Most women find very few men attractive

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-10-05T16:08:42+00:00

No incl content.

KayRay1994 · 2022-10-05T12:34:46+00:00

here’s the thing - it ultimately doesn’t matter, cause far more than 2-10% of guys are getting dates, sleeping around and getting into committed relationships - attraction works very differently for women, that’s why asking them to rank men purely on how they look will never actually tell the whole story

WilliamWyattD · 2022-10-05T06:36:05+00:00

This kind of things is highly influenced by the fact that most women have a very receptive or reactive sexuality. Their sex drive is often 'off' or at 'very low' by default until a specific man or situation turns it on. And it isn't entirely looks that turn it on. So yeah, in their default mode, most men will seem unattractive. However, when properly seduced or turned on, many women can find a surprising selection of men attractive in the moment.

That said, yes, women are more selective. So even accounting for the above, women do find men less attractive than the other way around. And socialization plays a role, too. So it is an open question whether in the current environment, even with proper seduction, women are finding men sufficiently attractive to maintain the widespread monogamy paradigm.

Bandit174 · 2022-10-05T06:30:51+00:00

The crazy part is women will still insist it's harder for a woman to be considered attractive by society's beauty standards than it is for a man.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-10-05T08:03:43+00:00

I find almost no man attractive based on physical appearance alone (photos).

However, I'd say about 50%, probably even more of guys in my city and in my age group have potential to become attractive to me if they have the right personality, energy, outward presentation etc. In other words, 50% would pass my looks threshold if for the right combination of other stuff.

Super-Peoplez-S0Lt · 2022-10-05T05:56:52+00:00

In other words, grass is green during the spring.

armordog99 · 2022-10-05T10:46:40+00:00

I believe that this difference is rooted in biology. Reproduction is very costly for women. Both in terms of what it does to their bodies and in time. So they have to be picky.

For men reproduction cost very little. As the old saying goes; “Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive.”

I saw a study once that looked at how men and women rated the opposite sex on dating apps. Men rated a lot half of women as attractive and half as unattractive. Forming a traditional bell curve.

Women rated only about 10% of men as attractive. Forming a very lopsided bell curve.

The question this brings up is then how do so many women find a mate if they are attracted to so few men. Again I think biology gives us an answer. Pheromones. Studies have show that women are influenced by pheromones much more than men are.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3987372/#:~:text=Pheromones%20may%20also%20play%20a%20role%20in%20mate,in%20women%20promotes%20attractiveness%20ratings%20of%20potential%20mates.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-10-05T07:08:01+00:00

I somehow manage to see at least one aesthetically (don't confuse it with sexually) attractive feature in 90% of the men i see.

As for getting sexually aroused, it's more to to with movement and things that are in motion. Static images do nothing, unless they "summon a movie" inside my head that transforms the static stuff into motion.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-10-05T08:20:12+00:00

Makes sense when you consider how easy it is for a dude to orgasm. "Men will put their dick in anything" doesn't really make it much of a compliment.

That doesn't mean these men are finding happy, good relationships by doing this, tho. Dudes who are screening for individual compatibility for an LTR will probably go for much, much fewer women. If he's smart.

thegr8profiter · 2022-10-05T07:39:35+00:00

I mean do men find most women attractive? I may notice two or three women in a busy street and think wow. Most women are not attractive to me. I think this work both ways.

Oli_love90 · 2022-10-05T13:12:34+00:00

But wouldn’t it stand to reason that men don’t find most women attractive either?

Let’s filter - remove any woman too old/young, remove women in parts of the world you have no idea about, remove women with all other factors that you consider unattractive Wouldn’t that stand to reason that you don’t actually find majority of women attractive?

When I consider all these things and look around obviously I’m not gonna find majority of people attractive.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-10-05T11:09:31+00:00

My older sister said over the course of an entire year she might see 5 guys she thinks are attractive

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-05T09:28:43+00:00

I think you're looking at it wrong. You're assuming these women find less men attractive than they immediately find good looking. In fact, it's usually the other way around - they'll find more mem attractive than they immediately notice due to looks alone. (I also find that women are more likely to include ALL men - including older, fatter, plainer men - than men are to include all women when thinking about how many are attractive, as men often overestimate only based on the ones they notice.)

