u/Gravel_Roads encouraged me to post this, following from this thread.

There's been a few recent posts about empathy, and, often with me, I want to clarify definintions

I think the most popular definintion of empathy is to "put yourself in another persons shoes" As in attempt to see the world from their viewpoint to bring further understanding.

This is inherently unnatural for humans as we're often selfish creatures. However, I believe its useful tool to identify and effectively work on solving problems.

I think the pitfall of this is most people confuse empathy with projection

Empathy: if I was in their shoes, with their feelings, experiences and ambitions, this is how I react to the situation

Projection: if I was in their shoes, with my feelings, experiences and ambitions, this is how I react to the situation

They are very similar and it's easy to fall into the 2nd one.

An example more relatable

Empathy: if I was in men's shoes, with their feelings, experiences and ambitions, I would feel frustrated, undesired and discouraged by the idea that my gf would never have had casual sex with me like she chose to do with others

Projection: if I was in men's shoes, with my feelings, experiences and ambitions, I would feel appreciative that my gf did not think of me as disposable sex like guys before her

What ya think? Discuss.