What makes “mommas boys” undesirable? As a father, how should I tell my son to not be a “mommas boy” without at the same time promoting “toxic masculinity”?

philomexa · 2021-01-05T17:20:50+00:00

Bruh relax he's 4, he's supposed to cling to his mother at this age. He'll naturally segregate from his mother as he ages and develops regular contact with his peers. The ingroup reverence of cool will stamp out any baby-ish/clingy behavior on his end.

When women complain about momma's boys they're talking about adult men engaged in emotional incest with their mothers. That's a whole bag of dysfunction generally mitigated by stable, emotionally healthy households.

simeneta · 2021-01-05T17:09:59+00:00

When women talking about momma's boys they mean ADULTS who are still dependent on their mom/parents. This can mean anything from your mom still makes your food and does your laundry to emotional dependence (i.e. they do whatever mommy tells them). These guys also expect their female SO to be a second mom which is disgusting to women. There's also an association between momma's boys and serial killers (see Bates Motel, Mindhunter, most popular depictions of psychos, etc)

There's nothing wrong with being a momma's boy when you're a kid. I'd even argue ALL children are momma's kids for the first several years of their lives. The important part is as your son does start getting older you give him an appropriate level of independence for his age. Momma's boys happen to sons whose moms refuse to let go of their control once they start growing up.

Zonkey_Zeedonk · 2021-01-05T18:21:09+00:00

What women mean by “mommas boy” isn’t that a guy loves his mom. It’s adorable when a guy loves his mom and is nice to her and likes hanging out with her. It also shows he like/is comfortable with women and that’s a positive in dating. “Mommas boy” is about not being able to separate from your parents when you’re supposed to be an adult, I’m sure guys wouldn’t want a “daddy’s girl” either (who still as an adult does everything her dad says, depends on her dad, and prioritizes her dad over her partner).

The idea of “mommas boys” and “daddy’s girls” being any better or worse than an adult of either gender continuing to have the same relationship with their parents as when they’re dependent children than if it’s the same sex parents (girls with moms and boys with dads) is just dumb social stigma (boys are expected to bond more with dads and girls with moms so it’s not looked at AS negatively).

If you raise your son to be an independent and self-reliant person in general and value his independence/self reliance as he grows up, he won’t become a mommas boy, even if he still likes his mom! You don’t have to specify it being about the mother-son relationship. Just don’t spoil him when he gets older and force him to act his age/do things for himself once he’s at the point he should be.

For right now, dude, he’s 4. Let him do pottery with mom, he was literally living in her uterus 4 years ago of course they’re close, that’s cute.

goatismycopilot · 2021-01-05T21:49:39+00:00

The main takeaway from this post is that the OP is unable to distinguish the difference between the range of normal behavior in a four year old and what might be problematic behavior in an adult. A big chunk of men in PPD are people who do not know how to people because they get fixated on theoretical concepts to preserve something to fixate on rather than enjoy being in the moment with their kid.

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-01-05T17:33:41+00:00

So there's something conspicuously missing from your post...

Do you spend one-on-one time with your son? Do you play with him? Take him to the park just the two of you? Watch movies with him? Read to him? He's probably a little young for fishing or helping out with projects and stuff like that, but when he's old enough, do you plan on doing those things with him? You mention that he's always spending time with his mom and "others," but what about you?

At 4 it's normal for a child, especially an only child, to spend a lot of time with their parents, and if mom is the primary caretaker then naturally he'll spend a lot of time with mom. That doesn't necessarily mean he'll be a "mama's boy" when he's older. But it is important for a boy to have male relationships, and if you're not fostering that with him yet, you should start. He also needs other kids to hang out with. Get him into T-ball or something.

Also, a boy having a good relationship with his mom doesn't necessarily make him a mama's boy. My husband was very close with his mother; they talked a lot, spent a lot of time together, she was his main confidante and his go-to person for advice or venting. But she didn't try to control him or tell him what to do, she wasn't jealous or critical of girls he dated, and he didn't live and die by her approval. The latter is what girls mean by "mama's boy." It's not just a guy who likes spending time with his mom, it's a guy who doesn't have appropriate boundaries with his mom.

