Over dramatization of men's actions in the workplace.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2018-09-20T01:48:42+00:00

I’m guessing there are three stories. His, hers and the truth.

Even on the face of it, his story sounds suspect. As he tells it, he would get angry, he would have temper tantrums and he would avoid her?

Yeah people play “the card”, race, gender .....People get away with it sometimes too.

I’m with Uncommon_Sense_12345, keep in mind that by his own admission he is not entirely blameless. If she is “a Broadway Star”, he also may have overestimated his value to the program relative to hers.

sublimemongrel · 2018-09-20T01:56:08+00:00

Who knows based on the tiny bit of information you’ve given.

hammerhaunts · 2018-09-20T00:54:03+00:00

How should this situation have been fairly dealt with in the age of modern gender politics?

I would need more details to judge.

LowCreddit · 2018-09-20T01:32:12+00:00

The only answer to modern workplace issues is to get rid of the mentally ill and the predators. At sane companies, we single these women out for firing. We do the same for creeps. We keep only healthy people around and none of the crazy bullshit comes up, just the small bullshit. You have to be choosy with who you work for and who you hire now.

Unfortunately, your friend's father is fucked. I would suggest he find an attorney yesterday and get the largest settlement he can get. As a teacher, he probably also has access to a union representative to help guide the way. His tenure and career is over. The only thing left now is to get his pound of flesh.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-09-20T07:28:04+00:00

Something smells rotten in Denmark. There was surely an investigation, wasn't there? You've mentioned that your friend admitted to having temper problems - No one's going to get fired for having a minor disagreement, but how we deal with friction and disagreements has a lot of bearing in the work place. If he's getting emotional and she's feeling targeted, she was well within her limits to make a complaint that he's hard to get along with. Just avoiding coworkers that you don't get along with isn't always possible when you have to actually cooperate with your coworkers in groups.

I'm not saying that it isn't entirely possible that she was also just some shrill troublemaker and that whatever their HR office was possibly just utterly failed at their job. People get failed by HR every day. I just don't know enough by what I've read to say anything other than it doesn't sound like he was without blame, but that it clearly ended up working out worse for him than for her.

darksoldierk · 2018-09-20T03:11:14+00:00

Nothing should have been done. He's worked as a teacher for decades, she's worked as a teacher for what? 4 - 5 years? They should have said to her "sometimes we don't get along with our co-workers, welcome to adulthood" and moved on.

The problem in the workplace is that women don't seem to understand that the workplace is not equivalent to her home. This is why as women became a bigger part of the workplace, the workplace has become less formal. I see corporate lawyers walking around wearing jeans and low-cut shirts, accountants walking around in track pants etc. This is what happens when companies aren't allowed to fire women for coming in late or leaving early even if the reason is that she had to drop off or pick up her kid from school. Women think they are in control of the workplace, and unfortunately, this is what happens when women get control or power. This is the equivalent of male workers touching women inappropriately, but no one will admit it.

I've been in a similar situation. Worked for 3 years at a job where I had to walk on eggshells all day long because of the one woman in the department, got accused of being sexist, aggressive, violent blah blah blah. I'll never forget that meeting with HR. I was so blindsided, I didn't know what to say, the only thing that came to mind was "hey, mind if I bring in some of the women I work with on a day to day and you can ask them if I've ever treated them differently because they are women while I go and get a cup of coffee".

Eartherry · 2018-09-20T03:50:44+00:00

I get why he would've gotten fired. It's not good for the school to have teachers talking down to other teachers regardless of their gender. Seniority gives one advantages when it comes to some things, it doesn't give them authority.

The fact that he was fired for the behavior however, is because the accuser is a woman. Women still have a harder time being taken seriously in the workplace. A man in the same position might not taken seriously or won't report it at all. Still, the behavior isn't ok, so something that would've gotten him fired anyway is being attributed to a gender issue only because a women are listened to (in the interest of not being sued).

wekacuck · 2018-09-20T01:26:19+00:00

How long have they worked together in the department?

the_calibre_cat · 2018-09-20T08:36:39+00:00

In the past year, she accused him of "speaking to her in an aggressive, demeaning way" and "not agreeing with her opinions on the direction and goals of the department because she is a woman."

Wouldnt they need some kind of evidence to charge him with this?

The school asked him to resign after her allegations.

He should refuse to resign and take it to court if he is being hard done by. Then, I'm very sure they'd need some hard kind of evidence to get rid of him or theyd face some kind of disciplinary action themselves.

mc0079 · 2018-09-20T15:48:09+00:00

You gave us a one sided slanted version of the situation with little detail. This is useless.

EsauTheRed · 2018-09-20T01:24:51+00:00

>speaking to her in an aggressive, demeaning way

Pretty normal for a guy who gives a shit about what he is doing when dealing with incompetents

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abaxeron · 2018-09-20T10:12:56+00:00

Women AND men: How should this situation have been fairly dealt with in the age of modern gender politics?

Segregation.

Seriously, there is nothing more about it. Men at large see that women don't contribute much to the workplace in terms of value; women excuse themselves by accusing men of misbehaving and disrupting their working process.

Put them apart and see who does better. It's the easiest way to see who is full of shit.

cxj · 2018-09-20T08:38:46+00:00

Ugh my dad is very very close to the teacher you described. I’ve worried about him because he just says nice friendly encouraging things to girls that in this day and age would seem “suspect” but he’s actually just a nice guy from a different time.

He also says very negative things about Islam lol

vanBeethovenLudwig · 2018-09-20T13:11:47+00:00

I've been accused of sexism from coworkers for treating women the same way I do men.

Basically if you criticize a mans work he will blame the work. If you criticize many women they will blame you and that your a man.

Similarly if you talk over a man or give a man a friendly insult they understand it as communication norms. Women may view this as mansplainig (lol) or being sexist.

Women and men are different. And yes you have to treat women with kid gloves or your ass is HR grass.

Title	Over dramatization of men's actions in the workplace.
Author	vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes	8
Comments	68
Date	September 20, 2018 12:51 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/over-dramatization-of-mens-actions-in-the.260770 https://theredarchive.com/post/260770
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9hash6/over_dramatization_of_mens_actions_in_the/