money on average, even though every female wants and expects to marry a man who makes more money than her, and won't respect you if you don't. When boys realize that sexual attraction and value doesn't go both ways equally, and that girls get to experience relationships easily while they are alone, there is a deep sense of betrayal. There wouldn't be so much bitterness over Chad and the reality of female choosiness if it wasn't fervently denied and ignored at every level of our society. In earlier times, this would be a known fact, but we are gaslight from birth into accepting feminist premises as normative, and these unfortunately come into conflict with the reality of the male experience.

CMOAN_MAYNE · 2020-02-20T21:08:33+00:00

No one is surprised that humans prefer attractive humans.

The argument is that hard 5’s should stop thinking they’re entitled to professional athletes.

PierceTheEye · 2020-02-20T21:16:48+00:00

"It’s so difficult to sympathize with redpilled/blackpilled dudes for one reason: how on earth is it some shocking, devastating, groundbreaking revelation that women are attracted to attractive men?! How is this extraordinarily logical fact a huge enough deal to form a whole philosophy on? How could SO many of you not have known this?"

Societal conditioning and lying about reality. Men are told that if they just "be themselves" it's going to be ok and that women like "nice guys". It takes time to learn the Truth and it's often a process of grieving.
Accepting reality ((80/20 rule, alpha fucks beta bucks) is harsh and takes time. Most men want to have a relationship and a family. It's a long process of grief to accept that perhaps you will never have that because of your genes. Imagine being a women who's in their 80s and invisible and undesirable to most people whole your life.
Sexual drive is the strongest drive human beings have. It's painful to be bombarded with urges and needs you may never be able to satisfy with another human being.

Wallstreet3 · 2020-02-20T18:04:42+00:00

The shock is in the duplicity, the double standard. There you are on Facebook, posting all these things about romance, dating and all that shit. You want flowers, you want to be adored. You want to hold off on sex till you get to know a man. But 5 minutes after meeting Chad you are letting him throat fuck you. And you will find a way to hamster it, it doesnt really matter how so long as you wipe your hands of it and his cum.

And it doesnt matter so long as your Gina tingles. Drug addict, oh my God he is such a badboy.

But then it all goes south. And you vent on Facebook and all this shit. Then the epiphany hits and you are a born again virgin posting on FDS.

But you are an alpha widow, and it has effected you so bad that you packed on 'a few extra pounds' and all your dating profile pics are shot from above or closely cropped to hide the fact that you are a fat, disgusting cow.

And you have one or two kids from this attractive guy. Who was widening your throat 5 minutes after meeting you.

And you are talking to guys online, trying to find some poor Schlub to pay for your cock-carousel life. And you 'explain' how it all happened and conveniently it is never your fault!

And you find some guy to pay for Chad's kids because Chad cant afford it because methamphetamine is a hell of a drug and Opanas are about 100 bucks a pop! Chad has his priorities you know!

And heaven forbid if this poor Schlub gets his act together and starts plowing his secretary because marriage vows mean so much to you! But in truth, you said you make all men wait for sex but Chad gave you face babies that night in the club.

luv_sosa · 2020-02-20T18:10:55+00:00

Because before the advent of social media, online dating, and the incessant simping that came along with all of that, being conventionally attractive was never a rigid requirement like it is now. 10 years ago, if you were single, you'd have to be actively trying not to date your looksmatch; being perpetually alone was a rarity reserved for extremely ugly or extremely avoidant people.

emperatrizyuiza · 2020-02-20T17:45:07+00:00

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Million-Suns · 2020-02-20T17:56:23+00:00

It's only a shock for guys who just swallowed the blackpill. Society tells you that the woman for you is out there, just wait for her. So you work hard, study, try to be successful.

Meanwhile the "woman for you" is in a frat house getting dicked down by a different frat bro every weekend and partying.

She's not interested in you while you're young, she only becomes interested when she finds out none of those frat bros are actually ever going to settle down with her. So at 30-35 here she comes. You're starved for attention so you latch onto her. She meanwhile doesn't find you attractive at all, is just using you for money and sperm (if you're lucky-she could always just cheat and convince you the pregnancy is yours).

Then years of dead bedroom and a messy divorce where you lose your house, access to your kid, and all your disposable income.

