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Q4W: What do you think of FWB type relationships?

February 20, 2020
3 upvotes

Title. Good? Bad? Have you ever done it? If so, how was it? If not, why haven't you? Etc... Do you think casual relationships have a place in dating, courting, or whatever?

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[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (43 children) | Copy Link

I don't understand the appeal. If I like someone enough to be friends with them, and I'm attracted enough to have sex with them repeatedly, I would have a crush on them. So I don't see a FWB situation being emotionally tenable for me, and I don't crave or value sex in itself enough to bother trying.

Don't care what other people do, but it's not for me.

[–]Mulkvistee🌮🧃👻7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Same, it seems like a minefield best avoided because of the whole feelings thing. I wouldn't want to experience that or be the reason someone else did. The fwb label is flimsy protection against feelings.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is protection not against feelings, but against oaths.

[–]catsuramen4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep. There's little to no benefit to me. I don't like sex enough to undergo all the risks.

[–]LSTW12341 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I LOVE YOU, AIN'T THAT THE WORST THING YOU EVER HEARD

[–]callingtipsin0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

You've never started having sex with a guy and he doesn't want more? Cause in his mind you're his fwb

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

No, I've never had repeated sex with someone who didn't eventually become a boyfriend.

But what I'm saying is I wouldn't intentionally enter a FWB relationship knowing that's all it would be.

[–]callingtipsin1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I'm saying that girls don't enter a fwb thing intentionally. A lot of other girls really think you'll be their boyfriend. They get real confused when you refuse.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well then it shouldn't be hard to understand why I don't see the appeal.

[–]callingtipsin-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've wondered why girls see the appeal. I even made it real bad for them. Yet still.

I've come to the conclusion that young women are very stupid and I no longer think they should be allowed to make decisions. Heck country girl they would go out with me.

I mean who other than boomers thought that young super horny teenage girls should be in charge of the next generation? I don't.

So I'm not

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hi bearsaint

[–]Jathrowaway970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If he didn’t ask you to be his girlfriend before sex then you’re probably headed towards an fwb situation. If a girl sleeps with a guy and doesn’t take this into account either she’s gotten really lucky or it’s wishful thinking.

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]callingtipsin0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

I think women don't connect sex with relationships.

I just don't think that's a connection in their head.

That's a guy thing. For women to have it a man makes them.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]callingtipsin0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Girls do but only in a bad way

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Jathrowaway970 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Female sexpats do it in developing nations they vacation in. They’re not paying for just sex though they’ll often want to have a boyfriend experience with the men. It’s the same with women who solicit gigolos in their own countries, they’ll pay the man to go on a date with them, court them and seduce them and then maybe for sex too.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

And if you have a crush, you want all that exclusivity stuff. I got it right?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is just your personality. There are those "possessor" type people incompatible with FWBs.

[–]Throwaway363737270 points1 point  (19 children) | Copy Link

How do you not understand the appeal? The point of an fwb is you get to have sex with someone you’re attracted to and trust without dealing with drama. You’re not really supposed to spend a lot of time “hanging out”. You meetup, chat for a couple minutes, bang and leave.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

That sounds more like a booty call than friends with benefits. I thought friends with benefits were friends who you hang out with socially/platonically and also have sex with. If you only see someone when you want to have sex with them that's not a FWB in my opinion.

Honestly a booty call type situation makes more sense to me than a FWB.

Either way I don't see the appeal because unattached sex is just not that important to me and I don't consider being in a relationship "dealing with drama." I'd rather just look for a boyfriend.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly a booty call type situation makes more sense to me than a FWB.

This was the core of the issue for me. Like, if you want to bang, by all means send me a text and if I also feel like fucking, thundercats are go.

