Parenting Philosophy?

wtknight · 2015-09-30T17:08:46+00:00

I would have a problem with any child who grew up and still expressed some type of philosophy in which he or she believed that a certain group of people were innately inferior. I wouldn't consciously distance myself from such a child, but I wouldn't feel a particularly close bond either.

They're welcome to believe whatever they want when they are adults, though. As children, I would have lots of philosophical discussions with them in an attempt to get them to emulate my values, but I understand that any children I have are not going to be exactly like me or my wife.

SirNemesis · 2015-09-30T17:20:33+00:00

This is why we lift. So we can beat the children if they misbehave.

Archwinger · 2015-09-30T18:44:20+00:00

Your job as a parent is to teach your kid how to be a capable adult. There's a broad spectrum of capable, functioning adults out there. If your kid gets that part right, the rest is just window dressing. Why? Because capable adults have the capacity to learn and change. If your kid follows a stupid path and is unhappy for it, he or she can fix it if you taught your child the proper tools.

My child(ren) will always know what I think and why, but once they're of legal age, I can't make them do anything. They can be as stupid as they want. They'll still be my kids, and I'll still love them. I'll even love them enough to tell them they're stupid, yet keep loving them anyway.

[deleted] · 2015-09-30T16:51:49+00:00

If my daughter was a femnazi I would still love her. I would just warn the guys she brings home about her wanting to kill all men. But yeah, I'd love my kids if they were gay, stupid or giant assholes.

TheGreasyPole · 2015-09-30T17:32:17+00:00

Wow.

That is a lot of questions in one OP... Let's have a go...(to make it easy I'm going to assume a child around the 17-18 line)

How do you think you would feel about, deal with a child whose values and life path you did not approve of?

I wouldn't be ecstatically happy, but these are their choices to make.

I see my role as providing them knowledge, guidance and good frameworks for making these decisions.

They then get to make them, and if they're over 18 they get to do so without my direct interference.

Would you punish them?

No. Not even if they are under 18. These are their choices to make.

Would you try to change them?

I would try explain why I thought it was a bad decision. If they find that convincing, cool. If not ? I'd probably retreat and try to come up with a more convincing argument.

Would you distance yourself from them (emotionally or physically)?

No. Not unless it was a very last ditch attempt to stop some incredibly unsafe behaviour. In any normal circumstance, no.

Cut them off completely (when they were no longer a minor)?

Nope, same safety rule as above.

Or accept they were different?

Yes

Stay in their lives no matter what?

Not "no matter what" but in any normal circumstance, yes.

Are you going to love, invest in a child more if they agree with, mirror your values?

No, or at least I don't want too. However if one child is trying to be very close to me because we agree, and another is pushing me away because we disagree, quite naturally the first child is going to get more attention.

You can't really help that, just try to compensate for it.

If you had three children and two mirrored your values, and one did not, is the one that does not going to get less love, less investment?

Not through any intention on my part.

But practically, in the real world, that is likely to happen. Not because I'm not giving it... But because they are around less to receive it.

Is that third child going to be valued less to you than the other two?

No. You're not a parent are you Taibo ? That's coming through loud and clear.

So... If you are a non red piller (or purple) and your child ended up really believing in the red pill way of life (or any other life values system and/or path you didn't agree with), if your child looked down on you and your values, how would you deal with that?

Ignoring as I am a red piller.

Likewise, if you are a red piller and your child thought your beliefs were wrong, looked down on you and your values, how would you deal with that?

I'd tell him I was right, and then offer to talk to him/her about it as much as he/her wants to.

Given who I am and the fact I've got 35 years experience they ain't got I'm confident I can put a great case.

If they still disagree ? Then at least they've seen the opposite view presented well before making a decision.

Basically, is it important that your children validate your beliefs/values?

Nope. What is important is that they have all the information and mental skills to make the decision that is right for them.

They're going to have to decide what that is.

I'm already putting my thumb on the scales too much by using my personal skills to present the best possible version of my case.

And if they don't end up doing that, how will you deal with that, treat them?

By letting them make their own decision... And standing ready to help them pick up the pieces and put humpty-dumpty back together again if it turns out they made a shitty call.

GridReXX · 2015-09-30T17:47:16+00:00

I would feel uneasy if my child were a bigot and thought themselves better than others. Clearly I failed.

Would I still love them? Yes.

Would I turn them in if they didn't something tragic? Yes.

max_peenor · 2015-09-30T18:00:47+00:00

Your kids are going to do stupid shit. Why? Because you did stupid shit when you were a kid. It took me 40 years to realize that I was doing stupid shit. It has made dealing with my kids (two of which are adults) a lot more sane.

All kids start with your values. At some point they will seek their own identity. That's cool. If the kid feels that being oppositional is a way to find their identity, I'd tell them that was just as stupid as mirroring me completely.

Cyralea · 2015-09-30T17:00:20+00:00

Given that all teenagers are stupid, I fully expect them to go through a phase or two. I intend to be somewhat strict in my parenting, but not draconian. Kids surprisingly do well in environments with clearly established rules and boundaries that are logical in nature.

Teenagers have this wonderful quality in that after a decade or so they stop being teenagers. Eventually the good advice you planted years ago bear fruit. Unless your children are braindead jackasses (and you have only yourself to blame for poorly selecting for their mother's intellect) they'll eventually come around.

My LTR is Chinese though, I fully expect that she'll be far more of a draconian parent than I will.

[deleted] · 2015-09-30T18:39:02+00:00

If they're not harming themselves or others they can do what the fuck they like especially once they're 18+.

I'd explain by own views, and it's down to them if they choose to adopt them or not.

Likely they won't because kids like to rebel against their parents more often than not. That's fine by me.

If they chose to be a red piller or a SJW I'd tell them my views on those philosophies (I think they're both extremes and extremes are best avoided) but again it's up to them if they wanna agree with me or not, I can only offer my views not force them.

[deleted] · 2015-10-01T21:03:33+00:00

I think I would find it impossible to completely disown a child that I had raised even if they did terrible things.

Title	Parenting Philosophy?
Author	taiboworks
Upvotes	5
Comments	36
Date	September 30, 2015 4:34 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3mzgh9/parenting_philosophy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/parenting-philosophy.279306 https://theredarchive.com/post/279306