Many men here say that they want a woman who is feminine, submissive, kind, and isn't trying to "act like a man" or take on the masculine role in the relationship.

These same guys will then say that women should start asking men out first, directly approach them and give them her number, tell a man she thinks he's attractive, etc.

Most of the time, this isn't a good idea and it won't work in the woman's favor.

First thing, as much as many men don't want to admit this... Directly approaching a man first and asking him out is going to be viewed as "masculine." Many men will initially be flattered and intrigued, and of course this makes sense because men don't get complimented/asked out often... but beyond the initial curiosity, it usually won't get the woman what she desires.

She might get some initial interest/conversation or a casual situation out of it, but usually she will not get an equal relationship where the guy feels he got "a catch."

Men will say this is "only if she pursues men out of her league." I agree that it won't work because often, women are only going to pursue men they're "hell yes" about... and yes, often those guys probably will have better options. But I still think this applies even if a woman is attractive and pursues men "in her league."

Many men will have these thoughts if they get asked out first by a woman: 1) "If she's attractive and cool, why aren't enough guys approaching her that she doesn't need to ask men out first?" and 2) Assuming (whether consciously or subconsciously) that she's easy and/or desperate.

Many men (and women, but we're talking about men right now) also enjoy a little bit of a chase. Not game-playing or being used, but having to work a little for what they want. If you asked someone whether they want to work for $100 or just have it given to them... Of course they're going to say "just give it to me," but their actions will usually show them valuing the money more when they had to work for it.

A better way for a woman to get a man's attention, without directly asking him out, is through IOIs (indicators of interest). This could be smiling, dressing up when you're going out, being social and looking receptive, exuding a positive energy and looking around and not down. It could even be complimenting something the guy is wearing or saying hello, and then letting the guy take the lead and actually be the 1 to ask for your number/out.

I truly believe many men enjoy asking women out, paying for a date (within reason), feeling like "the man", etc. It's just that men enjoy when those actions are genuinely respected and appreciated, not when they're being taken for granted.

There are SOME cases where asking men out can work better - If the men you like are more introverted, passive, or have a more feminine energy, those men usually will be shy and will actually be attracted to assertive women (not just attracted to the ease of getting her).

But on average, it's better for a woman to put herself in a man's orbit than to actually ask him out. She will get better results this way.

CMV.