Q4MEN: How do you expect your wife to contribute financially?

WhiskersNT · 2017-10-12T17:49:14+00:00

Reddish purple, under $100k. Not married but with a long term girlfriend who I plan to marry eventually. She makes about the same as me.

I don't keep tabs or anything, as long as she's not slacking I don't really care. We can make it work

theiamsamurai · 2017-10-12T17:54:44+00:00

Not that I'll ever get married, but if we both work, I expect it to be 50/50. Dream's for it to be 0 for me though, where she covers 100% and I'm a stay at home dad.

Scatre · 2017-10-12T18:28:07+00:00

purple pill, $100k, wife somewhere north of $60k

Wife works a professional job we both put 50% of our paychecks into a joint account that we use for shared costs like rent/utilities/groceries/ nights out that we're both on. The other 50% goes into our personal accounts for us to handle how we want. Sometimes that includes taking the other out etc.

bala-key · 2017-10-12T19:14:31+00:00

Married red. Mine: 230k Hers: 0

She should work. It's safer in case sth happens to me (or the business I'm in) and also for her mental health.

But she doesn't have to. We're lucky to have the option. I think it was good for the kids to have a full time mom. Working part time might also have been a good compromise.

SirNemesis · 2017-10-12T18:57:51+00:00

It depends on how traditional she is. If she is a modern strong independent woman then we split the mandatory expenses (rent / mortgage, medical, food, money spent on kids, and retirement savings, money spent on kids) 50/50. Anything either of us earns beyond that is personal discretionary spending that can be spent on one's own hobbies, clothes, etc. of course.

If she is a traditional woman (truly traditional, not just some modern strong independent woman pretending to be traditional when it suits her) then I'd be willing to provide for her. She'd have to raise the toddlers and cook and clean though. My only caveat would be to expect that she doesn't bring in too much student debt to the marriage.

I'm low six figures right now, expect to hit ~300k in a few years, and probably plateau around that wage (adjusting for inflation) through the rest of my career.

LewisCross · 2017-10-12T17:49:53+00:00

You're going to get a wide range of answers here.

When I first got married, I earned about 2/3 of our income. We lived on what I made and saved what she made.

When we had our first kid and for about 14 years after that, I earned 100% of the family income.

Since about 5 years ago, Mrs. Cross has worked part time as a sub teacher, earning about, oh, at most, 5% of the family's total income.

As the kids age, she'll probably go back to full time work, if she wants or needs to.

So it really just all depends on what you work out, really.

Scatre · 2017-10-12T18:13:46+00:00

We're commies in my house. We contribute according to our abilities and take according to our needs. I'll never understand couples who have separate bank accounts.

WhiskersNT · 2017-10-12T18:19:05+00:00

Some will dismiss it as a bit ''cucky'', but the best approach is to have a joint bank account.

It makes both parties more financially prudent, and generally prevents any petty squabbling about who pays for what.

theambivalentrooster · 2017-10-12T17:55:16+00:00

50/50 is the ideal income match because it causes the least friction if divorce happens.

I would not mind paying for individual accidental circumstances, or for birthday presents. I would mind paying for bad habits

black pill, student with no job zzz

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-10-12T18:04:31+00:00

How do I expect my wife to contribute financially, if I had one? Equally, or an observed willingness to actually contribute. If she notices that I'm paying for the majority of stuff, it would be nice (and sexy) to hear, "Don't worry, I got it."

I don't believe in "You buy this and I'll buy that." We should both be watching out for each other.

I am "Purple" Pill, and a student, so I'm broke :-D

Scatre · 2017-10-12T18:29:59+00:00

I'd like my wife to make nearly as much as me. 50/50

this is but one reason i'll likely never be married.

[deleted] · 2017-10-12T20:37:05+00:00

I expect her to contribute the upkeep of the home, all of the shopping, taking the vehicles in to their maintenance appointments, making all of our and the kids appointments, attending to them, cooking the meals, making sure the kids get to school and home, keeping the laundry clean, etc etc etc. I bring home a bit over 100k a year right now.

She's worked in the past but with no degree and no career she brings home like $15k a year when she works. I don't see any reason for her to work. Though now that our youngest is in school I do worry that she might get bored. She just reads a lot, fantasies and science fiction, though she prefers these hard romance novels that take place in fantasy settings. She plays a lot of video games and has gotten me to play a two player one with her (Divinity original sin 2). She also is knitting me another pair of socks and is still working on a big blanket and she's started crocheting they kids winter hats again. Oh and she's responsible for the budget. Which means she gets to clip coupons, find deals, and make sure everything gets paid.

