The main dating problem for women is that they want commitment and relationships from guys who can enjoy the fullest extent of their company without committing

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-05-05T15:45:28+00:00

True to a point but one major thing is missing: plenty of guys who CAN enjoy them without commitment still WANT commitment

Top tier guys still want commitment often. I wouldn't consider myself top tier -- but let's use a guy in my MBA as an example. He's my height but 20lbs more, all ripped muscle. Probably 5% lower body fat. Def under 10%. His face is chisled like a Hemsworth look alike. He's very smart and me n him were in a group once and he definitely did a lot of the work. He was a pro water polo player in Europe. I think he's maybe 28 to 30 years old. 10 out of 10.

All the single girls in our program simped for him at the start. But guess what? He found someone outside the MBA he actually likes and they've been dating for a year.

COULD he have run through all my female friends? Oh 100%

DID he? No

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-05-05T13:40:59+00:00

Women want commitment, from men who have options and don't want to commit. This is their dilemma to bear.

dysonRing · 2022-05-05T14:07:08+00:00

The hottest of the hot don't get pumped and dumped, they are given the good old college try for a few months until the looks spell evaporates but not fucked and dumped.

Friedidli · 2022-05-05T14:03:07+00:00

I'm assuming you do actually talk to this person and hang out with her, etc? Otherwise how tf can you know you want her to be your girlfriend - someone you love and care for - on the basis that you like her ass? 😂

EDIT: body*
Dunno why I said ass..
I made an ass-umption.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-05-05T13:58:55+00:00

I think the problem is that it's very easy to say you'd want to have a relationship someone because of how they look, but without knowing what they're like as a person, it's likely you wouldn't want more than sex with them. Many men don't realise that thinking someone looks nice doesn't make a relationship.

neetykeeno · 2022-05-05T16:14:35+00:00

Dude. There's a zillion dudes who are like you and feel that way about her. She therefore, having the dynamic happen all around her all the time knows the dynamics better than you do and understandably has inspected a few of those dudes more closely and because they weren't a good bet thinks you aren't a good bet. If you want to have a chance with her you need to stand out from those other dudes. If you want the chance for this to work out you need to be not like the others enough to attract attention then when she steps in to investigate offer a significant improvement to her life which probably means offering more than just dick.

You need to stop being like men that have previously proven to be crap for her. You probably don't even need to be much better than those dudes. Just stand out enough to seem different then not be crap when she notices you. Have something to offer that is specific to what she in particular wants from life.

Look on it as idk...you are part of a series of iterations. You know... fractal shit. Like the this set or that set. Not the Mandelbrot set...the Dudebro set. Heh. She doesn't want to go there. Going there is a waste of time... endless inspection of iterations that are the same but different and have proven such a waste of time she has rejected the whole set.

Or you can look at it like she's driving down a long highway in the countryside. Is she going to pull over, get out her car and inspect another clump of grass that is just like all the other clumps? Of course not. She's seen grass before. Be a clump of wild thyme. A patch of buttercups. A piece of old aesthetically rusted farm machinery. A beachball. An abandoned puppy. Anything other than another clump of grass.

Five_Decades · 2022-05-05T14:21:29+00:00

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mikey152 · 2022-05-05T18:44:00+00:00

This post really represents the blind spot a lot of men have on this sub:

You can have casual sex with women without treating them like a sex object, just as you can commit to women while still treating them like one.

Saying you would make a girl your girlfriend based on looks and very minimal interaction is either one of two thing: either you see her as a sex object you’d want to fuck multiple times, or you’re desperate and will take anyone who isn’t fat or a bitch.

Flat out, no girl is going find that flattering or settle for either of those things long term. They might fuck you if you’re hot, but that’s because they also see you as JUST A SEX OBJECT and don’t care if you see them that way too or if you’re settling or whatever.

TLDR: If the only reason you don’t pump and dump women is because you can’t, that doesn’t make you a good guy

decoy88 · 2022-05-05T15:05:41+00:00

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2022-05-05T22:29:21+00:00

The amount of affirmation that women receive is unhealthy for everyone. They get swamped with attention and her friends encourage her to believe most of it is genuine. Even after guys disguise brief periods of sexual use as relationships, her friends are talking about it as though it was a real relationship with real possibilities. They tell her she can do better. Everyone is too damn polite to tell her what she can get into bed is completely different to what she can keep.

I know the red pill is unpopular, but there are too many people playing it safe.

GoWest7 · 2022-05-05T14:09:46+00:00

I don't think women should date/sleep with any of you. They should go old school, make you court her parents, offer marriage upfront, bring camels, gold bracelets, and bananas, and even then maybe not if they don't like you.

Her brothers can chase you down in the streets if you don't act right.

Slyfer_Seven · 2022-05-05T14:42:19+00:00

Why would you make the statement that you would girlfriend up a chick when you know very little about her? Most women and men don't understand what thinking with your dick looks like and so they struggle to grasp the intricacies of what that entails.

