What makes a woman "relationship material"?

Notanothrshitthrow · 2021-09-06T14:27:01+00:00

From my view:

1) Obviously have to be attracted to her.

2) Has to be funny, no way I'm spending that amount of my time with someone who doesn't make me laugh.

3) Has to be smart. Doesn't necessarily have to be in an academic sense but intellectual curiosity is a must.

4) Direct and down to earth communication style (whilst not being the "I'm just brutally honest" type, they suck).

5) Has to have their own passions and interests, no way I'm dating a "I just like gin and Netflix" kind of girl.

6) Doesn't take themselves too seriously and doesn't have an ego.

Blackagar59 · 2021-09-06T14:46:55+00:00

30 y/o here, with a couple of 2-4 years relationships and I can say this:

She needs to try to take care of me as much as I try for her + we need to make each other happy.

The rest is complementary.

Also a nice butt.

silent36 · 2021-09-06T14:27:29+00:00

Some semblance of self esteem. Im tired of the I had to suck a 100 d*cks to learn to love myself trope.

Playful_Dig8694 · 2021-09-06T14:54:21+00:00

Can verbalize a concern with me without screaming. Doesn’t try manipulating me for her own gain/has a sense of fairness, is relatively healthy, wants kids, doesn’t drink(or at least drinks infrequently), won’t judge me for my kind of music, likes a clean house (I can clean the house, I actually like to, she just has to be okay with it.) encourages me to better myself, has interesting interests, takes interest in my interests, isn’t too loud/isn’t a compulsive talker (having a conversation for 14 hours and still feeling like the conversation is cut short), doesn’t mind my hobbies, doesn’t mind me working from home/being as involved with our kids as possible. Preferably has long, long hair.

gangweedsavedme · 2021-09-06T18:43:15+00:00

The only person worth my investment is someone with a good heart.

festival-papi · 2021-09-06T15:39:05+00:00

Has actual goals for herself that she's actively working towards and isn't willing to slack on them just because she's in a relationship
Has to pleasant person to be around. If I couldn't see myself spending a substantial amount of time with you outside of the context of sex, then a relationship can't happen.
Has to be taller than most women, ideally somewhere in the range of 5'8 and 6'0 (without heels). I'm already pretty tall for a guy and just feel that having a partner who's taller than most women would be better for my neck, plus, they're more attractive to me.
Has to be smart, I'm not saying you have to have graduated from MIT around the time you had your first period, but you should be well-versed in variety of topics so that we can bounce ideas off each other. With that being said, I also don't want a woman who sees intelligence as something that gives her a good reason to talk down to people that are "below" her.
Has to be someone who maintains her own health. I'm someone who was taught the importance of maintaining ones health from a young age, so I expect the same out of my partner.

• Has to be sexually compatible. Non-negotiable.

• Has to be willing to have open dialogue about any and all problems whilst being able to use healthy communication methods.

Has to be someone who's willing to be an actual partner, someone who picks up in areas that I lack in and vice versa. Also, I ideally want a woman who supports me in the pursuit of my ambitions as I'm willing to do the same in a committed relationship.

TheSmallerGambler · 2021-09-06T16:10:47+00:00

In the US today?

Just don’t be fat

PurpleManufacturer94 · 2021-09-06T17:50:35+00:00

Hasn't slept with everybody you know

tonyghow · 2021-09-06T14:36:43+00:00

Is this reverse psychology actually asking what kind of man will commit to a woman?

Regardless. What makes a woman relationship material for me is, an easygoing kindness and sexually creative behind closed doors.

A woman who is combative, aggressive, trying to put everyone in their place, will not be considered.

ARGUS_99 · 2021-09-06T22:57:55+00:00

Attractive, Kind, Feminine, Trustworthy and caring

Pretty sure majority of men would be into a girl like that

meme_lords_unite · 2021-09-06T15:45:40+00:00

Not promiscuous. If she views sex as a trivial thing to do for fun, our values don't align.

Intelligent. Can hold a conversation about a wide array of topics and make insightful points. She knows how to debate, not argue.

Financially competent. It doesn't matter if she's rich or poor, she should know how to manage her money. If she blows her money on bullshit, running up a credit card, and living out of her means, that instantly drops her to fuck only status.

Emotionally stable and capable of introspection. If she has a history of mental illness or can't regulate her emotions, no thanks. If she's one of those quirky, "Haha. I'm crazy!" for fun types. Instant pass. She should be able to admit when she's wrong and compromise.

