Self image and self esteem is how you see yourself in view of how valuable you are, how attractive you are, how important, et cetera.

Low self esteem if I could define it as it exists in the vernacular of our culture: the value or worth you place on yourself is lower than the objective value or worth of yourself.

Arrogance (also as defined in the vernacular): the value or worth you place on yourself is higher than your objective value or worth.

Confidence: the value or worth you place on yourself is the same as or close to your objective value or worth.

All of these definitions are crap, and only serve to shame people who were delt a bad hand. They assume that one's self esteem isn't a product of one's totality of life experiences, that somehow one defines their self esteem apriori (without external influence). When in reality someone's self image and sense of worth is defined by his/her experiences in their past, and their present reality.

Example: a guy suffers through a childhood of physically abusive parents, or maybe they experienced a lot of bullying in school. Someone going through that childhood is going to require tons of therapy even just to feel like they have any value at all. Or a girl who goes from on abusive relationship to another: that's all she feels she deserves because that's all she's ever known: victims of childhood sexual abuse often end up in abusive romantic relationships later in life. Would telling these people to improve their self esteem help? Likely not. Yes they need therapy, but they also need compassion.

......

Now the thesis of my argument is this: commonly it is assumed or implied that someone having low self esteem is a character trait that they can just change. Therefore not changing it is " their fault" and they "should be shamed for it".

Someone who believes they're worthless will only start to feel better about themselves if their present day reality is supportive of that view. Not the other way around. The girl in an abusive relationship: if you could magically put her in a loving and supportive relationship where she feels valued and loved, her self esteem would improve. But without that, she has to basically push her mind past her present day reality and attempt to be positively delusional until she can find herself in a loving and supportive relationship where she feels valued. That's most of what current therapy tries to do: get you to be positively delusional for long enough that your reality and circumstances will be more likely to change.

My point is: low self esteem is a product of one's environment and past/upbringing, not a product they themselves crafted or composed. You can't change your self esteem without changing your present circumstances and reality and the only way one can do that is with enough positive delusions to effect their reality.

We should stop shaming people for low self esteem, and instead feel compassion and empathy. And if you're a true friend: do as much as you can to change their present day circumstances and reality.