This leads to guys like yourself totally wanting to girlfriend up a chick based predominately on looks, until they bang her and realize, "oh nevermind I just wanted to fuck" and then fade away.

I would argue that right there is a bigger problem than a dude with options...

infinitofluxo · 2022-05-05T14:02:21+00:00

I can't understand how this is still debatable.

Most men are hornier than most women, they would fuck even the girls they don't like much if there is anything in them they can eroticize.

Women will be approached by all men that are confident enough, most of them are the better looking ones that have easier access to sex than the regular/lowly ones. And the reason for that is that they are better looking.

Women can choose and they will pick the better looking because when they are approached they don't think the best ones only want sex, they think they are high value women and that is why good looking men approach her, which most of the times is not true.

It is a hard problem to fix because how to balance this? Avoid good looking men in the hopes that the regular ones are less likely to be confident enough to try to use them? Hope that the regular ones will want a relationship with them because she is high value to them?

In my opinion it is ok to pick the better looking ones because I'd do the same, but it can't be all, you have to need other qualities that could even make you pick someone that is not as much of a looker as the others with worse qualities.

Women are usually attracted to things that fuck boys show, like strong and fit bodies, good faces, social status, money, good clothes, confidence. If they can't understand this and try to connect with people for other reasons, they will be enslaving themselves as fuck toys to fuck boys.

gofigure62 · 2022-05-05T14:48:30+00:00

Most of the male users on this sub are sexist and believe that all men are brain dead walking dicks that only want to fuck women and have no other purpose in life.

This sub collectively parrots that ALL men ONLY want sex, and the only reason why they enter into relationships with women is to have access to regular sex, otherwise they could never get sex regularly.

This sub often perpetuates the belief that ALL men don't actually like women as people, they just like having sex with women's body parts.

So by PPD logic you're wrong, all men don't want company or attention from women, they just want sex. So they wouldn't date or enter into a relationship with her at all, unless it was to secure sex regularly, because they don't see value in her company besides having sex.

There are also sexist men IRL that parrot that men only want sex. Most women grow up hearing from male friends and family members to be weary and watchful of other men because they only want sex.

Until men stop being sexist and advocating for the "men only want sex" narrative, then collectively people are going to sterotype most men as only wanting sex unless they differentiate themselves.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-05-05T13:54:11+00:00

Damn, this girl is really missing out on dating the guy who describes her as having “a very average face.” What a mistake.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-05T14:33:54+00:00

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baresquad · 2022-05-05T14:09:00+00:00

OP are you somebody that only wants sex? Because I am and nobody ever makes me commit but I absolutely still will

Too much of this sub is men speaking for other men based on how they think we act but unless this is your experience from the man point of view, how can you speak for what we will and won’t do?

If I’m in love with someone then I feel the need to commit. The benefits of other women don’t outweigh the connection I have with the person I’m in love with. It’s simple

childish_badda_bingo · 2022-05-05T15:51:11+00:00

It gets worse. When you do commit to a woman that has this experience, she will wonder exactly what is wrong with you that you would choose to commit to her specifically.

handemande1 · 2022-05-05T15:57:08+00:00

Then what changed to make this so much "worse" in the last 10, 20 years? At least that's what I hear all the time - dating is harder than ever. Women have been just as promiscuous in the last 10 years than they were 30 years ago and guys still committed. There were also "players" back then who didn't commit to anyone using the knowledge that they just didn't have to commit. What happened? Shift in the overall male attitude? I feel like I come across tons of guys desperate for committed relationships, so I don't feel like that's why, but it's the only thing I can think of.

BeautifulTomatillo · 2022-05-05T13:57:44+00:00

I know you won’t believe me but a lot of these so called “average or unattractive” men will act the exact same way.

There was actually a post on r/seduction a while ago about this man mistreating women he had casual sex with because of his anger at being rejected in the past.

sarkington · 2022-05-05T14:20:10+00:00

I got used by non Chads. The only difference between meh women and men is that men will fuck women that they’re meh about while women generally won’t

dietwindows · 2022-05-05T13:47:04+00:00

Ladies are most attracted to guys with options. Guys with options will use them. Agree with that part.

Is that the main problem? Not sure. Because its not like women can control who they're attracted to.

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throwviaaway · 2022-05-05T16:03:20+00:00

Men have always been this horny. But here’s an unpopular opinion, the sexual liberation of women is actually the sexual liberation of men too! It’s given men the opportunity to engage in it without asking for a girls hand in marriage.

ruboyuri · 2022-05-05T16:12:32+00:00

Are most women so socially unaware that they are ignorant of options and the male sex drive? Or are we so socially masterful and driven that every miscalculation or failure is unforgivable?

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-05-05T17:34:33+00:00

I guess my question is outside her average face and nice body, do you know anything about her? Personality? Goals? Dreams?

manbruhpig · 2022-05-05T18:01:26+00:00

Here’s a question for you to think about: how do you simultaneously hold the views that (A) you, unlike other guys, would want her “on your arm” and for more than sex, and (B) that having sex with guys is giving them the “fullest extent of their company”? Like doesn’t the assertion that you want her for more than sex mean that having sex with someone isn’t the full extent of their company?

