There really is NO WAY of knowing when a woman is FLIRTING with you

Steakman1 · 2022-06-19T15:50:10+00:00

Nothing is guaranteed and there’s always a layer of risk. And social awareness plays a role. I’ve had women who are a little drunk get touchy and I could tell they were into me. My aunt also gets touchy with everyone when she drinks. But I’ve never once thought it was because she was attracted to me.

These things CAN be signs of flirting. But it doesn’t guarantee she is flirting if she does one of these things.

SpiritualEnema · 2022-06-19T15:45:12+00:00

It’s pretty simple man. If a woman is into you there is hardly anything you can do wrong, if she isn’t then you can’t do anything right. Learn to read body language, it will generally tell you the truth when you’re getting mixed messages from her words.

md8716 · 2022-06-19T18:12:19+00:00

Men don't come out of the fucking womb as babies already knowing how to talk to girls. It has to start somewhere and be learned, and improved upon. It's a feedback loop.

If you're somewhat attractive in high school and can get girls to be into you without really having to try that hard, then you get more experience flirting because they just gravitate to you. You figure out what they like to hear, how to escalate, and so forth. You learn from that experience and develop game from it.

But at least in high school, awkwardness and inexperience is expected. If you're a late bloomer, you have a much steeper learning curve to overcome. That's all there is to it.

forthetinderelllas · 2022-06-19T19:17:57+00:00

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everleexc · 2022-06-19T16:37:30+00:00

This is why i believe hard pursuing a women in the modern/western world is a waste of time. If the women truly liked you, she would give you obvious signs/sexual hints.

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-06-19T17:43:13+00:00

I've read a number of subs on Reddit dealing with relationships, sex, dating etc. Many of these subs are primarily frequented by younger people, I'm not. I read them because I find it intriguing how the minds of younger folks work. I look at one called seduction in which guys talk about strategies to bag girls/women. They attend seminars and pay huge sumscif money in order to learn a routine that could help them score more. If you read some of their posts, you'd think you'd run across some people talking about selling things. It's glaringly apparent that they are looking for a method that's quick, easy and they don't have to put much time and effort on. I see that dynamic in the items posted. No, there isn't a magic bullet, which I believe people believe exists. There are times when men and women flirt, just for the sake of flirting.

EnteFetz · 2022-06-19T18:19:41+00:00

I was dating a girl for 3 months, but only had a few very brief kisses with her and never got any further. She broke up with me because "nothing has ever happened between us" and because I am too boring. I tried to explain to her that she never gave me any signals that she wants to be touched or anything like that. Usually when I tried to kiss her she would lean away. A few weeks in dating her I told their that I would like to kiss her to say hello and god bye everytime we meet and ever since I told her that she managed to turn away in always the exact moment so that I could not kiss her. But then she blames me that never anything happened between us and that she is getting frustrated that things are going so slowly. I have the impression that she has some weird mental blockade and is therefore unable to show what she wants and just expected me to take her, but that would be rape. Or she was just never attracted to me at all.

sarkington · 2022-06-19T16:43:57+00:00

Or, you could just ignore the women who aren’t up front about things. I know, what a crazy idea!

bluestjuice · 2022-06-19T22:56:22+00:00

Somewhere there was a study that found that basically nobody is good at determining when someone else is intentionally flirting with them.

I dunno, that always makes me feel a bit better. We all suck at this but at least it’s fun.

AelfredRex · 2022-06-19T16:36:06+00:00

The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. That is the starting point to knowing.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-06-19T17:11:43+00:00

yh that's why you ramp up the flirting gradually and see how she responds if you think she's flirting.

Lazy-Hat2290 · 2022-06-19T16:17:03+00:00

Just ask her out and you will see if she flirted with you or not.

Easy.

Head-Language-2977 · 2022-06-19T16:05:28+00:00

Every woman flirts differently, but I think a good method is to compare how she treats you and acts around you compared to other men. If she treats you just like every other guy, then you’re most likely just like every other guy in her eyes.

anon-sucks · 2022-06-19T15:56:28+00:00

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techr0nin · 2022-06-19T16:50:38+00:00

lol. Even if the girl was actually into you, if you are acting like a socially inept weirdo she’s gonna play the plausible deniability card and hit you with one of those responses.