Monetarily I pay for everything. She still does quite a bit and I'm glad I don't have to put a price tag on it and pay even more taxes. Already married. Blue pill.

ggbusiness · 2017-10-12T21:02:56+00:00

The only way I would marry is if the woman made significantly more than I did. Atleast 5x, but likely 10x, and I already make 6 figures in my 20's so good luck with that. I need that kind of large money incentive for it to be worth not fucking other women.

Entropy-7 · 2017-10-12T21:59:14+00:00

I am getting married November 19th. Because of our situation, she will have to quit her job around Christmas and then join me.

I identify as Red Pill but many TRPers would shit all over me for the way I am dealing with this.

We are looking to get all entrepreneurial but her contribution is mostly to keep my shit in order so I can make money.

I live in Asia. Looking at my salary at current exchange rates my income sucks. However, looking at the bigger picture of perks, lifestyle, and cost of living, I would have to make about $70k in North America to live like I do here.

Drippyskippy · 2017-10-13T00:00:28+00:00

Ideally it should be 50/50 (I am egalitarian after all). However, the problem with 50/50 or her making more is that she will respect you less. Especially, if she drops out of the work force for a little while to have a kid. She will always want you to make more money than she does, this is part of hypergamy.

On the other end of the coin, if you make considerably more than her, or if she is a stay at home mom. You run the risk of being divorced raped. As a man you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Pick your poison, monthly payments to your ex, or your ex not respecting you (which can have multiple consequences such as cheating).

I want to make it obvious that not all women are the same and these situations don't apply for all women, but these are the risks you take when it comes to marriage. You may say I have a biased opinion because I'm MGTOW, that is one way of putting it, the other way of putting it is that i'm too intelligent to take bad risks.

DashneDK2 · 2017-10-13T00:52:59+00:00

I don't expect anything. I'm not with her for the money.

FairlyNaive · 2017-10-12T18:17:31+00:00

I dont.
Red, slightly north of 300 atm

Whisper · 2017-10-12T19:10:42+00:00

"Wife"?

Heh.

No. Marriage isn't a contract now. It's a signed sheet of blank paper onto which terms are written by a third party, on dissolution.

No thank you.

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WestsideMoonWalker · 2017-10-12T18:27:07+00:00

As much as she is reasonably able to. I don't mind paying for fun dates and stuff. Aside from that, most things would likely be fairly evenly split. As far as what I am not willing to pay for, it really depends. I'm not even willing to buy a car for myself, and I'd prefer not to own a car. It really just depends on how much is being saved and invested, which both me and my partner are responsible about.

I'm a recent graduate who is also recently unemployed (like, in the last week), but my income at my next job will likely be between 45k and 75k (depending on the exact role and where I work), by 25, 100k would be feasible, but I'm not even planning that far ahead. With my girlfriend now, while we haven't combined finances or anything (since that is silly at our ages and being unmarried), it does seem like we have a good dynamic. She is quite responsible, so that is a plus. Her earning potential at the moment is similar to mine.

TheGreasyPole · 2017-10-12T22:05:07+00:00

Men, how do you expect your wife to contribute financially? (current or future)

Whatever she can ?

My wifes a professional, we earned roughly the same up until we get married (8yrs), then (because of promotions I got) it went to more like 66:33 (2yrs. A few years after that she had the kids, over that time she's either been on maternity leave (in the UK this can be up to 12m) or working PT (2 days a week). And that means it's been more 80:20 over that period (7 yrs).

But thats not a problem, she works like buggery. More than me. 'Cos a house and 2 kids under 8 and 2 days a week in a professional role... thats plenty.

Once both the kids are at school FT she plans to go back FT. Then we'd return to 66:33 or something. Although it might work out that she can stay PT, if I get more promos etc.

Also I might retire really early. And if I did our income would go to something like 50(her):50(savings from the years above).

RP, household income $100k-$200k.

statsfodder · 2017-10-12T22:50:19+00:00

Reddish purple. Over $100k for me and $50k for her, married 14yrs.

My main job pays for all the bills, my side business I do with as i please and her income is for household incidentals and her own spending. If she can't afford to buy something she wants then too bad. I bust my ass for my family and that is worth more than any trinket from a jeweller or florist.

couldbemage · 2017-10-13T06:52:13+00:00

No pill.

