The only "80/20 rule" on dating apps is that 80/20 is literally the male-to-female user ratio on them

MAGA-Latino · 2022-09-27T15:59:26+00:00

I think there must also be bots on there to keep the men (customers) engaged and continuing to bother logging on.

NockerJoe · 2022-09-27T15:33:17+00:00

The thing is its not just apps. Most bars and clubs I've been to have mostly been male. Most parties too. Thats why most cover charges for events charge women half as much if men are socially permitted to make a move, or else just let them in free.

A lot of discourse on dating assumes that if you look for a reasonably stable person you'll find one in a relayivley straightforward way but IMO a lot of venues will swing heavily to one direction or the other.

Speaking anecdotally most woman I've ever known who struggled wuth dating was a homebody who didn't really go out and quit most apps the moment they had a bad experience. The ones who act innundated with choice are an extreme minority compared to the ones that just kind of expected a boyfriend to fall from the sky on them.

Smithersink · 2022-09-27T18:45:10+00:00

I don’t understand how men think dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are a good judge of women’s preferences, when women hardly even use these sites! You’re specifically selecting for women who are more into hookups and who care about superficial qualities, since these are what dating apps do best at. On top of that, when 80% of the user base is female, of course women (who I think are less superficial than men) are going to judge men’s attractiveness more harshly, since this is the only thing they’re going off of; women generally don’t find most men attractive based on looks alone, so of course when they’re asked to evaluate men based only on this, they’re only going to find attractive the men who are clearly extremely physically attractive.

InfoVariety-8842 · 2022-09-27T16:04:23+00:00

Someone had an interesting thought on PPD the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it: a large set of women just don’t care about dating at all, and don’t see dating as an imperative need, or blow to their ego. They come home, put on their sweatpants, and fall asleep to crime dramas. Maybe texting a family member or close friend, or socializing within that small group. No interest in expanding it or meeting new people.

This is always characterized on PPD as “they can go outside and get dick whenever they want” but I don’t even think it goes that far. I think they just make no effort and don’t feel the pressure to be in a relationship, unlike men who are conditioned to see it as a blow to their ego if they can’t snag a woman.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-09-27T16:17:47+00:00

tinder taps into the male free use fantasy harder than anything has since the sexual revolution. its 10000% based on the male sexual imperative and male sexual nature, duh its Grindr. its so completely antithetical to female sexuality and female nature

ruboyuri · 2022-09-27T16:36:44+00:00

Men also think they’re sex apps, not dating apps — just like in real life

Katelyn89 · 2022-09-27T15:28:10+00:00

As someone who was on the apps for years before I met my husband (who I met through an app, go figure), I think the biggest problems with the apps are how men act once they get the a woman's attention. They basically demand free sex or they go on the attack when they don't get it. This isn't just "Chads" either, it's regular guys with massive levels of entitlement that feel perfectly fine treating Tinder like Fuck 4 Free and will call you an ugly/fat/stupid bitch if you don't reciprocate. Women leave the apps because it's degrading, demeaning, and a huge waste of time, then men complain that the only "women" left are OnlyFans IG models and bots.

If the apps were good, useful, productive, or effective for women, we'd use them. My friends, like me, have had countless awful experiences and regularly go off them for our own mental health.

melody_of_ · 2022-09-27T18:58:02+00:00

Why do you think 80% of men end up on dating apps while only 20% of women do 🙃

Liberated_Asexual · 2022-09-28T04:51:05+00:00

Interesting how there's always more single men than single woman, even prior to dating apps. There is zero evidence to suggest we are an explicit pair bondings species. Most evidence suggest we are a hybrid between pair bonding and tournament species, with the type of environment dictating the greater bias.

coolcpplearner · 2022-09-27T23:12:51+00:00

This has been discussed a lot recently here. I think the main reason women are lower in numbers in old is because they are able to find partners quicker so they delete apps quicker than men.