WorldController · 2022-06-20T00:10:32+00:00

This exemplifies how contemporary dating culture is not only deeply unfulfilling but even distressing and unprincipled. This needs to change.

Temporary-Drawing212 · 2022-06-20T00:42:51+00:00

It's not simply look at behavior and assume she likes you, Context matters, comparison on how she acts around other men and how frequently does she do these thing need to be taken into consideration.

SmakeTalk · 2022-06-20T02:51:11+00:00

It takes practice and intuition. The ability to read body language and guide a conversation is hard to learn but it is possible to learn, and you certainly won't learn it from simply reading about it. You gotta get out there and learn through trial and error - just fail respectfully and be nice when women reject you.

Johnny_Autism · 2022-06-19T18:29:52+00:00

Men: “Women, please give men compliments and smile at men”

Also men: “When women are friendly I always assume they want me”

Gigamon2014 · 2022-06-19T18:36:53+00:00

Yep.

I've slept with literally hundreds of women and even I still don't know what cues are a lot of the time. They're so random. Society has also gotten worse in this regard considering how many young women are seemingly socially awkward and absolutely unwilling to show any interest in a guy they're interested in. Crazy times.

To note though, it is easier on things like nights out when alcohol is involved...but if you're not relying on parties or night life based activity then it's a pain. Even more so if you're dude who is even half way decent looking.

Again though, this is going to be another thread where the women on here deny its a problem and the "bluepilled" dorks who suck with the opposite sex anyway (you have no idea how many dudes think they're good at flirting but are absolutely cringe as fuck) puff their chests about how anyone who struggles must somehow be an autist.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-06-19T15:48:19+00:00

Flirting is a very nuanced thing that changes with the person, mood and situation.

The skill is to go “I wonder if this is a flirt” and then flirt back in the same range to see what the response is.

Novadina · 2022-06-19T18:30:48+00:00

Yes there is a very simple way. If you have been flirting with someone and think she was flirting back, ask her out. If she says no, then you probably misinterpreted her body language, and if she says yes you interpreted correctly. After practice you will be able to tell easier.

sunsetgal24 · 2022-06-19T20:02:26+00:00

Uh, yeah, because flirting and just expressing a platonic like for someone look very similar. That is why we can't assume anything just because of someone's body language.

It's totally fine to ask someone out because you think they might be interested, but you have to be aware that that is not a guarantee. You don't get to go "But you did X thing so you HAVE to be attracted to me!", that's just a dick move.

Electrical_Coat_8714 · 2022-06-19T21:38:19+00:00

When you're smoking that post-coitus cigarette in bed you can then safely assume she was flirting.

TheChishIsHome · 2022-06-19T22:48:32+00:00

As it turns out humsn beings don't have a manual with rules in it you can follow and get an expected result. Are you just discovering this?

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-20T02:11:40+00:00

That's why you assume every woman you meet is into you and treat her like you are already sleeping with her and soon you will be. Waiting for the right sign is just another excuse.

FatmanSlim93 · 2022-06-19T17:19:37+00:00

Your autism is showing my man. It can suck at times trying to a read a chick but most of the time it ain’t that hard.

decoy88 · 2022-06-21T01:24:16+00:00

Yes there is a way: by asking her out.

2022-06-19T17:01:59+00:00

Nobody’s going to mock you for shooting your shot. You might get rejected though. No hint is ever going to be so clear as to remove the possibility of getting rejected. That vulnerability is literally a required part of dating.

toasterchild · 2022-06-19T18:13:03+00:00

I don't think guys get mocked for interpreting the gestures and asking the woman out, they get mocked when they get all defensive when she turns them down. If a socially confident guy asks me out and i say no he says ok cool and we keep talking like normal people. If a socially inept guy asks me out and I say no then he starts saying "but you were giving me signals!" Just because someone flirts with you doesn't mean they are going to accept your advances.

caption291 · 2022-06-19T20:19:37+00:00

If I didn't know how wonderful women are I would say that this smells an awful lot like plausible deniability.

