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The only "80/20 rule" on dating apps is that 80/20 is literally the male-to-female user ratio on them

September 27, 2022
59 upvotes

As of 2022, Tinder is 78% male and 22% female in the US:

As of 2021, Bumble is almost 70% male and barely 30% female in the US:

In Europe, men outnumber women on Tinder by 9-to-1, while Bumble is roughly 80% male and 20% female:

In my opinion, the rise in incel discourse revolving around dating is simply down to very few women actually using dating apps. Millions of men piled into the world's biggest sausage fest on the promise of low-cost, low effort casual sex with conventionally attractive women, women themselves didn't follow, and now they don't know how to cope. They don't want to admit they've been manipulated, humiliated and used by a handful of rich men to be bled out via never ending Premium purchases and fake matches with bots to keep them going, so they turn to conspiracy theories. From "there's a handful of Chris Hemsworths and Brad Pitts quietly going around hoarding all the women in Middle Eastern style harems!" to "women these days won't even look at a man unless he's 6'2, has a six-pack, hulking arms, a six-figure income and a Bugatti!", it's all designed to shift the reality of their own manipulation onto some external reason.

What do you think about this?

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Post Information
Title The only "80/20 rule" on dating apps is that 80/20 is literally the male-to-female user ratio on them
Author jj24pie
Upvotes 59
Comments 148
Date September 27, 2022 2:22 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit /r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-only-8020-rule-on-dating-apps-is-that-8020-is.1133707
https://theredarchive.com/post/1133707
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xpi5kh/the_only_8020_rule_on_dating_apps_is_that_8020_is/
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Comments

[–]MAGA-Latino 25 points26 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

I think there must also be bots on there to keep the men (customers) engaged and continuing to bother logging on.

[–]mcouve 29 points30 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Not only bots. A girl I dated last year used to work in those companies that outsource humans for digital apps.

Eg: Big companies like Netflix, Facebook, Tiktok etc hire massive amounts of people to manually review content.

One of the available gigs she had was to a certain famous dating app, in which she would be paid to create several female profiles and match with men.

The rules she had to follow was keep them on the hook for a while, if they ask for a date or any other contact outside (eg: phone number) just unmatch.

I broke up with her due to that, I literally asked her why the fuck are you even considering scamming gulible men for money. She looked at me like a deer in headlights, could not even understand why it was bad, she just though it was an hillarious job.

[–]MAGA-Latino 14 points15 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Wow that is interesting. I suspected that also but you got to see it up close.

I literally asked her why the fuck are you even considering scamming gulible men for money. She looked at me like a deer in headlights, could not even understand why it was bad

That's how little they think of men. They think we only exist so they can take advantage of us. I remember telling a girl once how marriage was unfair to men and she gave me the same look. She said it's supposed to benefit women and who cares about the men.

[–]rurunoa 18 points19 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

the people who hired her are probably men tho lmao

[–]MAGA-Latino 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah business men don't care about nothing but that money. It's even mostly men passing all these anti male laws.

[–]ImaginaryList174 -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

No one hired her because that is not an actual job. No one is getting paid to sit on tinder and make fake profiles to string along guys. Sure, people do it for other reasons.. to catfish or for kicks or whatever. But there is no company hiring and paying people to do this...

[–]Haunting_Syllabub617 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’d bet my left titty that a man hired her to do that because he knows how men work. Its economics bb, and we know how much yall value money.

[–]MAGA-Latino 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes you're right. Men are not completely blameless here.

[–]y2kjanelle 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

How is marriage unfair to men though?

In marriages, studies have found that women do more domestic labor (EVEN if they work full time), and women do more mental labor (remembering gifts for her husbands parents, grocery lists, etc). Studies have found that because of this, women also do the majority of the spending and making those family decisions.
Marriage seems like it sucks for women. What do women get out of their husbands besides money and commitment, which changes with age as men cheat more as they age and if their partners are vulnerable (pregnant).

Men live longer when married while women do not. Women report less satisfaction while married compared to when single. Men also rely emotionally more on their wives or SOs while women tend to spread it out amongst important people in their lives.

Men gain back more income after a divorce and studies show that men actually get richer.

Women and children have higher links to poverty and suffer financially after a divorce.

27% of men abandon their children and leave "baby mamas" that everyone judges for a man not sticking around to raise his own child....Only 4% of cases go to court. Most parents decide custody beforehand without a mediator and still majority give the custody to the mother.

Studies have also shown that in cases of parental involvement, father's involvement is positively correlated with the mother's. If the mother is involved, the father is more likely to be. If she is not, for any type of reason, the father will also put less effort to be involved in their child's life.

And women initiate 80% of the time, despite being statistically more likely to stay in bad relationships.

Honestly, I just don't see the benefit of getting married as a woman besides for the status of being married or the feeling of "having someone".

It seems to me like there are a lot of advantages for a man to be married..

[–]CausalDiamondentropic pill 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I married a woman and she gained benefits like citizenship. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

[–]UnfurtletDawnPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When everything is combined the difference in spending for the household as a whole not that big.

https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/03/14/men-women-work-time/1983271/

"Work time — paid at a job and unpaid at home — is almost equal for American men and women, says a report out today that shows men clocking in at 45.6 hours a week and women at 45.2.

But it's not 50-50 in terms of work on the job and at home. Men spend about 10 hours a week more than women in paid work, and women spend about six hours more in household work and an additional three hours more in child care, says the analysis, by the Pew Research Center."

So men spend slightly more time...

It's always nice when women says "women spend more time in house chores and taking care of kids and they work too"

It would be as stupid as men saying "men spend more time working and they do house chores and take care of kids too"

Yeah women do more house chores and child care but men still work more hours than women.

