red pillers did you grow up in families where you were under parented or over parented?

purple_lock · 2015-03-03T15:04:43+00:00

Purple leaning red as well...

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself?

Most of my meals, until I got a bit older.

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself?

They did until I was 16.

did they help you with your homework?

Nope.

did they care about your grades?

To a degree. If I started to do badly yes, but I was almost always above average so they didn't really have to.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

Not expected to go get a job (lived far out of the way) but I was expected to work and help a lot at home.

did they buy you a nice car?

They didn't buy me any car.

soylentblueissmurfs · 2015-03-03T14:36:18+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

[deleted] · 2015-03-03T14:54:50+00:00

I'm purple but leaning red so I'm hoping it's cool to answer.

were your parents more involved in your life than most other kids or less involved in your life than other kids?

I don't really know how other parents treated their kids so I dunno.

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself?

They did it for me as a kid and young teen, but 16+ I did it myself more often.

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself?

Same as previously, as a kid and a young teen they did it but during my later teen years I did it myself.

did they help you with your homework?

Rarely.

did they care about your grades?

Pretty much all they seemed to care about.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

Not while in full time education.

did they buy you a nice car?

Lol no. It was always made clear if I wanted fancy shit I had to earn it.

namae_nanka · 2015-03-03T15:52:55+00:00

Over (grand) parented.

did they help you with your homework?

A little but mostly a self-made boy.

did they care about your grades?

Not much, not that they had much to care about.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

Yep.

Bakerofpie · 2015-03-03T15:56:01+00:00

Well, where I grew up as a kid most of my friends' parents were drug addicts who were too busy getting high to care for their kids, so my parents were definitely more involved. Once we moved to a nicer area they were about equally involved in comparison to other kids.

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself?

when my parents were married my mom cooked all meals for me. When they divorced daddy time included root beer for breakfast and ice cream for dinner. My mom is extremely unstable so sometimes so cooked for me and other times I had to cook for both of us and force her to eat.

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself

parents did until I was in high school.

did they help you with your homework?

I'm smarter than my mom, so no. My parents were cheerleaders but I never had a hard time in school so they didn't really need to help me.

did they care about your grades?

not really, because I made straight A's. If I got the occasional B they didn't get mad or anything. Good grades were expected, and any "bad grades" (got a C once and that's the lowest I ever got) they didn't worry about since they were few and far between.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

just the opposite. I had to get a job in secret because my dad wanted to take care of me financially until I was done with high school.

did they buy you a nice car?

oh yes. My first car is probably the nicest I will have owned for the rest of my life. Almost brand new. My dad shows his love with money.

Cyralea · 2015-03-03T16:11:58+00:00

-Mom cooked dinner every night
-Mom took care of household chores
-I never received help from parents, immigrant parenting
-Only thing that really mattered. Always got good grades, thankfully
-No, father insisted I focus on studies until I graduated. Rather regret not working when I was younger
-Hah, this must be a white thing. No, buying a car was out of the question. We were poor growing up, anyhow.

thereddespair · 2015-03-03T16:33:22+00:00

food: yes they did laundry: mom, women in the family do those homework: no. from kindergarten to the univ, they did not. grades: i didnt get any pressure. the pressure was not on the grade itself, but in finishing and getting the degree. job: i think its expected for everyone to car: my first. I believe parents always do that for the first

justtookit · 2015-03-03T18:33:46+00:00

Can you tell us what you hope to learn from this? Will you share it with us later?

LamiaQueen · 2015-03-03T20:15:34+00:00

Okay, I'll bite.

Mama always made dinner and lunch for weekends, but breakfast is not something we really had when I was growing up. She would make a lunch for me for school if I asked.

Mama did my laundry until I was about in junior high, which is when I refused to let her do it anymore and made her teach me. She helped with math homework, Da helped with history, I helped them with spelling and grammar.

They thought about trying to have me work in high school but it was never serious. I got my first job last year, age 20.

They didn't buy me anything that large. If I wanted something expensive I earned the money.

DaThrowaway808 · 2015-03-03T21:46:32+00:00

Under parented

No, to everything.

[deleted] · 2015-03-03T21:50:39+00:00

were your parents more involved in your life than most other kids or less involved in your life than other kids? or neither. please elaborate.

I have no idea... not having ever had other kid's parents. My father was only home on the weekends. My mother worked at the school as a secretary.