CameronJohns88 · 2022-09-27T17:55:03+00:00

Women rated the men on tinder as 80% being below average in looks

Even if tinder is mostly men, that wouldn’t dismiss the data

fruitycoolwhip · 2022-09-27T22:33:01+00:00

I don’t think you understand how those surveys are conducted or how to interpret the results. It doesn’t matter if there are 100 women or 100 million. Sample size doesn’t affect percentages. 100 women saying that they find 80% of the dudes unattractive is the same percentage as 100 million women saying that.

Introducing more men or removing men from the pool wouldn’t affect the percentage of men that they find attractive.

kokorwqac · 2022-09-27T16:52:15+00:00

You explained my past post better than i could, capitalism is screwing with all of us

wtknight · 2022-09-27T17:18:09+00:00

The apps that aren’t focused on casual sex but on actual dating probably are not skewed 80/20, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they are still 60/40 or something like that since men are more desperate to meet women even for relationships than vice versa.

CatchPhraze · 2022-09-27T19:10:31+00:00

If you do a better job at filtering out sex workers (not looking for dates/hookups) and bots then it's even worse lmao.

RRBeachFG2 · 2022-09-27T22:20:07+00:00

Most girls I know are on or have done online dating. /thread

5_7pickup · 2022-09-27T23:41:30+00:00

This is why OLD is trash. It’s a 4:1 ratio. It absolutely makes no sense. If you’re trying to find a girl, would you go to venues/clubs/bars where the ratio is 4:1? Lol what a joke.

carritotaquito · 2022-09-28T00:31:59+00:00

I said this A LOOOOOOOONG TIME AGO...

But so many of y'all called me crazy.

missionarymechanic · 2022-09-28T00:41:44+00:00

Religious dating apps (Christian, anyways) are skewed the opposite direction. Real life numbers are 3:2 female-to-male participation in churches. Even if you account for the elderly and women outliving men, it's still pretty close. The niche sector that I fit in is even worse, being anywhere from 5:1 to 8:1 single female-to-male missionaries.

There are some interesting things that go on. Males tend to marry and stay on the field, the turn-over for women is significantly higher. Female missionaries are significantly less likely to marry the men in their new communities, and it's believed to be mostly an unwillingness to accept the cultural expectations of local women (personally, I think there's also some ingrained class barriers in both directions.) Meanwhile, men who marry into the community tend to have far less friction when they stay in that culture.

Now... there is an actual dating website dedicated to missionaries. I tried it. I interacted. Based on those interactions, dying single and childless would be an acceptable outcome. I don't act like an entitled tool, because it doesn't matter what the numbers are. Everyone plays the lottery because they think they're going to win.

Meanwhile, I actually have far better response overseas. Women are a lot more approachable and friendly. It's... weird when you're not used to positive response and suddenly it's like you jumped 5 points on the attractiveness scale (If I climb any higher I might make it all the way to zero, baby!) Just surviving dating in the US at all apparently turns you into an elite. It's not all "perception of wealth," either: Novelty of dating a foreigner, having an accent when you speak their language, having physical traits that strongly differ from the mono-culture (pale skin and grey eyes are very uncommon where I'm at,) it works.

As far as dating overseas goes? Don't think you're going to land a wife over a vacation by waving money and a passport around. There's a lot of doors that don't open unless your social circles overlap and unless you're staying. Trust me, "leaving everything behind" sucks. No one really wants to do this, and the ones that do may need counseling or you should probably avoid altogether. In a lot of conversations that I overheard talking about me, "Is he staying here?" was a very common question; it's an important question. And when the answer is, "Da," people, especially grandmothers, start scheming.

statsfodder · 2022-09-27T17:09:01+00:00

Disingenuous argument.... they say that 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the guys.

If there are 80 guys and 20 girls then then 18? Of The women are only interested in 18? Of the guys.

Seriously you lot try so hard for the "gotcha!!" You miss the point entirely.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-09-27T16:00:24+00:00

Nah.

The 80/20 rule is based on who's having casual sex. In real life about 50-60% of the sex is had by 20% of the people. This allows for the extrapolation.

