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pumping and dumping male vs female

March 30, 2022
56 upvotes

There are many times when two people come together and have sex and one ends up flaking on the other and doesn't want to see the other again.

When it's a man that ends things after sex this is invariably called a pump and dump. The narrative is that he was using her, he's a player and has somehow wronged the woman.

When it's a woman who ends things after sex it is NEVER referred to as a pump and dump. Invariably questions arise as to what did the man do to cause her to not want to see him again. Was he a terrible lover? Did he not take care of her needs? Was he not respectful of her boundaries? Was he a creep?

Thoughts on this double standard? It does happen BTW. It's happened to me once as a male and I have done it twice myself. I'm guessing it's more often the men who bail but perhaps that's my socialized prejudice.

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[–]throwawaylessons103 53 points54 points  (116 children) | Copy Link

You're somewhat right about the double-standard.

But most of the time, I feel women are pretty forthcoming about wanting something casual. That, or it was a "in-the-moment" thing - y'all were drunk at a bar and she was rebounding to get over her ex, etc.

Men are often more likely to pretend they want a relationship to get sex, and then ghost so they don't have to explain themselves.

That's, IMO, what a pump and dump is.

[–]WYenginerdWY 28 points29 points  (107 children) | Copy Link

Men are often more likely to pretend they want a relationship to get sex, and then ghost so they don't have to explain themselves.

I've seen men openly admit that they would go as far as proposing to a woman with no intention of marrying her to keep easy sex on tap. I think the vast majority of them however pretend to operate in an ambiguous "gray state" where they pretend they're evaluating the woman for a relationship and kind of string her along until she gets tired of it.

[–]Mobrowncheeks 19 points20 points  (74 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I would say that 90% of men know whether or not they will commit to a woman within a month of seeing her, usually they just won’t say anything about a relationship if they want to maintain a sexual one with her

[–]OkListen4878 4 points5 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

They do this because they know women won't give out sex very easily, and it would play with the woman's mind, as women are in general more LTR oriented and that's what they ideally want. Some won't even have sex outside a committed relationship.

[–]Mobrowncheeks 4 points5 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Nah. Sex isn’t hard to get from women who like you. You don’t have to act a way, that’s all a lie

[–]WYenginerdWY 5 points6 points  (60 children) | Copy Link

I think we call that "lying by omission"

[–]Mobrowncheeks 9 points10 points  (52 children) | Copy Link

Nah not really. Cause you tell the truth when asked

[–]kaiden08 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s the name of the game these days.

Hey if you don’t ask a direct question then you’re the one guilty of poor communication

[–]PaliantRed Pill Man 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Women that keep guys in the friend zone are also lying by omission by leading him on. Friend zone vs “fuck zone” at least the chick gets sexual fulfillment. Guy in the friend zone just gets his time wasted.

[–]Throwawaway314159265Pillbox 6 points7 points  (28 children) | Copy Link

go as far as proposing to a woman with no intention of marrying her to keep easy sex on tap

This only works when the woman is weaponizing or bartering sex for commitment.

Fucking him because they think he is sexy vs fucking him because they want commitment.

Men aren't machines you put sex tokens into and get commitment from.

[–]WYenginerdWY 1 point2 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

Men aren't machines you put sex tokens into and get commitment from.

How you conflate that with what I posted, which is men outright lying is just chef's kiss.

No man who lives by the sex tokens bullshit is a man any woman would want a relationship with anyway.

[–]Throwawaway314159265Pillbox 1 point2 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

How you conflate that with what I posted, which is men outright lying is just chef's kiss.

Women outright lying about wanting nice guys in order to keep stringing them along for resources is the same thing.

No man who lives by the sex tokens bullshit is a man any woman would want a relationship with anyway.

Women being lied to about commitment for sex is prima facie evidence this is not true.

[–]localmicrodosechamp 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup. I've seen this too.

[–]Lucky_kidney 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Male here...dude... HOW can u do this to yourself.. i mean u do more bad to yourself than to the lady in the future.