Either way, I think 4 is too young to make that determination. I'd start to worry if he's reaching upper elementary age (9-10 or so) and still clinging to mother's skirt strings and constantly seeking her approval. But what you've described just sounds like a normal 4-year-old.

NarniaFox · 2021-01-05T17:14:43+00:00

Dude, they were talking about ADULTS. It's totally okay for boys to be affectionate, you shouldn't do anything about it.

The whole concept of mommy boys is mostly about infantile men who can't make their own decisions without their mom's, when these men are adults. If you wife isn't over controlling person who bosses everyone around, you shouldn't worry about it at all.

Sage_Planter · 2021-01-05T18:51:28+00:00

Watch the trailer for the TLC show "I Love a Mama's Boy." Watch a few of the free videos that show the unhealthy dynamic between these men and their mothers. In this video, this thirty year old man can't tell his mom he's moving out with his girlfriend, and his mom is appalled that he'd even consider leaving her.

This is what women find horrendously unattractive. These are grown men who are codependent with their moms and unable to have healthily adult relationships because of it. The sons are incapable of establishing much-needed, normal boundaries, and the mothers act like it's perfectly acceptable to be "the most important woman in his life forever and ever and always."

thelajestic · 2021-01-05T17:40:06+00:00

He's 4. When he goes to school he'll likely start to be less of a momma's boy as he starts to socialise with kids his age.

"Momma's boys" are so called because they have no sense of responsibility, they expect their mum (and then their gf) to clean up after them and they expect parents to bail them out of financial issues.

He's at the age now where he should start getting taught some responsibility - starting with little "chores" that are age appropriate, and gradually building them up. Other things as well like managing money - when I was a kid I got pocket money in return for set chores. I could do "overtime" ie extra chores for additional money and every year had a review to discuss a pay increase 😅 it really helped me be responsible with money and I've never gone to my parents for a cash bailout. Just basically teaching responsibility, financial management and how to do chores and clean house. You and your wife need to do your part as well in role modelling healthy behaviours - both taking your share of household management etc

vial_of_music · 2021-01-05T17:47:10+00:00

it just means don’t raise your son to be an adult man who has never cooked or cleaned for himself, who will get a girlfriend which will leave because she’s realizing she’s becoming his mom by constantly doing all his cooking and cleaning. also as an adult man it’s really gross if you just do/say whatever your mom tells you to, and listening to her whether she’s right or wrong, just because she’s your mom. no one wants that. regardless of gender. if you’re child is still really young, i honestly recommend looking into Montessori ways of raising him. he will more than likely be extremely independents as an adult. you can easily implement these teachings into his like right now!

2021-01-05T20:39:04+00:00

WTF... your son is 4. The undesirable nature of a "momma's boy" alludes to a grown ass man relying on his mother like a baby boy.

Do you see the very obvious difference in that versus your question?

catfishmasc · 2021-01-05T22:56:31+00:00

I'm getting something much deeper from your post and some of your replies.

If you and your wife have a great relationship together and with him individually I think he will be fine.

It is actually the mother that create momma's boys.

It's mothers who cling to their children and mothers who still want to feel useful that they do not let their son grow up and continue to baby him so he becomes dependant on her.

If you find a mommas boy, you'll find a crazy, obsessed mother who is judgemental as fuck and thinks no is good enough for her son.

When you replied that your wife just sits there and watches while it's your alone time; that is a problem. If she is that clingy and want to be by his side 24/7 it's odd to me.

In future, you may have a battle with your wife when your son starts to assert independence or discipline comes into play. Make sure she does not become his saviour and make sure you maintain your masculinity and not let call all the shots to protect your son's feeling.

To prevent your son from being a mommas boy, the mother needs to understand healthy boundaries and the aspect of letting go. Not so much you telling him not to be around his mom. Then I guarantee that will backfire on you from your wife.

