There’s a simpler way to teach boys about women. First of all, tell them that women are people.

sadomasochrist · 2019-09-22T02:17:32+00:00

Men wish the nerdy girl lusts for the nerdy guy. That's the issue really. That they'll take it up the ass from "Mr wrong" and either lie or hamster about it with less masculine men who clearly see they're treated differently and have higher requirements to ride the tilt a whirl.

Which ultimately makes your op worthless.

This can only apply to one subset of women, those that don't practice casual sex. Ones that only sleep with men they're committed to or are married to.

As Altas mentioned, bethrothed.

Digedag · 2019-09-22T01:55:00+00:00

Last but most important thing to tell a guy: be realistic. Dont be that guy who says “I want a girl to love me for my personality!” while only pursuing really hot girls who have nothing in common with you.

This assumption that supposedly many men only pursue really hot girls is utter bullshit and proven wrong again and again, most notably by online-dating statistics.

In fact it's the opposite. Women will try to go for men above their league and men have little problem with women of lower SMV.

diffdedbed · 2019-09-22T02:01:38+00:00

And people are strange. Women seem wicked when you're not wanted. Hell even the streets seem uneven when you're down.

goldmedalflower · 2019-09-22T05:27:35+00:00

I disagree with the implication that it is guys who are too picky, unrealistic, standards too high, etc. Overwhelmingly, and it's not even close, is that this applies much more so when you reverse the genders

hammerhaunts · 2019-09-22T00:16:59+00:00

A nerdy girl will want a nerdy guy.

Alllll 5 of them

YetAnotherCommenter · 2019-09-22T05:45:37+00:00

A nerdy girl will want a nerdy guy.

Only if he's hot.

Which implies he can't be too nerdy, as having a certain level of social adroitness is part of the "hotness" package.

So when a nerdy girl says she wants a nerdy guy, what she means is she wants a guy who looks hot, has nerdy interests/hobbies she shares, and is sufficiently socially functional to be able to not "act like" the kind of person who has nerdy interests/hobbies.

Not that nerdy men are much better. When they say they want a nerdy girlfriend, they won't settle for a nerdy woman whom is ugly.

I don't really have too much of an objection to what you said, but it seems like you're packing it with euphemisms and female-flattering terminology without really challenging the core propositions at issue. And that just strikes me as "okay, I'll concede every key argument, at least when charitably read, made by at least some TRPers and some of the more realistic dating-advice people like Mark Manson, but I'm still going to tone-police because I don't like how these ideas, whom I am not even the target audience for, are phrased in ways that don't flatter me or make me feel good!"

I'm fine with saying to young boys that girls aren't really that different from boys. But it needs to be emphasized this means equally superficial, equally shallow, equally indifferent to moral character, equally willing to fuck someone whom is absurdly morally deficient so long as that terrible person stimulates blood flow to the genitals.

In these words.

Not with any mealy-mouthed political-PR-diplomatic-euphemistic bullshit.

Bluntly. Spelling out every implication. With no sugar-coating.

NockerJoe · 2019-09-22T00:06:05+00:00

One thing I think about from PPD is theres a very distinct thought process type that happens in a lot of men and a different one in a lot of women. Neither is super healthy but they create their own neurosis.

Secondly, plenty of LTR's happen on dating apps.

Thirdly, you being this out of touch on dating apps bleeds to other points. Everyone wants the hot guy. Even the girls who arent hot. The hot guy will fuck them and often even commit occasionally so a lot og the non hotties will either take that deal or roll those dice.

mylifesux62 · 2019-09-21T23:50:15+00:00

Jeez i did not know women were humans!!!thanks now i know. You should realize its deeper than that

wtknight · 2019-09-22T02:15:33+00:00

Women are a lot different from men. The way you describe that boys should be taught is basically the same way that I was taught as a boy and I had no idea how to attract a woman all throughout high school and most of college. I had no idea how female hypergamy worked, and that women weren't going to be attracted to me just by me being nice to them.

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-09-22T03:00:19+00:00

Nerdy girls don’t want nerdy guys. They want the hot guys like everyone else. Trust me on this

czerdec · 2019-09-22T09:29:12+00:00

I don't know if you are aware but children are primarily raised by women in the West. It's extremely unlikely that any significant number of boys have been brought up not to see women as people anywhere in the West in the last hundred years.

OP is living in a fantasy dystopia and it's probably a good thing that she probably won't be a mother.

cuckspace · 2019-09-22T02:22:05+00:00

Most men under 50 or even older have grown up with the idea that women are people and are equals. Men do not get red pilled about women because they get indoctrinated by some "toxic men" on the internet or because those ideas are remotely like anything they would like to be true. Men get red pilled by women when they learn from experience that everything they were tought about women and how to interact with them is wrong.