[–]Crafty-Particular998 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn, that’s terrifying and awful.

[–]RahLyt 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

While this happens. I'd say women usually don't define what they want ahead of time.

[–]rhumel 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol it’s delusional as fuck. Somehow it seems like all women are this super human who knows exactly what they want from moment zero and just decisively communicate it to the man: I just want to fuck with you/I want a serious commitment with you. Right before having sex.

[–]rhumel 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What if they said nothing about a relationship (as usually is, it’s not like women go around saying “I just want to fuck with you” lol, that’s delusional of you), have sex and a couple of months later just dies off? What if the girl wanted it to be a LTR but the guy finally didn’t and just ended up being casual sex?

I mean no one promised nothing to anyone. They’re both adults deciding to engage in sex.

I’ve seen girls dealing with this situation very poorly, attacking the guy saying it was a pump and dump and the he used her… she did not.

Sometimes the girl just needs to be more mature about the situation: no one promised anyone anything, you chose to have sex freely, things didn’t end up were you wanted, he didn’t own you a relationship, just move on.

Now people can downvote me.

[–]fruitycoolwhip 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

most of the tome, i feel women are pretty forthcoming about wanting something casual

Not in my experience. This is anecdotal and speculative so if there’s no data to back up the claim you probably shouldn’t make it.

[–]throwawaylessons103 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This whole sub is full of generalizations/anecdotes.

I'll continue, but thanks.

[–]rhumel 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can do that, but be advised that I have met a girl who was specifically forthcoming about casual sex ONLY ONCE…. and she said that ONE MONTH after we were already fucking. If I were a girl would I be able to say I was being pumped and dumped?

The other girls just never said a word… like we were knowing each other, having fun and knowing were things were going… like we’re human beings having very common dating interactions.

Your “women are straight forward with casual sex” comes from a very obvious lack of women dating: you would never in a million worlds say that if you dated women.

[–]fruitycoolwhip -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean feel free to continue, it just adds zero value to the discussion. So have fun with that. All you’re doing is willingly demonstrating that your opinions have less value than the opinions of those who can provide peer-reviewed studies and statistics from census bureaus.

[–]MrMushySauce 13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

What is the question? Yes people of both genders have sex and don't marry the other person

[–]Fit-Faithlessness149[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's the narrative that surrounds the pump and dump depending on which gender does it.

[–]MrMushySauce 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To be honest I think that the 'narrative' depends who you ask

Male Bangs, Dumps Female

Men: Ok

Beta males: How dare you! (Visualizing it as their future wife :( while they're alone)

Women: That isn't right! (But they're largely just trying to shame away that behavior or even shame the guy into dating the girl depending on context)

Female Bangs, Dumps Male

The man it happened to and his friend it also happened to recently: Fuck women!

Other men: Ok

Females: That dude sucks! (But they're probably right since as some other poster said women do almost always date men they want to fuck... so if they're not interested in that with him, he probably did do something wrong)

[–]angryearthCertified Trainwreck™️ 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do men themselves call it a pump and dump? Who else is supposed to be talking about how you guys feel treated.

[–]rhumel 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is actually a good point. If we don't feel like we were being used then why does it even matter?

[–]fruitycoolwhip 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well it wouldn’t matter if they don’t feel used, the issue is that a lot of people DO end up feeling used.

[–]LotBuilder 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For most guys… a pump and dump means the sex was lame. It is what it is. If a girl is good in bed we are coming back for more.

[–]CocoBabeNYC 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

All the women here hopefully realize that by faking orgasms they are perpetuating a lot of bad sex habits and techniques? Please tell me you do realize that?

[–]chingness 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely but sadly we are not a monolith and as with many things us individual women have to deal with the repercussions of what other individual women have chosen to do 🤣

[–]CatoftheBanalsAttention whore with a heart of gold 24 points25 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

There's no double standard. When it happens to a woman, the invariable first response men give is: "you weren't good enough for a relationship," with "good enough" meaning not attractive enough, too annoying, boring, whatever fits the narrative...they'll keep digging until they find a way the woman was lacking. Combine this with the fact that like 90% of the men on this site don't care (or say they don't care) if they get used for sex and I fail to see the "gotcha" here.

