Q4W: What do you think of FWB type relationships?

Mulkvistee · 2020-02-20T00:17:19+00:00

I don't understand the appeal. If I like someone enough to be friends with them, and I'm attracted enough to have sex with them repeatedly, I would have a crush on them. So I don't see a FWB situation being emotionally tenable for me, and I don't crave or value sex in itself enough to bother trying.

Don't care what other people do, but it's not for me.

lurkingconfused · 2020-02-20T00:46:12+00:00

To me, real friendship+sexual chemistry= an actual relationship. When I was dating it was the 80s and "FWB" wasn't a thing. From all I've seen from friends of both sexes, it usually looks like a dude keeping a chick around for steady sex, or a woman thinking or hoping it might go somewhere else. Both probably wasting eachother's time.

sublimemongrel · 2020-02-20T03:17:05+00:00

Neutral, enjoy yourselves If that’s what you’re into. No I have never been in one

rus9384 · 2020-02-20T03:30:11+00:00

Boring and add negative value to your life. I've had fwb-like relationships because I hate dating. I just ghosted them all after a little while because I just preferred being alone to their company. Now I just lift weights and snuggle with my 14yo cat.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-02-20T02:08:11+00:00

Not much, sounds like non-monogamists (e.g. 'weak monogamy') in denial. "Casual relationship" in the case of FWB's between humans unrelated is an oxymoron to me, it isn't that casual relationships lack the intimacy what 'regular relationships' have depending on the 'regular relationship', but that casual relationships lack the formality of monogamous deals: ethical and moral obligation to/of exclusivity - if a FWB situation has monogamous exclusivity without making a monogamous deal and agreement, there is no distinction between it and a regular relationship with medicore depth (common among young adults and less emotionally mature (or lack of) adults - for the few that have the emotional maturity and skill it serves as anxiety pills) in other words a suppressant from possible commitment ..

I think non-monogamists being aware of their biological non-monogamist and in some cases, poly proclivity (as studies have shown different brain activity) would reduce much of the problems we see today such as being paired with strong monogamist leaners, but this type of awareness and information is too much to ask of young people, or anyone really, and too difficult to determine, it is just not practical or interesting

Reisiluu · 2020-02-20T14:21:01+00:00

Never tried it. Casual sex is fine for people who like it but it's not enough for me. I want the whole package (exclusivity, good sex, romance, marriage, kids, house, pets, growing old together) and so far I haven't had to adjust my goals.

2020-02-20T03:10:10+00:00

fwbs really weren't that deep to me. it was just guys who were good enough at banging to keep me coming back, nothing more nothing less. it was always the guy who caught feelings, actually. my last fwb still hates me guts because i didn't want to be his girlfriend though i admit i let that situation get way too blurry

findingfemininity · 2020-02-20T00:43:03+00:00

All of my serious adult relationships basically started out as FWBs. I'm a have sex first ask questions later type of person. Out of the three people I had sex with after high school, only one never turned into an LTR. He was hot and fun but we weren't long term compatible because he didn't want kids. 🤷 Him and my first serious, long term ex were both people I met through friends. My fiance I met online.

Do you think casual relationships have a place in dating, courting, or whatever?

Sure. I don't think it matters if you do casual or only want serious relationships. Everyone is different. Just do whichever one makes you happy.

nemma88 · 2020-02-20T01:56:25+00:00

No I haven't and not really for me I think. I'm super invested in in my romantic relationship, I guess It's just a all or nothing deal.

You always hear stories about how one side catches deeper feelings, sounds exhausting to me.

rus9384 · 2020-02-20T02:38:50+00:00

No way. I need to be in love with someone to be that vulnerable and intimate.

Kittennoodle · 2020-02-20T02:40:24+00:00

They're not fwb, it's just what you tell yourself when you're rejected. I had one and yeah, expected more.

teibe · 2020-02-20T06:14:25+00:00

If a guy likes you enough to have sex with you and be your friend, why doesn't he like you enough to be your boyfriend?

callingtipsin · 2020-02-20T00:27:48+00:00

I have one very positive experience.

We met on the dancefoor at this gig, swapped number and had sex that night. He couldnt completely get it up (due to some pills) but the chemistry was out of this world. After that we spent two years seeing each other once a month for a kinky weekend, a bit of drinking and just generally having fun.

I eventually stopped seeing him because he was starting to get a bit annoying. We argued quite a bit when we saw each other and I was just loosing patience with him. We're still friends though and every now and then we will message each other pleasantries.

I eventually stopped seeing him beacuse he was starting to get a bit annoying. We argued quite a bit when we saw each other and I was just loosing patience with him. We're still friends though and every now and then we will message each other pleasantries.