Estimate is that 10-30% of men are unknowingly raising a child that is not theirs. So I doubt you wanna play cheating card and the "leaving baby mamas" high chance that they are not leaving their child.

Highly doubt that women are more likely to stay in bad relationship than men. Especially since they are 80% of the ones that initiate divorce.

And like you don't have to get married. You can still have relationship but not get married.

But it can still be financially beneficial since you share the costs etc... Plus if you want kids and someone that can help you if you have bad time.

[–]ImaginaryList174 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's how little they think of men. They think we only exist so they can take advantage of us.

There is no "they". The amount of women who think and act this way is such a small percentage yet you guys act like literally every single woman in the world feels this way.

[–]JumboJetz -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women kindof give us this impression. They love to belittle men and talk about taking advantage of men for free drinks. Make jokes about marrying an old guy and taking half his stuff. Talk about how they are Princesses and men should “woo” them etc.

Women help add to the narrative that taking advantage of men is a sport and that men should kindof be expected to be taken advantage of.

[–]Magnito-was-right 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Marriage benefits men more than women though. I would never try to scam anyone out of anything, but men are happier being married than women are.

[–]NockerJoePervert Palpatine 29 points30 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

The thing is its not just apps. Most bars and clubs I've been to have mostly been male. Most parties too. Thats why most cover charges for events charge women half as much if men are socially permitted to make a move, or else just let them in free.

A lot of discourse on dating assumes that if you look for a reasonably stable person you'll find one in a relayivley straightforward way but IMO a lot of venues will swing heavily to one direction or the other.

Speaking anecdotally most woman I've ever known who struggled wuth dating was a homebody who didn't really go out and quit most apps the moment they had a bad experience. The ones who act innundated with choice are an extreme minority compared to the ones that just kind of expected a boyfriend to fall from the sky on them.

[–]Oli_love90 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bingo, I’m an introverted person, who rarely goes out and works in an environment full of married people. I’m admittedly pretty sensitive when it comes to feeling insulted so I literal do not have thick enough skin to keep trudging through the apps.

[–]Katelyn89Married, just here to observe 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Bars, clubs, parties... those are all more for hookups than dating, though.

[–]CausalDiamondentropic pill 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not necessarily...I met my wife at a club and she never engaged in hook-ups. She just likes the music, doesn't know how to flirt and is from a foreign country lol.

[–]rivetcitymayor 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Where do you go to date ?

[–]Katelyn89Married, just here to observe 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I met my husband on a dating app. He differentiated himself by being really nice, interested in me, didn’t turn weirdly sexual right away, and got to know me because he was ready to settle down and communicated that quickly.

I met my ex at Starbucks.

I met another ex through mutual friends.

I met another through work (bad idea).

[–]coolcpplearner 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I met my husband on a dating app

Have you tried being a man on a dating app? None of the things you mentioned is going to make a difference. To check this, make two profiles: one with a guy with a few inches below average height and one with a few inches above average height (Same pics of course). You'll notice a huge difference in matches and likes based on this alone.

[–]JumboJetz 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Online Dating = You are wasting your time bro there are 4 men for every 1 woman!

Approaching at Starbucks = Men are street harassing me as I go about my day!

Meeting through Mutual friend = Can’t men ever not hit on me when I meet them socially!

Meet through work = Sexual harassment!

Just about all of the ways you’ve actually met partners either don’t work or women specifically tell men they shouldn’t meet women these days as it makes them feel harassed and unsafe.

I’ll admit my comment about meeting through mutual friends is probably my flimsiest but hopefully you understand mens plight here. We can NOT win.

[–]Psych_FI 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very few of my single friends party or go clubbing. Most of my friends that do have long term boyfriends now and my single friends are more introverted and usually don’t want to meet guys in that type of environment.

[–]SmithersinkPurple Pill Man 18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don’t understand how men think dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are a good judge of women’s preferences, when women hardly even use these sites! You’re specifically selecting for women who are more into hookups and who care about superficial qualities, since these are what dating apps do best at. On top of that, when 80% of the user base is female, of course women (who I think are less superficial than men) are going to judge men’s attractiveness more harshly, since this is the only thing they’re going off of; women generally don’t find most men attractive based on looks alone, so of course when they’re asked to evaluate men based only on this, they’re only going to find attractive the men who are clearly extremely physically attractive.

[–]Sparkmetodeath 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Precisely — I see a lot of people basing their opinions off of experiences had on dating apps, which is just unwise. There’s obviously a specific kind of woman who is drawn to using a dating app, considering how few women actually do. They’re not experiencing the full spectrum of personalities.

[–]BitsAndBobs304 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Hardly ever use " = main rising couple formation source

[–]InfoVariety-8842 44 points45 points  (68 children) | Copy Link

Someone had an interesting thought on PPD the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it: a large set of women just don’t care about dating at all, and don’t see dating as an imperative need, or blow to their ego. They come home, put on their sweatpants, and fall asleep to crime dramas. Maybe texting a family member or close friend, or socializing within that small group. No interest in expanding it or meeting new people.

This is always characterized on PPD as “they can go outside and get dick whenever they want” but I don’t even think it goes that far. I think they just make no effort and don’t feel the pressure to be in a relationship, unlike men who are conditioned to see it as a blow to their ego if they can’t snag a woman.

[–]AcanthocephalaNew947Willing to tell you its your face not your personality. 30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

unlike men who are conditioned to see it as a blow to their ego if they can’t snag a woman.

Men are conditioned to prove their manhood via fucking women not being in relationships. So yeah some women do avoid that. Society shames us for the casual sex men want so we say no and many men go without.

[–]huhwhatokokRed Pill but I fold for good pussy 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The average woman has no reason to actively seek out dating, because it’s widely available to them. I’d argue the worst thing about OLD is it self selects for the pickiest women who aren’t satisfied with IRL options.