Partnership mentality. She wants to go half and pulls her weight in the relationship. Not because of gender roles, but because a relationship is a partnership. Its us vs. the world. If she wants to be catered to or believes the man should do all of the work... that means I can't trust her to be a good partner, she's selfish and unreliable.

Growth mentality. She likes to improve simply because she enjoys personal growth.

Hobbies. She has hobbies that interests her and occupies her time outside of me and the relationship.

Independent. Not, I'm a strong Independent woman, but the opposite of codependent. She doesn't need or want to be around me 24/7. She has her own life and that means she has to be away from me sometimes.

Pleasant, fun, kind, caring, nurturing, etc. I should enjoy being around her and miss her when she's gone. She should feel like home. Being with her should relieve stress, not increase it. She's nice, sweet, and is a good person until she doesn't need to be.

Freaky. Shes adventurous in the bedroom. She initiates and has fun kinks.

Supportive. If I get out of line, she should put me in my place, even if that means hitting me with a hard, uncomfortable, dose of reality. She should believe in me, compliment me, encourage me, and trust me. She balances me.

Clean. Not messy. I'm ok with a little mess here and there, but my parents did not raise me to be a slob. I've met women that had disgusting rooms. Unacceptable. This also includes personal hygiene.

Responsible & reliable.

A FAT ASS!

Attractive.

No addictions or vices. Everything in moderation. Especially alcohol, weed, video games, sex, etc. Too many of my female friends get black out drunk on the weekends and think its okay. Alcoholism is not fun.

Leftist. I'm a socialist. I'd sand my dick off with 500 grit sandpaper before I fuck a conservative. No matter how attractive she is.

Edit: I would not ask for anything I don't bring to the table. Anything I ask of her, I will provide as well.

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-09-06T15:38:40+00:00

I think many would aggree that it really is up to the ladies. If she wants a traditional relationship, then she must be traditionally feminine, to be able to expect me to be traditionally masculine. She takes good care of the kids and me, keeps the home clean, do all chores associated with women. I do my best to make sure that they are all well off, suffering the lack of nothing in the material sense and take care of chores associated with men. Me doing the dishes for instance is an extra effort and should be appreciated as such. Her opinion will be warmly welcomed and considered, though the final word is mine, unquestionably. This kinda stuff..

If she wants a modern, egalitarian relationship, fine by me. We split the responsibilities around equally and share all benefits equally. We have no or minimal individual budget, we share everything, but of course, we must be in the same tax bracket at least. We make all decisions together and compromise. We make same sacrifices. We work together on our own rule book and stick to it. We both put in the same effort for the same gains. Like a business partnership..

As for looks, i don't mind if she is a little curvy, but can not be obese, or heavier then me. She mustn't be frigid, good quality sex is prerequisite, quantity doesn't matter as much as quality. Good hygene, smell and appearance is a must. Goes both ways i guess.. She must not be bossy or entitled in any case. I avoid opinionated and radical feminist women at all costs, not even one night stand..

If any of the above goes sideways, it's ground for divorce.

What doesn't work is expecting me to be the traditional guy, while she is not a traditional girl (very frequent issue). Or not putting in enough effort in case of an egalitarian setting.

Historical-Agency334 · 2021-09-06T17:01:28+00:00

fun, pleasant, personality, low n count, and good looks. thats it

Barely-moral · 2021-09-06T14:27:21+00:00

What I want/need for my future and my life is compatible with what she wants/needs for her future and her life. I offer what she wants/needs, she offers what I need/want.

bcool_returns · 2021-09-06T15:05:07+00:00

One of my 3 physical types. For hookups/casual, I cast a wider net. But relationships, I'm pretty rigid.
More introverted than extroverted. But not a wallflower either.
Can get dolled up and hit the town a few times a month.
Needs to be able to give playful shit and not just agree. But not too disagreeable either.
Not a super early riser/early to bed type, not sober (but not a huge drinker either).
College-educated+ usually. Able to talk about art and culture. Has an expertise I don't and can teach/introduce me to things.
Well-traveled or curious about it.
Physically active.
Has a good group of girl friends.

Fusiontron · 2021-09-06T15:34:46+00:00

I will rephrase this to what makes a woman a friend vs. a potential girlfriend.