There is no woman out there for you. If you aren't attractive enough you're destined to get the used up leftovers of better looking guys. It's a tough pill to swallow and some guys become angry when they realize it.

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2020-02-20T18:42:29+00:00

Nobody is shocked that women like Chad any more than they're shocked that men like Stacy.

But most people are not educated on female sexuality, hypergamy, Bateman's principle, the true importance of looks etc. The true worthlessness of men who are average and below in the eyes of female sexuality is not common knowledge. The percentage of male/female relationships that are most likely just beta-bucks relationships and not true-love, is not common knowledge.

I think the "I was lied to" sentiment in red/black pill communities is a bit over the top. But generally speaking, normies are blue-pilled. For example, if you showed a random selection of people this chart, most would find it surprising. Even the women on this forum can't come to a consensus on whether the average man is 'doing just fine' or is completely devoid of sex appeal.

-Mavs · 2020-02-20T18:34:03+00:00

"shocking"?

Hardly.

The problem is society and WOMEN like to perpetuate that looks don't matter as much to women and that women are the "fairer sex".

fredthebetty · 2020-02-20T21:00:22+00:00

It’s hard to not be shocked at the amount of influence often times toxic cultural norms have over the masses... without knowledge we will always be victims of circumstance.

Schools don’t teach us real logic and critical thinking so many people are never able gain full control of their faculties... there is no real chance of autonomy for majority of the population.

These cycles are self-reinforcing... Agnotolgy is the study of this spread of mass, cultural ignorance.

JewelM419 · 2020-02-20T22:43:20+00:00

Men are less picky than women, at least attraction wise. However, attraction is more important to men than women. Men just fail to understand one or both of these things.

Mescalean · 2020-02-21T00:09:31+00:00

Its not. Its why I go to the gym almost 5 days a week and have learned to take advantage of my “genetic potential”.

Its no shock women are “shallow” because I am. I like a small waist with a fat ass B cups tits and a simp. Why should I be surprised if a woman of good caliber wants a masculine guy with an assertive attitude and arms thicker than most betas legs.

Zero shock or regret here. My regret is not being told the truth BY WOMEN.

To the other men, if you can’t handle the game take your ball and go home. Leave some playtime for those who want it instead of clogging the system.

Xemnas81 · 2020-02-21T02:33:43+00:00

Hold up, why if you're a woman were you posting about AFBB in MGTOW 9 months ago?

ToughCelery · 2020-02-21T10:31:14+00:00

I think it's just that men are more often told lies like 'women don't care about looks. They only care about 'confidence' and how you 'make them feel' ' etc etc lol

Whereas girls aren't really fed that bullshit. They aren't being told 'men don't care if you're fat and ugly. Just have 'game'' or whatever lol. They know men want pretty girls.

But yeah, it's so funny how anyone would be shocked that girls are just the same as men. They are attracted to good looks. Just like we are. And it's a million times more important than anything else ('game' or whatever) when it comes to sexual attraction

abaxeron · 2020-02-20T22:47:55+00:00

Obviously being female I’m biased

Useless fact: I misread it as "blessed" the first time.

Take this post to your beta orbiters, and tell them you don't find them attractive. Every second you don't do it - is feeding them lie that you like them despite their unattractive appearance.

2020-02-20T20:16:34+00:00

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87AudreyHorne · 2020-02-20T18:12:13+00:00

Although I overall agree with you about this being obvious, I think movies/stories arent really that direct. The girl in question is always without a doubt attractive but the male hero is often presented as some average looking goofy guy. It's also common that the girl is dating a very generalically attractive guy who is completely unlikable while the hero is so much more likable and endearing both to the viewer and to the hot girl who finally ends up with him.

If you believe that watching a few movie stereotypes is taking lessons in how obvious reality works...ok.

disayle32 · 2020-02-20T20:12:16+00:00

Because women, society, and many other men lie to us about it from the beginning. Next question.

Sophiatab · 2020-02-20T21:30:34+00:00

Chad is a cope used by assholes who think they're nice but really aren't. Chad is anyone who actually treats women like they're people and not sex objects or demons.

the_calibre_cat · 2020-02-20T21:54:36+00:00

Go to Facebook or social media or Tinder or even fucking here - Nine times out of ten, you'll get women waxing poetic about how good people get romantic attention, how they need a deep and sensitive personality, how they need a man to sweep her off her feet...

