Q4ALL: What kind of men DON'T have the provider instinct?

Eastuss · 2017-10-26T08:39:43+00:00

I don't think there's a direct "provider instinct", the behaviour appears because of multiple environmental and instinctive reasons.

In a couple, both are supposed to cooperate and provide, but since the man often earns more money, he'll be provider on the money aspect. And then, society and moral makes it expectable that the man provides. I don't know a single man that is willing to provide for a woman for no freaking reason, but I know women who expect men to provide for no freaking reason than the privilege of their presence.

Instinctively, men will change themselves to solve a problem, while women will change their environment to solve a problem. Which means that when the woman doesn't have enough money, the man will provide, and the woman will make the man provide. But when the man doesn't have enough money, the man will work it up, but the woman will leave.

TRP tells you that these societal and moral codes are bullcrap, that you shouldn't over cooperate in any way (commitment, money, general availability) because the other expects you to do so for free and that is just bad for you. And for those men who do not have the instinct to change themselves instead of changing the environment, well they stay incels because they're not manly enough.

Especially, marriage is a shitty deal, because there are obligations toward your resources but there is no obligation on her hand. You are wealthier, therefore your money prevails. You are polysexual, but you are supposed to be faithful. She is hypergamous, she can leave at any time with your money, there's just no restriction on her hand about what matters for her and about what she possesses. I believe marriage would be great for lesbians who have feminine goals. For anybody else, including women with masculine goals, it's just bad.

We could argue that all this may change once women are as wealthy as men, but it's unlikely to happen because of hypergamy isn't a societal acquired trait.

2017-10-26T12:27:13+00:00

From what I can tell many of them are on reddit. I’ve seen many freely admit that just getting by, don’t bother me with anything is just the kind of rootless and solitary life they prefer. I can’t say I know many people like that. I mean yes I know a couple people who decided that after college they’d just work on their drug habits and work crappy service jobs but they still go home for the holidays and the annual family ski trip. If a guy doesn’t want to get married and take care of anyone or anything then I guess he should just say that up front. I can’t relate to people who don’t want to integrate their lives with other people in a lasting and meaningful way or that don’t even want to build anything. Maybe I spend too much time with architects.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-10-26T09:29:37+00:00

People will go out of their way to NOT have a full human experience; just to protect their pristine, reflective ego. They will kill their hopes and dreams and wonder why theyre so fucking angry.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-10-26T13:20:34+00:00

There is no "provider instinct", there is a protector instinct

2017-10-26T16:33:24+00:00

Provider instinct for 'their' tribe.

We all have it, question is, are you in our tribe?

wtknight · 2017-10-26T12:51:09+00:00

Men with personalities on the cynical and distrustful side in general may have a muted provider instinct. If certain men don't trust women and think that the custody rights for the offspring who are their heirs can be taken away from them easily, then their incentives to provide may not be as strong, and income they make is more likely to be spent on themselves in a self-centered manner rather than saved and then used for future offspring.

Men with confidence issues about interacting in the real world would also have a muted provider instinct. I just read an article about how many men are playing video games these days and not out interacting in the real world trying to find jobs, attract a mate and eventually have a family. Essentially, these men do not have the confidence and desire to interact within the capitalist system and the demands that are placed upon them within it. The issues could be internal and psychological, or external and due to the labor pressures and changes of the capitalist system, but likely they are a combination of both of these.

darla10 · 2017-10-26T12:54:19+00:00

My ex husband.

SmurfESmurferson · 2017-10-26T13:15:38+00:00

Most younger men don't have the provider instinct. Men born after, say, 1985 don't seem to have it. (It isn't really an "instinct", it's more a set of learned and culturally ingrained attitudes and behaviors, I think.)

They don't have it because they don't need to develop it. Nor do they need it to attract women. They need Game to attract women, and that's where more men are developing, if they're developing at all in the realm of intersexual relationships.

BokehClasses · 2017-10-26T15:40:23+00:00

What kind of men DON'T have this provider instinct? What kind of men really push away the idea of having their own family? What kind of men are turned off from sharing their money with his wife/children?

Very simple to answer. Men who are unplugged from the matrix.

