Q4MEN: Why do men always persevere and spend years and years trying to fix a relationship problem?

DebatePony · 2017-09-07T14:24:59+00:00

Do they though? I mean isn't there a trope of a cheating husband and/or "trading in for a newer model"? How about trophy wives?

What about women who spend years of their lives caring for ill husbands?

Sunhappy_DC · 2017-09-07T14:12:44+00:00

lazy post is lazy.

sittinginabaralone · 2017-09-07T14:20:47+00:00

The same reason people stay at dead end jobs. They have no other choice.

theambivalentrooster · 2017-09-07T14:16:43+00:00

Sweeping generalization without a shred of evidence.

wtknight · 2017-09-07T14:26:09+00:00

Divorce usually hurts men financially more than it does women. Other than that, when there is a relationship that is not marriage, I've seen men cheat just as much as women do.

vanBeethovenLudwig · 2017-09-07T14:16:04+00:00

easy .

most men have a harder time getting women than women have ( or think they have) getting men.

also. womens sex drive is much more responsive - she has no particular need for sex if a guy doesn't do something to turn her head that way.

Or at least thats what I see here.

Il128 · 2017-09-07T17:23:25+00:00

Do not as a man ever try and fix a relationship. Fix yourself and move on.

EsauTheRed · 2017-09-07T17:18:41+00:00

IME I put way more effort into maintaining a relationship - but also policing the woman

Women IME will not take responsibility in a relationship or make much effort to maintain one, it's like pulling teeth to get them to admit they are wrong, it's better not to expect too much tbh

[deleted] · 2017-09-07T19:00:05+00:00

Only beta men do that because they don't have replacement options. Or married men who don't want to lose their kids and pay child support.

Most guys with no ring and no kids dump chicks at the first sign of trouble

single_use_acc · 2017-09-07T21:10:19+00:00

Because we actually put all the effort and time into the relationship; women don't have to do anything to get a new one.

We have much more invested.

[deleted] · 2017-09-08T12:58:11+00:00

I think it's just indicative power in the relationship - the person clinging on for dear life is clearly the one with less.

dicklord_airplane · 2017-09-08T22:19:13+00:00

i don't think that this is a gendered thing. i see plenty of women who do the same thing even while all of their friends tell them to get out.

when people do this, it's often because that's how their parents and other family members behaved. they grew up seeing fucked up, dysfunctional, incompatible relationships as normal, so they end up doing the same thing without realizing that they can choose to live differently.

also, i think a ton of people are terrified of being single and looking for new partners, especially if they have been in relationships for most of their lives. they feel like they won't be able to find another partner and will die alone, so they cling to what they have.

for guys who have been in relationships for long periods, they are particularly afraid that they will not find anyone to have sex with if they leave their long term relationships. and that's a legitimate fear for average dudes.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-09-07T14:15:54+00:00

Don't know, it didn't work for 8 years. Neither one of us appreciated it either. Idealism perhaps. Vows most likely.

Now it's self-improvement and working towards my life goals. My wife will stay or she will not. I'll be great either way.

Women branch swing because they are afraid of being alone. Running is a power play.

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MagicGainbow · 2017-09-07T14:24:49+00:00

Because they are expected/pressured to, to a lot of people I know (but equally left and right-leaners) any relationship problems are assumed to be the mans fault, thus, it is on him to fix his mistake.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2017-09-07T17:26:23+00:00

IME, it was b/c I genuinely loved her, and didn't want to start over looking for that again. Looking back, I think she was/is probably more on the autistic spectrum, and just slips by with it, b/c attractive woman with boobs.

Love8Death · 2017-09-07T17:20:14+00:00

The nature of male love is very different, as well as the lack of abundance mentality in most men.

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-09-07T23:06:20+00:00

Always? I wouldn't say always. Sometimes, the "shoe is on the other foot," with relationships. Occasionally, it's the man trying to "fix" it, or it's the woman.

Whoever wants to fix it enough will put in the time and energy to fix it. If it can't be fixed (or the other person doesn't want to have it fixed), they're probably better off going their separate ways.

Why the need to generalize over this?

Talkytalktalk · 2017-09-10T01:49:15+00:00

Only top tier men can monkey branch easily. Your average woman can do it easier than the average man.

Title	Q4MEN: Why do men always persevere and spend years and years trying to fix a relationship problem?
Author	vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes	2
Comments	82
Date	September 7, 2017 2:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-why-do-men-always-persevere-and-spend-years.266155 https://theredarchive.com/post/266155
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6ynfc8/q4men_why_do_men_always_persevere_and_spend_years/