I was in band, and my parents did make a point to make it to football games and marching competitions. However, in terms of day to day life, I was mostly left to my own devices.

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself?

Dinner? Yes, at first. Starting around junior high, we were expected to fix our own leftover plates. Breakfast and lunch? Not past junior high. I got tired of sandwiches and complained, and the response was "well then, start writing out grocery lists of what you want". So I did.

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself?

I asked to do it myself. Before that, I had to fold all the laundry (even mom's panties and such... it was kinda creepy folding my parents undies all the time).

did they help you with your homework?

Not past elementary school. Neither of them were particularly academic, and were public school grads: I was highly academic and went to the academic focused (rather than just rich-kid-bubble) private school in the area.

did they care about your grades?

It was the only thing, until I was 15 and could work. They were of the opinion that school was a job, and not getting good grades was not putting forth effort into your job. You know, that whole Protestant work ethic thing.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

Yes, full time in summer, and part time during school. In addition, lawn care was my job as soon as I could handle a mower. As soon as I left home, Dad got a self-propelled mower :(.

did they buy you a nice car?

No. When I went to college, they bought me a 1982 toyota carolla (in 2000) for about $2k. My sister got a Miata when she graduated.

ManRAh · 2015-03-03T21:52:49+00:00

Parents made all my meals until, I dunno, High School, at which point I was expect to make my own lunches at the least.

I was expected to do my own laundry somewhat prior to HS. I don't quite recall exactly.

My parents helped me with my homework whenever I asked.

In terms of grades; I was a rambunctious child and got in trouble at school but generally did good (I was in advanced classes up until HS). They tried to get me "help" for my anxiousness and I was declared "borderline ADHD", but never medicated. They resorted to offering me money for As, which I usually fell short of.

I had a small allowance that was basically paid out when I mowed the lawn (5 bucks a mowing). My parents would let me borrow money for certain things and we tracked my earnings and debt. At 15 1/2 I got a summer job which I worked until I graduated college. At 17/18 my parents gave me their old car (I had biked to work previously), and when I graduated from HS I believe my gift was $500 or $1,000. I don't recall exactly. These were pretty big gifts for me as my parents generally expected us to earn everything.

That said, my family was definitely approaching Upper Middle Class. We had a fairly large house up until their divorce, in a very nice area by the standards of our small city. I'm sure my parents could have actually spoiled us if they wanted, but they were frugal.

I had good relationships with my parents, and even things like spankings were rare. At most, my mom was a bit of a clean freak which caused occasional steam between us. Otherwise, I would say I was pretty lucky growing up.

throwinout · 2015-03-03T23:57:17+00:00

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself?

Up until about high school. But by then I didn't enjoy the cooking they made, and stuck to simpler stuff I could make myself. I learned to cook basics from a young age as well.

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself?

They did my laundry.

did they help you with your homework?

No. smugly I didn't need help.

did they care about your grades?

Yeah.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

No. I got one anyway. They were surprised when I told them I was going to get a job in high school.

did they buy you a nice car?

No, they gave the old family car.

[deleted] · 2015-03-04T01:50:51+00:00

were your parents more involved in your life than most other kids or less involved in your life than other kids?

Average, I suppose. My dad was around when he got off work (usually before we got home from school). My mom was a SAHM up until she passed away when I was 14. After then, I was with my grandparents most of the time. Less involvement once I went to a boarding school.

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself?

We had our meals made for us, but at one point, my brother and I began cooking on our own (mostly frozens).

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself?

Up until about 13, yeah. After that, I did everyone's laundry until about 16, when I went to a boarding school (pretty much paid for by the state, minus a small rooming fee).

did they help you with your homework?

Rarely. More about reminding me. I did help my brother with his often.

did they care about your grades?

Yes. Still do.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

No, but I did do household chores at 13-14. I got my first job (a work study) at 16 (boarding school).

did they buy you a nice car?

I don't drive, so no.

cxj · 2015-03-04T17:31:01+00:00

Def underparented. Glad though, because now I'm independent and can form my own goals and shit.

I made my own food as far back as I can remember, obviously my parents made it when I was young.

Did my own laundry since I was so young I could barely reach the top of the machine lol.

Helped me with homework very early on but not at all after that. Most of my HW didn't get done until I started community college.

My Dad would flip out about my grades a lot but his punishments never, ever stuck. Like I'd be grounded for a week and it would only end up lasting a day, lol.