KapteeniJ · 2021-01-05T20:08:40+00:00

News alert, people are supposed to grow between 4 years old and the age when they start dating/their sex life. If they don't, it's all kinds terrible that's going on in there.

I was gonna come in with an essay about how mommas boy as a stereotype indicates various severe problems with ones mental development, but when you start off with comparing adults and 4 year olds when it comes to dating.. yeah, it seems kinda pointless now.

sublimemongrel · 2021-01-05T22:33:21+00:00

He’s too young, his behavior now isn’t gonna be the same as he gets older, makes friends, is less reliant on his parents etc. I have an 18 month old boy who is extremely clingy to me, his mother. It’s completely normal in toddlers/young kids and it’s nothing you should be worried about. Women saying it’s an undesirable trait in men are talking about men, not young children

Slyfer_Seven · 2021-01-05T17:08:01+00:00

First off... He's 4... Chill

Second, you show him that a man places his wife above his parents end of story. Do this, by practicing that in your own marriage and maybe explaining it when he's like 15

Third, you keep your wife in check so that she knows her place with regards to any relationship your son is in with a woman

Done

grigor47 · 2021-01-05T19:54:13+00:00

Why don't you just start doing stuff with your son? It seems to me that you are projecting onto your son your own insecurities about dating and being perceived masculine. I call my mom twice a week and have a tight connection, it's the right thing to do. Just be a positive male role model and don't spoil him because that's where 'mammas boy' traits come from, being spoiled!

SherbertBacon · 2021-01-05T20:15:30+00:00

A "momma's boy" is a grown man who simps for his mother. Simple as that. She takes his #1 priority and occupies his mind and priorities above all else, including his partner, friends, work priorities, etc.

A four-year-old cannot possibly be a momma's boy because he's not a grown man. To avoid him one day becoming a momma's boy, encourage his independence as he gets older, instill in him the virtue/idea that his own family one day will come first, and make sure he knows he isn't responsible for his mother's happiness.

GridReXX · 2021-01-05T22:46:27+00:00

Women don’t like “mama’s boys” who fall to the whim of controlling mothers who also do everything for him.

All it does is teach the son that his mom has final say on everything in his adult life, while also expecting his gf/wife to do literally everything for him because “his mom does.” These are the men who are 25 and don’t know how to do laundry because their mom still does it.

That’s gross and incompetent.

Every woman loves a son who has a healthy and loving relationship with his parents.

Iluvalmonds83 · 2021-01-06T03:26:44+00:00

There is a difference between momma’s boy and a man who is close to his mother. Momma’s boys are created when the mother becomes emotionally “incestuous” and creates an unhealthy codependency with her son. I suspect you see this happen more often in single mother situations, where the son is often guilted into believing that he MUST become the “man of the house” and surrogate spouse(in terms of emotional and physical support, NOT the sexual aspect ) or else he fails at being a good son for not taking care of his struggling mom. The son fails to enforce any healthy boundaries between himself and family, doesn’t become an individual with agency over his life, and is often is stunted in a lot of ways because the mother never taught him or promoted independence.

For mothers who do have a spouse/father figure in the house, it can be brought on by her unhealthy need to infantilize/control her adult children because they don’t want the relationship dynamic to change once the child reaches adulthood. They also feel threatened by the son replacing her title as the most important woman in his life when he seeks a romantic partner.

In essence, So long as the mom is not bat shit crazy with codependency issues, your son should be fine and grow up well adjusted.

Fleischpeitsch · 2021-01-06T12:18:39+00:00

Instead of relying on harmful gender norms you can use constructive criticism.

Toxic masculinity: stop being such a faggot, don't be a pussy, man up, you aren't a real man if you need help, you aren't a real man if you like dancing, real men eat meat and vegetables are for women, etc

Toxic masculinity just causes them to feel bad about themselves and makes them overcompensate with hypermasculinity, homophobia, machismo, stoicism and aggressivity.