...aaaaand it's all bullshit, all of the above except one that is conspicuously both left unstated and shamed in men: A good looking partner.

Men aren't blowing smoke up your collective ass that they want hot girls, that's why y'all regularly call them "pigs" over it. But you guys? Will regularly call "shallow" what you all regularly select for.

Some of us took the "women are actually better people" and "women want sensitive, romantic, interesting guys with personalities" shit to heart, which was stupid - because it turns out they want hot guys who have otherwise something else going for them. It is by far the oldest and most widespread form of virtue signaling - "I'm not like those shallow men, I go for personality and charm and intellect!"

Fucking bullshit, dude, and we probably all believed it until the internet happened.

Psych0_W0lf · 2020-02-20T20:17:31+00:00

Attraction towards attractive dude isn't a shock BUT

Attraction towards high Dark triad personality is ....... I guess.

maxtorrz · 2020-02-20T23:05:03+00:00

It has more to do with our culture teaching young men that being the "nice guy" that is solid and provides is all it takes to land the woman of your dreams. Young men just like young women are lied to and figure out the "truth" through trial and error and get angry. And the truth is human mating reveals how instinctive and animalistic we all really are. Hot people are hot. Average people will have their hearts broken. Get over it.

2020-02-20T23:11:30+00:00

It's not that they like chad, it's that they ONLY like chad and would rather end up alone than with an average man if they can't be with chad.

Five_Decades · 2020-02-20T23:13:10+00:00

I think part of it is that women judges men's value in the SMP by a wider range of criteria.

Men mostly just value a woman's fertility/attractiveness as well as how fit she is to be a mother/wife (for LTRs at least. For short term mating men use different criteria).

Women judge men for a wider range of criteria. Attractiveness yes but also ability to obtain resources, willingness to share resources with family, ability to protect his wife and family, willingness to not abandon family as well as being a good husband/father.

So I guess men figure since women have this longer laundry list of traits that its kind of shocking that woman can act like men and only evaluate mates based on looks alone.

FWIW, I've heard from people in asia where poverty is rampant that women value resources more than looks, while in the west they seem to value looks more than resources.

Gawernator · 2020-02-20T23:32:46+00:00

Because how “Chad” acts in real life is drastically different than Disney movie romance. Movie romance is super fake. Nobody doesn’t understand physical hotness. Lmao you totally missed the point

12112019 · 2020-02-21T02:38:26+00:00

It is no shock, you are correct, the real shock was understanding to what extent women are less physically attracted to men on average than vise versa.

Daffan · 2020-02-21T06:22:59+00:00

Because Chad is usually shown/is as an asshole and growing up women (parental figures included) say they like good men not assholes.

All princess movies star a handsome prince

And to even further my point. This prince is usually charming (literally Prince Charming) and extremely nice, no standard negative Chad qualities.

lolmemexd11 · 2020-02-21T06:35:16+00:00

I feel like looks are only the opener. Past that its all personality right?

I mean I have a friend at work who is by far not the best looking man but he's funny, nerdy in the right kind of way and doesn't seem weird at all and he's been with several women over the past few months.

Its all about being ok with who you are and meeting like minded people.

RedPillMissionary · 2020-02-21T06:45:31+00:00

Because our mothers and grandmothers told us that women just want a man who loves them and treats them right. It was bullshit

King_Loser27 · 2020-02-20T20:15:11+00:00

It's not shocking. Just don't fucking lie about it and be up front. Also, give what you expect from people. No fat chick can expect Chad. That's retarded

spletharg · 2020-02-20T21:57:35+00:00

Smart guys and girls know to avoid the most attractive people anyway since their lives tend to be in the centre of a drama tornado from everyone trying to fuck them/ get favours from them/ orbit them/ protect them/ wanting to be them/ wanting to destroy them/ jealous of them and so on. If you're a guy, just find ways to have fun, try to be fit, try to dress well, don't get obsessed over trying to get with a woman, but still find social things to do where women will be and the odds are high you'll meet a woman. And at that point you should still be cautious and selective rather than thirsty for the sake of your long term mental health. And be honest and unembarassed if you think you lack experience or anything else. Never feel embarassed to be frank about who you are. If she judges you harshly for being honest, she's more trouble than she's worth. Putting your cards on the table is the best way to find someone compatible. A LTR built on falsehoods is not going to last, and will just mess up everybody involved.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2020-02-20T22:32:48+00:00