Arobin08 · 2019-09-22T13:06:11+00:00

Men and women are ultimately just people but women have a very different viewpoint and perspective than men do and their gender is going to influence their thoughts and feelings. Men and women have a lot of things in common but they view each other and the world very differently.

Men are really attracted to women in general and want to have sex with most of them, women are attracted to a narrow range and specific men and just kind of have to put up with the rest of men lusting after them who they have no interest in. Men want women a lot more than women want men and that is going to cause differences in how men and women see the world.

decoy88 · 2019-09-22T03:31:27+00:00

I don't flirt with my male friends

If i treat women like i treat men, i won't get laid.

If i treat men like i treat women, they'll assume i'm gay.

realArthurFleck · 2019-09-22T00:04:04+00:00

Children are people, but we don't give them equal legal rights to adults. That's a completely meaningless and platitudinous mantra. Boys are not going to view girls the same way they view other boys, because they're going to feel a lot differently about girls than they do boys, particularly after puberty. Women will always be the gatekeepers of his value in the world, and he will always be justified in being afraid of their judgment. Differences matter. Dynamics between groups with differences matter. The social universes of boys and girls do not resemble each other in the slightest, and when you lie to him as a kid and say that's not the case, when he comes in contact with reality he will develop views and resentments I imagine you yourself would greatly disapprove of. If you don't like "incel ideology," don't tell boys growing up that their social experience and dynamics of finding love are going to be the same as for girls in his cohort. He will see that's a lie when people love girls just for being girls, and no one gives a shit about him.

Second point is fine.

Third point is fallacious because there is not the same distribution of "feathers." There are going to be a lot more slutty party girls than guys attractive enough to do the same. These birds are notorious polygamists, are there are not enough females with enough variation to go around and make every guy happy. There is not "someone out there for everyone." Social media has been particularly destructive to this theory of yours, promoting ultimate conformity among girls from a very young age. They all have the same political views, the same values, they all practice prostitution and think it's just fine. The diversity of personalities among women has rapidly declined from what it was just a decade ago.

The last point is a strawman. In theory that guy is in the wrong, but when a guy says he wants a girl who likes him for his personality, even though he has some minimum standards himself, that does not make him a hypocrite. It makes him just like everybody else who wants to be loved. When men say that, it often means they want girls to like them the same way they like girls, for intrinsic properties of what they are and not just what they can provide.

darksoldierk · 2019-09-22T13:13:59+00:00

I would say that I disagree. This is like arguing that water is hardly different from orange juice. Yeah they are both liquids, yeah you can drink both of them, but they are different, very very different. I'm not a chemist, so I'm sure someone will say "uh, orange juice is mostly water" or some shit, so I'll give an example I do know about. It's like saying that an acoustic guitar and an electric guitar are hardly different. Yeah, they are both guitars, yeah they both play the same notes, yeah they both have 6 strings, yeah they are both made from wood, but they are not the same. There are subtle differences like neck width and girth and string distances which aren't different enough to say that they are two very very different instruments, but there are also major differences that make them two very very different instruments.

But, when you play both instruments, you see the differences. You can't always use the same finger positions on the acoustic and the electric. You won't always get the same sounds, the same dynamics of the music from the instruments. There are vastly different techniques to palm muting, pinch harmonics, tremolo's, sliding etc etc. Hell, fingerpicking picking on an electric when you are used to acoustic is like trying to write with your left hand when you are right handed. Point is, They are different. Men and women ARE different.

Here's what you are doing by telling boys that they women aren't different from men. You are allowing them to determine how women are instead of telling them how women are. So a boy may think "well, I'm sure SOME woman out there will love me for me, even if I am a little fat". You are setting them up for disappointment.

Men have different personalities, but in the dating world, men are also more reasonable. Men don't judge on something that's uncontrollable (ie. height and baldness). Men have shown that they are willing to give up traditional gender roles where the woman stays home, cooks and cleans, but women haven't shown that they are willing to do the same. Women continue to marry up, they continue to expect man to be the breadwinner while also expecting them cook and clean and do traditionally female roles.

Here's a problem with what you said, step three doesn't depend on your other two answers. You approach this from a female mindset. It doesn't matter what men want from a girl, or what type of girl they want, because men don't have the amount of options that women do. Step 1 will always be "ask every woman you see out, and see what type of woman you are most successful with". Then step 2 "determine if the type of women who you are successful with is worth the risk of your commitment, if not, then cope find find substitutes for sex and be prepared to enjoy a lonely life of financial wealth.".

