This barrier is what upsets most men when it comes to dating. The initial attraction a woman has to you, will determine whether or not you can date her.

The problem a lot of dudes like to negate is that women have different looks thresholds. Some women don't require a tall dark and handsome guy. Some don't mind the average, 5/10 dude, and will give him a chance if his approach is right.

"BuT cHaDs CaN gEt AnY wOmAn"

  • FALSE CONCLUSION: All women are attracted to the same type of guy.

That's not the case. Just because an objectively good looking dude (6'3", chiseled and symmetrical face, muscular) can get almost any woman, does not equate to "all women wanting the same guy".

Women have all sorts of looks thresholds. Maybe some girls won't look at you, unless you're dressed nicely. No matter how good you look underneath. Some don't care if you're chubby, some don't mind if you're skinny. Some don't care if you're only an inch or two taller than them.

My point is that this looks threshold isn't as hard to pass, depending on the woman.

ARE LOOKS THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR, SINCE YOU CAN'T GET A DATE IF YOU DON'T MEET THE LOOKS THRESHOLD?

Yes and no.

Looks are important in the sense that a woman has to have sexual attraction towards you in order to form a romantic bond. So yes, technically looks are most important at that moment.

However, looks mix with personality over time. If this girl (like it was in my situation) hangs out in your friend group, and communicates with you, depending on your personality, you can become more or less attractive in her eyes. So even if she wasn't initially attracted to you, she might become over time. Making looks NOT the most important.

On the other hand, forming a solid, stable, healthy relationship, requires a good personality. If you're uninteresting, unintelligent, unfunny, and only have your looks... That woman might bail on you. Because staying in a relationship with a brick wall isn't exactly fun. So when it comes to forming relationships, looks are not by any means the most important.

WHAT ABOUT HOOKUPS?

Hookups are all based on charm and looks.

A woman having sex with you over a few texts on tinder, or the same night after clubbing, requires very good looks, or a lot of charm. Even both.

Looks are all that matter in hookups basically. Charm is good to have.