What do you think of women that don't have sex for arbitrary reasons?

Dora_Bowl · 2020-06-01T18:24:11+00:00

You called it “arbitrary reasons” in your title, but those do not appear to be arbitrary and often are not. Without further context, I really not think too much about this.

Reisiluu · 2020-06-01T19:01:22+00:00

so they impose all these arbitrary conditions despite wanting to have sex, despite being attracted to and turned on by said man

Things men say:

1) Sex doesn't always lead to a relationship/marriage.

2) Every new partner devalues her for marriage.

Not sleeping with every guy she is attracted to is 100% logical and not arbitrary.

BSGTJ10 · 2020-06-01T18:35:31+00:00

People can have legitimate reasons for not wanting sex sure, but deliberately withholding sex in a manipulative manner to gain something or encourage a particular behaviour? That's when you should leave.

goatismycopilot · 2020-06-01T18:45:17+00:00

Since half the people here who answered are not blue pill I am guessing anybody can answer. I am a woman and I won't have sex with somebody for arbitrary reasons and I am pretty okay with it.

Silly_Field · 2020-06-02T01:20:37+00:00

What’s wrong with not having sex with people for arbitrary reasons? You shouldn’t have sex with anyone unless you absolutely want to.

None of the reasons you listed were arbitrary tho.

Lacuna-Foil · 2020-06-01T19:34:06+00:00

Arbitrary to who, exactly?

Just because they're not what you set as boundaries doesn't mean they're arbitrary. It just means it's that's person's boundaries, to keep or to break as they see fit.

SherbertBacon · 2020-06-01T23:20:08+00:00

Those reasons aren't arbitrary. Arbitrary means without reason or justification. There's plenty of reason to want to wait till marriage, or not sleep with a Trump supporter, or anything else.

It sounds like what you're asking is what I think about women who don't have sex, even when they lust after someone and could with that person. I think they're doing what they want, and that's fine.

NUE4T9x · 2020-06-01T19:14:58+00:00

"no sex before marriage" is an indicator of good character. "no sex with a conservative" is not exactly equivalent, but she can have whatever preferences she wants.

If she's using sex to barter in a committed relationship, then that's bad. I wouldn't think highly of her.

cateml · 2020-06-01T19:17:12+00:00

Using sex as a bargaining tool does not a healthy relationship make.

But I mean - whatever. There are reasons to be attracted to a man while single and not want to have sex with him/in general. It's up to the individual to set up the boundaries and conditions that allow them to feel comfortable.

I mean... I think that we should discourage the idea that women should 'give' sex to the 'worthy', lest they be 'immoral', rather than do it with who they wish. And give women social influence outside of sex. That would... probably 'solve' some of the less healthy stuff. But still - every person's decision who they want to fuck and when.

flamingoinghome · 2020-06-02T01:24:06+00:00

None of those reasons are "arbitrary"?

This is some kind of solipsism. Women who refuse to have sex before marriage aren't doing it out of some scheme (nor are men, but everyone forgets about those guys). It's because the pleasure of sex does not outweigh the pain of violating deeply held personal or spiritual beliefs.

As I am not against premarital sex, I can't speak to that, but I would never have sex with someone whose political/moral views repulsed me, because there is literally no amount of sexual attraction I can feel that would outweigh the pain of feeling like a collaborator who betrayed my values.

There is nothing arbitrary about not wanting to have sex that will cause you pain.

wtknight · 2020-06-01T20:05:24+00:00

I prefer women who want an emotional, romantic commitment before having sex. I don't think I'd date a woman who wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, mostly because it would mean that she is very religious, and also because I'd have no assurance that I'd be having enough sex with her before making the huge commitment of getting married to her.