[–]learn2earn89 19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is me right here. The only guy who I’ve been interested in the last 5 years rejected me and so I don’t really feel like going through any of that again. I sympathize with men, how awful to be attracted to many women, but not getting any of their attention. My flaw is only being attracted to one man but never getting their attention. It’s a lot of effort to be attractive to men anyway, I have to shave my entire body (I’m hairy), groom my eyebrows, do my really unruly, wiry hair, keep slim, and accentuate the boobs I don’t have just so that I could keep a man’s attention while he jerks off to women 10 years younger than I on pornhub, Not worth it. I understand men who don’t put effort either. The internet has done a number on all of us.

My passions right now are getting home from work, having a nice dinner, listening to good music, watching crime shows (as you stated lol), exercise, and cool shows like House of the Dragon and Stranger Things.

Contrary to popular belief, most women aren’t seeking Chad every week. Most of us single ladies are spending time with family and escaping reality via television.

[–]JumboJetz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have you ever tried presenting your unkempt self on online dating and seeing if any takers?

If the worry is the effort you need to put in your appearance why not see if any men will accept you when you put no effort in to your appearance?

[–]BasicallyYogurt 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh they care, but it's a Chad / prince charming or bust attitude. I got no issues with that, but it is funny to see them complaining about there being no good men when they are basically unhealthy overweight hermits whose personality is the latest reality tv show

[–]ImaginaryList174 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh they care, but it's a Chad / prince charming or bust attitude.

No. Some of us really don't care at all.

[–]MrsKetchupNo Pill 9 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

This is it. Plenty of women now go about their lives with a "nice if it happens, fine if it doesn't" outlook on relationships, it's certainly what I've seen in my own circles. Which I suppose can be seen as a double edged sword. Women now are marrying for love instead of necessity, which is a stronger bond, and the divorce rate has already hit a 50 year low. On the other hand, being that it's not a necessity, there's less marriage overall and probably more men feeling left out. Marriage today is quality over quantity, better for those involved but an increasing number of those being left without

[–]JumboJetz 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Women will really start feeling this when they are old and don’t have kids. Kids have always been a safety net for women but when they choose not to have them they really don’t understand the safety net they are giving away.

[–]captainkurai 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Telling women to have kids as a safety net for old age does not work anymore honestly. I also don’t understand why women are always told this but not men.

[–]fiftypoundpuppyRadFemmeFatale 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's selfish to have kids just so you think you'll have a caretaker when you're older. No one should be born with a job.

[–]LiftSushiDallas41F Your Pill is Retarded 7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Childless women make more money than women with kids. And women are more social. They don't need kids for a safety net or to use as a hobby.

[–]JumboJetz 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Lol try having your also 80 year old BFF who is struggling with her own medical bills and living on a fixed income help pay for elder care or navigating the very complex healthcare bureaucracy. Your post is copium.

And it’s rather ridiculous to assume a single person incurring expenses and not sharing any will have more wealth than an elderly woman who has received her husbands inheritance. The data does not support you that single people are wealthier than coupled people in old age.

[–]throwaway164_3 -2 points-1 points  (50 children) | Copy Link

a large set of women just don’t care about dating at all, and don’t see dating as an imperative need, or blow to their ego. They come home, put on their sweatpants, and fall asleep to crime dramas.

Those women are probably fat 😂

[–]ImaginaryList174 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Those women are probably fat

Some are, sure. But not all.. some of us just don't care to date at the moment. We have recently got out of long term or bad relationships, are sick of online dating, have had a few bad dates or would just rather be alone for a while. Right now the way that I see it, is I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm alone, I have a great house that I love renovating and decorating how I want, I have a great job, amazing friends/family, and 2 huge dogs that I love more than anyone.. I've basically been in a relationship my whole adult life.. first bf from age 16 to 23, then second bf from 24 to 32. Now I just turned 34 and I've spent that last year single and happier than ever. I don't feel the need to add a man that is just going to bring headaches and drama. So unless I find someone who adds value, and I'm 100 percent sure of.. what's the point?

And before you say it, I'm not fat at all. I'm 5'3 and like 120lbs.

[–]fiftypoundpuppyRadFemmeFatale 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is me and my life exactly except I only have one dog (she doesn't care for other dogs). They have to convince themselves that we must be undesirable or defective in some way because it's a personal affront to their egos to know that women exist who are living full, happy lives and are content to stay single rather than deal with them. They're single and unhappy so we should all be.

[–]y2kjanelle 9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You give fat women a lot of attention in your comments, you know that right? I went in your comment history and a bunch of times you mention you're sad to hear women aren't losing weight and you want to see a woman's progress.

Instead of trying to insult women about their weight, I'm sure there are some things you could spend time on to improve dating.

It was your words that people vent on reddit because they care and you have dozens of comments surrounding fat women.

Why is that? Why are you mocking the women you care about so much deep down?

[–]throwaway164_3 -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You give fat women a lot of attention in your comments, you know that right?

Really? Outside this specific thread I don’t think I have. Are you sure you’re not confusing my reply to another poster who replied to the very comment you did?

Besides, on average, fat women are objectively unattractive. The difficulties they experience in dating, and the frustration they express on Reddit, can be alleviated if they simply lose weight. Isn’t it natural to feel sad when you hear that? All these women feeling frustrated at dating, that can be solved if they lose weight.

Besides, being fat is really harmful for one’s mental and physical health. There is nothing to celebrate about being fat.

[–]y2kjanelle 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You spent time writing detailed responses to a allegedly fat woman consistently. You were drooling more than her over her potential love life. You are the one that cares.

Who cares if fat women are unattractive? I don't think that at all. I find fat women hot as fuck all the time and so do men tbh.