[–]rhumel 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Could it be, hear me out on this, that maybe the man was truly trying to get to know the girl before committing and then found out they were not a match? Is any man who is not certain about a LTR with a particular girl he's dating just playing with her? It doesn't even have to mean the girl was "lacking", he just found out she is not the girl she was looking for, which just happens. Can happen the other way around and I would be ok with it.

Maybe we're just vilifying a very natural process of dating because it didn't end how one of the two people involved wanted it to end.

I'm off course not denying that some guys are total shit and just lie to get sex. Those guys deserve some punching in the face.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

this, that maybe the man was truly trying to get to know the girl before committing and then found out they were not a match

Like how 99% of men who aren't chodes approach thing? Yeah what a thought lmao

[–]rhumel 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The thought of getting somehow emotionally attached to a person who, in the end, may not feel the same is frightening. I get it. I have that fear too.

I just don’t get why if a man suffers from it he just has to grow a pair, accept the girl owed him nothing and life goes on. But if it happens to a girl: then the guy is the devil, he used her, he lied to her (even if he didn’t tell a lie, even if she didn’t say a word, just because he ignored that she was looking at him with puppy loving eyes so he should have refrain from sex and getting to know her) and should be crucified.

It’s neither mature nor healthy behavior.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The thought of getting somehow emotionally attached to a person who, in the end, may not feel the same is frightening

Oh I've had that happen to me twice, it's not fun. But you get over it.

But if it happens to a girl: then the guy is the devil, he used her, he lied to her (

Yeah pretty clear double standard here

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Combine this with the fact that like 90% of the men on this site don't care

men on this site

this site

[–]EntertainerUseful408 -2 points-1 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Yes but in a scenario where the woman ghosts/leaves because the man wasn't good in bed is a gotcha because it would destroy a man's confidence.

[–]CatoftheBanalsAttention whore with a heart of gold 5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I don't know how men who aren't into a woman handle it when that woman contacts them after sex...I assume they don't actually say the truth ("you're annoying" or "you look terrible once the sun comes up"). They might say "not looking for anything serious" or they just cut contact and never respond. Likewise, I don't think women tell a guy "my orgasm was at least five time zones away," they just say "yeah, I don't know if I'm looking for anything serious" or they just don't respond.

Basically, aside from a few jerks who get off on demolishing the other person's confidence, men and women probably are evasive/lie/ghost. Which leaves the dumped party to fill in the blanks, whether accurately or not.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Likewise, I don't think women tell a guy "my orgasm was at least five time zones away," they just say "yeah, I don't know if I'm looking for anything serious"

I think you're wrong, I've been told I wasn't sexually compatible with a woman before after fumbling around drunk and failing to make her cum

[–]CatoftheBanalsAttention whore with a heart of gold 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok, but at least that can be blamed on alcohol and it’s more a “I drank too much and looked dumb” rather than a “I tried my best and she laughed at me.”

I think the former is easier on the ego. The alcohol is the problem, not you.

[–]EntertainerUseful408 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I mean obviously women aren't going to say that they didn't orgasm, that could open up a really weird conversation which women will try to avoid like men won't tell a woman the real reason. People just don't like to tell the truth but in a way that is to protect themselves and other people. Imagine if people told each other the literal truth, we wouldn't be able to carry on with our lives. The best way is to figure it out on our own.

[–]CatoftheBanalsAttention whore with a heart of gold 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I did once tell a guy the literal truth that his dick was too big and it was making our relationship unpleasant because I was avoiding sex due to the pain. In that select circumstance, yeah, honesty was well received.

However, there are some times for honesty and some where it's better to be tactful. Especially if there's something you don't like but you worry that saying it will cause the person to feel self-conscious, when really it's a personal thing.

