Q4M - If someone asked you to help them find a "nice" potential romantic partner, what would you look for?

Pope_Lucious · 2019-06-21T18:37:54+00:00

“This girl is single with no kids, and as far as I know hasn’t stabbed any of her exes”

Christian_Kong · 2019-06-21T19:23:24+00:00

I would look for someone who is a looksmatch for them, and if I can find someone who has a history of being a nice seeming girlfriend/boyfriend to their exes and others, but that is not always an option.

petrichordium · 2019-06-21T19:16:03+00:00

High empathy, good work ethic, no crippling mental disorders or addictions, smart, honest, loyal, and willing to throw down when it counts. Basically the character of Ashitaki from Princess Mononoke.

Attraction is necessary but it does not mean those above qualities are subservient. If you want a good man, character is non-negotiable. It's the priority.

hinabestwaifu · 2019-06-21T18:52:31+00:00

I would find him a woman that’s suffered intense physical or psychic trauma and is in a semi vegetative state. I would tell friendo “she ain’t exactly nice but this is as close as it gets with women”.

I would also try to deal with her tear ducts somehow just in case some small part of her inside is just constantly screaming — seeing tears form during her otherwise silent starfishing could be a turnoff

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-06-21T19:31:58+00:00

I'd find him a nice frumpy girl that would be able to keep up with him on his anime and Nintendo games. i'd make sure she could follow his dork hobbies. And I'd also make sure she's in a similar field of programmer. Librarian chick MAYBE. Depending on what kind of chick lit she likes.

NockerJoe · 2019-06-21T22:33:09+00:00

I would probably find them someone thoroughly average. Either they'll take it and be happy or we can have a conversation on what they really want.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-06-21T23:48:06+00:00

I'd take her likes into consideration, as well as get a feel for what type of "look" she's interested in, and go from there.

Personally, I think it's very difficult (and somewhat unrealistic) to picture someone in your head and then go out searching for them. It's unlikely that you will find someone who fits your exact specifications, and people can sometimes be pleasantly surprising. A lot of people end up with an SO that they never would've pictured themselves with. Therefore, if someone is actually going to help, that help is probably going to have minimal impact on their success. They have to experience life for themselves, and in doing so, they'll find someone. Maybe.

Barely-moral · 2019-06-21T19:00:15+00:00

Nothing. If someone asks me to find them a "nice" potential romantic partner they have no idea what they are looking for.

Either that or they suck at communication. "Nice" is not enough of a description for me to start looking.

I would ask that someone to be specific. Either define "nice" in a way that is useful or add more characteristics to the list.

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NOTSM · 2019-06-21T18:41:05+00:00

I’d find them someone with those traits that’s in their league lookswise.

wtknight · 2019-06-21T18:54:11+00:00

I’m supposed to find a woman a guy? He’s just going to be someone whose personality I like, because I can’t judge when a guy is attractive or not. That’s something straight women can do in regards to women, but not something straight guys can do in regards to guys. Besides, women’s tastes in what is attractive in a guy vary so much. For instance, I’d pick out a guy in shape, yet some women claim they like dad-bods.

petrichordium · 2019-06-21T18:59:13+00:00

I mean sure, but i would personally downplay the level of attractiveness versus agreeability.

If he said he wanted someone “cool” or “exciting” i would take those euphemisms to mean Physical Attraction mattered more than if he said “Nice.”