Constructive advice: teach him how to cook and clean, teach him to take care of himself, encourage him to play sports, encourage him to be proud and confident, etc

You can guide him to become an independent person that doesn't need a momma to take care of him without relying on toxic gender norms.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2021-01-05T18:20:26+00:00

Learning the balance between care and negotiation with reality is fatherhood. Learning the child will always prefer the imaginary land of play is fatherhood.

2021-01-05T18:39:58+00:00

Have a strong, salubrious, affectionate attachment with your young child (it's imperative for future mental health).

But also nurture independence at appropriate stages in life.

Ideally they need lots of positivity and affection, but should be able to fullfil certain tasks them selves and not treat parents like servants.

LittyKitsune · 2021-01-05T18:51:29+00:00

1- Entirely speaking from experience, but imo "mommy's boy" complaints often stem from a particularly bad experience with a previous SO's mother. If a disagreement comes up he makes excuses and sides with her no matter what, that sort of thing. Not just being close in general, but close in an enabling way. My brother and I were both close with our mom in the way you're describing your son. We can also acknowledge when she's just completely in the wrong in any given situation. In this way your sons will look to you in the same way we looked to our dad. Does your wife practice toxic behaviors, do you enable it, will you make them say sorry to her even if they're not wrong just to have peace?

2- Middle school is kinda the phase where almost everybody, no matter how close they were with their parents previously, begins to hate them. You might just wanna let her enjoy these days without focusing too much on his dating years, which are pretty far off. Still keep number one in mind tho.

3- I may have missed it in the OP but are you thinking about getting your sons involved in sports? At my elementary school the kids who played sports seemed to be the most in tune with social norms for the age group at any given time. No matter what went on at home honestly. For the ones who just really aren't sports-oriented Scouts can still be a good option, but I don't remember what age the boys start. I think I started with the girls in kindergarten.

nokidneys · 2021-01-05T19:10:13+00:00

as everyone else has said, he is 4, you should not be concerned about his desirability to partners at this age. he is literally dependent on his parents, if you’re trying to say he has attachment issues then that is an entirely separate issue. mommas boys are the type that are grown men that are attached to their mom and will compare their partners to their mom and think no one can live up to her. it’s also how a mommas boy would never defend his partner over his mother and let her control his relationships or aspects of his life. your son is fine to love his mother, when he’s at the age to need independence you can cross that bridge when you get there.

meltedjuice · 2021-01-05T22:45:15+00:00

Bonding at that age sets a child up for healthy relating later. It becomes a problem as they grow up if there are no boundaries or independence instilled.

LaPrimaVera · 2021-01-05T23:19:00+00:00

Your son is 4, he isn't a "mummy's boy" he's 4. Don't punnish your son for having an attachment to his mother.

As your son grows up he should take on more and more independence, starting out with being able to play with his peers without needing to check mum is still there, going to kindy and school without feeling abandoned, wanting to spend more time with his friends etc.

The problem with children arises when this independence doesn't happen, mostly this is because parents (mostly mothers) don't let it happen or discouraged it. Having a 4 year old who needs to know mum is close by is normal, having a 20 something year old who needs to check in with mum consistently and spends more time with mum than his peers is a problem.

jdobrila · 2021-01-06T05:33:44+00:00

As a father, how should I tell my son to not be a “mommas boy” without at the same time promoting “toxic masculinity”?

By realizing that there is no such thing as toxic masculinity. There's only masculinity.

jackandjill22 · 2021-01-06T18:23:48+00:00

You can promote either without becoming the other, here's what they don't tell you 21st ct Dad:

It's self-contradictory & there aren't any rules on this yet. They're just making this stuff up as we go along.

ThrowawayCOVID999 · 2021-01-10T02:03:29+00:00

Toxic masculinity lefty crap, no such thing. Do you want your kid to grow up into one of those losers? Didn’t think so.

Particleofsun · 2021-01-05T17:15:25+00:00

what makes mommas boys undesirable

The women don't want competition for maximal exploitation latitude lmfao

2021-01-05T19:47:49+00:00

He’s still a baby. Although he should start sleeping in his own bed soon.