(1) Same values. I have friends of all political and religious stripes but in a relationship we would need to be somewhat close.

(2) Very nurturing, doesn't shame me for opening up about my feelings. Understands our relationship is one of the few places I don't need to do the masculinity act.

(3) Not more than 10-20 pounds overweight. But your face can look like whatever, though.

DillonTheFatUglyMale · 2021-09-06T14:44:20+00:00

Respectable (doesn't have a high notch count) or at least doesn't fuck randoms/one nights. Has a good education. Has a good job/is ambitious. Is trustworthy. Genuine cares about the man. Wants children.

i_wind · 2021-09-06T14:22:50+00:00

being chill af

goatismycopilot · 2021-09-06T15:52:18+00:00

I know a lot of women who are agreeable with their spouses/partners and super unpleasant to others and I actually think it is a very workable strategy.plus I can understand why everybody wants an agreeable partner, it makes life easier.

I had dinner and drinks with a friend and her sister. My friend tends to be quiet and her sister made all these weird passive aggressive comments to her that were subtle put downs. Her sister is a Minister/Pastor's wife and she tried to quiz me on things like what was my five year plan and did I find my work in healthcare fulfilling. So of course I trolled her with my answers. I am sure this woman is a good " wife " but she sure seemed like a shitty sister.

mllhild · 2021-09-06T19:48:14+00:00

Healthy.

Be enjoyable to have around.

Have her own hobbies.

Decent and not self-destructive behaviour.

Complementary skills.

dogmeat116 · 2021-09-06T20:37:58+00:00

I don't have a shopping list of requirements.

Compatible personality and somewhat good looks. What is "compatible personality"? I don't know. We may "click" or we may not and it's hard to break it down to a list of traits. It may be an extroverted social butterfly, or a gentle introverted bookworm, or a rebel punk girl, or... There's more than one recipe for a tasty dinner and there's more than one recipe for a great girlfriend.

Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-09-06T21:02:40+00:00

Dealbreakers:

Chill to be around/ small ego/ doesn't take her to serious/no drama queen
has a fitness compatible lifestyle
basic hygiene
can spent time alone without getting pissed at me

Very nice to have:

doesn't greed with signs of affection and attraction in words and actions
pushed me to get better in a healthy dose

Naus1987 · 2021-09-06T22:44:07+00:00

I’m asexual, so I’ll gloss over the sex parts, lol!!

But a marriageable woman would be someone who’s trust worthy with a good sense of risk/reward. Someone I could have kids with, and truly believe they’ed be a good parent and put the kids above ego or greed.

Someone who can hold their own, and wouldn’t be easily intimidated.

Someone who doesn’t gamble or do drugs. Again, a lot of it is about good risk/reward judgement.

If I’m going to tie my wagon to someone — I want to know that they’re smart enough to look out for their best interest, and that of the team. I wouldn’t want to marry someone who would gamble away our savings or rack up credit card debt because she had an emotional impulse.

No offense to anyone, but a lot of women are incredibly reckless and risk taking.

And be it woman or guy. I don’t want my inner circle of friends to be composed of people who are reckless and emotionally driven.

Those folks are great for entertainment, but not for building a family or community with.

theosamabahama · 2021-09-07T04:28:33+00:00

The only men who are gatekeepers of relationship are men with plenty of options, with plenty of women interested in having sex with them. A man who doesn't have many options will gladly join a relationship with a woman he finds attractive, as long as she doesn't have a serious problem (emotional/psychological problem, addiction, etc).

So it might seem to women that men are the gatekeepers of relationships. But that's only because they are only looking at the men they are interested in: The men who have lots of options.

It's a selection bias.

Uskoreniye1985 · 2021-09-07T10:32:28+00:00

For me it's someone who I am attracted to, enjoy being around, have similar interests, have a similar "life plan" (lack of a better term) and who I would want to be with if shit was to hit the fan.

rredirt · 2021-09-08T23:40:13+00:00

I swear the more i read the comments and the more absurd it get and it’s hella entertaining. Almost everyone in here looks like in need of a horse tranquilliser level drug. Isn’t the base of a relationship to help each other get to a state of genuine happiness between trials and errors? Why it doesn’t look like so many can’t just quit and let the partner go if things don’t work out and can’t accept other forms and ways of happiness people might find out while in said relationships? Women are human beings like men and absurd standards hurt mostly men unfortunately:/.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-09-06T14:27:38+00:00

Low body count, no kids, submissive, and she really cares about you and is in your corner. If she is all those things and is at least a 7, a guy would have to be really stupid to not LTR her.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-09-06T20:14:22+00:00

These days? "From another planet..."

