Popularity/Status does not make up for your looks unless it’s in the top 1-5% tier after high school

wtknight · 2022-10-14T23:33:44+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

EugeneCezanne · 2022-10-14T23:15:25+00:00

Umm, ask those athletes and creators about their dating lives and you'd probably be flabbergasted. Sure, some women ignore them; many others don't.

For the rest of us, popularity definitely matters, because it demonstrates social value. But the real adult world isn't high school or college, so it isn't necessarily demonstrated or judged in the same way. And the effectiveness of it as a sort of SMV force-multiplier i likely diluted by all of the other concerns adults have about their partners.

The other side of this is that the ability to become popular often goes hand-in-hand with the ability to be successful with women. Women are people, so being good with people is always going to help.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-10-14T23:23:36+00:00

You basically contradicted yourself. Popularity is relative to her visible sphere. Celebs count, so do the guys at work, so do athletes in her college, pros. Anyone with status visible from her sphere. Be in charge of of 15 guys, then tell me it doesn't modify your stance with women you are visible to. Only thing that changes is what is visible and accessible from her sphere.

Random unknowns are not visible to her. If shes an airbrush artist though you can bet there's 3-4 top airbrush guys you've never heard of that she has a crush on. Etc.

jj24pie · 2022-10-15T00:00:44+00:00

Everything in life seems to be rewarded to the top few % in anything

Bro literally the top post on this sub right now is about how the 80/20 thing is nonsense as 62% of young to middle aged US adults are married or living with a long term partner. Yet we still have people coming in here to whine about their own lives under the backdrop of “everyone has it bad like me” when, face it dude, they don’t. There’s no nebulous group of gorgeous “Chads” stealing all the women. There’s just you personally struggling.

ToberOct · 2022-10-14T23:37:11+00:00

Men's SMV is their youth and looks. Most men are living paycheck to paycheck. And most women are having too much fun with hot chads (who probably have rich parents anyway) to care about the very few men who have enough money, and don't look wrinkly enough yet, to make a small subset of daddy issues women sacrifice chad for cash (and she still probably cheats on him with chad anyway).

Some people are so focused on trying to push men and women as opposites in every way that they are doing backflips ignoring that wanting youth and looks is universal. Women are much more picky about looks than men.

TotalTravesty · 2022-10-15T00:20:51+00:00

Did you expect these women to answer every dick pic and “hey” message they get on their phones?

prizefighterstudent · 2022-10-15T02:01:48+00:00

I posted a similar thought months ago, more akin to how seeking status was stupid advice if you're trying to get laid. I amended my perspective based on the comments in the thread and reflection of my own life.

Status can absolutely be cultivated to get you laid in social settings, but they're often contained and you need to demonstrate value in a "smooth" way. These can be clubs, workplaces, classroom settings, whichever. It's the reason why tons of guys rack up bodies and develop robust social circles when working at upper to mid scale restaurants, even if they're not the best looking. Merely being in the proximity of young women all the time and showing some sort of value can help you out profusely.

gymbro718NYC · 2022-10-15T01:28:23+00:00

So women who thrive on attention and creating online drama say that athletes message them and then those women ignore said athletes and you see no connection between how they make money and what they say?

JumboJetz · 2022-10-15T02:13:32+00:00

A “creator” can mean anything. Technically everyone who posted on this thread is a “creator”

As for athletes - what level are we talking here?

M3taBuster · 2022-10-15T00:25:13+00:00

Even then, it only "makes up for your looks" in so far is it can get a ran-through vapid gold-digging whore to settle for you and make you her betabux after she's had her fun. Every second spent chasing money is a second you should've spent looksmaxing.

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Swordfromthecement · 2022-10-14T23:46:09+00:00

It can only help is the way you should look at it.

SolidPuzzleheaded984 · 2022-10-15T00:30:03+00:00

This is true.

When I was popular in high school I had multiple girls into me whom I never spoke to.

Their friends would tell me that they into me and made it so easy.

In college tho it’s a different level.

There are legit mini Celebs in college and competition is high.

I still got with girls but I had to initiate everything and do the whole tinder thing.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-15T00:50:20+00:00

Yeah it actually does. All you have to be is somewhat popular in your community. But in your community is important. Those random athletes and creators aren’t anyone she or her friends know. It’s more important to actually know people and have friends than to be “somebody special.”

relationshipengineer · 2022-10-15T01:58:05+00:00

I like to think of popularity as something similar to fishing on a boat. Let us ignore the factors that could propel someone to being popular that would skew our data (looks, singing ability, humor etc.) and assume you're popular just because you talk to everybody. While you may be still not particularly attractive, the amount of people you have access to by being popular (the boat being able to travel to many locations to catch fish) is what really helps your chances of finding a partner on the dating market. Just my 2c

warramite · 2022-10-15T03:08:59+00:00

Status is always attractive to women... if you're the surgeon with most successful surgeries in the hospital, women who work at that hospital will find you very attractive

The Janitor of the hospital not so much

The amount of messages I’ve seen that good looking women get on their phones from random athletes and random unknown creators is insane. Almost all of them are left unread or ignored.

You need to be/percieved better than her existing options regardless of what they are

WilliamWyattD · 2022-10-15T03:17:36+00:00

This is swinging from 80/20 to another extreme. The reality is far more nuanced. Even on a purely erotic level, women consider and give significant weight to more criteria in men than men do in women. Now, a culture that is worshiping youth and the erotic tends to push women towards a more active and looks centered sexuality than might be normal for them. Furthermore, dating apps that are all about photos will also make looks a a gating factor in a way it would not otherwise be. Finally, women are pickier in general than men, and have a threshold system, which makes it hard to directly compare them to men in terms of 'who cares more about looks'.

But make no mistake about it, non-looks factors still have enormous importance in meeting and mating with women, especially outside of Tinder.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-10-15T03:28:46+00:00

I just wanted to add that women's criteria for casual sex is different than for relationships. And this doesn't mean they are necessarily sacrificing the pure erotic for resources or companionship in relationships.

Rather, the whole context is different. Casual sex is more dangerous; and even if it isn't that much more dangerous now, it is likely triggering instincts from when it was. Furthermore, non-looks based factors are not going to be able to contribute as much to casual sex, even to the raw eroticism of it. So they naturally get valued lower.

So yeah, looks matter enormously for most women for those few times they may do something truly casual. Why the hell wouldn't it?

bunnakay · 2022-10-15T03:48:32+00:00

The only way in which popularity/fame has an impact is that more people simply know who you are...AND know a shit ton about you despite never having met or spoken to you.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-10-15T06:43:42+00:00

Not quite. Women definitely care about status associated with professions like being a doctor or a lawyer.

bill0124 · 2022-10-15T12:56:40+00:00

Do women even get that many messages? I've always sort of wondered this. It gets talked about a lot, but I'd imagine only insta models get those sorts of messages.

Some college girl with a private account and sub 1k followers probably isn't getting any messages beyond known acquaintances. And the vast majority of women either fall into this or don't have a social media presence at all.

Title	Popularity/Status does not make up for your looks unless it’s in the top 1-5% tier after high school
Author	eth_trader_12
Upvotes	6
Comments	37
Date	October 14, 2022 11:02 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y4807q/popularitystatus_does_not_make_up_for_your_looks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/popularitystatus-does-not-make-up-for-your-looks.1135645 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135645