TheNamelessComposer · 2022-10-05T08:57:45+00:00

This is why personality in a man matters a lot to us, and can sway how attractive we find men. I don't find most men attractive on sight, no, but physical attraction can build if I learn he has an amazing personality and we're a good match.

kokorwqac · 2022-10-05T06:23:10+00:00

I literally only find anime porn sexual i hate myself

RootingRound · 2022-10-05T07:22:37+00:00

It's not emblematic of a problem. As long as you're looking for a long term partner, being strikingly attractive will never be the standard you have to meet.

Physical attractiveness without any familiarity is very different from attractiveness as a romantic partner.

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missionarymechanic · 2022-10-05T11:29:59+00:00

You do understand how risk-adverse women are in public, right? Not that they all make great decisions regarding their personal safety, but that strangers make them highly uncomfortable. You have to be utterly gorgeous and charismatic to have a chance at making a cold approach on the street. The only way you are "safe" is if you have a woman, children, or a friendly animal attached.

Far more ideal is meeting through friends and activities and keeping yourself well-dressed and groomed. It doesn't change the advantage more attractive men hold, but it opens the door. Personally, I've found partner-dancing to be a good way to meet women, but only because I fell in love with ballroom dancing. You stick out like a sore thumb if you're at an activity just to try and meet women, so find an activity that you love and are passionate about.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-05T12:16:53+00:00

I feel society/culture has promoted this idea

Wait are you saying that society, not biology, has caused women to not be instantly attracted to most men?

greenifuckation · 2022-10-05T12:18:22+00:00

I don't find most men attractive on first appearances.

wtknight · 2022-10-05T13:06:03+00:00

This is less depressing than men might think, as it draws attention to the fact that women consider many men “yellow lights”’who they might need to get to know better before becoming attracted to them.

The problem is that men want to be that “green light” who women want to instantly have sex with. Women’s sexuality only works that way for men whom they perceive to be the highest value. One of the big problems with casual sex culture is that it gives average women sexual access to these highest value men and therefore makes them less potentially attracted to the men whom are actually in their league.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-10-05T13:26:03+00:00

i find almost no men "attractive" just walking around or looking at pictures, a few may be so exceptionally good looking that they are eyecatching, but this is not attraction. i am not really attracted to any man until we are interacting which is why i have slept with many men i wouldnt have looked twice at on the street or in pictures

The9thElement · 2022-10-05T13:41:23+00:00

In other words, the sky is blue

2022-10-05T14:53:39+00:00

Bro a Reddit comment does not and never will represent an entire gender. Sign off and go outside.

hostility_kitty · 2022-10-05T15:21:03+00:00

Have you seen most guys? Now imagine sleeping with them. Kinda gross!

2022-10-05T15:21:53+00:00

its depressing if you think you have to be the guy that is attractive to every woman.

its not depressing at all if you understand that most women become more attracted to men when they fall in love with them.

Temporary-Drawing212 · 2022-10-05T15:22:55+00:00

I mean for me it matters the location. My parents live in an area where it's mainly older middle class people. There I have hardly seen an attractive men. But, when I go into the known cities everyday I see 3-6 young attractive men a day.

thetacobitch · 2022-10-05T15:30:07+00:00

Yeah men tend to hate the rare occasion when women actually benefit from the patriarchy.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-05T15:36:44+00:00

A lot of this is just a misunderstanding of how women’s attraction works. Few men will turn our heads based on appearance alone. But if you compare this to the number of men who are partnered, you can see something else is going on. Women consider the whole picture when it comes to men, including mannerisms, voice, demeanor, and can develop attraction after talking to a man. This also doesn’t mean women think 90% or more of men are “ugly.” Just that it’s rare for a man to be noticeably attractive based on looks alone.