And the 80/20 rule really wouldn't have anything to do with the skewed gender ratio. The 80/20 rule operates on the principle that any time, anywhere only the top 20% of men are getting casual sex.

supershotmd · 2022-09-27T17:33:45+00:00

It's not really a 6'2" six-pack Bugatti driver. Because obviously that's way too tiny a % of the population - nowhere close to 20%. But it is a tall, white/biracial/hispanic man with a face amenable to TikTok that makes under 100k but above minimum wage.

And they don't have harems because most women do not accept explicit polygamy (though this is slowly changing). It is more about side-pieces and rotating FWBs, while also having a gf. Often times the only title these girls get is "a girl I'm talking to". They hide their phones from their girlfriend but also play silly pranks on social media like "watch my gf's reaction to leaving a fake eyelash/perfume smell/etc.". 20% of men would only need to hold the interest of 3 ladies each for them to take up the entire pool of women looking to date. Obviously there are some average men in relationships too with average women. So really they just need to take up 2 each for it to feel like 80-20.

Any-Bottle-4910 · 2022-09-27T15:31:36+00:00

Nah. I used to watch guys simp away with girls who would head to my apartment the next morning. I had a girl knock on the office door of my bar to apologize for walking in with a date (we’d been fooling around once a week or so in the afternoons) and she blew me in the office.

If you’re lucky, it rains sex. If not, you struggle. I’ve been on both sides of it.

KayRay1994 · 2022-09-27T20:10:53+00:00

Men need to get off these apps and interact more in person - find hobbies and classes with decent gender ratios, make friends, put yourself out there - literally anything is better than relying on apps that clearly don’t work and that only exist cause they’re exploiting a man’s increasing desire to find a date

AffectionateVideo455 · 2022-09-27T15:38:12+00:00

これらの愚かなインセルたち😂😂

RealNiceLady · 2022-09-27T20:08:23+00:00

I agree with OP. Men need to get off apps and date women they encounter in daily life.

Kahing · 2022-09-27T19:48:56+00:00

IMO any decent dating app will have restrictions on male registration to ensure a fairly balanced sex ratio.

Dating apps can still work, they just need to be geared towards actually matching people than raking in profit.

vogel777 · 2022-09-27T22:27:18+00:00

I think you're on to something op.

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lostwanderer28 · 2022-09-28T10:38:37+00:00

Again Western idea of harems and actual harems in the ottoman empire are not the Same.

First and foremost, the harems in the ottoman empire were purely about education. Girls were educated BY WOMEN. The only men that were allowed to get in the harem were men who are castrated so to say. And the Sultan himself? The Sultan most of the time was roaming his empire or being on the Frontline in fights, the Sultan literally had zero time to go into harems he had to trust his wife and his servants that they do a good job.

We think about harems as sex orgies because of western writers who visited the Ottoman Empire and just ended up writing fanfictions or sexual novels, we basically just keep on repeating and believing multiple perverts' fantasies.

Necessary-Worry1923 · 2022-10-02T17:43:27+00:00

So IRL, the vast majority of American women are NOT on Tinder.

Tinder is most used in the USA

From all the other countries, Tinder is most used in the USA. In September 2019, Tinder reported that 7.86 million Tinder users were from the US.

This means 12% of Tinder users are from the USA.

https://datingranking.net/tinder-statistics/#:~:text=According%20to%20a%202019%20study,much%20less%20often%20than%20men.

GoodLookingManAboutT · 2022-10-06T16:25:25+00:00

That's surprising. I get tons of matches.

Title	The only "80/20 rule" on dating apps is that 80/20 is literally the male-to-female user ratio on them
Author	jj24pie
Upvotes	59
Comments	148
Date	September 27, 2022 2:22 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-only-8020-rule-on-dating-apps-is-that-8020-is.1133707 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133707
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xpi5kh/the_only_8020_rule_on_dating_apps_is_that_8020_is/