Q4M: The Creepiness Factor: What would you tell a woman you’re close to?

jax006 · 2021-03-25T23:29:12+00:00

Had this happen with my ex once lol it was honestly depressing, dude was acting strange talking to us while we were at the dog park, obviously some kind of asperger's or similar

I got so fucking annoyed when she joked about him being creepy and rapey. If anything just because I used to be a much more awkward dude so have a little bone to pick with that kind of thing

That being said of course I wouldn't tell her to "trust the guy" or anything, he was a random dude, but I think the snap judgement some women have is just disappointing, makes me lose my blue pill faith in humanity to be decent to eachother

geyejoe7 · 2021-03-25T23:46:16+00:00

I had those situations.

I even had a situation where a guy that a girl was going out with got "suddenly creepy".

I had a situation where my good friends Ex boyfriend and me had to come to her house, because a guy she was going out with turned creepy and got a bit frustrated with her. He came to her doorstep and cried and begged for her to come out. Banging on the door.

So my friends ex and I came to scare him away. Because he was really freaking her out.

You gotta take action. As a man, you gotta help your female counterparts because sometimes they can't help themselves.

OXOzymandias · 2021-03-26T00:22:46+00:00

I would just like people to not use the word creepy for a dumb short weird interaction who happened, so i do have an issue with how easily some people can just stamp this mark on other people.

Like idc about what she/he wants to do, if she/he wants to avoid someone ? fine idc? but dont put a label on someone esp if you have no proof to back it up

Like people are acting like having a reputation of being a creepy dude/chick is not something who can damage your life...

Pilling_it · 2021-03-25T23:35:16+00:00

Given how the men of this sub feel about women describing a guy as “creepy,” how would you handle it if a woman you cared about came to you and said that a man was “creepy” and making her uncomfortable?

I'd ask to detail what factually is happening.

The girl can be anyone - girlfriend, wife, daughter, sister, mother, whatever - but she’s someone you genuinely care about. Not a random classmate

I don't want to make decisions for people though. I'd just tell her "here's what I think of it, make what you will with that".

Would you tell her to trust her gut and avoid the guy?

Try to talk her out of trusting her instincts and play Captain Save A Creep?

How would you respond?

Context. I can't answer that without specific context.

S0mnariumx · 2021-03-26T02:19:43+00:00

Most of my friends and my sister have good heads on their shoulders so I'd take their word for it

2021-03-25T23:29:19+00:00

"Alright let's stay away from him then."

No reason to start a confrontation over a women being emotional or else we'd constantly be in confrontations.

kingsman345 · 2021-03-25T23:46:02+00:00

Depends what he's doing. But in general I think its best to be kind to everyone. Similar rationale I would advise being kind to homeless beggars on the street, even if you're not going to give them money. They either mean you no harm, or they are dangerous and being a jerk might only egg them on.

2021-03-26T00:09:02+00:00

Depending one what he did to make her feel that way. I'd say stay away and be cautious but dont spread rumors about him to her friends or anything unless it's really warranted.

Danger3214 · 2021-03-26T00:24:55+00:00

Support her and tell her to trust her gut.

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-03-26T02:49:00+00:00

I'd say trust her instincts. The women i know don't throw the word around lightly. They know how to describe other kinds of behavior, like awkwardness, with other words. When they say something's creepy, there's a high likelihood they are correct.

However, the word gets abused online, where basically everything is creepy. It's often a rhetorical tactic. As such it's purpose is to win arguments, and it is not overly concerned with accuracy or what's true. This is probably where the objections arise.

tl:dr; everything is creepy online.

2021-03-26T03:28:06+00:00

Girl tells me some guy is creepy and she thinks she should stay away from him...

Okay? Then fucking stay away from him. What, do you need my permission or something? Should I go get in a fight with some random dude because a girl said he was creepy?

Wtf am I supposed to do about it? I'd tell her to do whatever she thinks she should.

You want to be an adult then you gotta make your own decisions.

squidhandss · 2021-03-26T04:31:40+00:00

I was called creepy, despite not doing anything wrong. I believe people felt creeped out by me because of my homeliness and aspergers.

In high school, I looked like the genetic offspring of Sissy Spacek and Amy Schumer. Well behaved 4.1 GPA student. I still kind of look the same except my skin is clear and my hair is brown.