But don't insult my intelligence by being like "o we can be friends!" when all you want is convenient sex (which is what happened in all of the "FWB" relationships I attempted). That will ensure that I do not want to fuck you anytime. lol

[–]Throwaway36373727-1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Ehhh. I’m a young guy and I’ve had some fwbs and typically we’d just chat about each other’s lives a bit, then hookup and go on our separate ways. I guess we have different ideas of an fwb. Also, I didn’t say being in a relationship is “dealing with drama”, I meant the drama of hookups, needing to make sure the person’s clean, etc.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ehhh. I’m a young guy and I’ve had some fwbs and typically we’d just chat about each other’s lives a bit, then hookup and go on our separate ways.

Again, I wouldn't classify this as a FWB, I'd classify it as booty call/fuckbuddy. Like, I get that that's what you call FWB but it's not what I had in mind when I wrote my comment.

I had friends in college who were what I consider FWB. They were actually friends, shared a social circle, hung out all the time, grabbed lunch all the time, etc. They were also hooking up but neither was interested in a romantic relationship. To me that's a FWB, someone who you're already friends with and also hook up with. Just meeting up for sex and having a brief conversation to break the ice or whatever isn't FWB in my nomenclature.

If you would never hang out with them if it weren't for sex, then they're not a friend with benefits.

I didn’t say being in a relationship is “dealing with drama”, I meant the drama of hookups, needing to make sure the person’s clean, etc.

FWB seems a lot more ripe for drama because you have to contend with the possibility of someone developing feelings, possible awkwardness in the social circle, etc. And it's not like your FWB can't have an STD, I mean they can sleep with other people too and I doubt you have them present a recent STD panel every time you have sex with them.

All that said, if it works for you that's cool. It's just not my thing.

[–]Throwaway363737270 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

You know your example of fwb sounds more like an actual relationship right?

[–]CatchPhrazeMaster Of Memeology4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's like a realsionship without defined boundaries and monogamy. It almost always ends sour with one person getting jealous or wanting more.

Here is the catagories to me:

ONS: you don't plan to see them again don't exchange contract information

Hook up: you exchange contract information or engage if in proximity again

Booty call: a hookup you've met with before and engaged with a couple times. Can contact if need be

Fuck buddy: you semi regularly or regularly contact eachother purely for sexual nature

Fwb: you can and have hung out without sex being the sole objective but don't plan to become seriously romantic or monogamous.

From there it moves into commitment level based classifications like dating, official, ltr, engaged, married. You know.

I think I see it how most women do. A fWB needs the f part to qualify.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Based.

[–]Jathrowaway970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s not a relationship though because you’re not exclusive and you don’t claim each other. So you’re friends with benefits.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Throwaway363737271 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well in my experiences with girls they’ve had no problems with the situation.

[–]Barneysparky2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's not a friend.

[–]Throwaway363737270 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes it is

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So, remove sex from that, and that's what are you are doing with you bros? Having a shirt talk with each other occasionally?

[–]NarniaFox2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

For that you have to really crave sex.

[–]Throwaway363737270 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I do really crave sex

[–]NarniaFox3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It doesn't work like this for all people, some of them can have sex only with people they are in love with, so it's understandable that they don't see appeal in just fucking.

[–]87AudreyHorne2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It sounds like a recipe for drama.

So much potential for jealousy from different ends whereas normal monogamy or a clean friendship seem pretty straight forward.

That's what I also find so weird about open relationship- people in them almost pride themselves of being more rational and open minded, not needing to "posses" each other etc but then in the next line get into how many rules and boundaries need to be set and how they have to have constant discussions about it. It actually doesnt sound easy at all.

[–]Jathrowaway970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought hanging out and stuff was a part of the deal? Otherwise they’re just a f*ckbuddy and not a friends with benefits. The one fwb I had took me on dates, would run errands with me, cook for me and was super helpful. From talking to other women who’ve had series of fwbs the guys do the same for them. If he just shows up for sexual only then you’re a bootycall. Not “friends” with benefits.

[–]lurkingconfused5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

To me, real friendship+sexual chemistry= an actual relationship. When I was dating it was the 80s and "FWB" wasn't a thing. From all I've seen from friends of both sexes, it usually looks like a dude keeping a chick around for steady sex, or a woman thinking or hoping it might go somewhere else. Both probably wasting eachother's time.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

How is a man wasting his time by doing that?