I also think women have a tendency to brag about how few men they’re attracted to, and the ones who are less picky are more quiet about it. I find probably closer to 30-50% of men reasonably attractive in spaces where there are a lot of young-ish single people, like clubs and festivals. But for some reason I feel a little awkward saying that if other women are saying “1-5%.” It can become a picky contest.

darkmauveshore · 2022-10-05T07:50:50+00:00

Perhaps if men wore makeup more women would consider them attractive.

GGMcThroway · 2022-10-05T10:34:01+00:00

Well then maybe men should actually put in the work to become attractive instead of complaining about it on the internet. Why would women consider people who put no effort into their appearance to be just as attractive as people who do make that effort?

Like, are you depressed that men aren't getting rewarded for making zero effort or something???

newoneaj1234 · 2022-10-05T05:48:26+00:00

Nothing new

inkybreadbox · 2022-10-05T08:56:11+00:00

I’m just not very physically attracted to a man until they start speaking and usually it’s the speaking that makes them unattractive. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lots of men just care about what women look like and what she says has very little impact.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-10-05T11:05:44+00:00

Pretty much. It’s interesting that you find it depressing, though.

LVZpackerd · 2022-10-05T12:32:49+00:00

Most women put much more effort into improving their attractiveness than men do.

Maybe guys just need to step up their effort.

gofigure62 · 2022-10-05T12:52:35+00:00

Most men are unattractive. Most men don't do anything to be attractive. They think everything is "gay". They also claim that learning how to style themselves is too "difficult" so they don't do anything at all.

Unkept hair, unibrows, uncared for skin, dirty finger nails, and ill fitted clothes isn't attractive.

Clean_Mastodon5285 · 2022-10-05T06:06:14+00:00

If you want to find less superficial women who don't demand you be rich/thug/Chad GET YOUR PASSPORT and LEAVE THE WEST

2022-10-05T16:03:18+00:00

yeah also an insane amount of ugly women honestly believe that they legitimately deserve the top dudes. and it's pretty rare to find dudes that are delusional enough to think that they deserve the top women

risdeveau · 2022-10-05T06:47:41+00:00

Compared to how many women men find attractive, sure

2022-10-05T07:59:57+00:00

this doesn't matter, what matters in life is virtue , put no faith in a fallen world

lukrtv · 2022-10-05T09:40:54+00:00

This imbalance helps keeping society intact. If women were attracted to men to the same degree as men to them (ceteris paribus) society would collapse immidiately (altough some unfortunate guys would finally have their so basic intimate, romantic and companionship needs met.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-10-05T08:09:36+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/koag0c/men_love_talking_about_the_okcupid_study_except/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-10-05T11:49:01+00:00

Comments coming from a gender who uses attractiveness to gain leverage in life.

SuperBodybuilder7405 · 2022-10-05T12:53:46+00:00

I call BS on that, I think women play this game that they're not attracted to any dudes physically or that appearance doesn't matter to them. But if you look at the real world, it's very apparent who gets most attention from women, it's not the ugly ones.

I honestly think women have even gaslighted themselves into thinking they don't care about physical appearance.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2022-10-05T13:52:31+00:00

Woman are nowhere near as visually orientated as Men when it comes to determining sexual attraction. Obviously there are a small percentage of Men that are so objectively physically attractive that pretty much all Woman agree they are hot-and therefore these are the guys that clean up when it comes to picture centric online dating/hookup sites.

However just because a guy isn’t attractive when viewed in isolation of his photo doesn’t mean a woman won’t find him attractive in person or when she learns more about his circumstances.

Woman are significantly more cerebral and multi faceted in terms of what gets their juices flowing. This is why the vast majority of porn is consumed by Men and the vast majority of erotic fiction is consumed by Woman.

This is in no way to diminish the importance Mens looks play in terms of attracting Woman. Obviously the better looking you are the easier it is going to be to attract Woman. There is no denying that. It’s just to say that it genuinely isn’t the be all and end all when it comes to attracting Woman- in the same way it pretty much is for Woman when it comes to attracting Men.

