People around here forget the biggest obstacle when it comes to young women dating older men: their friends and social circle

[deleted] · 2021-01-07T13:59:25+00:00

What is your thoughts on following 10 years, 20 years with that relationship?

I normally wouldn't consider future like that, i am just curious

SaccharineX · 2021-01-07T15:30:19+00:00

ooof, yep the social circles are very unlikely to mesh well, considering the age gap. Different mindsets, interests etc.

GrumpyOldHistoricist · 2021-01-07T16:12:53+00:00

Bitch your friends are shunning you because you’re a married guy’s sidepiece, not because you’re “dating” an older dude.

spacechicken1990 · 2021-01-07T14:19:58+00:00

My ex was 7 years older than me & his friends would rip the piss out of him for dating someone so much younger (21-28) and honestly yeah they were right. It’s not very normal & usual is an indication that something is wrong with one or both parties.

2021-01-07T14:03:11+00:00

I''m not disagreeing with your social circle having views. Not at all.

But I disagree with the part where you say "forget". Men have social circles too and having the piss ripped out of you or being made fun of, is part of being in a relationship. And comments about the ball and chain, etc, if a mates (or yours) partner dosn't let him go out on the piss with the lads. But yeah, this is just part of a relationship. So I wouldn't say people are "forgetting", its just us guys are "projecting" as we are not so concerned as social circle status as some women are.

jakethegreatwhite · 2021-01-07T15:36:40+00:00

Why are you with a older guy? Resources? Experience? Daddy issues?

M4sterDis4ster · 2021-01-07T15:40:43+00:00

Age gap can be a problem if the older party is really shitty person. In that case, age gap is also one of the negative aspects added on all other negative aspects of the older person.

I know people with various age gaps, no one really made a problem out of it. I know girls in 20s dating guys in 30s.

My ex girlfriends were 5 years younger than me on average. Now I date 7 years younger girl as well. Never had problems with mocking any of us.

Technical_Block1172 · 2021-01-07T15:42:58+00:00

My fiance is 8 years older than me and I don't feel it at all.

We met in my mid 20-ies. He's was a bit immature when we met and his friends are mostly younger than him. In some aspects he's smarter than me, and in some aspects I am the brainy one :)

I think it depends on a person.

4everrekt · 2021-01-07T15:57:41+00:00

This is a good point. Social circle can be a huge obstacle regardless of age. If her friends think you’re a loser, it’s an uphill battle.

Something I notice is that if the people around her genuinely want the best for her, they tend to sign off on the relationship if he’s actually improving her life.

If the social circle has irreconcilable conflicts with the guy, typically she has to make a decision.

Where it gets sad is when the woman chooses a shit guy over a very supportive network, or chooses toxic friends over a fulfilling relationship.

KazikluBey_ · 2021-01-07T16:10:26+00:00

I guess the fact that he's married is an unimportant detail and has nothing to do with why you would be getting made fun of. But no, let's start a topic about the woes of age differences. Focusing on the real issues.

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Alfredaux · 2021-01-07T15:51:08+00:00

It’s a natural instinct for everyone to want to be accepted. Women are not especially or uniquely as such.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-01-07T15:52:59+00:00

Very few women don't care about the opinion of their social circle and those typically have some mental issues

My wife is one of those worried about her social circle, which I find kinda funny and its own form of mental illness (not really but as a guy we really don't care about such things for the most part). I don't get why she cares about women she barely interacts with outside of facebook and school functions.

mydikishomofobik · 2021-01-07T15:53:42+00:00

Yeah. This is why it's easier for older men to date younger women in cultures where it is more socially acceptable.

screamingIn2_theVoid · 2021-01-07T16:07:27+00:00

They just keep us on the down low, silly.

reluctantly_red · 2021-01-07T16:11:32+00:00

Your friends outright make fun of you if you date someone so old.

Any woman who cares too much about what their friends think is too immature to date no matter her chronological age.

Bad-DPS · 2021-01-07T16:21:12+00:00

OP's name is u/[deleted] if anyone wants to know why she deleted the post it's because this man shw is fucking is married with children and she "forgot" to state that on her post

MirriMazDuur · 2021-01-07T14:02:52+00:00

Perhaps they poking harmless jokes and you are too sensitive

throw-away-1709 · 2021-01-07T15:14:53+00:00

We live a 》30y age gap.

Learn to go your own way. Don't seek validation in social circles.

801735 · 2021-01-07T14:02:41+00:00

However, the influence of your social circle is a huuuge obstacle.

"Do what thou wilt" shall be the whole of the Law.

Also careful who you have in your social circle. Envy is a thing. People will destroy that which you cherish just to see you in pain.

20 years olds are not usually dating significantly older men.

Usually no, but ime her being younger (10-15 years) tends to work out a lot better within the couple, than same age. But it's much rarer, too.

Title	People around here forget the biggest obstacle when it comes to young women dating older men: their friends and social circle
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	15
Comments	100
Date	January 7, 2021 1:56 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ksdq27/people_around_here_forget_the_biggest_obstacle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/people-around-here-forget-the-biggest-obstacle.735370 https://theredarchive.com/post/735370