I tried to find another FB but never managed to find one. I eventually met someone and fell in love and had a relationship for 3 years.

intersIn · 2020-02-20T00:37:25+00:00

I have done it. However, I felt the sex was better when I was in a committed relationship. More trust allowed me to be comfortable and willing to try the more risque stuff.

I think causal sex is good for people who do really enjoy sex and want a little variety prior to marriage. You don't want to feel like you wished you did a little more dating prior to marriage. Plus it's a good way to start to figure out what you would want in a committed relationship and what you don't want.

That being said I don't think it's done a great deal of justice to my gender. Now we have a bunch of men who think women should just jump out at them from their laptop, land on their dick, and be all wet and willing to go.

NarniaFox · 2020-02-20T01:10:00+00:00

I think it's good for people, who arent looking for LTR, but want to have sex and experience some level of intimacy and vulnerability with other person. I've never done it, my first relationship led to marriage and I'd probably not be interested in such kind of relationship. Though maybe if my friend was a girl, I'd try it out.

rus9384 · 2020-02-20T04:24:18+00:00

I tried. Too much "benefits", not enough "friend". Nah.

VexingTetrimino · 2020-02-20T05:13:15+00:00

aw man. i have a PhD in FWB.

i've had 4 of them from between high school to my current relationship, which started out as a fuck buddy.

the first one was an exbf out of high school. lasted on and off for a few years until i had a 3some with him and his friend.

the second one was the friend. dropped the first one because i wanted to try out a new playmate. lasted a couple years, on and off. only hooked up if we were both between relationships.

what can i say.... i needed to always have a reliable, non-disrespectful source of orgasms on tap. by definition this excludes ONS. i never wanted stranger dick.

benefits < risks = no thanks

the third one didn't last long. had promising fuck sessions at first but soon realized that my hunch was true that it was not a big deal for him if i didn't cum. the realization was enough for me to wanna stop making it work.

the fourth is my hubs! i do love him to pieces. we were fuck buddy status for maybe a year or more before we realized we were doomed to love each other. now we've been married for 11 years and have 2 kids. we even married each other again at our 10 year anniversary.

FWBs did turn out better than bfs because with bfs once you figured out they were selfish lovers it was much harder to leave or course correct. and in case you couldn't tell, a selfish lover is a deal breaker for me.

FWBs isn't for everyone but it worked out really well for me. i love sex and i love love but i don't think they need to go together all the time.

Jathrowaway97 · 2020-02-20T23:36:07+00:00

I don’t judge other people who do it but personally, it’s not for me. That’s not what I’m looking for. They definitely have a place in dating. They’re good for people who don’t want to commit but still want to enjoy sex intimacy beyond a ons/f-buddy situation.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-02-20T00:32:32+00:00

DivaHustlerPrincess · 2020-02-20T00:58:48+00:00

Never

Escorts are paid for their time, why shouldn’t I be? lol

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flamingoinghome · 2020-02-20T01:18:10+00:00

I've done it--it's the only kind of casual sex I'm really comfortable with. It only works, IME, if there's a major incompatibility that means you shouldn't be in a relationship (i.e. you're moving in a month; one of you is into polyamory and the other isn't, etc.).

Skratt · 2020-02-20T01:22:51+00:00

I think it's cute cause you can have the sex and the Netflix and chill stuff without worrying about commitment. As for dating, no...casual sex has no place anywhere near dating.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2020-02-21T05:04:44+00:00

I did it for a month but ultimately required a person who would commit right away so we could just fuck and be in love too.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-02-20T00:40:56+00:00

I avoided them in my 20s and 30s because I fancied myself a monogamous and preferred lengthy long term relationships. Once I hit 40 I preferred FWBs to ONS so I had a few. I had a kid living at home still and didn't want to date tll she moved out, so I opted for a few short term sexual relationships with long time friends. At their houses, not mine, naturally. Mr. Paisley started out as an FWB.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-02-20T00:09:41+00:00

[removed]

callingtipsin · 2020-02-20T00:14:55+00:00

Bad. Because too many people develop feelings for their FWB. Good if you just enjoy sex and aren't looking for it to lead into a relationship.

I'm older so FWBs wasn't a big thing back then. If I could go back in time, but with today's open attitude, I would have a female FWB but not male.

Casual relationships can turn into permanent so I suppose they do have a limited place.

Most people outside of the manosphere and religious groups realize that virginity doesn't matter and that people of all ages, from young to older divorced, now include sex as part of dating.

Title	Q4W: What do you think of FWB type relationships?
Author	_Neon_Shadow_
Upvotes	3
Comments	122
Date	February 20, 2020 12:06 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-do-you-think-of-fwb-type-relationships.338754 https://theredarchive.com/post/338754
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f6k2st/q4w_what_do_you_think_of_fwb_type_relationships/