What would make you decide that you and a guy are sexually incompatible?

kcam3114 · 2022-01-05T21:35:15+00:00

Aside from obvious things, there’s just a chemistry that you can’t put in words. Either you have it with each other or not.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-01-05T20:58:18+00:00

i would find a man sexually incompatible with me if he had a wildly different sex drive from myself and/or he had particular kinks that they needed to be happy that I was not into.

most other things can be worked out or worked on.

ruboyuri · 2022-01-05T23:21:22+00:00

Lack of consideration, aka selfishness, covers most of it

DaburuKiruDAYO · 2022-01-05T21:25:55+00:00

Vastly different fetishes or kinks.

delusionalubermensch · 2022-01-05T22:57:28+00:00

Mismatched drives. Mismatched physical/chemical attraction to each other. Wildly different styles combined with either partner being unwilling or unable to adapt and work together to find an appropriate blended style.

TomorrowsWar · 2022-01-05T21:09:34+00:00

Hygiene

Stubborn/doesn’t take feedback well

Has kinks or fetishes I can’t tolerate

Not passionate, too aggressive, or not attentive

Too anxious or sexually repressed

If he doesn’t love to eat

I usually know after the second or third time. I actually usually decide when we are just making out before we even start having sex. Never had to leave someone over sexual incompatibility after we started having sex

rosephase · 2022-01-05T20:56:22+00:00

The way he smells. The way his dick is shaped. Aggressively bad sex.

One and done for all of those things.

death_by_1000_cats · 2022-01-05T22:05:44+00:00

Something gross about his body that wasn't evident before
Doesn't want to "lead" in bed (although this would probably be filtered for prior to actual sex)
Too rough/aggressive in a way that hurts or frightens me
Doesn't take his time on foreplay (but again, most likely I wouldn't get to the point of having sex with him if this were the case)
Kinks/fetishes that gross me out

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-01-05T21:00:08+00:00

It would take me communicating to him that my sexual needs are not met and telling him what would meet my needs. And then him still continuing to not meet my needs.

divinedeviancy · 2022-01-06T02:55:06+00:00

If he treats foreplay like a chore and doesn’t care about my pleasure.

-WhoIsJohnGalt- · 2022-01-05T23:16:07+00:00

uh, bad sex

JoanGreenCat · 2022-01-05T22:54:07+00:00

Hygiene, if he would try to push me into some kinks like degrading, pissing, shitting, vomiting, if he would try to fuck my throat or choke me.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-01-05T23:16:47+00:00

He wont give me oral and doesnt enjoy making out. Or hes too big for me so sex is not enjoyable for me.

DreamsOfWishes · 2022-01-05T21:19:01+00:00

Wrong size: too big, too small or not enough girth.

Ignoring my "no's" and you would be fucking suprised at the amount of men that make it clear that they're going to ignore my "no" before we're even in the bedroom. I don't like oral and apparantly that's an invite to try and convert me.

Thinking he has more knowledge about what I like then me.

pearllovespink · 2022-01-05T23:24:38+00:00

I dated a guy with the wrong D shape. He also wasn’t attentive enough for me.

rosesonthefloor · 2022-01-06T05:52:03+00:00

If he’s super vanilla, a selfish lover, or unwilling to explore new things/try things differently.

Alternatively, if he was really into something that wasn’t a compatible kink.

NefariousnessStreet9 · 2022-01-06T00:25:18+00:00

Nothing other than a rigid mindset, which would've been an issue before I decided a guy was that great. I've been able to train any guy to satisfy me, even one I dated that had a micro penis. The only problem is when a man is too rigid in his thinking, which is unfortunately a huge problem for way too many people (including women).