If your wife continues to treat your son like she does now, even as he starts going to school, even as it becomes developmentally inappropriate... that’s where he’ll develop into the type of momma’s boy that makes vaginas shrivel into a singularity. So keep an eye out for that. He should be sleeping alone, showering alone, learning to do small chores for himself, etc in the next couple years. He should be making his own snacks and at least helping with his own laundry, dishes, sweeping, etc by 8-10.

If your wife continues to baby him and doesn’t make him grow up into a normal teenager and then adult man then yes. He may end up being the dreaded momma’s boy.

Matt_Door · 2021-01-05T20:51:41+00:00

I have a ten year old son, and he was like this. You’re fine. I’d worry less about that and just make sure you’re being a normal involved dad, model the right behaviour.

Cynical side of me says the women who say, “she’s not your bang mommy!” may just be looking for a daddy? Like if they have to parent you, who “parents” them (who’s the big tall confident guy to make them feel small and protected and feminine and is their rock of stability)

AnarchoNAP · 2021-01-05T21:44:45+00:00

Mamas boys are undesirable because they don’t act appropriately for their age. They consult their mom instead of their spouse, often un/under employed, tell their mom your business, and shirk responsibility. This is unacceptable in adult men.

You have a toddler. He seems to be acting appropriately for his age. If he’s still acting like this at 15 come back and talk.

Don’t worry about if feminists think you’re instilling “toxic masculinity.” You should instill masculinity in your son.

Key-Artist-9384 · 2021-01-06T08:43:23+00:00

There is no such thing as toxic masculinity, stop brainwashing boys into hating themselves.

Hoopy223 · 2021-01-05T17:48:19+00:00

Seriously??? I would’ve just turned off the radio. Why listen to a bunch of spoiled cunts ragging on Men?

stats135 · 2021-01-05T18:43:42+00:00

I haven't heard the term used in a while, it reminds me of those 90's PSA on doing drugs. The ones where the school's cool kids walk by to offer some meth and when you the viewer declines they'll mock you for being a momma's boy for listening to your mom on not doing drugs.

Women (and sometimes men) just use it as an insult for when men don't do what they want them to do. Most of our views are influenced by our parents and upbringing. What your kid thinks of as right and wrong will more likely than not match what your wife taught him. When a woman comes around and doesn't agree with your boy, she's gonna call him a momma's boy and tell him to think for himself, with the implication that his though process (something his mother would have taught/influenced him on) is incorrect.

Of course they could actually be right to doubt the though process he learned from his mother. After all, modern Western society does not produce that many women fit to be a mother or wife. So the biggest question here is how highly you view your wife. If you have a good wife that always has your child's best interest in mind, then there really is nothing wrong for him to learn from her and listening to her advice. If not then you as the father need to step up and raise him properly.

jax006 · 2021-01-05T17:15:32+00:00

There is a reason that many behaviors labeled as "toxic masculinity" keep persisting in society; they are generally beneficial to men on the individual level, not only with women but often in careers and other social endeavors.

Men who are successful pass these behaviors on to their sons, who go on to slay when they grow up and be successful themselves, rinse and repeat.

I don't think fathers should worry about promoting "toxic masculinity" they should worry about raising boys who will be emotionally soft and thus lonely and at the worst extreme, end up killing themselves.

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Mosaed21 · 2021-01-05T18:38:41+00:00

Just spend more time alone with him as he gets older, talk to him about life and things so that he will emulate the way you behave in some way. Teach him discipline and responsibilty as he gets older and build his confidence.

LooseIndication · 2021-01-05T23:27:45+00:00

"Toxic masculinity" is hate speech. It does not exists.

The concept was created by a person without any degree in psychology or psychiatry, and was politically forced into the psychological association manual without any scientific evidence, and without any professional support.

It was created out of nothing. It's purely political, propagandistic, and comes from the extreme left. It is part of the hate speech of gender ideology, cancel culture, and critical race theory.