[–]lurkingconfused2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah you're right, more like he's wasting her time for the most part.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, if she wants marriage and kids.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Neutral, enjoy yourselves If that’s what you’re into. No I have never been in one

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Boring and add negative value to your life. I've had fwb-like relationships because I hate dating. I just ghosted them all after a little while because I just preferred being alone to their company. Now I just lift weights and snuggle with my 14yo cat.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

She likes knitting, he likes racing, there was nothing but sex that tied them together...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

No I've found people with similar interests and all that I'm just a bitch and like to be alone

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Eh, you don't like interactions with people at all?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Most of my hobbies are solitary (reading, vidya, art, music, exercise) so I like my quiet time. Guys will usually try to commit to me and see me more often so I cut them off after a while.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

More often than what? I like it about twice a week at most, maybe sometimes playing video games with Discord on top of that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dunno, the last guy I saw would have come over everyday if he could. I let him over pretty often because if I told him to go retrieve me something he would usually do it. All we had in common was horror movies/books and that for old p fast.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If all you have in common is sex and horror movies, I agree it gets boring pretty fast.

And yeah, guys are different.

[–]BlackPorcelainDoll✟ Đred Łipstick 🖤 Automods Mistre§§2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Not much, sounds like non-monogamists (e.g. 'weak monogamy') in denial. "Casual relationship" in the case of FWB's between humans unrelated is an oxymoron to me, it isn't that casual relationships lack the intimacy what 'regular relationships' have depending on the 'regular relationship', but that casual relationships lack the formality of monogamous deals: ethical and moral obligation to/of exclusivity - if a FWB situation has monogamous exclusivity without making a monogamous deal and agreement, there is no distinction between it and a regular relationship with medicore depth (common among young adults and less emotionally mature (or lack of) adults - for the few that have the emotional maturity and skill it serves as anxiety pills) in other words a suppressant from possible commitment ..

I think non-monogamists being aware of their biological non-monogamist and in some cases, poly proclivity (as studies have shown different brain activity) would reduce much of the problems we see today such as being paired with strong monogamist leaners, but this type of awareness and information is too much to ask of young people, or anyone really, and too difficult to determine, it is just not practical or interesting

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Not much, sounds like non-monogamists (e.g. 'weak monogamy') in denial.

I like FWBs and I am ideologically opposed to marriage. What denial I am in?

casual relationships lack the formality of monogamous deals

That's their point. Keep formality for maths.

I think non-monogamists being aware of their biological non-monogamist and in some cases, poly proclivity (as studies have shown different brain activity) would reduce much of the problems we see today such as being paired with strong monogamist leaners, but this type of awareness and information is too much to ask of young people, or anyone really, and too difficult to determine, it is just not practical or interesting

People would do it more openly and easily if it was more normalized.

[–]BlackPorcelainDoll✟ Đred Łipstick 🖤 Automods Mistre§§1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I don't really see your point in bringing up marriage. I don't consider it the "end all" example of strong monogamy at all. You can marry with weak, non-monogamy, or poly. Too many people do this, in fact. Monogamous deal-making does not require legal intervention, only promises and bonds - (made and broken).

As for the rest of your response, idk what you're talking about or what point you're trying to make. It's pretty obvious to me "the point" of casual relationships as explained in the last portion of my first paragraph, I only claim that there is no interesting performative or logical distinction between monogamous FWB's and regular relationships that I can tell that involve conventional monogamous deals besides maybe degrees of vulnerability, which vary from relationship to relationship to begin with. It's not always denial, but claiming there is some distinction that isn't there is making it look like a denial in the form of an anxiety suppressant, which is essentially the point of "casual relationships" anyway. It isn't just denial, that was just me being snappy. I said there are people "aware" of it too.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

It is more in that than just monogamy and polygamy. Close FWBs > open relationships.

FWBs are monogamous when a man can't find another FWB and a woman is not interested in variety.