Any other reason I'd evaluate on a case-by-case basis.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-06-01T20:20:03+00:00

On the other hand I can understand that you dont want to have sex with someone you're pissed off at. So if you think your partner isnt fair, is making your life worse and so on, of course you dont want to have sex with them, right? Maybe those people should just break up but that can go for either side.

petrichordium · 2020-06-01T18:48:35+00:00

Cmon someone like this who had a RELIABLE and ACHIEVABLE rule set would be the ideal woman for the black and white, zero risk tolerance autists here. If female sexuality was truly formalized enough to be “satisfy condition” > pussy, many men here would LOVE that.

The issue is humans aren’t rule sets. We drop rules for ideal exceptions, and we often see rote rule followers as weaklings to be exploited. That’s why trusting women to be perfect arbitrators of their stated values is a fool’s errand, but I’d argue this basic idea applies across genders and outside sexuality.

The issue is there’s generally less female sexuality “on tap” for good boy behavior than there is demand for good boy behavior. That’s why you never jump through hoops for pussy.

DangZagnut · 2020-06-01T18:32:42+00:00

Whatever floats their boat.

Men, however, had better not think about committing to anyone who is like this. Marriage will make it 100x worse.

TheKarmicWoosh2 · 2020-06-01T18:34:09+00:00

They're free to do what they like if those are actually their values.

flowerwoven · 2020-06-01T19:18:57+00:00

Good for them! I respect people with standards. I don't respect people with no standards. The only one I'm not ok with is "with their husband until they agree to let their mother-in-lay move in for the summer." No normal woman would ever do this.

Also, arbitrary means random. Do you really think waiting for marriage is random?

LittyKitsune · 2020-06-01T22:10:59+00:00

I've been assigned BP for liking betas or something.

Specifically women that say they don't have sex before marriage

This is me. Naturally I feel fine with this.

women that say they won't have sex with a conservative

There can be many logical reasons for this, including irreconcilable differences on reproductive issues

with a scrub

Not wanting to get serious with a man with zero long-term goals or prospects is totally reasonable

with their husband until they agree to let their mother-in-lay move in for the summer

Wtf

basically any taking advantage of male thirst to get real life benefits

You seem to be misunderstanding the logic behind withholding sex in most of the situations you posted

2020-06-01T21:56:27+00:00

A woman who practises no sex before marriage has the highest RMV for marriage.

A woman like that would be my first choice for marriage

2020-06-02T12:21:11+00:00

Before marriage is a common one in my circles. Christian.

I don’t believe in using sex as a tool to get what you want.

It’s an intimate act, not a transactional one.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-06-01T19:13:57+00:00

Step 1. google arbitrary.

If you just mean what do I think about women that use sex to deliberately manipulate their significant other? Toxic sluts who should be avoided at all costs.

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Barely-moral · 2020-06-01T19:13:15+00:00

Edit: If I am not considered blue enough then a mod can point it out and I will move to auto mod.

in all situations we assume a mutually desirable sexual relationthis, so they impose all these arbitrary conditions despite wanting to have sex, despite being attracted to and turned on by said man

That is hard to assume. I would never assume that the woman is attracted if she is using sex as a bargaining tool. But for the sake of argument I will assume that.

women that say they don't have sex before marriage

Not for me. I am not marrying and if I was interested in marrying I would never marry nor date a woman that is against sex before marriage. There is only one exception and that exception is if she does not expect me to perform the masculine role and she is still able to love me/feel attracted to me. But that is not happening.

with a scrub

If she is not worth the effort that I have to put to stop being a scrub then I am not interested.

with their husband until they agree to let their mother-in-lay move in for the summer

Divorce immediately. That is not the way to negotiate, talk to or treat your husband.

basically any taking advantage of male thirst to get real life benefits

I don't mind doing my part as long as I am getting what I want in return. I get that relationships are transactional. And I am willing to do my part and bring value to the table.

But there is a reason I put all cards on the table and I establish a clear deal, boundaries, avenues for attending to conflict etc at the beginning of the relationship: Being in a constant state of negotiation is tiresome. I would rather know from the start what is expected from me and what I have to do and the same goes for my partner.