It's not just fat women. There are single, skinny, pretty virgins who are complaining relentlessly too. Literally my friends like that are literally just celibate because dating is so bad. I'm skinny and my options in dating aren't great. Men aren't magically better options. They just feel more inclined to force their sexuality on you more because they're attracted to you.

Fat doesn't equal unhealthy though. I could bet money that fat people have better eating habits, exercise routines, etc than me and have had those routines for longer than I had. I just don't gain easily right now even with birth control adding 10 lbs I'm 117 right now.

I think we should celebrate fat people every day. And we can do that without celebrating or promoting unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise.

[–]nemma8834/F/UK Engaged 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Those women reject a guy who then comes to PPD and posts every week about how women overvalue themselves.

The idea here being regardless of what she looks like, she doesn't care.

[–]throwaway164_3 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree with most of that.

I think they both care though, the unattractive fat women who aren’t willing to settle and still wants Prince Charming, and the unattractive men who want casual sex with hot women and aren’t getting it.

They just cope in different ways. However they both vent on Reddit precisely because they care.

[–]DreamsOfWishesNo Pill 4 points5 points  (39 children) | Copy Link

And?

If you are not dating...what's the point in not having pizza once a week and pasta another day and bread for lunch and a piece of chocolate with your morning coffee?

I'm not dating, those are big sacrifices.

Would I still like to be hot? Sure!

At the price of not eating more then 30gr of carb with every meal and not ever being able to have fastfood and needing to cut a 3-5 pieces of vegetables...every...single...day, not even counting fruits, and cook everyday? At price of having salmon be a cheat ingredient? And avocado? Not together btw? Nooooooooooooo!!!!

I'm not even taking my clothes off, why would I do that?

Offcourse I'm fat. I have a single people's budget for food (healthy fastfood is like +30dollar per meal) and less fucks to give about my weight.

Why is this a gotcha?

[–]throwaway164_3 -1 points0 points  (38 children) | Copy Link

Oh dear, this is just so sad to read 😞

Being fat is bad for your physical health, mental health and financial wellbeing.

I would encourage you to join a local community fitness program if possible. You’ll find it’s easier to lose weight as part of a group.

The wonders it will do to your outlook on life, happiness, mood and overall well being cannot be understated. Losing weight will completely change your life to a better one, please use that superpower when you can!

[–]y2kjanelle 6 points7 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

I'd rather a woman be happy and somewhat healthy than starving herself and not being able to enjoy life and constantly stressed.

I'd rather a woman be fat and love herself than be skinny and think life is a drag that aims to please and attract men.

Tell me this honestly, if any fat woman got super skinny and is super pretty, would that secure her a good man? Not just any random guy, but a good one. One that has the 666? One that has a car? Good credit? A guy who knows how to do household chores and has a skin care routine and is emotionally intelligent? Emotionally available? One that doesn't require waiting for "potential"? Never heard of a guy giving a fat woman a chance because she has "potential". But women are terrible for not wanting to wait for a guy to "make it" while he has no car and needs a ride everywhere?

Would being skinny and pretty mean that men would magically become better options?

Because last time I checked, Beyonce got cheated on. She's one of the most beautiful natural women. She's got multiple gorgeous children. She's won multiple grammys (79 nominations) and literally won a humanitarian award. She dated SIGNIFICANTLY down in terms of looks and still got cheated on.

Even the good, skinny, pretty, kind, amazing, virgin women are asking where the good men are. Women in relationships are saying how lucky they are NOT to be out here dating. It's not just single, fat, promiscuous women.

What would women be working for?

[–]DreamsOfWishesNo Pill 4 points5 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

physical health

Obviously

mental health

And heavy restriction isn't? Like dude...come on...be honest!

financial wellbeing

I literally listed money as a reason in my previous post.

You’ll find it’s easier to lose weight as part of a group.

I.dont.give.a.fuck.

I understand the importance if I have a boyfriend. Currently all the consequences are on me and I don't care.

The wonders it will do to your outlook on life, happiness, mood and overall well being cannot be understated.

Oh, I've been skinny before.

I can advice you to stop giving a fuck to get a better outlook on life, happiness and mood. Like, I'm still not cheery...but I'm so much better then trying to chase the perfect body. There's days of happiness now. DAYS!!! Full days!!!

Trying to chase skinny...was max until dinner and then you felt fat again, regardless of actually being fat and got unhappy. That was crying to sleep 3-5 days a week.

...I'm a woman bro. Not a guy who gets their fuckfest dream if I get skinny. I don't get the same benefits from it as you do.

[–]lovelythecove 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, they did say “a LARGE set of women”

[–]NotARussianBot1984RPM, personal experience, not complaining. I love my life. -3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hard pass a girl with a low libdo that she doesnt date for years. Been there, not interested.

[–]SmilesLikeMardiGrasseriously, like have you seen my silhouette SHEESH 24 points25 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

tinder taps into the male free use fantasy harder than anything has since the sexual revolution. its 10000% based on the male sexual imperative and male sexual nature, duh its Grindr. its so completely antithetical to female sexuality and female nature

[–]AcanthocephalaNew947Willing to tell you its your face not your personality. 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn I didn’t think about it that way but you’re right.

I think that’s why so many stay on and insist tinder is ‘all dating sites’ no tinder is specifically a site for easy casual sex, that’s what it sells and men stay on it holding out for the hope that maybe just maybe they’ll eventually get a crumb of easy pussy.

[–]Fussingtonstation -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This

[–]Sekina7FDS Femme Fatale -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

THIS!