ididntwanttoexist · 2022-01-06T11:17:19+00:00

Kinks that are unappealing to me. If I'm just neutral I can work with it.
Heavily into being exclusively dominant or submissive. I can do either but don't want it to be the only thing, or a lifestyle thing.
Wanting me to make lots of noise and/or say stupid shit. DiRtY TaLk is cringe.
Will not accept that I simply don't like/am turned off by certain things, and it's nothing to do with his skill or training him to do it better.
Bad hygiene.
Having an extremely high sex drive, but this would have to be at a level where it's regularly interfering with other things I want to do, to bother me. Someone that thirsty for sex would be unlikely to meet my other requirements anyway.
So big it's uncomfortable, but this seems unlikely. Otherwise I don't care. Micro dick, trans with no dick, doesn't matter.
Overemphasis on the importance of sex, in general. This doesn't mean low libido despite how much people always conflate it, because I'm certainly not, I just don't care about actual sexual contact with another person to satisfy my needs. I'd be equally happy with a sex-repulsed asexual person. I'd say my libido is extremely high but my sex drive is entirely reactive and only exists when I have feelings for a specific person.

It doesn't seem like there's that much that can't be solved outside of the stuff I've listed assuming I'm in a loving relationship, we care about each other's pleasure, and we're communicating clearly.

Failswithsoof · 2022-01-06T13:47:44+00:00

If i cant meet his needs and he cant meet mine, we are not compatible sexually and should talk about perhaps seeing other people or the possibility of a sexually open relationship

100000nopes · 2022-01-06T16:21:46+00:00

If the honeymoon phase has come and gone and sex once or twice a week was not enough. I am not a horn dog that wants to fuck multiple times a day. I feel it's good to space out sex a few days to keep things as fresh as possible. And frankly orgasms aren't that important to me. I could have one a week and be perfectly fine.

RPslimjim · 2022-01-06T21:12:51+00:00

I dated woman who was just too small for me. Everything would hurt her.

moseby75 · 2022-01-06T21:46:35+00:00

For me, as a dude, two words. Tranquilized mattress.

It’s a deal breaker, and I’m not freaky at all.

Cant_stop_wont_st0p · 2022-01-06T22:11:33+00:00

Under 6’4, sub 8 in the face

ohdiddly · 2022-01-06T03:10:47+00:00

If he doesn’t make me cum, and fails to even attempt make me cum, I’m out.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-01-05T23:07:55+00:00

I am just on that edge right now for this reason. I am currently seeing a guy who is extremely keen on getting me off with head, before penetration, but then I never orgasm during penetrative sex because he finishes way too soon for me to even get close. It won’t satisfy me in the long term. And we discussed kinks, he basically doesn’t have any, while I definitely do… Plus I will admit that he is not really my usual choice of partner. Lovely guy, but I think I just don’t like him enough.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-01-05T22:43:41+00:00

If he's violent during sex, misogynistic, or requires that he's dominant. If he's not okay with things I want to do during sex (he doesn't need to necessarily want to do all of them). If he's pushy about having sex, isn't happy with waiting as long as I do, believes in sex without love, or has had a lot of partners. If he doesn't make as much effort as he can to make me orgasm. If he tries to recreate porn sex or try anything new without asking first.

jasamsloven · 2022-01-06T00:03:10+00:00

If he watches porn/doesn't take feedback

toasterchild · 2022-01-05T23:16:19+00:00

The number one worst is if he doesn't play well with others and is just really pushy for whatever he wants. Go buy a doll dude.

PreparationWorried33 · 2022-01-06T01:07:25+00:00

If we’ve had sex 5 or more times, I communicated and reiterated what I like during all those encounters and I still don’t orgasm. That signals to me that we’re probably just sexually incompatible.

Side note, if he was into stuff that are hard limits for me. That be a huge dealbreaker as well.

EmmmElll · 2022-01-06T03:25:28+00:00

I had a guy friend who had to break up with a girl because she only wanted anal. She would do it vaginaly for like 2 minutes then flip over. He couldn’t take it

boofthegirl · 2022-01-05T22:32:15+00:00

Hygiene. Lack of care for my pleasure (like, if he just goes at it like a rabbit and then rolls over, won’t perform oral, etc). If he doesn’t listen to my suggestions or gets overly defensive when I move to correct him for my own pleasure. Has kinks that I can’t get on board with (piss, scat, etc etc).