All women, planet wide, are indoctrinated with "men are shit and women are awesomesauce" crap feminism has insidiously brainwashed into people's heads. And this attitude rears it's head from the first date, through courtship, into the relationship, the marriage, the divorce - a man's entire experience with her, poisoned.

Quite franky, anyone who thinks that way of me can fuck right off. I want nothing to do with them.

So, my answer is "from another planet".

Women- "You're a piece of rapey privileged shit and I hate your gender but for some reason I still want you around but DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND that I *NEED YOU* BUSTER!!.... and if you don't make my life better in all ways I can think of - consistently - I'm OUTTA HERE. And I keep the house, the kids and the dog. Just leave your wallet on your way out."

Men- Wow. How romantic. How about you go fuck off over there and I go MGTOW over here...

Just can't wrap my brain around trying to love a creature who hates me. But, it does serve as a testimonial as to just how bad male thirst is.

PeskyHijinks · 2021-09-06T15:47:04+00:00

Having traditional feminine energy (this doesn't mean be a 1950's housewife), but that's become so rare that it's borderline extinct outside of religious communities. But sadly those some communities have a lot of regressive problems that I am not fond of either.

goneaway2thewind · 2021-09-06T15:51:36+00:00

A man can decide to be in a relationship with any woman. That's why it seems so unclear what establishes value. But the key point here is how much emotional reward he receives for his efforts in pursuing her. It's more of a compatibility requirement than a "value" one.

How happy is she with the lifestyle I live? Does she fit inside of it or is there friction?

How do we sexually pair? Does she match my frequency? Will that change?

Is she satisfied with my efforts? Can I sustain that?

Every relationship is an investment for a man. They have limited time and resources to provide so they try to pick wisely. And like investing, you do so to reach financial freedom and not be stuck in a 9-5(dating) forever. The major point that turns a hoe into a housewife is direct compatibility that indicates long term success.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-09-06T22:50:15+00:00

If we were in the past century I would say "I need to feel like I love her".

In this day and age, she needs to prove to me she loves me.

PD: the real "I love you" I mean, not the "I thought I loved my 31 exes but I was wrong, but now I'm sure I love you" kind of love.

Glum_Status94 · 2021-09-06T17:06:43+00:00

half of these men need a mom who they can fuckBasically

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-09-06T14:57:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

HOLYREGIME · 2021-09-06T14:57:23+00:00

Must have a height between 5’6 and 5’8.

Must make at least 65k (good for my area).

Must be able to cook and clean.

Must have a gawk gawk level of 9000.

Must have a reasonable n count.

Must be agreeable.

Must be moderate - left leaning. No extreme lefties.

Must know what a 401k is.

Am I missing anything?

Must have a weight range between…. Just don’t be fat. I’ll cut them some slack here.

Edit: Oh and never had an abortion.

Key-Progress-8873 · 2021-09-06T17:55:24+00:00

Physically: Slim shape, long hair with a hairless body, pale/white complexion. Nothing else, I don't really have a type, I like the kind of body my girl has, as long as she has the above characteristics. Sorry, fat, lots of hair and darker skin are all dealbreakers for me.

Personality wise: I like sensitive women, with a calm, kind demeanor. Women who are smiling, act in an endearing manner and bring their warmth everywhere they go are women who will always stand out to me as relationship material. They are usually soft spoken, don't swear and have a positive outlook on life. Also a practical team player, that always has ideas about how to improve stuff, without being a complainer, but an encourager instead.

Also, should want marriage and children in the long term.

No, I don't care about her education or finances at all.

tl;dr Basically a feminine woman, who is interested in me being a masculine man and a father.

TheJim66 · 2021-09-06T14:38:20+00:00

Shes attractive enough

She's low n

She's nice

She is relatively sane for a woman.