I evasdropped on a teacher gossiping about me to faculty like I wasn’t even in front of her, saying “squidhandss acts so strange. she’s so creepy, i don’t even know if she’s gonna do witchcraft on me!” the other teachers shrieked in laugher and agreed with her, “yeah there was always something off about her, her eyes are just soulless, like she could hex us all at any moment”

I suspect that if I were a boy, I would be accused of being a potential school shooter, stalker, or rapist just because of the awkwardness I emitted. I believe female privilege shielded me from the serious creepy accusations males get targeted with.

Bandit174 · 2021-03-25T23:56:06+00:00

I don't like it but I would probably want her to trust her instincts because I'd rather have her be too cautious than get hurt. Its still frustrating tho because I do think women's perceptions of creepiness have a strong inverse correlation with attractiveness. So I guess I wish women were just more consistent i.e equally as skeptical/uncomfortable towards attractive guys as they are towards average and ugly guys.

Barely-moral · 2021-03-26T00:23:04+00:00

how would you handle it if a woman you cared about came to you and said that a man was “creepy” and making her uncomfortable?

Ask for details. Ask to know what is he doing. If he is doing something I consider unacceptable I will deal with him. If he is not doing something I consider unacceptable I will ask this woman if he would find this guy creepy if he was doing the same thing but he was/looks like (insert whatever male celebrity here).

Then I would see what she says an call her on her bullshit if required. If the woman is an adult that is judging a guy as creepy because of his looks then she can deal with him alone. If she dares to call the police on him just for speaking while ugly that guy gets a free lawyer and a new friend right on the spot.

2021-03-26T01:03:49+00:00

How would you respond?

I would not give a shit. I'm not her fucking guardian. And i also don't respect her ability to size people up, because women are really bad at it. I'd probably size him up myself, just to be sure, but it'd move on back to whatever i really wanna fucking talk about. If she doesn't relent and move back to an interesting topic fast enough, i'm going to make fun of her.

Hoopy223 · 2021-03-26T01:18:44+00:00

50/50 bullshit vs Captain Save-a-Hoe.

I cannot recall any time that a woman in my life has had an actual stalker problem. Maybe there was one because it is a “thing” but its not coming up atm. However I can recall a ton of “creepy guy stalker” stuff that was imaginary.

Like this cokehead chick who claimed men were pissing on the outside of her apartment or my now-ex accusing me of stalking.

Women friends calling guys creepy is something thats happened in my presence, its always an ugly/awkward guy. Soooo don’t be ugly.

old_wise_man_ · 2021-03-26T00:41:02+00:00

Move on. Go to another place. Ignore him. If he tries to touch you, call the police. If he doesn't , leave him alone.

bowserfire73 · 2021-03-26T04:47:58+00:00

It would depend on her reasoning. Women tend to overuse the word creep. If the dude is stalking her or doing something else that is clearly wrong she should get away. If the guy isn't doing anything but happens to look weird then he shouldn't care.

SeemedGood · 2021-03-26T07:56:09+00:00

I would ignore her because I have learned that women have no objectivity in such assessments.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-03-26T01:36:49+00:00

I still hold to the belief that more often than not it does come down to attractiveness but yeah if it's somebody I'm close to I would just give her my advice to avoid him and tell him off not in a rude way but in a clear and direct way.

If I can see from a distance or something that the situation is uncomfortable I'll call the bouncer over ( if it's a random girl) or I'll step in myself if she's my friend, and even they weren't being followed or anyting, I have walked a couple girls to their cars and make sure they got away comfortably

NockerJoe · 2021-03-26T09:28:02+00:00

This depends entirely on context. I had an interaction with a guy I'd describe as creepy. But he just wanted directions to the nearest train station while not having great social skills and kinda not all there. Theres a difference between a local weirdo who talks to you about this or that and a dude who has actual bad intention. Being able to vet creeps without shutting down social interactions or rely on snap decisions is kinda a fundamental social skill.

I have a personal rule nobody gets into my home the first time I meet them because I literally can't know if someone is good or not in just one interaction. Some people I thought were creeoy turned out to be cool and vice versa.

zerofeetpersecond · 2021-03-26T10:52:39+00:00

The line between creepy and friendly is the line between Danny Devito and George Clooney. Creepy is any guy who isn’t hot or in possession of something women want in that moment.

wtknight · 2021-03-26T12:25:30+00:00

I’d probably ask her for details out of curiosity and tell her that she’s right to be concerned because I don’t trust most men.

2021-03-26T12:36:15+00:00

I'd probably tell her to trust her gut and avoid the guy.

Because mentally ill guys, unbalanced guys, and serial killers do exist.