[–]ruboyuri 24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men also think they’re sex apps, not dating apps — just like in real life

[–]Katelyn89Married, just here to observe 28 points29 points  (83 children) | Copy Link

As someone who was on the apps for years before I met my husband (who I met through an app, go figure), I think the biggest problems with the apps are how men act once they get the a woman's attention. They basically demand free sex or they go on the attack when they don't get it. This isn't just "Chads" either, it's regular guys with massive levels of entitlement that feel perfectly fine treating Tinder like Fuck 4 Free and will call you an ugly/fat/stupid bitch if you don't reciprocate. Women leave the apps because it's degrading, demeaning, and a huge waste of time, then men complain that the only "women" left are OnlyFans IG models and bots.

If the apps were good, useful, productive, or effective for women, we'd use them. My friends, like me, have had countless awful experiences and regularly go off them for our own mental health.

[–]Oli_love90 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes! The sheer lack of decency has turned me off the apps forever. Everytime I even think of going back, I have a movie like montage of all the shitty things matches have said/done.

[–]Katelyn89Married, just here to observe 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah, if my husband and I don't work out, I'm never going back to apps. Or dating in general. You couldn't pay me, it's horrible.

[–]NockerJoePervert Palpatine 12 points13 points  (31 children) | Copy Link

Its a chicken/egg issue. Aggression is required because the gender ratio is what it is. If you take it slow you'll just get ghosted an overwhelming majority of the time because there will be at least half a dozen other matches and you need to hold their attention.

If men acted the way you wanted they'd get zero results with the dynamic what it currently is. Women might have an improved experience but theres no actual thing to gain from men in this case. The skew also generally means there isn't really a clear way to give positive reinforcement. If the average man got 10 matches a day and then their bad behavjor turned off 9 they'd change, but statistically the average man gets two matches a week and you can't really pull a pattern from a sample size that small.

[–]OhyarlysmilesI'm the guy in my profile pic pill 15 points16 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Aggression isn't required at all.

Literally just drop contact info, tell her to hit you up if she wants to meet. If she does anything but say 'yes i'll text you' or text you, never respond. No need to be aggressive.

When you are on the date, you just screen for if she's physically attracted to you. If you go for a touch and she acts weird about it, then politely end the date. Key word, politely.

The above is just what I do, but the idea is that at the first sign of incompatibility, you politely excuse yourself.

No real need to call people bitches and all that. It's rude.

[–]NockerJoePervert Palpatine 4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but I'm not the one you're advising. Most dudes don't get far enough into the process regularly for that to work by raw stats because the information you can oicj up is very limited.

[–]OhyarlysmilesI'm the guy in my profile pic pill 7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

There's literally no positive ROI on calling a woman names after she rejects/disappears/ghosts/whatever on you. Whether you get 1 match a month or 100.

[–]howdoiw0rkthisthing 9 points10 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

If you take it slow you'll just get ghosted an overwhelming majority of the time because there will be at least half a dozen other matches and you need to hold their attention.

Believe me, you can hold a woman‘a attention without devolving into naked aggression.

[–]throwaway164_3 15 points16 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Believe me, you can be the most polite and least aggressive guy, do everything perfect, and still get ghosted. This is because women are the selectors.

Men tend to follow whatever strategies work via positive reinforcement.

You should not take it slow. As a man, it’s best only to send a few messages then set up a real life date and see if the chemistry is there.

Men cannot afford to take it slow as they are replaceable.

[–]howdoiw0rkthisthing 5 points6 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I do believe you. When I said you can hold a woman’s attention without being nakedly aggressive I didn’t mean you should be a wallflower. I can’t figure out how being proactive is the same as

call you an ugly/fat/stupid bitch if you don't reciprocate

[–]AcanthocephalaNew947Willing to tell you its your face not your personality. 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Good aggression- hey I’m interested in meeting and talking over coffee may I have your number?

Bad aggression - so are we gonna fuck?

Let me let you guess which aggression is used more and why.

[–]NockerJoePervert Palpatine 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sure, but when even good aggression has a low success rate there isn't really any stimulus to keep doing it even it you try.

[–]AcanthocephalaNew947Willing to tell you its your face not your personality. 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What a cop out.

Not being a sexual fiend doesn’t work so I might as well be a sex fiend and still fail

[–]ImaginaryList174 -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Aggression is required because the gender ratio is what it is. If you take it slow you'll just get ghosted an overwhelming majority of the time because there will be at least half a dozen other matches and you need to hold their attention.

There's a lot of room to maneuver between aggression and taking it slow/boring. Straight aggression or explicit stuff right off the bat is an immediate block for me, and I think for a lot of girls. What I think has the best success and the most likely chance of keeping attention long enough to get the persons number or a date, is humour. And not lame, stupid humour either.. like it has to be actually funny. The mix of funny/flirty is really what I respond to best on OLD 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–]NockerJoePervert Palpatine 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Everyone knows that dumbass. Now keep in mind most women don't follow a conversation for more than a few sentences regardless of how you tackle it and you'll see why so many people stop giving a fuck if they look charming and witty to someone who'll probably ghost within the next 30 seconds.

[–]ImaginaryList174 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry babes did tinder hurt you? Do you need someone to talk to? You seem very pent up and defeated.

[–]BigOleGreenTrees 6 points7 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Seriously!! Soooo many men demanded I just go to their house the first night. A stranger I've never met and don't even know if he's the person in his pictures. All I ask is to meet in public first too, I'm still down to fuck on a first date but holy shit buy me 1 drink first.

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Soooo many men demanded I just go to their house the first night.

Be honest, did they really "demand" it or suggested it?

[–]BigOleGreenTrees 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Who cares are you here to argue about semantics? If saying "come over" counts as a suggestion more than a demand doesn't change or challenge my point

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes it does change the point. It's context, and context is everything.

It is so well understood that context is that important that the majority of humanity has agreed that the mental objective behind an action completely changes the story behind an action.