That's it. Men and women are different, and pretending otherwise is just some fantasy. You can't tell things to boys that are so open ended that it lets them see the world in a way that isn't accurate. Saying men and woman aren't different is like saying currencies from different parts of the world aren't different. Not only are you wrong in saying that statement, but you are not helping the individual learn how to obtain any currency from any country. You are just telling them that there's a lot of money out there.

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-09-22T23:17:29+00:00

Terrible advice.

Third thing to remind them that birds of a feather flock together.

This isn't true at all. I mean sometimes similar people end up together but it's just as common to have opposites attract. And most people aren't some extreme absolute archetype anyway.

abaxeron · 2019-09-23T13:08:33+00:00

Women are hardly different from men.

This is where the urge to laugh started building up.

Women aren’t a different species. They’re people.

People with different imperative. There are men who live in a delusion that women are just like men. You call them "nice guys".

damaskrose · 2019-09-22T00:52:30+00:00

RP thinks it's about men's and women's differences but is actually about their similarities.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2019-09-22T03:25:19+00:00

Strongly disagree. They bleed once a month and have to sit down to pee.

Clearly they’re an outdated model.

2stoned0jaguar9tre · 2019-09-22T00:59:09+00:00

Very discriminating people lol

AutoModerator · 2019-09-21T23:44:58+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Almondxxx · 2019-09-22T03:42:37+00:00

Wtf obviously women are people lol

[deleted] · 2019-09-22T09:50:56+00:00

Also, women are people. But they aren't men. Since you seem subconsciously want to imply women are like men. They are NOT.

WaterOnMyHood · 2019-09-22T12:33:45+00:00

Women are people just like men, except for that part where they don't act like men at all.

I-lick-ur-vagina · 2019-09-22T17:51:24+00:00

So where do we find this mystical love?

All my exes were sluts but I promise im not, truth is women dont want love either so they dump men.

Truth is men are actually more romantic than women are in reality.

Bntt89 · 2019-09-22T18:46:00+00:00

I'm pretty sure all women go for chad like guys, they dont girls for ppl on their level. If you can prove to me that women go for their own level than I'll believe you.

CMOAN_MAYNE · 2019-09-22T20:01:08+00:00

This is reasonable but a little simplistic. I think men and women are generally more different than you indicate, but I agree with most of the rest.

AggravatingTartlet · 2019-09-23T03:25:58+00:00

Intelligent OP.

I don't think they will get it though. Too much bitterness in the way.

panzerbier · 2019-09-23T10:28:16+00:00

> Third thing to remind them that birds of a feather flock together.

I unfortunately disagree with this part. I truly wish this was so, but my whole life experience (my own and that of people I know) contradicts this, and supports the 80/20 rule instead, which says that most women go for the same narrow subset of guys (buff, tall, rich, yadda yadda).

Of course, men also have common preferences, but these appear to be more diverse than those of women.

I repeat: I hate this truth and do not want it to be true. I also do not blame any individual women (or men) for their preferences and recognize that there are exceptions. But in general the 80/20 rule holds I'm afraid.

jackandjill22 · 2019-09-24T02:42:31+00:00

Disagree with everything.

[deleted] · 2019-09-24T21:22:58+00:00

You can tell little jimmy women are ppl all you want, it won't matter. In order to treat half of humanity shittily and rationalize it men need to think of women as lesser/the other/mysterious. This way they avoid the reality that they're actually evil. Reference: the whole of human history. Pornography, media, expected gender roles, and older sexist men steamroll anything you say.

gunbusterxl · 2019-09-22T02:24:18+00:00

In a perfect world, this is the best advice.

However, people are flawed and often want someone either out of their league, or with different interests than them. This advice will probably just lead to people getting fed up with dating. Kind of like what’s going on now.

[deleted] · 2019-09-22T08:47:34+00:00

Yep. Then next thing would be telling them that boys are better than those people and to never forget that.

rus9384 · 2019-09-22T10:55:46+00:00

This is too hard for them to comprehend. They have even problems with comprehending such a simplification as TRP.

I mean red pillers, of course. Not all men.

[deleted] · 2019-09-22T00:45:11+00:00

I agree with all of this :)

katymarx · 2019-09-22T18:24:33+00:00

Parents dont let your boys isolate themselves socially where exposure to porn and Instathot FOMO will frame their perception.

Fortunately I think most parents have their kids in a variety of co-ed activities and schools. But there are plenty of introverted isolated people who have introverted isolated children who never learn to socialize with the opposite sex and then become either incels if they're ugly or red pill players if they even lift bro.

Title	There’s a simpler way to teach boys about women. First of all, tell them that women are people.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	22
Comments	227
Date	September 21, 2019 11:44 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/d7ijc5/theres_a_simpler_way_to_teach_boys_about_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/theres-a-simpler-way-to-teach-boys-about-women.263627 https://theredarchive.com/post/263627