Men might be instantaneously physically attracted to Woman in much greater numbers than the reverse. However Woman can’t really increase there attractiveness to the opposite sex in the same way a Man can. Other than losing weight there is very much a fixed “attractiveness” ceiling for every Woman. Regardless of a Woman’s intelligence, personality, wealth, status, dress sense…she’s never going to turn herself into a 9 if she was born a 5. A man will always choose the cute barista over the overweight plain jane multimillionaire CEO. Reverse genders however and the short, overweight, multimillionaire male CEO will be swimming in models.

Of course the above is an extreme example that simply illustrates status trumps looks when it comes to female attraction to Men. 99 percent of Men of course do not have the level of status that can completely override their physical appearance. We can however extrapolate out and at least determine that looks are certainly not everything when it comes to attracting the average Woman. Just because a picture doesn’t do it for her doesn’t mean attraction cannot and will not grow in person. This is why it is so important for the average Man to get off the dating aps and meet Woman in the real world.

Esterwinde · 2022-10-05T07:57:13+00:00

Don’t worry they're also too busy shitting on each other as well.

Specialist_Product51 · 2022-10-05T09:35:35+00:00

Eh, I don't believe in dating or marriage anyways

darkvalleys · 2022-10-05T11:42:54+00:00

Yeah, but we will still fuck

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-10-05T12:51:52+00:00

Most women don't spend any effort to look for an attractive man.

If you walked around spending absolutely no effort whatever to look at someone attractive, you'd be the same. You'd only find a handful a year.

Like really try it, really think think in infinite abundance, and do not look at any woman whatever, because you are not looking for an attractive women. You won't find many.

ElectricBugs · 2022-10-05T14:46:17+00:00

Why is this depressing? This should actually boost people who aren't that attractive up more because they will realise that women make decisions about relationships and men on things that are far more "fair" and in their favour, such as personality, grooming, finances, interests etc.

ruboyuri · 2022-10-05T15:29:15+00:00

Yes, thus proving that looks really don’t matter that much to women

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-10-05T14:15:13+00:00

Males compete for females and most fail. Zebras do it, Lions do it, most mammals do it. So do humans.

That is our fate has males. Compete and win or die alone. There are no participation trophies.

Nature will never change. Nobody gives a fuck about your loneliness. Especially women.

peachluvv · 2022-10-05T15:06:10+00:00

That’s why the stereotype of ugly man dating the attractive women exists. So many women will date a guy they’re not immediately attracted if they have the amazing personality, among other things going on for them. Of course attractiveness does matters, especially on dating apps but its not the end-all be all of relationships.

2022-10-05T15:12:06+00:00

Nature is brutal. No matter how much we evolve the basics will always ring true. Sink or swim.

Ok-Ad-6744 · 2022-10-05T15:34:00+00:00

Birth rates will crash

thetacobitch · 2022-10-05T15:40:56+00:00

Testosterone makes you horny. When you’re horny your bar is lower. Women aren’t constantly walking around horned up, so a very genuine attraction has to be there in order to get noticed. I don’t know what it’s like being a man, but I have been on medication that changes my sex drive and it’s noticeable how much more attracted I am to random people on the street. It’s all just body chemicals.

Justaregularguy001 · 2022-10-05T16:08:00+00:00

I will say this, in my experience, many men do put much effort into their appearance. This in conjunction with female choosiness makes it a hard time for many guys. Don’t despair though. While many things aren’t in your control (like your eye color), many other things are, such as your general dress, economic potential for success, personality, muscle mass, and etiquette. Cultivate what you have and maybe things will turn a new leaf.

AJWrecks · 2022-10-05T16:17:50+00:00

It’s really easier to just not date, life is way less complicated.

Title	Most women find very few men attractive
Author	TheNamelessComposer
Upvotes	58
Comments	343
Date	October 5, 2022 5:45 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xw214g/most_women_find_very_few_men_attractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-women-find-very-few-men-attractive.1135034 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135034