Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now

serial monogamy is a woman's strategy. "Spinning plates" - i.e. polygamy - is men's strategy.

mmmm i don't think that's the whole truth. back in pre-history it worked something like this: women give birth and are physically unprepared to handle a fistfight during pregnancy. that's why it's smart to mate with a guy who is both strong enough to fight off threats, intelligent enough to find and bring her resources while indisposed, and gentle enough to be a good father, thus making their offspring more likely to survive. that's long term strategy for a woman. men also have long term strategy, and it involves showing potential mates they are capable of the above. note that this is unrelated to whether or not they love each other, and more describing what results in the best outcome for the offspring. a child with two parents caring for it often does better than just one. we are focused on our individual experiences in dating it's easy to forget evolution and fitness of offspring is what drives it all.

in contrast, there are the short term strategies men and women have where a person doesn't invest much time or resources in any single mate but takes many mates instead. a man can spread his seed far and wide and a woman can have children by many different men. there are advantages and disadvantages to this for both sexes: if a woman has a good support network, a man sticking around may not make much difference. if she doesn't, it's more likely the offspring don't live to reproduce. for a man, he has the chance to have many more children, but those children may not live long enough to reproduce.

Are you willing to be a "plate" spun by an "alpha?" (Like Charlie Sheen's goddesses）

no cause that's not what i'm into

If not, why expect men to follow your sexual strategy, slut it up - er, sorry, explore your sexuality - when in your 20s at the height of your attractiveness, then find a "nice guy" when you're 30.

I don't. that's a straw man you've set up. and there you go again trying to act like men being promiscuous and hypergamous is right and natural, while a woman who act this way are contemptible. look at the bigger picture: at some point these things gave our ancestors an advantage, they're not good or bad until a society comer along and says so.

The guys who you rejected at 20 may have made something of themselves by 30 and simply aren't interested in committing themselves to you. The guys you hooked up with in your 20s are likely to going keep hooking up with other women.

haha that's funny. it's like you completely ignore peoples' varying personalities, cultures and values. you're falling for the logical fallacy that all men and women think and act alike.

Monogamy was a compromise; a woman toned down her hypergamy - she couldn't just sex up random guys, she had to pick one willing to invest in him - and men toned down their polygamy - they had to remain faithful to their wife.

reread what i said about short vs long term strategies.

Well, women decided they wanted serial monogamy. It worked since the 60s. But now you're going to have to deal with men's polygamy.

now this i do find interesting. i don't believe most people were 'built' to mate for life. there are studies i'll throw up later which show people tend to have better health if they have a stable and supportive ltr, but that's if you're one in a million lucky. many people are only able to maintain their pairbond for a few years, which coincidentally, is about how long it takes for a child to become less burdensome for one parent. so you can be sort of chemically addicted to your mate for a few years as an evolutionary nod to the success of having two parents, and the way to tell if it will last is how you feel about them after 5~8 years. that article about women getting tired of sex after a few years likely has more to do with the addiction fading than 'hypergamy'.

So, be a sister wife.

ok, ew? no thanks.

Traditionally, when women are young, hot and fertile, they pick a husband, have children with him, and all that sex with a hot 20 something makes him fall in love.

haha you know the difference between love and lust? love doesn't die when they're not hot anymore. it takes a lot more than a hot body for someone to love you.

But if you are "exploring your sexuality" in your 20s, no one man is going to fall in love with you.

yeah ok. don't let my SO of many years find that out, we only fucked casually at first lol.

So, you start over at 30 with a new guy. But now you're not the nubile, fertile young lass anymore. So, you just don't have as much to offer.

uh huh. my job, years of life experience and personality will have zero influence once i start getting some laugh lines. and cause women never get married after thirty.

Really, so many women are just the mirror image of the complaining TRP types. "But men should want a 30 year old with plenty of sexual experience. They should not want some young hottie, that's gross!"

that's another straw man.