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-05-06T01:13:01+00:00

Ehhhh I see what you're saying, but men (with standards) do this too. Man or woman, you don't want to be the person somebody, "settled for," unless you are a very sad, unfulfilled person.

I do think women do it more, but that's probably because there are dudes throwing themselves at them all the time, whereas men rarely get approached, and have to "make their own opportunities," and are thus more incentivized to not waste them.

sharksville · 2022-05-06T05:38:32+00:00

I agree. Women want attention, affection, commitment and everything from men, and in return the only thing they offer is their looks. At least that’s what’s common. Oh yeah I’ve got good looks so I do t have to offer anything else on the table for you, but you as a man have to constantly give me attention even though I don’t respond, give me love and affection and treat me well while I fantasise about getting banged by some hot dude I’m not with and all.

Also, why do women think that the only thing men cares about is sex?? Why can’t that one factor be excluded out from the equation to a great relationship?? Is it because they think people will worry and shame her for having sex with a guy that doesn’t have six pack abs and an athletic body?? Because in reality if a woman is worrying about shaming her for a stupid reason line that, she needs therapy. Instead she should be worried about who will give her mental support when she’s feeling down, who will talk things out with her if she’s troubled etc etc.

freerossulbrich · 2022-05-06T06:37:37+00:00

Wrong in my cases.

It's very easy for me to pay for sex. Persuading women to give me children is another story.

Some women are lesbians, some wants to marry first, another wants white men. Getting sex is easy. Offering life time money for reasonable reward, like giving me children is difficult.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-05-05T16:55:44+00:00

Yes. 1000x yes. Women are inherently repulsed by men being emotional or vulnerable. Anyone who says otherwise is just simply being dishonest. It is practically innate.

There is quite literally no quicker way for a woman to lose attraction to you than to be vulnerable/emotional. As a man you have to just take whatever the world throws at you and be stoic, and work hard to actually have any value to society. If you want emotional support then talk to your family.

richard_golbes · 2022-05-05T15:12:57+00:00

The most popular postpost on this sub is damn accurate if you ask me

I love how even in these cartoons the woman is always thin, young, and white.

krischens · 2022-05-05T13:59:44+00:00

Yeah, you want what you can't get. Same with guys who want a slutty-IG-thot virgin just for themselves.

2022-05-05T15:01:19+00:00

Just because you can cheat, doesn’t mean you will cheat. A guy being attractive doesn’t make him any more likely to cheat than an unattractive guy. I don’t even completely understand what your point is.

geometersbane · 2022-05-05T14:20:48+00:00

"Well, the less attractive guys are just as abusive so why wouldn't I go for the hot ones?" makes sense on a surface level but after a second look, you realize exactly what they are talking about.

Women don't view the behavior as abusive. It's the lack of tingles from the average guy they view as abusive. They actually equate abuse to being with a guy who doesn't meet their rigid attraction requirements.

wtknight · 2022-05-05T13:44:00+00:00

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2022-05-05T17:05:24+00:00

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gate18 · 2022-05-05T21:43:25+00:00

Two users corrected me and said no they just want to fuck her and not even please her to which I replied, I don’t and I would make her my gf, she then got quiet and stopped responding since it doesn’t fit her narrative

That's the internet your you. Talk to red pills, republicanss, democrats, flat-earch believers and the all want their narrative to be validated.

the fact that she would assume this, is because she likely only focuses on guys who only want sex to the point where she feels this is the norm, this is probably the reality for most women.

Why would you speculate on her speculation?

SmakeTalk · 2022-05-05T21:51:15+00:00

Do you think she deliberately focuses on men who only want sex, or is that a risk she runs in dating more physically-appealing men?

There are a lot of great men out there who want relationships and they're just.. already in a relationship. It's interesting if you're assuming she only goes after men who just want sex instead of that she could have been taken advantage of one (or 5) too many times.

That would make her understandably pretty jaded.

WaffleConeDX · 2022-05-05T23:30:04+00:00

I feel like men on this thread get the idea of how relationships work from Wattpad stories lmao

NoswadtheInpaler · 2022-05-06T03:08:31+00:00

There is all levels of size, shape and looks having relationships, finding partners and living lives together. If this isn't happening for you maybe you shouldn't judge the book by it's cover or how thick it is. If you find the story and the way it is told attractive you will also find the book as a whole package attractive.

Complaining that women want commitment and men want their options open is as old as we are. Women have the children and want the commitment to raise them and men can afford to keep his options open and sew his oats. We are animals after all.

If you want the film star partner you need to start socialising where film stars go. If in your opinion you are only attracting lower end possible partners then maybe that is how you are presenting yourself, your attitude etc. Blaming others and not taking responsibility for yourself is never an attractive attribute to have.

stanleysgirl77 · 2022-05-06T04:40:01+00:00

Are you saying that we women want commitment from men but without committing ourselves?