But to women there's two kinds of creeps

1) The mentally ill guy, the unbalanced guy, the serial killer, the truly dangerous man (Rare)

2) The weird guy, the socially awkward and clumsy guy, the insecure guy, the inexperienced and immature guy, the NiceGuy(TM), the unattractive guy. The regular man. Harmless. (Common)

The first guy is the one you're talking about here. At least, I think so. Yes, he should be avoided.

The second guy she can handle just fine. She should not be coming to me telling me that a weird or socially awkward or insecure or unattractive guy or NiceGuy(TM) is making her uncomfy. She should not be talking about this to anyone. She should just handle that situation herself.

OwOFemboyUwU · 2021-03-26T19:00:33+00:00

I would tell her that just because he's awkward doesn't mean he poses a threat to you and to stop being such a stuck up egoistic bitch.

2021-03-26T20:48:56+00:00

i would get the facts and act accordingly/logically. dont start drama, but if its legit, then get her away from the guy.

Workaholiconew · 2021-03-27T01:33:31+00:00

I would do like I always do, note it, and just say whatever she feels like I should answer, be it a harsh "A gut feeling is not a reason" or "You go gurl".

I would probably know what the answer is, but 8 in 10 occasions women are not willing to hear my (or any man's) opinion of the truth, they just want to hear their own opinion in a deeper voice. Most women cannot even fathom the idea of disagreement with someone close, and react like it is some absurd offense, so, I abide or not based on what I consider most important in my relationship with the person.

If I think they are in some danger I say the truth. If not. I just keep it to myself and let them believe their fantasy. I hate doing that, but that is how women deal with people, they care more about the person saying it than the useful informatino from them. So I just tent to answer true information to men.

I do not think I am alone. As many men who have good social skills will lie in the face of their close female individuals. Rather than to disagree.

Kaisha001 · 2021-03-27T03:37:21+00:00

EDIT - to clarify something: I’m not saying she should treat him like crap or call him creepy to his face. Just what you would tell her if she confided in you about her feeling that he’s creepy and feels like neon “KEEP AWAY” signs are lighting up in her head

Except that's exactly what they do. They use creepy as an excuse to mock and denigrate others.

If they feel a man is actually a real threat, then you should respond appropriately. Get out of the situation, call the cops, move quickly into a public space.

But they never do that. Instead they talk and call names, huddle around each other to trade stories, take pictures to insult him on social media, etc...

Saying they're dangerous then refusing to take actual steps to avoid said danger is either completely disingenuous/manipulative, or utterly retarded.

stranglethebars · 2021-03-28T01:08:19+00:00

I guess I'd generally think that she should trust her gut (better safe than sorry), but it would still be interesting to hear more specifically what the supposedly creepy person did. While creeps do exist, so do drama people.

Murphysmongoose · 2021-03-29T18:57:27+00:00

Go with gut usually... But I would start asking questions, and trying to paint a box around him in my mind to decide if I think he's dangerous or not.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-03-31T16:40:14+00:00

Most of the time a creepy dude is someone already around women. Think a 35 yo BJJ trainer on at a college rec center. He’s most definitely creeping on some girls about half his age. Probably a lewd comment there, a little creepy touching here, and a little too forward.

2021-05-03T17:44:40+00:00

I’d trust her and ask if she feels safe, wants to leave, needs help, etc.

As much as we can get into the weeds of how a lot of men are unfairly shamed for appearing creepy without actually being so, we can’t forget that there’s definitely a reason for this. Plenty of men genuinely don’t understand boundaries or when a woman isn’t receptive, especially when they’re out drinking. Men can be really pushy.

I tend to take it at face value if a woman I’m with says a guy is giving her the wrong vibe.

PeskyHijinks · 2021-06-27T12:57:39+00:00

Hard to say. Women call men creppy for the stupidest of things. I've been called creepy for eating ice cream in public from a cone. I've been called creepy for walking my dog at night. I've been called creepy for buying apples at the store and reaching around a super rude and obnoxious woman who was blocking the fruit. I've been assumed to be creepy my whole life and people go out of their way to cross to the other side of the street so they don't have to walk near me. So it really depends and it's a boy who cried wolf situation. So unless it was someone I was very close to (like my mother, lady, or sister who I would confront the guy immediately for), I may not take them seriously. Sad, I know, but such is the current state of affairs.

Title	Q4M: The Creepiness Factor: What would you tell a woman you’re close to?
Author	SmurfESmurferson
Upvotes	13
Comments	135
Date	March 25, 2021 11:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mdbalw/q4m_the_creepiness_factor_what_would_you_tell_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-the-creepiness-factor-what-would-you-tell-a.1187648 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187648