What part of the dating discussion has this subreddit helped in changing your mind?

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-02-21T17:31:42+00:00

If you make a good, solid, irrefutable point the other person will call you names and make extremely negative assumptions about your personal life rather than simply saying "you know what? I didn't consider that.".

Tiny-Pigeonss · 2022-02-21T18:25:02+00:00

That people take things like "be yourself" or "it's about personality" very, very literally.

rolurk · 2022-02-21T18:28:17+00:00

That a lot of people believe in the just world fallacy.

I was looking at the halftime ceremony of the all-star game last night where they were celebrating the 75 greatest players in NBA history. Five of the players on that list were guys I grew up watching never won an NBA title.

Karl Malone, John Stockton, Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, Dominique Wilkins. They all put in the work, the effort but they never won a title. I see dating a lot like that. Someone can put in the work on themselves but not get picked.

Before anyone accuses me of being a black piller, I say that people should improve themselves FOR THEMSELVES. Don't do it for some obscure hope of companionship or getting laid, don't do it for some external validation, do it because it improves your life, it makes you feel better about yourself.

If someone appreciates and admires you for it, that is fine. If not then that is fine as well.

Bubbly_Taro · 2022-02-21T16:51:25+00:00

People have no idea what they want.

CatoftheBanals · 2022-02-21T20:26:22+00:00

Well, as a crone I learned some things about online dating and the availability of sex for women. I do think that the prevalence of women racking up sex partners into the triple digits is still greatly overstated, however.

I also learned many guys will have sex with women they don't find all that attractive...or attractive at all.

goatismycopilot · 2022-02-21T19:25:22+00:00

I did not learn anything specific have had some assumptions confirmed.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-02-21T22:54:42+00:00

I don't think much changed my mind, however I my eyes have been opened / been shocked by the sheer number of men who are legitimate incels. Also some stats on the things that average men do has been a bit mind-blowing. I don't think I'm fully blue-pilled, because a lot of it isn't real life, the same way I don't think TRP is the answer. I have been shocked at the attitudes/statistics that a lot of men have.

dysonRing · 2022-02-21T16:50:08+00:00

That women are just as looks shallow as men, but their tastes vary into two camps, the ones that use standard things to impress their friends, the ones that had feelings for a specific face so now it is her type.

At least facial wise men are pretty much lockstep on what they consider attractive.

tiposk · 2022-02-21T17:43:09+00:00

I confirmed that to a sizeable number of people, commitment and sex are just a trophy they get from the opposite gender at the gender's expense. This trophy also comes at a cost to themselves because the basis of commitment and sex being trophies is certain toxic tendencies which people blame on nature.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-02-21T19:48:56+00:00

This subreddit has taught me that success in dating is due to a myriad of reasons including confidence, fitness, genetics, extraversion, generally low neuroticism and culture.

It's taught me how fucking ruthless the extremists on both sides can be and to look out for the crazy women (since I'm a heterosexual.. if I were homosexual it'd be the opposite)

It's also changed my opinion on some unsuccessful people (both genders, but men are the more vocal about it) to pity rather than disgust as i realize most of the vitriol is due to insecurity rather than actual evil

sarkington · 2022-02-21T17:18:31+00:00

How does one grow up thinking that you have to do nothing at all to gain access to another person’s body? Even hot chicks know that they have to be….hot

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-02-21T17:24:10+00:00

I don't know if I've learned anything. Studying dating is a squishy science. It's like trying to clutch jello. There are trends aplenty but plenty of real life exceptions. I've tended to accept the things that reinforce what my experience is and that I already believe.

I think it made me, as an average at best guy, lose my last shred of hope for online dating. Which is probably fine.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-02-21T18:16:09+00:00

I was in the Discord for about 10 minutes, and the people seem normal with some odd quirks but unnecessarily hostile on the subreddits imo.

hairy_bamboo · 2022-02-21T19:45:59+00:00

That if there's ever a way to cut out desire for women, I'll be taking it. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

throwaway316stunner · 2022-02-22T00:58:48+00:00

That someone such as myself will never have a chance.

JB8511R · 2022-02-21T18:03:21+00:00

This sub taught me to embrace narcissistic traits to be more successful in relationships, because they will actually work. The only problem is not having it feel like an act because it is an act

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-21T17:02:05+00:00

I had a MUCH higher opinion of men before coming across this sub (and the manosphere in general).

SlyderKmK · 2022-02-21T16:56:58+00:00

I dont get why dating is so difficult? Don't take any of it too seriously. Attraction is not a choice...so as soon as people understand this, then rejection will be easier. If you're attracted to someone...then cool, but don't get all offended if they are not attracted to you.

How is it that people can't just walk up to the opposite sex, and have a normal conversation with them? In reality, it's just two people talking. If you talk with a stranger everyday, it all just becomes easier. While in line at the grocery store...just say something nice to someone...maybe make their day?

That's what I do, and it just becomes easier to talk to someone I'm crushing on....

CFinCanada · 2022-02-21T17:01:38+00:00

I wouldn't say it changed my mind, but it illuminated certain things to me about myself that I maybe quietly kept in the back of my hindbrain, never really acknowledging fully.

It was this place that made me realize that I am a female supremacist and have always quietly believed that women are morally superior.

I mean, I think I always quietly felt that way, but being around a bunch of misogynists and guys who just want to pump and dump women gave me license to fully own those feelings and not be ashamed of them.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-02-21T17:39:20+00:00

This subreddit has done nothing to change my mind about anything in regards to dating, but it has really shown me that women don’t “ like “ men the way men “ like “ women as a collective.