Completely ignore everything about "toxic masculinity"

Here is a prestigious psychiatrist, explaining the scam:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGIYiYhHjzQ

prompargencis · 2021-01-06T02:51:38+00:00

Honestly as a woman, I love when I see that a man respects and is kind to his mother. A good relationship with his mother shows he has respect for women. That's just my preference, and of course there can be such a thing as it being a little too much. The top comment pretty much covers everything else.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-01-06T05:21:48+00:00

Literally wait 8 years then ask the question if it's a problem still

Convenient_Beaver · 2021-01-06T05:41:35+00:00

Ah. Women aren't attracted to men who aren't financially and emotionally stable and independent... That makes sense.

However, I don't understand the word "disgusting". I mean, how many young women are financially and emotionally stable and independent of all men... Let's be honest here... They aren't in attracted to men who show weakness or feminine traits, yet if a man calls a woman who shows strength or masculine traits (bossy, assertive, ambitious) disgusting that's sexist...

Omg, she just walked into her bosses office and asked for a raise, disgusting! Oh my God, she needs emotional time with her boyfriend, disgusting! Oh my God, she loves her family, disgusting!

2021-01-06T06:03:18+00:00

Is this satire?

richlad · 2021-01-06T06:24:49+00:00

Simple!

A real Chad and womaniser is one who tries to cuck his and his friend's dad and tries to fuck their wife and mom.

Some guys automatically became this, while other can never see all the women same and hence can't work to statisfy them.

I doubt you can turn one into another.

2021-01-06T14:51:13+00:00

Toxic masculinity is the inability to determine which values supersede others because of focusing on society's version of masculinity rather than the problem itself. Real men solve problems, not adhere to stereotypes. You should wait until his teens or even college age to teach him this. When values contradict one another, one must choose what is more important.

Emberily123 · 2021-01-06T20:24:07+00:00

I like mommas boys, I like boys who aren’t constantly closed off or have a wall up. But that’s just me

heiti9 · 2021-01-06T22:43:39+00:00

If he's a mommas boy at 15, then do something.

SlowWing · 2021-01-08T13:16:43+00:00

Why is he sleeping in your bed? You say he can't be 1 hour away from his mom, doesn't he go to school?

Thats not good mate...

lionhart280 · 2021-01-10T11:46:56+00:00

Theres a huge difference between "can't do anything without moms approval" mommas boy, which was caused by the mother being a helicopter parent in the early teens typically, vs "takes his mom out for dinner on mothers day and calls her to check in and see if she's doing okay once a month"

The first is an instant turn off in dating, as it indicates mom runs the show, he will always put mom first, and he is probably spineless and doesn't have an independent bone in his body.

The second makes most women swoon, because they see that and predict it means he will also care about them, take them out to dinner, take care of them, and be kind and thoughtful.

If you want to avoid the first, ensure he gets healthy amounts of formative time on his own in the early teens. Let him make mistakes, let him solve problems on his own.

If you want to get the second, its easy. Do those things to your wife in front of him. A man who grows up with a dad who treats his wife with respect and care, will grow up to do the same.

Note: everything above also applies to girls, fathers, etc etc.

GreatDayBG · 2021-01-10T17:03:19+00:00

He is four. Chill

ariesv123 · 2021-01-20T09:21:58+00:00

There’s a BIG DIFFERENCE between a mommas boy and someone who simply has a good relationship with their mom

Prestigious-Belt-383 · 2021-01-23T22:40:46+00:00

Dude, your kid is four years old, he will eventually grow out of his Oedipus complex and will start becoming friends with other people. If your done turns 8 years old and is still really clingy to his mom then try to get him to socialize with his peers more.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-01-05T19:44:34+00:00

First off, there is no such thing as toxic masculinity. There is "masculinity" and there is "bad behaviour that some males partake in". Attributing antisocial behaviour to masculinity is just anti-male smoke and mirrors by man-hating feminists. Women (and society in general) has a very nasty having of wanting to pin the bad behaviour of the top sexually successful men with the "low men". Society loathes the low men, and would love to conveniently blame them for everything. They applaud the top men for being confident, no matter how indifferent or even abusive they become. And they scorn the low men no matter how much they try to succeed, and play by society's laughable rules and expectations. Society is retarded like that.

