There's a growing attitude around reddit that men who wind up with abusive girlfriends / wives brought it on themselves. And while I'm sure there's blame to be had with ignoring red flags and things like that, almost nobody wants to criticize the women in these relationships.

And it's not like these women are all that rare, either. Especially for a lot of men who don't have looks / money. All the non crazy, non red flag girls are taken. So all the mean and emotionally unstable ones are left to pair up with all the "nice guys". And then people wonder why they get bitter about everything, especially when we place all the blame on them instead of holding the women they're with accountable for their actions.

We shouldn't be encouraging men to "fight back" and be confrontational. What we need to do is encourage women to be nicer to men and not take advantage of them.

Sure we need to talk about red flags and tell these men to stand up for themselves. But we need to do this while recognizing that what they are experiencing is emotional abuse, and that the women who are doing this need to be held accountable for their actions.

Blaming nice guys for being nice and winding up in abusive relationships is tantamount to victim blaming.