To argue otherwise is to be deeply ignorant.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddMen should not date virgins 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Lol, I've had girls have me pick them up first date at their house and immediately come to my house from online even though I PERSONALLY didn't suggest it

Some girls just ruin it for you I guess

[–]BlackGriffin_1 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

your white and over 6ft of course women would be cool with that. The rest of us dont have that luxury.

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddMen should not date virgins 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No no I'm not saying it's common. I'm saying it happens and when it does those girls ruin it for the other girls bc some guys come to expect it. I don't expect it tho lol

[–]decoy8Lord [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was fun times tho…

[–]BigOleGreenTrees 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ok, but if a girl asked you to meet in public first what would you say? These guys literally say no. No sympathy for how attraction works or the risk of meeting a complete stranger from the internet. Both men and women can be taken advantage of in these situations. I hope these men who can't understand that never have to leave their house! I don't want to meet them!

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddMen should not date virgins 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd say yes (and even did meet a girl for coffee before inviting her over about a week after the first time a girl just came over after a phone convo and nothing else), but that's not the point. The point is that if a girl does do that then it ruins it for the girls who don't if a man thinks "well, some girls will just come over"

[–]TheSongsInYourHead 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ok, but if a girl asked you to meet in public first what would you say? These guys literally say no.

You know when I hear women complain about men sometimes I have to wonder where on god's earth they are finding them.

He hasn't even had sex with you yet and he already can't be bothered to pretend to care about anything else? That's crazy. I have to assume that these men are the kind of giga-chad that can get away with that.

[–]rivetcitymayor 7 points8 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

I’ll speak for the men here, once you go on enough dates where you pay and you don’t get sex nor a second date, that shit gets annoying

[–]Katelyn89Married, just here to observe 1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

You aren't owed sex or a second date for paying. And the kind of guy who thinks he's owed sex for paying for a date is often the guy who won't get a second date.

[–]throwaway164_3 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Exactly right, and women aren’t owed commitment either just because they slept with a guy once 🤷🏽‍♂️

Any woman who think she’s owed commitment after sleeping with a guy once is often the one who’ll get nexted.

[–]Sekina7FDS Femme Fatale 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Which is why commitment minded women will not sleep with you until you demonstrate you're on the same page. What is the issue?

[–]billieshakes11 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wtf does this even mean? lol. There are women right now literally begging men to text them back. I ghosted a girl twice before, TWICE, and she still took me back. We need to stop with this idea that women require generosity and altruism when choosing sexual partners. They choose based on men they value. It's that simple. Which is their right. But no need to make it more than what it is. Hate when y'all say this shit. lol

[–]rivetcitymayor 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I never said i was owed sex did I ? I said it gets annoying so don’t be surprised if guys are upfront about sex and how bout going Dutch becomes the norm

[–]Sekina7FDS Femme Fatale 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Annoying why?

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddMen should not date virgins 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

And the kind of guy who thinks he's owed sex for paying for a date is often the guy who won't get a second date.

Very true, just like the kind of girl who uses sex as a bargaining chip instead of a shared mutual experience is never going to get a bf or husband

[–]Sekina7FDS Femme Fatale 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

A girl having her own bodily autonomy is not "bargaining". It is usually the man in pursuit of the woman. Not happy go elsewhere or blame your loser bros who demean and defame women who would gladly sleep with you early but knows you'll look down on her the second you cum. Nonsense you ruin it for yourself Wally.

[–]Sekina7FDS Femme Fatale 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

So you think paying for a date equals I am entitled to sex? Why not hire a SEX WORKER?

[–]rivetcitymayor -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I never said this

[–]Sekina7FDS Femme Fatale 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ll speak for the men here, once you go on enough dates where you pay and you don’t get sex nor a second date, that shit gets annoying

You literally did is as many words. Otherwise why would not getting sex after one/two dates be "annoying" , do you make it clear at the start that this is what and ALL you expect/want??

[–]BasicallyYogurt 3 points4 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Well yeah the guys u swipe right on can afford to treat you that way. The people who can't afford to do that aren't attractive to make the cut. And your definition of a "regular" guy is almost certainly not regular.

Women choose on these apps, and it's funny you try to blame all men for having poor discernment.

[–]Katelyn89Married, just here to observe 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

I literally said “average guys”

[–]BasicallyYogurt 3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

And I'm saying women have no clue what average is, which is true.

[–]Katelyn89Married, just here to observe 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

So you think we’re stupid? We don’t have eyes? I’m well aware of what average is. As an average woman myself, I’m familiar with the type 😂

[–]Sad_Entertainer6312 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well Tinder is the original hookup app. It was the heterosexual response to Grindr.

[–]Katelyn89Married, just here to observe 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, then it was doomed to fail because women generally don't want casual hookups to the same extent that gay guys do. I think it has become a more neutral dating app, and that's how most people see it.

[–]Sad_Entertainer6312 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It worked fine at the beginning. It broke when women tried turning it into a dating app.

[–]melody_of_Islamic Women Were Right About PPD 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why do you think 80% of men end up on dating apps while only 20% of women do 🙃

[–]SmoOoothModerator [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because many of the shy little bitch boys who never tried irl because they are too scared are on there.

Plus the men who aren’t shy little bitch boys are also on there.

Combined, that makes it a whole lotta men.

[–]Liberated_Asexual 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting how there's always more single men than single woman, even prior to dating apps. There is zero evidence to suggest we are an explicit pair bondings species. Most evidence suggest we are a hybrid between pair bonding and tournament species, with the type of environment dictating the greater bias.

[–]coolcpplearner 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This has been discussed a lot recently here. I think the main reason women are lower in numbers in old is because they are able to find partners quicker so they delete apps quicker than men.