Human brains have a large degree of neuroplasticity. Humans have the capability to rewire themselves. This is how we are able to quit bad habits, or control our lust.

As a human you are capable of going against your biology. And only men who have reached this stage can forgo the provider instinct willingly.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-10-26T18:56:48+00:00

Short answer

MGTOW

Long answer

If you mean provider as in "male breadwinner, men protects women, love flows down respect flows up" then that falls in most non-traditionalists. I consider myself non-traditional in this way too.

If you mean provider as in "I am willing to give for the ones I love" then the people who don't have that are usually bitter MGTOWs and other people not worth dating.

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tempuserthrowaway5 · 2017-10-26T09:18:10+00:00

I'm not aware of anyone male or female who feels deeply obligated to provide for another adult outside of special circumstances. Plenty of people will provide for one another if they have the luxury of having extra in order to do it, but I wouldn't call it an instinct.

BPremium · 2017-10-26T11:11:46+00:00

Chad

pinkgoldrose · 2017-10-26T15:09:45+00:00

Men who are over reliant on their mom, men who don't pay child support, misanthropes, men who just want to be single, normal clueless betas.

Hungry_AF · 2017-10-26T11:46:21+00:00

Unworthy men.

namdeirfnotlim · 2017-10-26T12:10:55+00:00

There may not be a man who exhibits zero provider instinct, but there exists a range of behaviour. Some of it is probably genetic, some of it socialised. If women choose to have kids with provider men, kids will have provider genes, and they'll grow up to be socialised to be provider men in that family. If women choose to have sex with non provider men, the kids will have non provider genes, and they'll probably not be socialised to be provider men. The latter is what's happening. Within a few generations you'll have a completely dysfunctional society.

sadomasochrist · 2017-10-26T12:33:36+00:00

What kind of men DON'T have this provider instinct? What kind of men really push away the idea of having their own family? What kind of men are turned off from sharing their money with his wife/children?

One who values freedom above all else I'd imagine.

sadomasochrist · 2017-10-26T13:05:37+00:00

It's said that men still have provider instincts even in a modern feminized society.

That's because provider instincts serve the feminine primary interest. It's AF\BB, which is STR\LTR or Protector\Provider.

Provider = BB = LTR = Provisioning = Comfort

The answer has nothing to do with a "RP" guy. The kind of guy that isn't interested in being a provider is a male only interested in short term relationships, pumping and dumping women. That is a STR\Protector\AF.

This is why MRP is not actually under the TRP umbrella. Because even when you're a "silverback patriarch" you still are a provider.

You can downvote this all you want, but this is the black truth that most men are not willing to accept. They're willing to accept a lot of black truths until they realize there is no way out of the provider paradigm until they stop using women to validate themselves and stop looking for mutually exclusive arrangements.

kkohl98 · 2017-10-26T13:52:22+00:00

The whole "provider" thing is bullshit. You are trying to apply evolutionary psychology to last ~5000-10000 years of human history. Human history that spans 200 000 years. And that's just the homo sapiens. Something as basic as instinct probably became "set in stone" even earlier.

Don't try to find "explanations" in modern, sedimentary agriculture humans. Look for them in hunter-gatherer tribe humans. That are the conditions we "evolved for". Not agriculture, not nuclear family unit, and not fucking money!

2017-10-26T14:22:04+00:00

Entitled douchebags.

Nothing to do with awareness or TRP.

2017-10-26T17:29:32+00:00

I've never dated a guy who had any sort of provider instinct.

2017-10-27T13:27:51+00:00

What kind of men DON'T have this provider instinct? What kind of men really push away the idea of having their own family? What kind of men are turned off from sharing their money with his wife/children?

A crappy guy who I want nothing to do with.

There, I said it.

OfSpock · 2017-10-26T11:50:21+00:00

Lots of them. See my post "Men Are Lazy".

Title	Q4ALL: What kind of men DON'T have the provider instinct?
Author	vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes	4
Comments	58
Date	October 26, 2017 8:15 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-what-kind-of-men-dont-have-the-provider.1174710 https://theredarchive.com/post/1174710
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/78u63w/q4all_what_kind_of_men_dont_have_the_provider/