I got a job at 16 because I needed money. My parents happened to be buying a new car around that time, so I convinced them to give me the beat up honda civic with 150k miles on it rather than selling it. Still a pretty sweet advantage though, most kids don't get free cars. The main reason they gave it to me was to avoid having to give me rides to work lol.

Icebluedial · 2015-03-05T00:54:17+00:00

Both my parents were narcissists of different sorts. It's probably why I hate authority and seek power over others as a matter of course.

Katniss_Granger · 2015-03-05T09:32:05+00:00

I was given a lot of freedom but I wouldn't call it under-parenting, I'd say it was less than most but at the right level, I learned to take responsibility for my actions, I could take all the credit for the things I did right and suffered all the consequences when I went wrong, now that I'm at uni I'm a lot more responsible and willing to hold myself accountable that most other students.

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself?

Bit of both, usually made it myself but if my mum was cooking a proper meal then she'd make enough for everyone. Sometimes myself and my siblings would cook for everyone but usually we all just fed ourselves.

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself? Again, bit of both. If my stuff needed washing I'd do it, if there was room left other people would chuck theirs in, if the bathroom basket got full someone would do it...it was a "if it needs doing then do it" kind of thing.

did they help you with your homework? If I asked but, not to be cruel, I've always been somewhat more intelligent, the only thing I struggled with was maths and she was worse than me.

did they care about your grades? She cared but she didn't interfere, if I did well then she'd say well done and tell me that she's proud, if I did badly she'd say that it's a shame and hopefully I know what I did wrong so I can do better next time but on the whole they were my responsibility, she was either proud or upset that I was upset.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

Not me personally because I've always been in full time education, if I'd dropped out like my brother or sister then yes, get a job or get kicked out.

did they buy you a nice car? No, we were always very very low on money, to the point of being homeless once. Even if she could afford it I don't think she would because that's just spoonfeeding me and she'd know it's better in the long run to make me earn something for myself than be given it.

[deleted] · 2015-03-03T14:59:51+00:00

So being Upper Middle Class constitutes being "over" parented now?

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself? My mother made all my meals

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself? We had a maid, I never did a chore

did they help you with your homework? Involved in my schoolwork and education in every way

did they care about your grades? School was all that mattered

were you expected to work a job growing up? No, I didn't have my 1st job til 26

did they buy you a nice car? my first car was a used Volvo, I imagine that's not nice as in flashy and brand new

In terms of being involved in my life, they were very hands off by the time a I was a teen and by the age of 14 allowed me what would be considered unconscionable personal liberty today.

ECoast_Man · 2015-03-03T22:01:07+00:00

I actually fell in love with my mother because we used to read bullshit reddit posts by wannabe Freuds.

In summary - neither.

an_absolute_rose · 2015-03-03T15:14:18+00:00

My mother is a helicopter parent, my dad isn't.

My mom also happens to be lazy, for a time she was a stay at home mom. I made a majority of my meals. I did my own laundry. I'm smart so didn't need help with my homework and my parents aren't academically smart anyways so they wouldn't have been much help. They definitely cared about my grades. My dads a carpenter so I was expected and forced to help out. I eventually decided that wasn't for me and I've worked some real (shitty) jobs. I paid for my own car... But they'll provably buy my younger sister her own this year.

tintedlipbalm · 2015-03-03T15:29:03+00:00

related questions (about your school age years, 6-18):

I moved out at 15, so my answers will be all until 15. I was, however, still supported financially by my mother all through college.

did your parents make your breakfast, lunch, dinner or did you do that yourself?

My mom made breakfast and dinner everyday. The cook made our lunch because my mother had no time/energy for this as a business owner.

did your parent do your laundry or did you do that yourself?

The maid did (and does) the laundry.

did they help you with your homework?

Yes. My mom would read with me before lunch. My brother helped me with understanding all that was math before he moved out. My dad was less involved in this. We also had nanny-tutors in the evenings growing up until I was about 9.

did they care about your grades?

They had an interest, but they weren't pushy or overly involved in this. I was the best student in my class.

were you expected to work a job growing up?

No. School was our job.

did they buy you a nice car

No

Title	red pillers did you grow up in families where you were under parented or over parented?
Author	taiboworks
Upvotes	2
Comments	46
Date	March 3, 2015 2:23 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2xsdqw/red_pillers_did_you_grow_up_in_families_where_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/red-pillers-did-you-grow-up-in-families-where-you.283249 https://theredarchive.com/post/283249