I mean, all of this is predicated on the idea (even within this goofy hypothetical) that any friend of mine asking for the matchmaker experience can’t afford to be too choosy in the first place.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2019-06-21T19:31:14+00:00

Nice isn't enough of a description, and men would probably use a word more like decent. Either way, "Good luck brother. May the odds ever be in your favor."

songofmelancholy · 2019-06-21T19:37:20+00:00

i know my friends. i'd stay the fuck out of this request.

because i would tell them the kind of man they NEED and they'd get offended. no thanks.

blackedoutfast · 2019-06-21T20:13:33+00:00

actually i've had this exact situation happen a couple of times. and i always intentionally suggest that he ask out some girl we mutually know who is fat or ugly or old or whatever. and the dude always starts stuttering and blubbering trying to come up with some excuse why that particular girl isn't acceptable even though she supposedly meets all of his politically correct criteria.

i'm willing to help out a friend, but step one is dropping the blue pill beta NiceGuy™ bullshit. step two is telling him something about how even a "nice" girl could potentially do evil shit to him just like his last girlfriend. AWALT.

and if a female friend asked me for help i would either laugh and ask if that was her awkward way of trying to hit on me, or tease her by suggesting some ugly creepy dude.

PMmeareasontolive · 2019-06-21T20:38:06+00:00

She has to be acceptable across categories. So at least average in appearance.

She doesn't have to be "pretty" depending on what that means. She can be from the broad pool of average looking people. She just has to have a decent personality and clean up well.

Edit: the one category she has to be exceptional in is "nice". I don't think that's a neutral term at all. It's not terribly hard to achieve but to do it well consistently takes practice.

[deleted] · 2019-06-21T23:22:59+00:00

I guess I'm asking men if your male friend said he wanted a "nice girl" wouldn't you assume he also means a girl he's physically attracted to? And so you would be on the look out for a "nice girl" who is "pretty", no?

He said a nice woman. But I would look for a nice woman. Someone to be pleasant with.

Her appearance would obviously come into place, she cannot be hideous... that is not nice to be around.

However I would not look for a pretty woman either. I would look for what was asked of me... a "nice girl". i.e. if she is nice to be and above a 4/10 I would consider her.

If a female friend or family member said she wants a "nice guy," would you try to find her a "nice guy" she would find handsome/attractive, or just any man who is "nice"?

If I didn't understand women, I would use the same case as above... but I understand now that the definition of a "nice guy" to a woman is "7+/10, rich, famous and powerful (probably masculine too, depending on her sexuality)" so I will probably look for that.

decoy88 · 2019-06-22T09:10:47+00:00

I don’t think I would have attraction at the forefront (it’s hard to properly judge when you’re straight). But I’d use their previous bfs as a benchmark.

Some of my friends reject guys from pictures that weren’t too different in attractiveness than their exes. It’s hilarious

[deleted] · 2019-06-22T12:15:12+00:00

I wouldn't interfere and would tell him to find his own mate.

Five_Decades · 2019-06-22T14:58:44+00:00

The traits listed in this book, which is about looking for high RMV traits

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/36160628-the-tactical-guide-to-women

rasmelo · 2019-06-28T00:28:53+00:00

I would look for someone nice and around the same level of physical attractiveness as the person asking. They may want a 10, but if they are a 4 I will look for a 4. Ultimately these are the best matches anyway.

[deleted] · 2019-06-21T18:54:30+00:00

Well this is the whole problem now isn't it. Matching people up correctly right? You know what gets in the way of that.
1. Hypergamy 2. Disney fairytale brainwashing 3. Media brainwashing 4. 3rd wave feminism brainwashing 5. Unrealistic expectations.

sadomasochrist · 2019-06-21T20:16:20+00:00

And so you would be on the look out for a "nice girl" who is "pretty", no?

Women only need to pass the boner test, you don't need to max out stats like a woman does to stay in the evolutionary envelope. So "not ugly."

And hot and "nice girl" are almost never overlapped.

But regardless, this post is nAWALT. I'd have to have a much longer conversation with this guy to explain that there isn't really a such thing as what he's probably looking for.

Title	Q4M - If someone asked you to help them find a "nice" potential romantic partner, what would you look for?
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	13
Comments	84
Date	June 21, 2019 6:35 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/c3ei1i/q4m_if_someone_asked_you_to_help_them_find_a_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-if-someone-asked-you-to-help-them-find-a-nice.255190 https://theredarchive.com/post/255190