Most of men's dating woes are due to the factor of imbalanced male-female ratios in their social environments

Creation_Soul · 2022-10-04T09:34:50+00:00

While I agree with you that it's a good approach, there are some pitfalls that people should be aware of.

In college I studied computer science so you can imagine the skewed gender ratio (70% were men). At some point in time, I decided I wanted to also also try different social environments so I joined a student club at a completely different university where the gender ratio was 60% women.

The first "issue" I encountered is that my passion in technology was basically useless as a conversation topic in the student club because they knew nothing about technology. Basically, I had to figure out on the go other things to strike conversations about.

The second thing is much more important is that you shouldn't join such groups with the sole intention of finding a relationship. Sure, if you hit it up with someone, sure, go ahead, but forcing things is a big mistake. There was a guy in that club that had obviously joined just to hit on women and had very little interest in club activities; this fact spread as a "rumour" to everybody and he was not very successful. After about 3 months he left the club. Basically join activities that you also have some interest in and do it to enjoy the activity; if you hit on a woman and it doesn't work out and the next day you move to the next women, you will get a bad rep.

If you spend too much time socializing in a male dominated social circle, you need to know that it's very different from a more gender balanced social group. It takes some time to adapt and your jokes that worked on your male buddies, may fall flat (or be taken as "in bad taste") in the gender balanced group.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-10-04T11:06:39+00:00

I don't disagree with your premise (that men from male-dominated circles will struggle more to find women) or your conclusion (that men should diversify their social circles).

What I do disagree is that the reasons you listed are the only reasons. From what I've seen, it's less often that women are hungrily looking for Chad, or going out to look for orbiters so much as... women tend to often socialize without looking for partners at all.

A group of men who go to a bar are likely going to the bar to meet women. Which is fine, as many people go bars and meet partners there. But a group of women who go to a bar might not be looking for men at all - they're going out because they genuinely want to go drinking and partying with their friends, and have no plans to go home with anyone, because they aren't ambiently horny all the time like dudes are. (They can be horny. It's just not the default state, even of a woman who's single.)

So my contention is that fewer women in social circles are available for relationships... at all, meaning circles with few women can have zero interested women at all, not because she "has too many to pick from", but because it lowers the number of women who are interested in even trying to date at all.

Kappador66 · 2022-10-04T10:43:19+00:00

Just because you're friends with girls doesn't mean they want to fuck you.

AidsVictim · 2022-10-04T14:29:52+00:00

The solution is for men to change their usual social environments to places with healthy distribution of male to female or even female dominated place.

Outside of college these environments basically don't exist, at least for younger single women. Bars and clubs are (usually) male dominated and it's mostly certain types of men (more aggressive and "confident") that do well there. Hobby clubs like knitting or something will have a high female ratio but it's going to be extremely awkward joining those as a single guy. Even stereotypical activities like yoga are going to skew older and married/LTR women, I've been to a couple of yoga studios and even though women were 50%+ of the classes single guys in their 20's and early 30's definitely outnumbered the women in that same range. Music festivals that have artists more popular with women are one of the only places I can think of where you can consistently come close to hitting a even gender ratio and not have most of the women be older and married.

Younger single women mostly just want to stick to socializing with their immediate girlfriends, when they go out it's usually to restaurants or trips to wherever. As long as they're getting enough social stimulation with their girlfriends they aren't pressed much about dating and they basically just have to be passively "open" to meeting men who hit on them as they go about their day if they are (less true as they get older).

The main thing OLD has going for it and why it will remain popular despite everyone bitching about it, the bad gender ratios, looks being 90% of it etc is that it's one of the only ways to find more than a handful of single women.

xzpw · 2022-10-04T13:49:50+00:00

I disagree with your solution. It implies there are a plethora of places that are woman dominated and women would be open to approach at these spaces.

It’s a fucking fact that women stay in more than men do. Women sit at home and watch Netflix, bro. That’s all they do. If you’re lucky - maybe you find one who’s into a local knitting club or yoga or is an active runner/hiker/tennis player but that’s about fucking it. They don’t go out like men do.

Just compare lesbians vs gay men. Compare. There’s a reason gay bars are a massive thing and lesbian bars can never stay open. Women don’t go out like men do.

prizefighterstudent · 2022-10-04T15:16:54+00:00

I've read studies / articles that discuss how imbalances in sexual access and gender disparities were at least partially responsible for civil unrest / revolution in the past -- tt's a numbers game at every stage.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-10-04T11:03:35+00:00

To be honest, I think some advise won’t help some people in the dating game. You can try dating but doesn’t guarantee anything. People need to practice self love and adjust to the idea that dating might not work for them. Doesn’t mean they have to give up but they can treat dating as a game, rather than obsessing and getting angry when it doesn’t go well.

throw77498 · 2022-10-04T10:49:32+00:00

You don't have to be the best by some arbitrary standards. I had been in plenty of situations where if I was around basic girls, and some of my "chad" buddies were around, I'd have no shot, since those girls value excitement and physical attraction.

But if I'm around some nerdy girl, that's a bit shy and has some obscure interests I happen to share, then my friends would have no shot against me.

If you're not the best for her, by whatever metrics, it wasn't meant to be anyway

wtknight · 2022-10-04T12:13:44+00:00

Sausage fests can be easy places for a woman to find a guy, no argument there.

But if you look at dating trends on male vs female dominated college campuses, the women who have that numbers advantage aren't looking for Chad cock. Instead, they're pairing off with men offering commitment. Still, only the top men are getting any action because there's not enough women to go around, but they're top men by the standards of what women at this sausage fest value for LTRs.

It's when men are winning at the numbers game that it all turns into a casual sex fest.

AidsVictim · 2022-10-04T15:19:31+00:00

aren't there literally more women than men?

why doesn't this stack the odds in men's favor?

mextreme10 · 2022-10-04T18:18:16+00:00

Ratio is a big factor. Why do you think Frats are so successful with women, they literally combine alcohol and 2:1 female:male ratio. I personally go to a engineering school and not in a Frat and I struggle. I frequent parties at other schools that are heavily female and feel like a playboy for a night.

FancyComfortable4678 · 2022-10-04T15:57:13+00:00

I’ve considered this before but all that happened was I got kicked out of the knitting club

darkvalleys · 2022-10-04T16:42:59+00:00

Counterpoint: men don’t wanna

And who are we to force them ?

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-05T01:29:11+00:00

I mean there are more women than men in the world so there will likely always be some disparity but in favor of men if we're talking about a huge city or an entire country, save maybe China and even in China there's only a slight percentage more of men than of women.

You may be on to something suggesting men spend more time in groups where the ratio is more in their favor, however a lot of people in this sub (in my opinion self-sabotagingly) discourage participation in traditionally feminine activities and will not be able to reconcile the two.

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NorthernTaste · 2022-10-04T15:02:23+00:00

Naw, it’s the libido and plumbing imbalance

spunkystoic · 2022-10-04T20:36:20+00:00

I think the issue is a bit more complex than that.

ruboyuri · 2022-10-04T22:23:00+00:00

That would require effort and platonic relationships

Banestar66 · 2022-10-06T23:16:21+00:00

Disagree. Go to majority female spaces like colleges and same problems are still there.

Title	Most of men's dating woes are due to the factor of imbalanced male-female ratios in their social environments
Author	masterlaster1199
Upvotes	15
Comments	60
Date	October 4, 2022 8:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xv9mx4/most_of_mens_dating_woes_are_due_to_the_factor_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-of-mens-dating-woes-are-due-to-the-factor-of.1135159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135159