Once the deal is agreed upon then we both do our part and that is it.

Sex is something important to me so it is regulated by the initial discussion/deal and she is able to bring anything she cares about to that initial discussion/deal too.

NarniaFox · 2020-06-02T04:07:33+00:00

You just put a whole bunch of different reasons under one category.

Sex before marriage. They are either religious or value their virginity/n-count. You know, some men are so adamant in their desire to convince everyone that high n-count is bad that they sometimes succeed. Not talking about weirdos believing in telegony.

Not having sex with a conservative or a scrub. Everyone has preferences and some don't want to deal with guys with different political views or levels of hygiene. It's okay. One also can have a physical attraction to a person, but be disgusted by their views or beliefs.

Not having sex with your husband until he does something is pretty shitty and it's just an old plain manipulation. Only if you aren't offended or upset by him then it makes sense as you probably don't want to have sex with a person who you're angry or upset with. But things should talked through.

2020-06-02T15:20:33+00:00

Still trying to find an arbitrary reason. Everything you mentioned is either a matter of belief, boundaries, or weaponising sex. They may seem arbitrary to you because you don’t care about it But you don’t get to tell the gate keeper what is arbitrary.

Arbitrary reasons would be not wanting to have sex with your SO - because he’s wearing a green shirt and he looks better in blue. Something dumb like that

Bntt89 · 2020-06-02T21:32:58+00:00

If a women has a reason it isnt arbitrary, saying they dont want to have sex with a nazi because they are a nazi isnt a reason.

LillthOfBabylon · 2020-06-12T14:29:23+00:00

basically any taking advantage of male thirst to get real life benefits.

Note: NOT GOLDDIGGERS

You say that, but you're basically describing a Gold Digger.
Otherwise, you're not understanding that it is a vetting process.
Why would I fuck a guy that doesn't care about me and has nothing in common with me? That's stupid for women who want a relationship.

women that say they won't have sex with a conservative, with a scrub, with their husband until they agree to let their mother-in-lay move in for the summer,

COMMON FUCKING SENSE.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-06-01T18:24:35+00:00

Specifically women that say they don't have sex before marriage

Fine but if its not an arranged marriage I'd not risk that game.

women that say they won't have sex with a conservative

I get a kick out of fucking my anti-Trump FWB. She starts blathering politics, I smile and nod, and then we talk about things she actually understands. I think its totally up to them but there is a reason women are happier married to conservatives as a group, and lets not forget that most men are conservatives in nature.

with their husband until they agree to let their mother-in-lay move in for the summer, basically any taking advantage of male thirst to get real life benefits.

Now thats right out, the first two are tastes, then you get into using sex as a weapon. I told my wife a long time ago that sex is never to be a reward or a weapon.

Its a joke in our house to an extent. If she wants to do something she knows I won't I tell her "well we can for anal", she hates anal so thats a "no".

2020-06-01T20:45:32+00:00

It's quite simple. If a woman is really attracted to you, she'll let you pee in her mouth after she crawls through her window while her bf is in the other room.

If she uses sex as a trade agreement.... you my friend are the beta bucks.... you are the wallet, the provider, the person she HAS to fuck to get shit done. She does not respect you and she sees you as an inconvenience. If you're in this position you're probably in a miserable marriage or are hanging onto a relationship that isnt worth hanging onto.

Theres nothing to really think about this, that's what the red pill is for, it let's you see how it really is. No matter how much you try to rationalize this.

You CANNOT NEGOTIATE ATTRACTION

If you dont understand that, have fun doing your chores for sympathy pussy.

Title	What do you think of women that don't have sex for arbitrary reasons?
Author	zino193
Upvotes	1
Comments	95
Date	June 1, 2020 6:19 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gupsz3/what_do_you_think_of_women_that_dont_have_sex_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-think-of-women-that-dont-have-sex-for.670538 https://theredarchive.com/post/670538