MrShakedown1 · 2021-09-06T15:12:51+00:00

No drugs, alcohol issues, smoking habits or tattoos. At least for starters.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-09-06T16:25:42+00:00

Good communication skills
Empathic
High libido & enjoys sex
Doesn't have a temper
Intelligent
Has interesting views and are willing to challenge their own opinion
Not scared of debate or discussion on various topics like politics
Physically attractive to some degree (I'm not hugely picky on looks TBH)
Low maintenance
Not too skinny. Not super obese. Overweight is fine.
Likes doing things and isn't totally house bound.
Doesn't expect me to fulfil strict gender roles

I'll be honest, how they treat and talk to me is very high up. I'd rather date someone who was sweet, caring, invested in the relationship and mid level intelligence over someone smarter who picked at my flaws.

I ultimately want someone who I want to spend time with.

I got most of the shopping list.

techr0nin · 2021-09-06T16:29:52+00:00

Other than attraction, which is a given:

Mental and emotional stability.
Compatible values. Social, financial, political, intellectual, etc.
Femininity. Basically qualities that makes for a good mother such as empathy, gentleness, grace, etc.
Rationality. Decision making based on reason and logic.
Humor. We need to be on the same wave length.

Jonesw16 · 2021-09-06T14:47:32+00:00

Asian, not one of the party-girl types, not slutty, soft and feminine, pretty face, not a loudmouth, not masculine, little to no body count, good to get along with and mentally stable. These are all the ones I can come up with at the top of my head, there's probably more but I can't think of them at the moment. And all this seems way too much to ask for these days. I also honestly don't mind boob or arse size as long as they're not morbidly huge and un-natural.

I don't actually date but if I did, this is certainly what's in mind.

Edit: not slutty as well

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-09-06T15:38:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-06T15:18:59+00:00

Just to name off a few things:

Is attractive, and physical fitness is a priority
Sexually enthusiastic, skillfull and willing
Feminine and maternal
I don't care that she's a genius or a Rhodes Scholar or anything like that but got to be able to have a conversation about things and have some level of intellectual curiosity
not a feminist, I'd even say anti-feminist
trustworthy and reliable
good sense of humor
Pleasant to be around
Supportive and agreeable
has to be sane mentally, for a woman anyways ha
She has to have some kind of passion in life, like art or something
Has to at least be as good a cook as I am lol

I could probably fine-tune the list a little more but that'll work for me

SiriusB8 · 2021-09-06T15:45:58+00:00

Virgin or lown N, very agreeable/ obedient, feminine, nurturing, not wh1te.

DesperateTraffic3164 · 2021-09-06T16:57:55+00:00

All men have a 'attractiveness hurdle' that women need to jump over before they are eligible for a relationship. If you can't get over the hurdle, it doesn't matter how great you are in other areas. That hurdle is going to be higher or lower depending on how attractive the man is, both physically and as a potential partner.

So looks aside, I'll focus on the things I consider relationship material:

Takes an active interest in making my life better: To me, this is the most important quality of all. This person would be someone who is actively (not passively) looking for ways to help me both in life and business. This could be little things, like making me a microwave meal when I have back to back meetings and missed lunch, or owning our budgeting and making sure we both stay within some reasonable limit. I really, really value this quality.
Goal oriented and strategic: I like my relationships to have purpose beyond just two people living together as roommates. I want to have joint goals, and individual goals. I can help her towards hers, and she can help towards mine. I don't want to be with someone who lives exclusively for me.
Intelligent: Pretty obvious one here
Introspective: There are bound to be disagreements in relationships, but I've found that when I'm with very introspective people the number of arguments declines drastically. Each of us can individually reflect on what we did wrong and make changes to our behavior without needing a 'here's what you did hurt me' talk.
Good communicator: Pretty obvious, and required for some of the above. Most people really suck at explaining how they feel, or for some reason will expect men to understand their feelings by magic. It's childish. I'm only interested in someone that can verbalize why they think a certain way, why they want something, etc.
Direct: I am not a fan of indirect communicators. If you want something, ask for it explicitly.
Kind to everyone: This is something I've seen personally dating women in other cultures, but there can be a huge gap in the way someone might treat a rich person vs. a poor person, which I really dislike. Just being a generally kind person goes a long way.
Morally Principled & Self Respecting: Maybe a little obvious, but I want someone who believes in something and has a code for their lives which they abide by. I'm not a religious person, but I really enjoy dating religious people because they have some sense of morality and respect for themselves.
Self-starter: I do a lot of stuff, so when we make joint plans I don't want the solution to always be on me to come up with an answer for everything. I don't mind taking on the brunt of decision making if I have to, but just like in a group project things usually go better if more than one person is actively looking for solutions to problems.
Healthy: I'm a very healthy person and I want someone who is right there with me. Actively thinks about exercise, their diet, and carries themselves well in the world.