But I digress.

A mamma's boy is disgusting because he has a relationship with his mother and goes to her for support and "coddling". This is not a man, but a rather weepy boy. A real man leaves the comfort, support and warmth of his mommy and goes out into the cold hard world to make something of himself and tries to get warmth and comfort by EARNING it and become WORTHY of it as deemed so by women or society in general. Of course, most men just get eaten alive by society or women (or both) in the process.

But again, I digress.

The reason why a mamma's boy is so hated is because any man who doesn't optimise himself for use by others in society is hated, because society (as a whole) is a large parasite that feeds on some it's own young, those young being men.

I'm doing something different. I am raising boys into men who have my full permission to tell society to go pound sand and pursue things and careers and hobbies in life that give them pleasure. To never focus for one second on what women want, or need, or what makes them happy. Ironically, their indifference to young women their age seems to pique the young women's interests... Go figure.

When my boys shrug off female attention and go "meh" and go off and do their own thing, I get this small warm sensation in the middle of my iced-cold chest. No inc3ls in this house.

There may not be hope for me, but there is hope for them.

Teflon08191 · 2021-01-05T21:14:06+00:00

Teach him not to take seriously anything anybody who uses the phrase "toxic masculinity" ever says about anything and he'll be off to a great start.

The rest I couldn't say.

mannyso · 2021-01-05T17:55:18+00:00

The whole momma’s boy characteristic has actually worked in my favor directly twice. With one of the girls, she told me very early on how my relationship with my mom made me more attractive to her. This was after her observations of my interactions.

I’ve seen this occur with other guys as well. If a women had a bad experience with a mommas boy, she’ll likely consider that a red flag in the future. That doesn’t mean at one point she didn’t find that behavior attractive.

Particleofsun · 2021-01-05T19:27:01+00:00

[deleted]

Think-Tooth421 · 2021-01-05T19:50:02+00:00

Just to add a different perspective to the other comments, it's not enough to just prevent him from becoming a momma's boy.

Growing up I didn't have a respectable father and he was always absent. This made me very feminine and it's still true to some extent. I rarely even talk to my mom but I never developed masculine hobbies or personality until very late, all due to never having a proper father figure. My mom also raised me like a woman. Don't get me wrong, I never felt like I was a woman, but I still feel feminine in my somewhat athletic body. Naturally women don't find me intreresting, go figure.

amwfhunter · 2021-01-06T05:41:33+00:00

First: Toxic masculinity is a bs concept. Total libtard rhetoric narrative to feminize or weaken the natural behavior of men.

Second: it is not wrong to love your own mother. I think as your son grows older you should each him the value of being strong and independent but never forget his family. Hell he is only 4 years old....wtf?

Third: I think a lot of this ridicule for mommas boy is that such men aren't independent to make their own decisions. Women don't want a man whom they have to mother and baby. Not to mention they don't want their man to have to ask mommy for approval for everything. It is kinda sad. Replace kinda with very. A man should be strong enough and confident enough to make his own decisions for himself and even lead the female in the relationship. Most females like to be led despite what they tell u. The ones who oppose probably have had very bad experiences with men in the past and are compensating. Or on the very rare instance she is a very natural leader but very few people in general, men or women are natural leaders.

Conversely I think there may be another more insidious agenda that women don't want to compete against another woman (i.e. the guys mom) for the man's love. It is about control. Probably some degree of both. More former than latter.

Title	What makes “mommas boys” undesirable? As a father, how should I tell my son to not be a “mommas boy” without at the same time promoting “toxic masculinity”?
Author	Particleofsun
Upvotes	44
Comments	136
Date	January 5, 2021 5:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kr2gv7/what_makes_mommas_boys_undesirable_as_a_father/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-makes-mommas-boys-undesirable-as-a-father-how.735430 https://theredarchive.com/post/735430