It's not shocking to us at all. Hypergamy makes sense. What's shocking to us is the degree of it. Women only want the top 10-20% of men whereas men are open to at least 50% of women. So, there's a huge disconnect that, coupled with runaway Feminism and a culture that hates men, makes us take a step back and adjust our assumptions about life, the universe and everything.

bonusfruit · 2020-02-20T22:44:27+00:00

Because. They. Are. Lied. To. I think at a certain point a topic should be deemed answered.

stentorian46 · 2020-02-21T01:58:49+00:00

Yeah I agree, it's a farce. Thes incels or whatever they are could almost certainly get laid if they just lowered THEIR standards. The men who whine on in this way often fixate on the one wildly unattainable woman for literally years. And when they can no longer stalk her around high school and university, they watch even MORE porn and hang out in strip clubs like fools until they die. Actually I think most of the (non) fuckers are probably closet gay. Straight men ain't so fussy about who they boof.

RandomAttackHelpMe · 2020-02-20T21:01:43+00:00

Because no one told them this, that is why. They said just be yourself, you are fine, there is someone for everyone, equality, fairness, etc. I'm trying to be as non-shallow about this as I can, I have eyes, but I personally try to not go that direction right off the bat.

That mixed with a good few decades of "equality for women and blaming the patriarchy and therefore, all men ever, except for those who tow the liberal sjw feminist line right?" DECADES of that shit, and dudes have had enough.

Also, ye old non-stop issue of "My bf/fwb/husband is an asshole who treats me like shit etc, why can't I meet or be with someone like you?" And before you pull the entitlement card argument, I have dealt with grown ass adults who should by all means, should know better, have the spoiled/entitled prince/princess problem. You really need to stop pushing the idea that it's solely these "angray lonelay dewdz who totes needz tah drop thah tahxic male muhsogynee and like totez getz with thah feminimistiz!!!!!!!!" This stuff is cyclical/social environment influence stuff, not just limited to said angry lonely dudes. Also, I don't think it's a fair comparison to belittle lonely dudes looking for love, plus the moral outlook and approach to things, I said moral outlook, not white knight savior cuck symp shit, and entitled spoiled adults who are appeased all the time. This is what happens when you have people who are "too dominant".

Plus Disney comparisons? Really? Fucking Really? Are you fucking kidding me? How old are you? If you base your expectations for real people off of a fucking disney movie, you're a fucking idiot. Holy shit,I never thought I'd say this, but I actually agree with the crazy radical feminists on the disney shit and unrealistic expectations.

So no wonder dudes turn to red pill/mra/mgtow. I don't see eye to eye with them on everything, but I get it. You didn't want to work with these guys, so they went to people who did and who appreciated them. And it has turned into power, you know it has. so yeah, you have reaped what you sowed.

Million-Suns · 2020-02-20T18:31:27+00:00

Because you lied and still lie about it.

You tell your sons that they should have a good personality and be nice.

The reason why the red pill and black pill exist to begin with, is to undo that brainwashing starting at early ages, and the process is painful. That's what the reality is shocking at first. But at first only.

Now with that knowledge, either those grown up sons work hard to try to keep up with chads, or they give up altogether.

E- Ok someone is on a downvote spree I see.

2020-02-20T22:04:53+00:00

It’s not the liking chad that upsets people. It’s the throwing away any all all inhibitions to get with him.

She makes you wait a month for sex after multiple dates. Meanwhile he matches her on tinder and has her at his place in minutes

I see where they are coming from

statsfodder · 2020-02-20T22:40:34+00:00

You must be new here..

Men aren't surprised that women want chad. Men are surprised that women can't be honest about it. "I prefer dad bod" - bullshit. "I prefer nice guys" - bullshit. "Just be yourself" - bullshit. "I don't like guys with muscles" - bullshit. Red pill/black pill are sick of being pissed on and being told it is rain.