[–]BlackPorcelainDoll✟ Đred Łipstick 🖤 Automods Mistre§§1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

...? That's why I said "non-monogamists". Not necessarily polyandryous, polygamous, etc people. I don't think the opposite of monogamy is "poly".

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I mean, you are suggesting all these people would better go open relationships or polyamory, and I disagree.

FWBs are about not giving oaths to people you have sex with. I.e. "I promise nothing but I like you and your company and sex with you."

[–]BlackPorcelainDoll✟ Đred Łipstick 🖤 Automods Mistre§§1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I didn't suggest anything. Nowhere did I suggest people who prefer to be in "performatively monogamous relationships without monogamous deal-making" should be with poly people or be in open relationships.

What are you talking about..? I've said three times "FWBs" makes no interesting performative difference between regular relationships besides maybe degrees of vulnerability and lack of promise-making. Where do we disagree..? Lol. What?

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

FWBs are different in the sense people are not making covert contracts.

Relationships: "I miss you."

FWBs: no such messages.

Relationships: a woman demands a man treat her specially.

FWBs: treat each other as friends.

[–]Jathrowaway971 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They need to do it in order for it to be normalized though. That’s how almost everything works people who are a part of a certain lifestyle push it and promote it until it’s no longer viewed as abnormal.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree, and it's still hard to be a pioneer.

[–]Jathrowaway971 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True!

[–]ReisiluuUnlearning3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never tried it. Casual sex is fine for people who like it but it's not enough for me. I want the whole package (exclusivity, good sex, romance, marriage, kids, house, pets, growing old together) and so far I haven't had to adjust my goals.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

fwbs really weren't that deep to me. it was just guys who were good enough at banging to keep me coming back, nothing more nothing less. it was always the guy who caught feelings, actually. my last fwb still hates me guts because i didn't want to be his girlfriend though i admit i let that situation get way too blurry

[–]findingfemininitydo you even love your bf if you don't wear a jar of his cum?2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

All of my serious adult relationships basically started out as FWBs. I'm a have sex first ask questions later type of person. Out of the three people I had sex with after high school, only one never turned into an LTR. He was hot and fun but we weren't long term compatible because he didn't want kids. 🤷 Him and my first serious, long term ex were both people I met through friends. My fiance I met online.

Do you think casual relationships have a place in dating, courting, or whatever?

Sure. I don't think it matters if you do casual or only want serious relationships. Everyone is different. Just do whichever one makes you happy.

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Jathrowaway970 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Sex means different things to different people so it’d be hard to make that the standard. All you can really do is reflect on what sex means to you and then engage with other likeminded people.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Jathrowaway970 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I honestly can’t tell you what it means to you. That’s for you to decide.

For me personally it’s way to deepen an emotion connection. I know not everyone sees it this way though so I stick to dating people who do.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Jathrowaway970 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

They’d have to be really unhygienic and extremely physically unattractive for that to matter. I’ve never slept with a guy that I felt immediate lust for but I’ve never been disgusted by their physical appearance either.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Jathrowaway971 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s perfectly fine, like I said everyone has different attitudes towards sex. It means different things to different people. It’s fine to have your own standards based on that. For me I just can’t see it that way because I rarely ever feel lust based on just physical appearance. Even the couple times it has happened my mind didn’t go to sex.

[–]nemma8831/F/UK INFP -t. Engaged2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No I haven't and not really for me I think. I'm super invested in in my romantic relationship, I guess It's just a all or nothing deal.

You always hear stories about how one side catches deeper feelings, sounds exhausting to me.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

No way. I need to be in love with someone to be that vulnerable and intimate.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Are you not vulnerable with female friends?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Not physically, no.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

And love for you means exclusivity, because you also are that one "possesive love" type, right?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

if it is not exclusive then what good is it?

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love does not ask.

[–]Kittennoodle2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They're not fwb, it's just what you tell yourself when you're rejected. I had one and yeah, expected more.

[–]teibe2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If a guy likes you enough to have sex with you and be your friend, why doesn't he like you enough to be your boyfriend?