Luckily, I found that person already and soon as I did I put a ring on it.

cataza · 2021-09-06T17:53:58+00:00

When she tries to win my heart, otherwise all women are the same.

Physiologist21 · 2021-09-07T05:02:50+00:00

Loyalty

Chastity

Disciplined

Pleasant

Humble

Basically the opposite of everything your modern woman is lol.

Lateralanouncer · 2021-09-06T19:09:04+00:00

Feminine, not masculine.
Not a hoe. And hasn’t given her sexual best to casual men. No honey moons etc with casual fucks. I want to walk in public with her not knowing other men may have … I also want to be her biggest and best.
Not damaged goods. Damaged personally from previous men. Per Bonding alpha widow issues etc.
My biggest fan. Motivates me when on the grind. Not pulls me down. Not in competition with men. (Masculine)
Has pride in our house. Has basic house skills. Cooking cleaning etc.
Reasonably attractive. I put personally traits above attraction.
Listens. And knows when to be quiet. I don’t argue with her over BS and I expect the same.
Non victim mentality (non feminist). Has her own opinions.
High sex drive and finds me attractive. Likes to be taken whenever I want her.

Brought up in a 2 parent household. This one is important she at least need to know both men and woman’s roles.

Just an easy going ride or die type.

I had an interesting thought reading the comments. If you relate woman being the gatekeepers of sex to who and how many men they let fuck them. Vs men being the gatekeepers of commitment is her sexual past who and at what cost did she let men fuck her is she worthy of mens commitment.

hi_and_fuck_you · 2021-09-06T15:40:14+00:00

No elaborate sexual history

No kids

No money problems

Not fat

Not someone with a constant need for validation and attention

Not a feminist or activist

Doesn't listent to black music

adoctorswife · 2021-09-06T17:41:11+00:00

For a woman to be relationship material she needs to be a virgin/low body count/definitely no kids, cooks, cleans, takes care of man, submissive, healthy mentally and physically, and good social skills. I’m sure some men also want the woman to make money in addition to doing all the domestic chores but most men require women to do domestic tasks regardless of whether she works or not.

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throoowwitalllawaaay · 2021-09-06T17:06:18+00:00

Someone asked a similar question on this sub like ~2 weeks ago, so I'll just copy-paste my comment from that post :

In my opinion :

Empathy, kindness, diligence, patience, high self esteem, temperance, truthfulness, wittiness, modesty, generosity/magnanimity, gracefulness, well-mannered, just/rational/self-reflective (tries to overcome human cognitive biases in thinking) and slightly ambitious (not the too ambitious type that can't feel good about herself if she's not working on something constantly).

Lookswise, I don't really have a specific type, so couldn't care less. Just don't be fat I guess.

Low body cunt (left the typo since I've found it hilarious lol)

Reasoning... And also, I myself am striving to be everything on this list, and I have high standards for myself and women I date and I expect the same from her(high standards). If you are working on yourself and your career a lot, and if you have high standards, you won't be sleeping around a lot, therefore you'll have a low body count. Quality over quantity.

almosteasy1222 · 2021-09-06T18:30:24+00:00

The bare minimum for any type of relationship I want to have with a woman is I have to be sexually attracted to her, and she has to be sexually attracted to me.

At that point, I’ll analyze how closely she lines up with what I would like in a woman (depending on what I’m looking for.) If she has good character, has similar morals and values, has a good sense of ethics and a good head on her shoulders, knows herself well, is confident, and is charming, she checks most, if not all of the boxes I have for being interested in a committed, exclusive relationship with her.

If she misses one or two (or has other red flags) but we are still attracted to each other on a sexual/physical level, I generally won’t pursue her beyond initiating a friends-with-benefits or open-relationship type of arrangement. If she’s cool with that, game on! If not, it’s all good and I will let her be so she can find someone who is a better fit for her and I will move on to find a woman who more closely lines up with what I want.

michekapotszarini · 2021-09-06T18:56:29+00:00

Sex is natural and fun. I think we should all be having as much of it as we can.

Wetcat9 · 2021-09-06T19:29:43+00:00

Decent communication. No weird glaring or w/e

Notsonewguy7 · 2021-09-06T21:15:40+00:00

Looks are a given so the other more important stuff.