[–]caption291 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Imagine if people told each other the literal truth, we wouldn't be able to carry on with our lives. The best way is to figure it out on our own.

Honesty is hard at first because people aren't used to it so they don't know how to react and get hurt by everything.

But after like 2 months, you get over your feelings getting hurt and conversations becomes multiple times more productive. Honesty has an intense barrier to entry, but once you get past that it's way better than the current system we have.

[–]Barneysparky 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do women not have confidence?

[–]EntertainerUseful408 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean a woman's confidence regarding her personality or something would be destroyed if a guy decides, she isn't worth a relationship. It goes both ways just about different things.

[–]TheEternalGhost 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think "you have a wide-set vagina and I could barely feel anything" would do much for a woman's confidence either.

[–]silkPJson 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess it’s because women are stereotyped into wanting relationships while men just want casual so when the situation is reversed people get confused

[–]SocietalEngineering 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The missing datum here is: men are the gatekeepers of relationships, women are the gatekeepers of sex.

Women have no need to pump and dump, because they themselves are the decision makers when it comes to sex. Women do something else - pretend to be in a relationship with a man but never putting out sex. This is the “pump and dump” equivalent for a women.

[–]chunksempire 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ha double standards all the time

Man doesn't want a woman with a high N-count = insecure.

Woman doesn't want a man who's a playa = smart don't invest in a cheater.

[–]rosephase 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a one night stand. One night stands can end up bruising egos. "pump and dump" is a stupid TRP and FSD concept so people have more reasons to be pissed at the gender they are attracted to. TRP and FSD want women to be sacred and hurt and not seek out one night stands. Which is why they have such negative and stupid terminology around the term.

You know who never gets pumped and dumped? People who only want sex out of sex... or you know, people who pursue one night stands.

[–]Throwawaway314159265Pillbox 2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

When it's a woman who ends things after sex it is NEVER referred to as a pump and dump. Invariably questions arise as to what did the man do to cause her to not want to see him again. Was he a terrible lover? Did he not take care of her needs? Was he not respectful of her boundaries? Was he a creep?

That's because women don't want the same things from men as men want from women from a macro perspective.

Men want sex, women want commitment. The male version of being pump-n-dump'd is the friendzone.

The friendzone is when a man meets a woman he wants to fuck and helps her out when she beckons (i.e. commits resources to her) and covertly expects her to make him her boyfriend and fuck him.

She of course knows this but continue accepting his resources and even flirt with him until he tries to make this contract explicit by making a move on her.

Then in order to make it seem like she is not the asshole, she offers up a "Let's just be friends".

You apparently were sexy enough for some woman who didn't want commitment to fuck, but for some reason she didnt want commitment from you nor did she want to see you again afterwards.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

You apparently were sexy enough for some woman who didn't want commitment to fuck, but for some reason she didnt want commitment from you nor did she want to see you again afterwards.

So why is this not a pump and dump?

[–]Throwawaway314159265Pillbox 1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

So why is this not a pump and dump?

It is technically a pump-n-dump.

It's not judged in the same way because the dual of a woman being pump-n-dumped is not the man being pump-n-dumped because men and women have different standards.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

That's what I'm saying. But it's only a pump and dump if they lied or mis represented intentions (either party as the mis representer)

[–]Throwawaway314159265Pillbox 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Outright lie certainly qualifies as pump-n-dump but you are going to have to be more specific with misrepresentation.

I find a lot of times that one party feels the other party misrepresented because they didn't follow the social norm.

For example, if I go eat at a restaurant, say I'm a tip-payer and then left $0.01 as a tip, did I misrepresent myself?

[–]Aimeereddit123 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women don’t walk around bragging that they do it, or make it a goal to do it. Usually a woman is disappointed or unhappy that things didn’t work out like she thought it would - even if it was her decision that it didn’t work out.

[–]midwesternMDNo Pill 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well from a strictly grammatical standpoint, generally it is the man that does the pumping.