ElGupo1978 · 2020-02-21T00:38:44+00:00

The shocking part is the extent to which women are just like men when it comes to Chad. The so called red pill rage comes from realizing to extent to which women’s blue pill lies have misguided your steps. All our lives women have been telling us that they need a commitment to enjoy sex they need a relationship they need a connection etc etc ... but it turns out they don’t need any such thing from Chad , you’re the beta simp that has to pay for dates.

It’s not that women are more attracted to the hot guys it’s that none of the rules apply to him. Chad stole money from you ! Chad screwed your best friend. Chad left you with a baby. Chad knocks you upside the head when you get out of line. All the while you’ve nothing but contempt for the guy who has earn your affection

Eastuss · 2020-02-21T10:09:43+00:00

What's normal to do: Admitting you are attracted by Chads and not go for them because you're not pretentious and know they can take advantage of having the upper hand in the relationship.

What women do: Deny they're attracted by Chads, pretend Chads are just average, and getting rejected, pump and dumped or abused by them nonetheless and complain about it.

That's what annoys men.

whatagainst · 2020-02-21T13:27:01+00:00

FFS women have been saying the opposite for years, they've always been attracted to hot guys, but now with open hypergamy they, like you, are saying it outright

Maxfunky · 2020-02-21T15:04:54+00:00

I'm not a redpiller by any means, but even I recognize that the Chads of the world stand at odds with the values women claim to prize. Chad is handsome, but he's also a jerk. He's self-assured, but also cocky and vain. Chad spends more time thinking about himself than you. He's not particularly smart, funny or interesting. He lives in a bubble--having recieved special treatment all his life, he's light on empathy and doesn't understand that other people have a more difficult path to walk in life than he has had. He spent his high school days, on the Football team, pushing other kids into lockers for being "dweebs". In short, he's kind of a douche.

He's a schoolgirl crush when you should be, as you say you are, looking for so much more than just a pretty face. You're supposed to be a mature woman who has learned that there aren't enough pretty faces to go around and that a whole lot of them are attached to people who don't represent the best of humanity.

But, nope, you just really think he's dreamy and can't see past the little cartoon hearts coming out of your eyes to see what a jerk Chad is. A year later you're chatting with your friends and wondering out loud how you always end up with assholes.

Oh sure, guys do stupid things when they think with their dicks, too. But somehow we just kinda figured you were better than that, mostly because you keep telling us you are.

bluefiremagic · 2020-02-20T17:49:46+00:00

Its not shock at all. What is shocking is so many deny this fact it true most women can about looks but unlike you they like to be denial that is what frustrates men. You are redpilled most women arent.

MuleFool42 · 2020-02-20T18:05:47+00:00

Can you explain why you think it's 'shocking'? I really don't understand why you think this. Women like good looking men because women are attracted to good looking men. This is just not shocking. The premise for this question is false, IMO.

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RetiredTHOT · 2020-02-20T20:30:43+00:00

I read this as licking and was confused...

Smithersink · 2020-02-20T22:22:57+00:00

I think this is a good point, and I think it’s dumb how people make “the red pill” and “the black pill” this whole big thing when it’s just common sense. I’m not red pill or black pill but I am a man and I’m pretty familiar with these ideologies. I think that why the terms “black pill” and “red pill”—which suggest this is some secret essential knowledge about the world—have come into existence is not because it’s surprising, but because feminism/the media seems to only really focus on unrealistic beauty standards for women and not for men. Really, everyone experiences unrealistic expectations, in fact men probably judge women’s bodies more than women judge men’s, but it’s very different; men are probably held to a higher standard when it comes to character, skills, and socio-economic status, and women of course are probably also more selective, which again, is just common sense. The reason the red pill and black pill are mystified isn’t because the people who follow the ideology think it’s surprising knowledge, but because it isn’t perceived as something everyone agrees with. Of course, both ideologies hold a lot more than just the idea that women are selective. Both seem to be generally secular and anti-feminist, and a lot of the incels specifically hold male chauvinist or male supremacist views. So, while most people would agree that women are selective with who they have sex with, most people do not agree with all the tenets of red pill or black pill.

A-Merks-ican · 2020-02-21T00:03:31+00:00

Because physical attraction is only a portion of what makes women googoo.

Physical attraction is most of what makes men googoo.