[–]richlad1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Being boyfriend means being limited to one girl otherwise it's cheating. Pretty sure many call FWB open relationship.

[–]teibe2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The idea of him fucking another woman on Saturday and then meeting me for sex on Sunday is absolutely revolting. No thanks.

[–]NeedingAdvice861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That just makes you normal and not in the trashy\slut realm.....it is 97% of the population.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I have one very positive experience.

We met on the dancefoor at this gig, swapped number and had sex that night. He couldnt completely get it up (due to some pills) but the chemistry was out of this world. After that we spent two years seeing each other once a month for a kinky weekend, a bit of drinking and just generally having fun.

I eventually stopped seeing him because he was starting to get a bit annoying. We argued quite a bit when we saw each other and I was just loosing patience with him. We're still friends though and every now and then we will message each other pleasantries.

I eventually stopped seeing him beacuse he was starting to get a bit annoying. We argued quite a bit when we saw each other and I was just loosing patience with him. We're still friends though and every now and then we will message each other pleasantries.

I tried to find another FB but never managed to find one. I eventually met someone and fell in love and had a relationship for 3 years.

[–]callingtipsin1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

What did you guys start arguing about?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

When I went to visit him he would insist on doing what he wanted to do and was generally a pretty bad host. This meant dragging me along to various things I didn't particular want to do.

When he visited me we had to do what he wanted to do still, and would get in a strop if I wanted to do something different

We also argued a bit about politics.

[–]callingtipsin0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Only like each other just enough, and not enough to really compromise. I've been there. But what I found was to be even more demanding in some ways, but compromise in the ways I have no choice about.

Ymmv I'm a guy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well FWB are never meant to last forever, really. I think two years was pretty long tbh. I look back on it fondly.

[–]callingtipsin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I look back fondly as well. Like that one could have been my wife had I wanted it. And we had a lot of fun together. Kind of like kids playing around only add in the adult bits. Half kids.

[–]intersIn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have done it. However, I felt the sex was better when I was in a committed relationship. More trust allowed me to be comfortable and willing to try the more risque stuff.

I think causal sex is good for people who do really enjoy sex and want a little variety prior to marriage. You don't want to feel like you wished you did a little more dating prior to marriage. Plus it's a good way to start to figure out what you would want in a committed relationship and what you don't want.

That being said I don't think it's done a great deal of justice to my gender. Now we have a bunch of men who think women should just jump out at them from their laptop, land on their dick, and be all wet and willing to go.

[–]NarniaFox1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's good for people, who arent looking for LTR, but want to have sex and experience some level of intimacy and vulnerability with other person. I've never done it, my first relationship led to marriage and I'd probably not be interested in such kind of relationship. Though maybe if my friend was a girl, I'd try it out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I tried. Too much "benefits", not enough "friend". Nah.

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Too bad that guys discourage women from having FWBs like that. Girls can be fun in stuff besides sex too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Meh, they were trying to play the game. Offer the girl plausible slut deniability. You're not some ho I call up when I want pussy! We are friends!!!!!

I just think they read me wrong :p

[–]rus9384Aromantic but cuddly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I don't get why don't guys just pursue women as wholes and not as holes.

[–]VexingTetrimino1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

aw man. i have a PhD in FWB.

i've had 4 of them from between high school to my current relationship, which started out as a fuck buddy.

the first one was an exbf out of high school. lasted on and off for a few years until i had a 3some with him and his friend.

the second one was the friend. dropped the first one because i wanted to try out a new playmate. lasted a couple years, on and off. only hooked up if we were both between relationships.

what can i say.... i needed to always have a reliable, non-disrespectful source of orgasms on tap. by definition this excludes ONS. i never wanted stranger dick.

benefits < risks = no thanks

the third one didn't last long. had promising fuck sessions at first but soon realized that my hunch was true that it was not a big deal for him if i didn't cum. the realization was enough for me to wanna stop making it work.

the fourth is my hubs! i do love him to pieces. we were fuck buddy status for maybe a year or more before we realized we were doomed to love each other. now we've been married for 11 years and have 2 kids. we even married each other again at our 10 year anniversary.