But you know, women aren't insecure like pathetic men are and the only reason they don't approach is because it's not socially acceptable.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-06-19T21:31:02+00:00

Sorry man I'm going to have to disagree, it's pretty easy to tell if a woman is flirting with you. Maybe your social skills just aren't up to par.

drew8311 · 2022-06-19T18:04:48+00:00

More than half of these are obvious signs of flirting.

Left-Requirement9267 · 2022-06-20T10:53:47+00:00

You are a creep

lorenzo156 · 2022-06-20T17:50:16+00:00

Well yeah, for any normal guy he wouldn't risk an accusation of rape, let alone the charge. #metoo allowed some unscrupulous woman to simply say that she was sexually assaulted/raped without doing anything more. Women have more power these days than men.

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ruboyuri · 2022-06-19T15:51:49+00:00

You reward game players, that’s on you

2022-06-19T16:23:00+00:00

I recognize all your numbered points verbatim I’m pretty sure I saw these on /r9k/ 💀💀💀

lilickybitch · 2022-06-19T19:12:48+00:00

No way other than verbally trying to get that knowledge, right? Thats unheard of, communication. Or oh! I know! Not assuming peoples intentions and- were back to the communication now- asking them out? Taking initiative? Idk. And if SHE wanted to do this, she would :).

Hoopy223 · 2022-06-19T20:05:37+00:00

You ask her out. That narrows it down very quickly.

listAmbitions · 2022-06-19T21:43:42+00:00

Learn the process and sequence of arousal.

Also a man does the moves. I start in the first minutes.

By an three hour mark I have kissed 90% of the time.

These_Invite · 2022-06-20T01:38:01+00:00

There are ways to tell if she's flirting with you, you just have to not be dense and pay attention

rootsnyder · 2022-06-20T11:37:23+00:00

There absolutely is a 100% chance of knowing when a woman is flirting with you. Considering getting tested for ausbergers or testing your EQ.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-06-20T13:42:39+00:00

Ask them out anyway. Move on if they say no.

Otfd · 2022-06-20T15:27:04+00:00

This is only slightly true. Majority of the time when I was certain I was correct. Yes, occasionally you misinterpret it but that's why you don't open up with "can I take you behind the dumpster" after she touches your arm..

Instead, you play it slow until more evidence of liking you is available. Worst case if you don't jump to the extreme, you simply say "I am sorry, I thought you were interested".

Pretty simple stuff.

2022-06-20T15:56:40+00:00

Username checks out. Neurotypicals tell by reading social cues and body language.

infinitofluxo · 2022-06-20T16:18:44+00:00

In the end I don't think it matters because usually men won't get it anyway, we are already inclined to doubt their signs because men are not meant for subtle communication.

The best strategy for men is to try their luck. Girls that treat them well are better options. Strangers, only if you look like Henry Cavill.

just_a_place · 2022-06-20T21:32:51+00:00

Of course there is... the only sure way to tell if a woman is flirting with you is if you flirt right back!

I'm being serious!

If she is not flirting with you she will back off and you will clearly see her mood change and she will retreat to herself, smile less, and start putting up obstacles to your advances. If she is flirting she will continue to be friendly and smiling and welcome your clumsy advances.

Rule of thumb: ALWAYS ASSUME SHE IS JUST BEING FRIENDLY. The only way to tell if she is flirting is if you flirt back and see her reaction. I guarantee you 99.9% of the time she is NOT flirting with you bruh.

sebwiers · 2022-06-20T23:04:04+00:00

Just. Ask.

Sure, they may deny with one of above. So what?

Highflyer47 · 2022-06-20T23:32:19+00:00

Well as the saying goes, better safe than sorry

2022-06-21T04:57:58+00:00

If she likes you she will ask you to go out with her, or sometimes more direct, just to hook up / sex.

Title	There really is NO WAY of knowing when a woman is FLIRTING with you
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	73
Comments	157
Date	June 19, 2022 3:43 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vfxxjn/there_really_is_no_way_of_knowing_when_a_woman_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/there-really-is-no-way-of-knowing-when-a-woman-is.1120848 https://theredarchive.com/post/1120848