2020-02-21T00:27:55+00:00

Witnessing shallowness is always a sight to see.

Sklucky · 2020-02-21T04:02:41+00:00

It's like you being shocked that we can be attracted to the dumb bimbo that is also somehow super sexy. You see she's a big idiot and we see she's drop dead sexy. A Chad is nothing but a fuck boi just like the bimbo is nothing but something to have some fun with imo.

I dont want a long term relationship with some idiot and I would hope you wouldn't want that for yourself either.

Cicero_Johnson · 2020-02-21T05:42:33+00:00

Women CLAIM they want a man who will give them a relationship.

Chad only wants to give them one thing.

No, it is not a relationship.

For Chad to give a girl a relationship would be like a man who could psychically induce lust in women deciding that he wanted to just do dating honestly, and without his super power.

SteveSan82 · 2020-02-21T06:48:35+00:00

It is only shocking to the tradcons

Thetrvler · 2020-02-21T07:09:54+00:00

The reason why it’s a bit different when women like “Chad” is because everything a woman has to offer men in the reality of biological reasoning will decay without question. Her looks will deteriorate, she’ll probably get a couple of bastard children out of dealing with “Chads” in her prime years, then be put out on a high-interest used car lot asking for 5x’s her new retail worth with 15x’s the liability with no insurance and ask for this with a straight face.

Woman’s weakness is, and always has been, longevity in anything.

ProgmusicHans · 2020-02-21T08:16:20+00:00

Blue pill thirsty people like Incels and others that are putting women on a pedastal/disregarding observable reality are the one acting shocked and devastated, all while having a moan about it. Blackpillers accept observable reality reluctantly, but of course also have a moan about it. Redpill is all about accepting observable reality AND act accordingly. Redpilled dudes acting shocked and devastated regarding issues, that per definition must be accepted and act on accordingly for them to be considered redpill in the first place? That's not happening.

Levyathyn · 2020-02-21T08:30:52+00:00

The general consensus is that women tend towards assholes. Whether you agree or disagree, with what specifically and how much, that's all on the individual; but this is a philosophy that even ranges across many women, with much of the early narrative and the starting days of this kind of belief being fostered by all of the decrying made about how hard it is to find a decent man and so on.

Incel philosophy is basically a narrative shaped to where the handsome, attractive man has been groomed by a life of easy dating and sex to be a flippant, careless person who isn't ever in tune with the romantic or relationship needs of his partner. And not just any attractive man either, but specifically the Chad archetype--there is a difference, and a wide range of study on the matter that is just not feasible to get into right now, but Chad's specifically are the people in question here.

The worst of it tends to just posit women as dumb animals who follow their hormones and sex drive to bulky, dumb, muscleheaded jerks regardless of their own past and history dating them. Each further case is just another instance of outsiders being surprised by this pattern of behavior.

Of course, there is some truth to it; dating is never easy, and there's a long history of people, men and women alike, who have sat back and watched someone they were romantically interested in go through bad match after bad match. It's how you view that, and you're perspective on why it happens, that tends to shake the overall personal philosophy involved.

In short, the "pilled" perspective on it is, if it's always such a bad time for you, why do you keep doing it?

zino193 · 2020-02-21T08:38:54+00:00

It's 2 fold, the ideea is that the handsome princ is actually a nerd with heart of gold. That's the ideea behind romance.

Secondly, self esteem culture told us each and everyone one of us has a heart of gold and a special someone that will value and prize him/her fr what they are so they never have to change or improve.

AnotherWildling · 2020-02-21T09:51:45+00:00

https://www.livescience.com/7483-beautiful-women-marry-attractive-men.html

"Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women, the researchers suggest. Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands, they say. "

xbmorexhavocx · 2020-02-21T09:58:35+00:00

LPT: just fucking don’t.

eddielovett · 2020-02-21T10:46:07+00:00

Because men grew up believing that girls should like them based on merit and good qualities. They are shocked that attraction has nothing to do with how “good” you are.

Men are also told by a feminist society that they are equal to women and grow up thinking that women are just like them but with a vagina.

They expect women to want romantic love like they do. They expect women to love them for who they are deep down and not superficial things like muscles and money.

When all these fairy tale unrealistic expectations meet with cold, hard reality these men (for lack of a better word) feel broken. It’s a shocking experience to learn the truth of female psychology and sexuality.