[–]whyamiherewhatawaste 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's my experience. It took me 2-8 weeks to find someone to date exclusively with 1 date a week. And I'm pretty picky.

[–]kokorwqac 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

then the men they matched with also would get off

[–]CameronJohns88 12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Women rated the men on tinder as 80% being below average in looks

Even if tinder is mostly men, that wouldn’t dismiss the data

[–]bluemooncookiedough 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That might also have to do with the type of woman that would use tinder. More likely a woman who values looks if she is open to casual encounters. Every woman I know who wanted a connection couldn't last more than a week on dating apps. They even tried using the more personality based ones but were flooded with casual offers. It honestly just makes you feel gross.

[–]Academic_Snow_7680 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is my experience from Tinder. I unironically feel 'too good' to be on that site, swiping away on guys that I would never give the time of day out in the real world, as if I've got anything in common with them.

And then most of them don't even write a bio. They put such low effort into their profile that it is obvious that he doesn't know how to put effort into anything.

Some guys there look alright and seem like ok dudes but they still seem to run on the "sex app" mentality and not "dating app" like the women are more prone to seeing the app. Depending on age of course, younger people seem to think that Tinder is for hookups only, older people see it more like a cheap dating site and they want more substance.

I can't be bothered with small talk online, it is such a waste of time. If somebody asks me out on a date I request that we speak on the phone first in order to see if we have anything in common. So far I have not had a single successful hit.

Guys that I am interested in are found in certain places and I need to go there to meet these guys. I can't just hang on Tinder and expect some fluke to bring me a guy that's interested in [insert obscure interest] and loves to dance to music while he cooks.

I need to go to [obscure interest place] and talk to people, or go to a cooking class and see what happens. Clever obscure interest guy is very unlikely to materialise out of Tinder.

[–]decoy8Lord [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

Many women feel that way. Which is why so many of y’all constantly delete and redownload dating apps.

“I shouldn’t have to need it!” appears to be a prevailing thought in many women’s ego

[–]badgersonice 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it’s the OK Cupid study you’re referencing, then while women rated men like that, they didn’t actually act on that notion. It was the men whose actual behavior was skewed more 80/20– men messaged the top most attractive women dramatically more than they messaged the women they voted as most average. Women’s actual messaging behavior was much more balanced than men’s.

There’s also the odd catch that, I believe at the time of the OKCupid study, if you rated a man with 4 or 5 stars, it would automatically alert him that you were interested… which it’s entirely possible to find a man physically attractive and not want to date him. For example, say you’re looking for marriage and kids and he doesn’t want that… even if you think he looks amazing, you might artificially vote lower to avoid sending a false signal.

[–]KayRay1994 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

and that’s been the case throughout history - its almost as if women don’t value looks nearly as much as men do and instead look more at other characteristics - the problem with the conclusion you’re drawing is it is from a very male mind, women flat out don’t think the same way and don’t view attraction the same way

[–]fruitycoolwhipProstate Orgasm Pilled 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think you understand how those surveys are conducted or how to interpret the results. It doesn’t matter if there are 100 women or 100 million. Sample size doesn’t affect percentages. 100 women saying that they find 80% of the dudes unattractive is the same percentage as 100 million women saying that.

Introducing more men or removing men from the pool wouldn’t affect the percentage of men that they find attractive.

[–]kokorwqac 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You explained my past post better than i could, capitalism is screwing with all of us

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The apps that aren’t focused on casual sex but on actual dating probably are not skewed 80/20, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they are still 60/40 or something like that since men are more desperate to meet women even for relationships than vice versa.

[–]CatchPhrazeMaster Of Memeology 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you do a better job at filtering out sex workers (not looking for dates/hookups) and bots then it's even worse lmao.

[–]RRBeachFG2 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most girls I know are on or have done online dating. /thread

[–]5_7pickup 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why OLD is trash. It’s a 4:1 ratio. It absolutely makes no sense. If you’re trying to find a girl, would you go to venues/clubs/bars where the ratio is 4:1? Lol what a joke.

[–]carritotaquito 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I said this A LOOOOOOOONG TIME AGO...

But so many of y'all called me crazy.

[–]missionarymechanic 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Religious dating apps (Christian, anyways) are skewed the opposite direction. Real life numbers are 3:2 female-to-male participation in churches. Even if you account for the elderly and women outliving men, it's still pretty close. The niche sector that I fit in is even worse, being anywhere from 5:1 to 8:1 single female-to-male missionaries.

There are some interesting things that go on. Males tend to marry and stay on the field, the turn-over for women is significantly higher. Female missionaries are significantly less likely to marry the men in their new communities, and it's believed to be mostly an unwillingness to accept the cultural expectations of local women (personally, I think there's also some ingrained class barriers in both directions.) Meanwhile, men who marry into the community tend to have far less friction when they stay in that culture.

Now... there is an actual dating website dedicated to missionaries. I tried it. I interacted. Based on those interactions, dying single and childless would be an acceptable outcome. I don't act like an entitled tool, because it doesn't matter what the numbers are. Everyone plays the lottery because they think they're going to win.

Meanwhile, I actually have far better response overseas. Women are a lot more approachable and friendly. It's... weird when you're not used to positive response and suddenly it's like you jumped 5 points on the attractiveness scale (If I climb any higher I might make it all the way to zero, baby!) Just surviving dating in the US at all apparently turns you into an elite. It's not all "perception of wealth," either: Novelty of dating a foreigner, having an accent when you speak their language, having physical traits that strongly differ from the mono-culture (pale skin and grey eyes are very uncommon where I'm at,) it works.