Even being an attractive man, I’m realizing I’m only liked for something in particular, not just just being.

Men will get excited if they have a mixed group of men and women for the night, or if women compliment them, or they go to an even and there’s women there. But women could care less unless I as an individual have something, even if it’s as surface level as looks.

Vtridolla · 2022-02-21T16:54:20+00:00

I didn’t think men were that bad, then I found out what incels/RP was. Boy some of us are weird.

Additionalparties · 2022-02-21T17:11:21+00:00

Women are even more baldly hypocritical in pursuing their self interest but attacking men who do so than society has enabled.

It has become an assumption like air.

Forsaken_Elk_4609 · 2022-02-21T18:15:38+00:00

I thought trp was about 50% true. Then after reading this sub I believe it is 90% true

Thank you all, I'm immensely grateful

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-02-21T18:49:52+00:00

I had a lot more sympathy for male issues before his sub to be honest.

ruboyuri · 2022-02-21T19:13:28+00:00

This subreddit, among others, has made me realize how many people refuse to process and analyze the information that their sensory organs receive, usually willfully

Boompa22 · 2022-02-21T17:01:17+00:00

People would rather just make excuses and cherry pick studies as to why they have no luck in dating than actually going out there and bettering themselves.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-02-21T18:44:19+00:00

What has this subreddit taught you?

That normie girls are worse than I thought. I'm never exposing my man to that.

JacobMugatu666 · 2022-02-21T21:30:02+00:00

It has been a long time since I've had trouble with the opposite sex and sometimes it is hard to have the patience and compassion to deal with guys who are having trouble. So that sub has helped me remember that things weren't always easy for me either and I do try to be more compassionate. However, I am still extremely frustrated with guys who cry for help but obviously have no interest in helping themselves whatsoever. They just do it for attention and pity party. If they were really looking for answers to their woman troubles, they would at least seriously consider some of the advice I have given them. It should make a difference that women often vouch for my advice just to make sure I'm not talking out of my ass but even with that my efforts seem futile.

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NotTheBestMoment · 2022-02-21T17:20:56+00:00

Men and women are generally not the same, and don’t want to be treated the same. There will never be an agreement on how much is nature v how much is nurture, and much like privileged people everywhere, no one likes to admit when they have it better than another group because “it’s not a competition”. No one said it was, it’s called a comparison, and if you don’t want to have it, don’t respond.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-02-21T19:44:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

NefariousnessStreet9 · 2022-02-21T23:34:51+00:00

Nothing, really. Just makes me even happier with my husband

No_Regular1586 · 2022-02-23T03:20:59+00:00

I'm still blackpilled but I learned that bitterness doesn't get you anywhere. I kind of knew that all along and I've been mostly socially stagnant since highschool but I'm realizing that it really doesn't feel good to be mean to people because you're hurt. You did it to "win" but at the end of it all you're still missing something deep inside. No amount of ranting and raving about how I hate women will fix that hole. What's the point of it? Be mean to hot bitchy girls? And then what? They won't remember it in 10 minutes after they get their next validation hit. It's just a waste of energy.

masochisticanalwhore · 2022-02-23T05:25:43+00:00

Lol, nothing so far

Business-Serve4098 · 2022-02-24T05:55:33+00:00

That redpillers aren't wrong. People are just not listening. Ironically, a lot of the women here have unknowingly confirmed and validated the views of the redpill community.

Narrow_Bridge5804 · 2022-02-21T18:29:44+00:00

I'm going to repost my mega chat comment as it encapsulates what I feel

Men have it hard, but it isn't "easy" for women either

I think men, whilst understandably frustrated by dating, don't seem to see anything about the female experience as anything but an advantage.

But take a moment (as we should all do) to try and comprehend the OTHER side.

As a woman do you know how frustrating it is that....

Almost NOBODY in day to day life or online provokes any feeling of attraction? It's just an endless slog of swiping through people we don't want. Now imagine, men, if you went onto tinder and literally almost none of the girls seemed appealing....

Constant unwelcome advances, both online and in public. YES you can block people on socials and you have more control over who you speak to on swipe apps....but getting unsolicited pictures or messages from dozens of guys a week is claustrophobic and sometimes scary, especially when a rejection or ignoring somebody is met with frustration on their end, or awkwardness with somebody you know. And in real life, being on edge about being in a coffee shop or enjoying time with friends at a bar, because a random man may try and strike up a conversation that is obviously intended to at some point lead to sex....

Being objectified and scrutinized physically, and not taken seriously mentally or emotionally.

Finding it very hard to get anything but bad treatment out of the very few men you felt something for....being used for sex and led along for weeks or months, thinking you had a connection whilst that person was sleeping with other women all along.

I understand the hardships of male dating, but the female side isn't so good either.

We all need to be more understanding

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-21T20:09:25+00:00

Not really too much since I came here for entertainment purposes I guess I've learned a little bit more math about how much harder guys have it in terms of dating but outside of that really how many excuses both sides make

WYenginerdWY · 2022-02-21T20:16:19+00:00

I've learned that interacting with manosphere men is exactly as productive as I imagined it would be. However, I have had a chance to back them into their own denials, deflections, rationalizations, and lies which is always satisfying since they crow continuously those are strictly feminine traits.

Title	What part of the dating discussion has this subreddit helped in changing your mind?
Author	Habil13
Upvotes	3
Comments	112
Date	February 21, 2022 4:46 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sxy2l0/what_part_of_the_dating_discussion_has_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-part-of-the-dating-discussion-has-this.1103676 https://theredarchive.com/post/1103676