TroyFrancisPUA · 2020-02-21T11:00:09+00:00

It's not

2020-02-21T11:54:34+00:00

I think they care because girls standards are much more strict. Like it’s pretty much impossible for most guys to be hot. Whereas girls can be relatively attractive fairly easily. I think that’s why they care.

Edit: damn I’m reading some of the comments and it’s sad to see so many people believe this kinda stuff and they live in such a depressing reality. Kinda sad.

halcyon4ever · 2020-02-21T12:15:48+00:00

I think for most the shock is the high correlation of Chad and Asehole. Never doubted the physical attraction, just have known what jerks they are yet women still fling themselves at them.

ever-inquisitive · 2020-02-21T15:00:42+00:00

Are we ignoring the fact that the definition of attraction can change? That a supermodel ceases to be as desirable as one focuses on features that are more significant to them? Character, capability, kindness, strength...

When I was 14 a supermodel reigned supreme as desirable. Now my scarred by life, strong willed character rich wife is truly the most beautiful thing in the world.

No one should be surprised that “beauty” is desirable. Nor that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

SirTanksAlot_ · 2020-02-21T16:01:16+00:00

It's because we're (regardless of gender) taught that inner qualities are more important than looks. So in case a person gets rejected, especially if it happens multiple times, they'll either have to accept that they're not quite as beautifull 'on the inside' as they thought, or consider the rejector(s) to be the one(s) with an ugly soul. (eg. that they exclusively care for appearance).

This goes for both boys and girls and everyone inbetween. Nothing to do with gender.

MDBVer2 · 2020-02-21T20:26:41+00:00

It's not shocking or any of those words you've used to describe it. It just sucks.

Believe it or not, men want to be desired by women just as much as women want to be desired by men. It is discouraging to some of us when most girls are drooling over the Henry Cavill's and Idris Elba's of the world. To some of us, they appear to be the rule, not the exception to it and we know we're never going to live up to that standard, and thus never truly be desired, only settled for.

Youngthughater · 2020-02-21T22:32:14+00:00

Think of how media convinces young girls that prince charming will one day materize out of nowhere and sweep them of their feet. Even though we all know this exact think doesn't happen many women alone in their 30s face the shock that they may have to "settle" or face infertility.

Similarly media constantly shows young boys that the nerdy guy who does the right thing and stay true to himself gets the girl at the end. The reality just hits guys much sooner than women so the anger over it is more widespread on the internet.

The media we watch sets subconscious expectations on us that even if we know better the truth will often confuse and frustrate us.

thjn · 2020-02-22T10:47:39+00:00

As a guy I can tell you that it is known and very logical.

Being below the "talk dark and handsome" Chad line applies to most guys. It is a sad and dark reality. Now you can be bitter and resentful about it for the rest of your life, you can try the creepy desperate nice guy tactic (making your situation even worse), you can go your own way (feels like wasting lifetime), distract yourself with RP thoughts (thinking it would make any difference). Nothing will change anything.

There is only one recommendation "Be attractive! Don't be unattractive!"

RichPenalty8 · 2020-02-24T15:33:13+00:00

No surprise.

But then don't be surprised when the Chad's aren't 'fat-positive' or some other such crap.

If you want looks you get looks; not acceptance.

41013 · 2020-02-20T17:44:19+00:00

[deleted cuz I’m not a dude. Sorry]

TRPonlySubsBanTRPppl · 2020-02-20T21:26:37+00:00

Easy to see in others, but much more difficult to accept that it's not you. I was in a group the other day and this girl was feeling really insecure. I put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her and she basically recoiled. I think she wanted the guy on the other side of her to comfort her. She would probably blow him in a heartbeat and only me if I was a millionaire. Even then, she would only blow me to get my money and while I was at work she would be blowing him. The existence of Chad means my whole life is going to suck because I'm not Chad.

Title	Men: can you explain why women liking “Chad” is such a shock?
Author	Weirdstuntedcel
Upvotes	236
Comments	483
Date	February 20, 2020 5:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f6wmro/men_can_you_explain_why_women_liking_chad_is_such/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-can-you-explain-why-women-liking-chad-is-such.338553 https://theredarchive.com/post/338553