What things are causing new sexual strategy challenges?

Currently I'm struggling with needing a haircut and wondering how to optimize my sexual strategy.

  1. Should I cut my own hair?
    Pro: shows initiative.
    Con: seems flamboyantly gay => Eww, panties dry

  2. Should my wife cut my hair?
    Pro: She keeps suggesting it and well, why not?
    Con: Mothering behavior => Manchild, panties dry

  3. Don't cut my hair?
    Pro: Easy.
    Con: Look like a lazy, unkempt loser lazybones => Unsexy, panties dry

  4. Sneak out of the house and cut my own hair?
    Pro: She'll notice my hair was cut and will wonder who did it.
    Con: Implausible to suggest some hot thot I bumped into while social distancing did it. => Obvious active dread attempt, panties dry

  5. Start and instagram, go out and have some desperate grungy bikerchick cut my hair and post it on instagram as some sort of anti-establishment protest.
    Pro: So bored and stircrazy this actually sounds exciting.
    Con: Very obvious cry for attention. => Manchild, panties dry

FML

What novel challenges have you encountered with your sexual strategy?