CXJ wanted me to elaborate more on this subject in a previous thread.
Pair Bonding.
TRP references this concept often.
Usually in relation to how a promiscuous woman is unable to bond (emotionally? sexually? etc...) with her partner.
What constitutes promiscuous seems arbitrary. Could be 2+, 10+, 20+, 100+, or literally anyone other than him.
A promiscuous person who has sex for validation and emotional support, well then I understand the fear of how that may affect them long-term.
If a man has sex "to feel loved or adored." Or if a woman has sex for the same reasons. And if they both have casual sex for "validation" as opposed to "pleasure."
Red flag.
I think we can all agree here.
(Side Note: I'm a woman so I have a perspective heterosexual men don't have. There are a lot of men who have casual sex for all of the reasons I just mentioned. There a lot of men who lead with sex with hopes of "locking her down" as well.)
But what makes it a "red flag" isn't the promiscuity, it's the emotional connection they attribute to it.
I personally have had two FWBs in the past. They're cool guys, but I was not emotionally invested at all. It was about good sex. That's it.
If I were going to bring any baggage into a new relationship, it isn't coming from those two guys. It's coming from my previous very serious SO. We dated for years.
There's a lot of love (that will likely never go away, only temper over time), perhaps some resentment, and overall a general fondness of someone who is not my future husband.
So my question is this.
Realistically, what is likely to affect future "pair bonding"?
Someone with a few (or many) casual hookups?
-OR-
Someone with few (or many) serious past SO's?
Because I personally care more about a person's history of cheating and serious relationships, then their life on a "Pussy Parade" or "Cock Carousel."
. . . .
EDIT
Regarding "sexual comparisons." I know a lot of guys are afraid they're not their SO's "best lover," but here's the thing...
She could be a virgin and be very cognizant of pleasure or displeasure; satisfaction or dissatisfaction in her sex life. Look how many virgin brides complain on Reddit. Hell I was a virgin once and I knew what was up. A woman does not need to have tasted every penis to know whether or not she's sexually satisfied.
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