As far as dating overseas goes? Don't think you're going to land a wife over a vacation by waving money and a passport around. There's a lot of doors that don't open unless your social circles overlap and unless you're staying. Trust me, "leaving everything behind" sucks. No one really wants to do this, and the ones that do may need counseling or you should probably avoid altogether. In a lot of conversations that I overheard talking about me, "Is he staying here?" was a very common question; it's an important question. And when the answer is, "Da," people, especially grandmothers, start scheming.

[–]statsfoddernot blue, not red. 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Disingenuous argument.... they say that 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the guys.

If there are 80 guys and 20 girls then then 18? Of The women are only interested in 18? Of the guys.

Seriously you lot try so hard for the "gotcha!!" You miss the point entirely.

[–]OhyarlysmilesI'm the guy in my profile pic pill 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Nah.

The 80/20 rule is based on who's having casual sex. In real life about 50-60% of the sex is had by 20% of the people. This allows for the extrapolation.

And the 80/20 rule really wouldn't have anything to do with the skewed gender ratio. The 80/20 rule operates on the principle that any time, anywhere only the top 20% of men are getting casual sex.

[–]BigOleGreenTrees 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The 80/20 rule is actually men projecting how they view dating onto women. The very study you pull the "rule" from actually shows that 2/3rds of men are going for the top hottest 1/3 of women and that ultimately men value appearance much more than women. LOL

[–]OhyarlysmilesI'm the guy in my profile pic pill 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

No that's not the study.

I use the GSS...

[–]Cat_in_the_hat113 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The one that showed 72% of young men and 82% of young women having had sex in the past year from when it was gathered (believe it was 2017)?!

You're using a study that showed 72% of young men having sex, to claim 50% of men AREN'T having sex???

[–]OhyarlysmilesI'm the guy in my profile pic pill -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's not what I claimed.

Read what you read.

[–]supershotmd 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not really a 6'2" six-pack Bugatti driver. Because obviously that's way too tiny a % of the population - nowhere close to 20%. But it is a tall, white/biracial/hispanic man with a face amenable to TikTok that makes under 100k but above minimum wage.

And they don't have harems because most women do not accept explicit polygamy (though this is slowly changing). It is more about side-pieces and rotating FWBs, while also having a gf. Often times the only title these girls get is "a girl I'm talking to". They hide their phones from their girlfriend but also play silly pranks on social media like "watch my gf's reaction to leaving a fake eyelash/perfume smell/etc.". 20% of men would only need to hold the interest of 3 ladies each for them to take up the entire pool of women looking to date. Obviously there are some average men in relationships too with average women. So really they just need to take up 2 each for it to feel like 80-20.

[–]Any-Bottle-4910 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Nah. I used to watch guys simp away with girls who would head to my apartment the next morning. I had a girl knock on the office door of my bar to apologize for walking in with a date (we’d been fooling around once a week or so in the afternoons) and she blew me in the office.

If you’re lucky, it rains sex. If not, you struggle. I’ve been on both sides of it.

[–]Cat_in_the_hat113 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]throwaway164_3 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It really does though. Women enjoy casual sex too, it’s just their bar is very high.

[–]Any-Bottle-4910 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bingo. When you have options, you get really picky. I’d take any offer pretty much until I’d been lifting weights and bartending for a couple years. I got instantly picky AF. So I get it when women are picky. Having options makes you picky, and it becomes ingrained over the years.

Seeing the state of dating reinforces my joy in being solidly married. I’m happy regardless, but this shit scares me if we ever split up. Nightmare out there.

[–]Any-Bottle-4910 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hater. Lol. It did. Since this is an anonymous platform, why the fuck would I make it up? If this was Facebook, I’d never say any of the things I say here.

Sorry about your dating life. Mine was great.

[–]KayRay1994 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men need to get off these apps and interact more in person - find hobbies and classes with decent gender ratios, make friends, put yourself out there - literally anything is better than relying on apps that clearly don’t work and that only exist cause they’re exploiting a man’s increasing desire to find a date

[–]AffectionateVideo4551 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

これらの愚かなインセルたち😂😂

[–]Mrs_DrgreeNow Accepting Simp Applications[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do not troll.

[–]RealNiceLady 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with OP. Men need to get off apps and date women they encounter in daily life.

[–]Kahing -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

IMO any decent dating app will have restrictions on male registration to ensure a fairly balanced sex ratio.

Dating apps can still work, they just need to be geared towards actually matching people than raking in profit.

[–]vogel777 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you're on to something op.

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[–]darkvalleys 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aka “An Inconvenient Truth”

[–]bunnakaybirth control pill 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also worth pointing out that not everyone does OLD, and in my experience, only certain types of either men or women do. So unless you want those types, there's no reason to use it.

[–]lostwanderer28 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Again Western idea of harems and actual harems in the ottoman empire are not the Same.

First and foremost, the harems in the ottoman empire were purely about education. Girls were educated BY WOMEN. The only men that were allowed to get in the harem were men who are castrated so to say. And the Sultan himself? The Sultan most of the time was roaming his empire or being on the Frontline in fights, the Sultan literally had zero time to go into harems he had to trust his wife and his servants that they do a good job.

We think about harems as sex orgies because of western writers who visited the Ottoman Empire and just ended up writing fanfictions or sexual novels, we basically just keep on repeating and believing multiple perverts' fantasies.

[–]Necessary-Worry1923 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So IRL, the vast majority of American women are NOT on Tinder.

Tinder is most used in the USA

From all the other countries, Tinder is most used in the USA. In September 2019, Tinder reported that 7.86 million Tinder users were from the US.

This means 12% of Tinder users are from the USA.

https://datingranking.net/tinder-statistics/#:~:text=According%20to%20a%202019%20study,much%20less%20often%20than%20men.

[–]GoodLookingManAboutT 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's surprising. I get tons of matches.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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