FWBs did turn out better than bfs because with bfs once you figured out they were selfish lovers it was much harder to leave or course correct. and in case you couldn't tell, a selfish lover is a deal breaker for me.

FWBs isn't for everyone but it worked out really well for me. i love sex and i love love but i don't think they need to go together all the time.

[–]Jathrowaway971 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t judge other people who do it but personally, it’s not for me. That’s not what I’m looking for. They definitely have a place in dating. They’re good for people who don’t want to commit but still want to enjoy sex intimacy beyond a ons/f-buddy situation.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

no

[–]DivaHustlerPrincessNo Pill1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Never

Escorts are paid for their time, why shouldn’t I be? lol

[–]goneaway2thewind2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Did you just purposely compare yourself to a prostitute? Lol

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[–]NeedingAdvice860 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

One of the biggest disagreements I encountered in the short time I lurked on that TRP site was stating the reality that they were misleading dudes because in any community\group there are only a tiny segment of women who are going to be interested any such FWB arrangement and they are not going to be the type of women that most guys are going to want to fuck.....unless you are the most thirsty of the thirsty.

It is another of the porn fantasies rampant on that sub whereby they envision a harem of swimsuit model FWB who just drop by on their designated night MON-FRI for a fuck session when the reality is that it is basically two people who are lack the attractiveness to find proper mates so they just agree to hold their noses\close their eyes to fuck instead of masturbating.

[–]_Neon_Shadow_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree to a degree but there are a few attractive women who are into it.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've done it--it's the only kind of casual sex I'm really comfortable with. It only works, IME, if there's a major incompatibility that means you shouldn't be in a relationship (i.e. you're moving in a month; one of you is into polyamory and the other isn't, etc.).

[–]SkrattGoddess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's cute cause you can have the sex and the Netflix and chill stuff without worrying about commitment. As for dating, no...casual sex has no place anywhere near dating.

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did it for a month but ultimately required a person who would commit right away so we could just fuck and be in love too.

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I avoided them in my 20s and 30s because I fancied myself a monogamous and preferred lengthy long term relationships. Once I hit 40 I preferred FWBs to ONS so I had a few. I had a kid living at home still and didn't want to date tll she moved out, so I opted for a few short term sexual relationships with long time friends. At their houses, not mine, naturally. Mr. Paisley started out as an FWB.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]Mrs_DrgreeMarried to Automod[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Automod please

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Bad. Because too many people develop feelings for their FWB. Good if you just enjoy sex and aren't looking for it to lead into a relationship.

I'm older so FWBs wasn't a big thing back then. If I could go back in time, but with today's open attitude, I would have a female FWB but not male.

Casual relationships can turn into permanent so I suppose they do have a limited place.

Most people outside of the manosphere and religious groups realize that virginity doesn't matter and that people of all ages, from young to older divorced, now include sex as part of dating.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I tihnk the best way to havea FWB is to find someone that you have excellent chemistry with who isnt boyfriend material.

[–]callingtipsin1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Doesn't seem to matter. You can be not boyfriend material as much as possible and at some point your fwb will get to the question. "why won't you be my boyfriend?"

I think it's an ego thing. The girl will even bring up all the guys who want to be her boyfriend, yet she'll still come over and ask. Like you don't know

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've seen a lot of successful FBW people in my time, they more often than not end amicably.

[–]callingtipsin1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I suppose I've always been a harsh kind of monstrous person underneath. I never let them end amicably. I really don't even think I can. I always make a big show out of the end. I guess I think it's funny.

But good for the folks who can.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

K

[–]WorkaholiconewNo Pill, Leaning red, Brazilian.0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am pretty sure the red pill is not into virgins, at least if they have experience. It is a headache to deal with virgins and they are always finicky with sex/relationships.

Sure, higher n count women are almost always the least interesting, but virgins are close seconds as they can be very problematic, I am pretty sure most prefer low and medium n count women.

Most men who want virgins... probably are religious or did not experience how problematic these women are.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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