Coming from the right family (status, income, beliefs, etc)
Having a good personality
Sharing some sorta interest or philosophical core belief (religion, politics, art, music)
Willingness to compromise
Not being a slave that bows out to everything without a opinion or input.

M3taBuster · 2021-09-06T21:50:11+00:00

The only near universal traits I can think of are being physically attractive and sexually modest. The rest is going to vary widely by which man you ask.

In fact, different men are even going to have slightly different definitions of the two traits I listed. For instance, a woman with a big ass is going to be attractive to some men and unattractive to others, and some men require a virgin, while others just want her n-count below 20. But the common denominator is that you have to be what that specific man considers "attractive" and "modest" by his definition.

That means you're probably going to qualify for some men and not others. But if you're interested in maximizing the number of men who consider you "relationship material", then the best strategy is to remain a virgin and become as close to cookie-cutter conventionally attractive as possible.

Dustin_Bromain · 2021-09-06T21:53:31+00:00

The qualifications are literally on the fucking floor for women. Couldn’t be any lower.

Ability to self-reflect on her actions
Emotional control
Doesn’t only want some 6 foot plus gigachad

That’s it.

Mike08p · 2021-09-06T23:27:31+00:00

Not much. Attraction. Able to have a conversation without weirdness or being annoying. Things we share in common. Great sex.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-09-07T00:02:52+00:00

Besides step 1 which is be physically attractive....

dont be a hoe
have morals
be an adult (aka dont spend all your money on shoes and then live off scraps of food)
be willing to earn trust
understand you can act a certain way when single and not the same when in a relationship
dont be a feminist and spout about "wage gap"
know how to cook and do domestic stuff
good sense of humour
not be materialistic
be able to fit in my lifestyle
a sex drive that is at least near mine
not stuck up or to into herself
not a vegan

DjangoUBlackBastard · 2021-09-07T00:31:36+00:00

Gotta be black. I'm black, I will have black children, I want a wife that intimately understands the black experience in America and can raise my children in the case that I cannot be there.
Has to be attractive to me. 7 or up. Highly subjective but w/e. These are the baselines for even being vetted so these first two are sort of given things.
Has to have a good family or a history in therapy. I need to be able to look at other women in your family and see they are married and value relationships. If not I'd hope you have a history in therapy to learn these family values because most people don't magically learn them.
Have to be 100% honest and open with me. If I see any signs of you being secretive I'm moving on immediately.
Have to be peaceful. I've done it before for women and now that I'm older I'll never do this again but I'm not opening up my space to someone with the potential to ruin my mood. If my day is going well and you make it worse more than twice I'm checking out.
A lack of ego. Ego kills relationships more than anything else. Keep that ego outside of this relationship, but in the relationship you should 100% trust me.
Knows how to communicate. If you have an issue and can't verbalize it I move on. Everything that's an issue should be spoken up on immediately.
Competitive. My current GF was competitive as hell in showing me how she felt about me and doing things that other women flat out don't do. Earlier today I took a nap knowing my dad wanted to come over and grill, I woke up to find the kitchen, my bedroom, and the living room clean so that if my dad came over I wouldn't have to clean myself. And my GF still had a party of her own to go to, but she still made time for this. This isn't as important once in the relationship, but it's the only way you'll grab my attention enough to make me get serious.
Smarts. Not education. I've met educated idiots with no critical thinking skills. I need someone smart enough to learn things and correct me when I'm wrong. If I'm the pilot here my SO should be the copilot and in situations where I can't fly the plane I need someone smart enough to trust.
Tries sexually. I've been in plenty of relationships where sex comes and goes with how she's feeling at the time. I'm going to need effort from you sexually if you want to be with me because I'm monogamous but I'm not going to be miserable sexually.
Emotionally vulnerable and financially invested. I've found that when women don't trust you they don't allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable around you and when they don't like you they don't spend any money on you.
Not game goofy. You know why your male coworker is asking for your number and inviting you to a party this weekend. If you want to act as if he's not making a move at you that's cool, but I won't be involved. Male friends are ok, but they need to be actual friends (by that I mean treating you like one of their male friends).