About 30k

Different strokes for different folks. They each contribute what they can, but final decision on all expenses is mine.

My partner of nine years makes a bit more than me.

My other partner has no income, is disabled, and really, the best she can hope for is Medicare disability, which isn't much, and she doesn't have it yet.

Both are wife material, in that I plan on keeping both as long as they live. (Though I expect to outlive both of them.)

There is nothing I wouldn't be willing to pay for either of them. But one has medical thorough her work, the other through her father. The only car we have is mine.

The unemployed one gets spending money by....

L0git3x · 2017-10-13T12:57:28+00:00

I dont see my wife or myself as a separate being. We are two parts of a team contributing to a team goal. "everyone must get a job" is nonsense. Id reframe it as "Everyone should participate in a way that is to their strength.

My wife was an accountant. She is now CFO of our household. My credit rating is amazing. I havent paid a bill in years. Our finances are dialed in. She is frugal with money and really good with it.

She was never going to be an earner over 80k at work. She isnt management material. She isnt cut out for it. Many arent.MOST arent.

I figure 80k is about where the amount she brings in would offset the value she provides at home. Plus she was miserable.

How else does she contribute?

She plays grocery store sales like it is the stock market I once went to the grocery store with her

"No I am going to get Diet Coke next week. It is going to go on sale next wednesday"

"How in the hell do you know that?" She knows what a good price is on EVERYTHING.

She cooks instead of paying for food outside. (That is a huge cost savings)

She takes care of our kids. Daycare for 2 kids would be an insane out the door expense.

All the bullshit stuff people have to do that is domestic. She does it or has it handled. I dont worry about any of it which frees me up for work AND both of us to have recreation time.

She probably makes more money by how she saves money than she would have if she was in a job and paid all the expenses of

She did a full balance sheet on our finances when we talked about her quitting to take care of our first child. and nailed down every cost associated with her going to work. Gas, dry cleaning, parking, etc.

When she ran those numbers it was like 200 a month. back 20 years ago.

It is worth 200 a month to not have the ass ache of not being a two earner family. We have peers that do it and they are way more worse off than we are at the age of having college age kids. We havent lived paycheck to paycheck for 10 years.

We also got rid of our debt too. Others embrace it.

All that shit is bluepill to me.. being a huge consumer.. leasing two 80k SUVs you dont need. credit card debt to buy chinese shit that breaks that you dont need.

all dumb crap.

I wish people would think of themselves as a team instead of two individuals co-habitating.

Of course everyone is told they must be independant.. dont rely on anyone else.

lol suckers.

bornredd · 2017-10-16T15:45:07+00:00

Married RP man here.

I make about 58% of our money, she makes 42%.

Together we are well over 150k/yr in a low COL area.

We put all money into joint accounts. She tracks day to day expenses and handles most of the purchasing. We review the budget every quarter to make sure goals are on track.

We consult each other anytime we are spending more than about $200. We always have the option, and there is no rule or anything to do so, we just want to let the other know.

Anything is on the table, but that is because we both know and trust that the other isn't going to be financially irresponsible. Our long term life goals are to be financially independent/wealthy, so we both put a ton of effort into it.

Note: we have been poor in the past and at times she made significantly more than me for periods of up to 18 months. Or had never been an issue.

Scatre · 2017-10-12T18:24:25+00:00

Men, how do you expect your wife to contribute financially? (current or future)

Don't care about money. Mostly that she's not sitting around and doing nothing.

For instance, do you expect everything to be split exactly 50/50? Or do you expect her to take care of herself financially completely (spending money, car, medical)?

Won't be keeping tabs. Just don't want to be USED for money.

What are some things that you wouldn't mind paying for her? What are things you would never pay for her?

I'll pay for the little things. But IDK about some of the bigger things like entire cars etc. Depends on what she is making.

Please state your pill AND your income bracket. If you're already married, please state your income and her income.

Black pill who agrees with some red pill ideology.

I'm in college atm but will be making 120k out of college most likely. (Now you guys understand why I'm so serious about plastic surgery?)

Title	Q4MEN: How do you expect your wife to contribute financially?
Author	vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes	7
Comments	260
Date	October 12, 2017 5:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-how-do-you-expect-your-wife-to-contribute.265320 https://theredarchive.com/post/265320
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/75yn0b/q4men_how_do_you_expect_your_wife_to_contribute/