I’m just being facetious. I do see the point you’re trying to make, and the double-standard in demonizing different parties for the same behavior is a little weird. But in a world in which women are effectively the gatekeepers to sex, it makes sense to demonize the man for pumping and dumping while giving the woman a pass for the same, with the implicit assumption that she dumped him because she wouldn’t want to have sex with him again, for whatever reason.

[–]Present_Pudding2329 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly, women can only pump and dump if they were on top!

[–]lowlifedougal 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yet another offshoot of an unregulated sexual market. Basically, you have options, you exercise those options, you compare the options and the process in which u weed out options is the pump n dump phenomena. The double standard serves to undermine the male sexual strategy in favor of the female. She can effectively contrast/compare sexual experiences, finances, social standing , genetics until she hits hypergamy optimization. However, The notion that her optimization point is unknown, distorted or inflated can undermine a female pump and sump strategy

[–]StarchRunnerToxic Vasculinity 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When it's a woman who ends things after sex it is NEVER referred to as a pump and dump. Invariably questions arise as to what did the man do to cause her to not want to see him again.

This is shit betas worry incessantly about, especially the ones that don't attract much in the first place.

I figure dating is like a net. Some escape, some stick around. You can improve yourself (tighten the net webbing) but escapes still happen a lot. Just how it works.

No woman is worth my time worrying why they didn't stick around, for the same reason I don't put stock in what people say and promise -- they change their minds all the time and are unreliable.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]PMmeareasontoliveNeither casual nor marriage 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think women lead men on to believing they're going to establish a relationship like men do, however.

Yeah, that's the key; were there expectations for more that a reasonable person would make. So, there's two ways this can be misinterpreted, 1. the woman thinks sex automatically equals some kind of commitment, or 2. a not terribly successful man will misrepresent his interest level because he hasn't gotten laid in years and thinks "if not now, when?".

I'm leaving out the "player" category of men because they are relatively small (though perhaps more focused upon by women).

[–]CocoBabeNYC 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not a pump and dump if there is no expectation of there being a repeat. A lot of men feel they need to lie to a woman and offer commitment in order to extract sex from her, hence why there is butthurtness afterwards. But in most cases men have already made the decision that they are not going back to the woman which is usually for one reason only. They don't really find her all that attractive or believe that because she slept with them easily, she must be a slut who does this with anyone and therefore had no standards, unknowingly committing a self own, because they consider themselves so worthless that they can't comprehend why a normal woman would like them.

And honestly, for a bunch of men who are on here crying that they haven't smelled pussy in years (or ever) and that they would take the first land whale to pay attention to them, you guys seem pretty keen on the idea that men reject access to easy sex so willy nilly.

[–]MasterTeacher123 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes the girl is just trash at sex lol, it’s not that deep(see what I did there🙂).If she’s fire in the sack he’s not gonna think

“Damn bro, I never want to sample that again”

Now I’m not saying he’s gonna wife her but he’s not gonna disappear off the face of the earth.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol right

I've never "pumped and dumped" because I was trying to get a one nighter, but I have not talked to someone again because they were trash in bed

[–]MasterTeacher123 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There are women who legitimately think they’re good in bed because the cums every time. It’s sad

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes it is. But most women don't think they have to put effort into that side of things

I can't tell you how many toothy blow jobs I've gotten.. literally only 2 or 3 out of all my partners have given me good bjs. I get it it's hard to shield your teeth when you have a penis crushing against both sides of your mouth but come on that's sex 101

[–]lunafox999 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sometimes the sex is very bad and there’s no connection.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. But Op is talking about the terminology though

[–]TryLambdaRed Pill Man 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s called the red pill…. Men are treated like disposable crap in modern society and blamed for everything

[–]SwaySh0t 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Most women who pump and dump ime usually caught feels too fast and would rather leave before getting left—a form self protection/preservation

I think more men than women pump and dump but for me I usually try to escalate to FWB or LTR if I’m really feeling her.

[–]LearnDifferenceBot 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

men then women

*than

Learn the difference here.


Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply !optout to this comment.

[–]GolcondaOni 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting. I kinda had this happen to me. The woman seemed super interested almost to her own dismay. She word for word said “im better than her”. She was expecting a hookup and I guess I showed her some of my personality.

[–]Lollerinos1000 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men's sexuality is predatory. If a woman ghosts you it's because you werent doing enough.

[–]rhumel 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are several situations where both parties engaged in sex freely, without asking for anything. Then the male just didn’t want anything more than that… and somehow he is in the bad. That’s not a pump and dump.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is not the same. Most promiscuous women look very average while most promiscuous men are very handsome and have above average looks. It is much easier for a average woman to have Sex with lots of good looking men, but very hard for an average man to have sex with lots f good looking women. Hell even getting average looking women is very hard these days. This is why women have much more responsibility when it comes to being promiscuous .

[–]DrinkItInMan11Red Pill Man 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because most of the time for men it doesn't matter if they got pumped and dumped, they still had sex. Whether they kept the woman around is irrelevant, they still got laid. Men tend to emotionally bond with the person after sex less than women do to.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Women rarely pump and dump because 90% of the time, they would date you if they're already fucking you

[–]CatoftheBanalsAttention whore with a heart of gold 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And if they want to date you and already in that mindset they are probably willing to give it more than one shot. Anyone can have an off night. So unless you were, like, trying to stick it in her ear or something you'd probably get at least 2 or 3 chances.

[–]EntertainerUseful408 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not true, a woman that wants a relationship with a man will make him wait and many women know that a man would pump and dump which is why you see women withholding sex because they want to make sure a guy is in for her not for the sex.

[–]flapperfemmefataleew gender roles 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Hell no. If I fuck a guy outside of a committed relationship, he has zero chance.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So you're saying he needs to be your bf before you'll fuck?

[–]flapperfemmefataleew gender roles 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No, I'm saying that if I've used him for sex, he's already been ruled out for a relationship. If I had wanted a relationship with him, I would have pursued that before having sex.

[–]GolcondaOni 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yuck.

[–]loke2dabrain🕶 🥃 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women who "pump and dump" belong 2 the streetz

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]Fit-Faithlessness149[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😂

[–]Physical-Pie748 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

the reason for that is, because the men did win. he got what he wanted. most men want sex without commitment, if they get sex without commitment they win , because in most cases, the women are the ones who want commitment after sex. so its always the men who does the dumping, not the women. and IF the women dumps him, he also did win because he could get sex without commitment.

[–]Lateralanouncer 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

One is being pumped, and the other is being dumped. Only a male simp will be concerned about how she felt afterward. He nutted; she got the nut, what else matters. If you didn't get the memo dating in 2020+

https://youtu.be/EtcC5S7hZpw

[–]SuperSaiyanAssHair 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ahh those good old videos from 8 years ago, back when women still didn't realize we were catching on, and made it obvious.

[–]Lateralanouncer 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, the classics, with the where have all the men gone videos. I'm still laughing today.

[–]loganmacoy -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because it is usually men fault ... And women are rarely accountable for their actions

[–]banjocatto -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When it's a woman who ends things after sex it is NEVER referred to as a pump and dump.

It's never referred to as a "pump and dump" by other men. Maybe they don't understand the dynamics of the situation, or maybe their egos don't allow them to admit that women are just as capable of using men for sex.

[–]localmicrodosechamp -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

>When it's a man that ends things after sex this is invariably called a pump and dump. The narrative is that he was using her, he's a player and has somehow wronged the woman.

bc men do this overwhelmingly? and more importantly its a big part of male culture to talk about how much you love sex with women but then to criticize those or all women in the same breath.

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[–]dump_in_a_mugPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never been "pumped and dumped", nor do I believe that I ever did that to someone else. It's definitely happened to friends of mine before.

I did; however; go on a date with a guy who declined to tell me he was married. I never saw him again once I found out, and, fortunately, I never kissed or slept with him. Felt gross about it, though.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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