BecretAlbatross · 2021-09-07T00:36:36+00:00

Attractive
Honest
Emotionally stable
Kind, positive vibes
Similar interests in at least a few spheres

Lots0souL · 2021-09-07T01:41:20+00:00

Must have a solid career
Must be intelligent
Must have natural chemistry
Must want to, and have the ability to have children
High sexual attraction

All other women go to the fun zone with no commitment offered or implied.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-09-07T02:38:39+00:00

She's intelligent, humble, well mannered, not confrontational, not inflated ego, not a slut.

IndependenceSoft3250 · 2021-09-07T03:02:28+00:00

Good chemistry

MGTOWManofMystery · 2021-09-07T03:05:32+00:00

How are you defining a "relationship?"

AggroWeasel · 2021-09-07T04:37:25+00:00

Good looking, kind/pleasant to be around. Vanishingly hard to find both.

Cool_Weather_7763 · 2021-09-07T05:40:17+00:00

Not like other girls. As in not entitled appreciate. Respects vulnerability. Holds nothing against you for honesty, is supportive. Provides enough attention to know you are loved. It’s not much for guys but so many have a hard time with that. Most importantly she accepts you for you. By that I mean you can be your completely honest self with her and she respects that because she likes the real you.

HumanSockPuppet · 2021-09-07T06:50:05+00:00

Read my Guide to Managing Bitches for a full breakdown of what makes a woman relationship-worthy.

Green_Hat_1940 · 2021-09-07T12:03:32+00:00

General decency

Isolation_Man · 2021-09-07T12:05:11+00:00

She has to exist.

I think that's all.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-09-08T19:28:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GunnzzNRoses · 2021-09-11T09:59:37+00:00

A great personality and sexual attraction. I have my type, that is witty, philosophical and smart.

Bandit174 · 2021-09-06T14:23:29+00:00

I don't see that men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Maybe for marriage but not relationships.

AvatarReiko · 2021-09-06T15:30:51+00:00

Asian

Attractive

Non combative, no nagging. Willing to follow my lead

Low body count

Funny

Feminine and not alpha

hardstruck · 2021-09-06T16:26:37+00:00

Answered a similar question in the general thread the other day and managed to anger the PPD kweens so I'll try my best to do it again.

No rap music. Absolutely no compromise on this one, rap music is the soundtrack to an alpha widow's lifestyle, huge red flag for me. A couple of songs here or there is okay, but if it's her main genre of music, she's got a taste for dick that's incompatible with who I am.

Clothes. No yoga pants or daisy dukes. As much as guys seem to like this stuff, I find it oddly masculine in a feminine way. Pants are pants, it's hard to spin it as feminine. A girl that's comfortable in skirts is a girl that's comfortable in her femininity in a way that appeals to me. I just find it sexy, I couldn't look at a woman who wears pants 365 days a year and not think about bending over and banging the girl next door in her cute summer dress.

No retards. Can't deal with a dumb woman, I just can't stand being around stupid people in general. It's fine if she's a little below average iq for casual sex but anything beyond that she needs a brain to stop me from having round the clock headaches.

Looks. You still need to be hot, I should look at you and want to fuck you from the moment I met you. Not looking to build sexual attraction via chemistry.

I don't really care about cooking tbh, I like making my own meals and controlling what I put into my body. Don't need a housewife but a woman who is at least willing to do these things and show that she cares and would do them for me goes a long way.

The rest of it is mostly going to be assortative characteristics, like job, income, height, personality, interests, etc. Overlapping character values helps to give us the illusion of love.

Also, no drug or alcohol issues. Long past those days, not looking for a girl in party mode. No tattoos either.

chilikettlechips · 2021-09-06T15:58:13+00:00

Attraction & good sex
Same goals in life

Harvest895 · 2021-09-06T16:42:47+00:00

Not crazy.
Good with kids/ mom material.
She’s very feminine/ always has hair and nails done.
She’s taking care of her issues. Dealing with her past trauma with a professional therapist.

BareFistEmpiricist · 2021-09-06T23:34:43+00:00

The absence of qualities that would destabilize a relationship, such as unfaithfulness, disloyalty, a bad temper, dishonesty, tempermentalness, impulsiveness, etc. If a woman is merely attractive but has some of the above qualities, she still may be useful for some satisfying sex, but probably not a good idea to promote her to girlfriend let alone wife.

Title	What makes a woman "relationship material"?
Author	questionasker012
Upvotes	44
Comments	417
Date	September 6, 2021 2:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pj0ao2/what_makes_a_woman_relationship_material/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-makes-a-woman-relationship-material.1067279 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067279