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-01-05T22:39:01+00:00

How good the sex is. I'm going to need an orgasm ratio of at least 5:1.

EDIT: unless we're wasted or something, he only gets that one shot.

houstongradengineer · 2022-01-05T23:48:42+00:00

Aside from the obvious stuff like no attraction or hygiene, too pushy, weird kinks, wildly different sex drive that everyone else has commented on?

I want to say the opposite of that u/catyfuzz person, almost?

I would be incompatible with a guy who doesn't value sexual privacy and who doesn't care about either of us doing sexual things with others. That wouldn't work for me ever. I say I "almost" disagree with catyfuzz... because I'd also be incompatible with a guy who sexualized another woman breastfeeding or who said to me while breastfeeding "omg put those away, you're being TOO SEXY." I mean, what are you, a 15 year old drama queen? That's a No from me sexually and emotionally, as it is pretty much the same thing for me.

We would be sexually incompatible if one of us were unable to maturely express genuine satisfaction with each other, especially physically, inside and outside of the bedroom.

I would generally be incompatible with most porn use outside of fairly extreme circumstances. If it affected my monogomous sex life at all and he was an impulsive person about it, yeah that's not compatible. I choose monogomous IRL sex, every time. Not that I have to be inflexible in long distance or chronic medical situations, but if the guy has a choice and he's choosing different- that's very incompatible. Him being an inconsiderate/impulsive dick about it would be a dealbreaker, too, sexually or otherwise. Dishonest or manipulative men don't do it for me.

If he didn't prioritize giving me orgasms at least as often as I give him orgasms, we would be incompatible.

In addition to the IRL monogomous sex thing, I need to be pursued and desired for who I am mentally, physically, and emotionally. Manwhores don't do it for me if they're just hitting on me for a warm hole. Wallflower men who can't make a move after 6 months of exclusivity don't do it for me. Gotta have that balance.

Goldfish112233 · 2022-01-05T21:32:24+00:00

I think the biggest “no” would be if he wouldn’t listen to or respect any advice I give him. I’m still “pure” as some may say, but this is something that will always be important to me. If he won’t listen to what I want or need to feel pleasure, and only look for pleasure for himself then I don’t feel that the relationship in general would be compatible. Hygiene is important as well, just where he keeps every part of his body clean. Finally, if he enjoys things that I can’t do for him. I want him to be fulfilled in his relationship, so if he has something he particularly likes that I’m not able to do for him, or that I’m not comfortable doing, then I wouldn’t want him to be with me where he isn’t getting that.

xcheshirecatxx · 2022-01-06T00:09:27+00:00

It doesn't hurt me. He's willing to listen

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-01-06T00:23:44+00:00

Assume you really connect with a guy. You like him. You've waited long enough for sex to be comfortable. He meets all your requirements for a LTR or more. Then you have sex.

😂😂

LUCKYMAZE · 2022-01-06T02:16:10+00:00

Truth: if he as an Ugly face

catyfuzz · 2022-01-05T20:59:26+00:00

A guy who feels that if other people see me naked the relationship is not as valuable because he feels only he should have access to that.

A good example of this is having an onlyfans.

globalholiday5090 · 2022-01-05T22:35:52+00:00

if its way too small or if i dont like the way he tastes when fresh out the shower or if he has kinks he needs that i cant bring myself to do ever.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-01-06T00:31:16+00:00

Hygiene , trimmed hair is a must .

Non vocal just grunts , such a turn off. Shows hesitancy , and an inability to take direction to learn better technique. No orgasm on my behalf , Would of been out of there after 3 times max.

Could care less about receiving oral. Have better O's on my behalf with PIV. So size, and girth would of been super important.

Married now , So whom I'm with has exceeded my expectations🙂

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2022-01-06T01:09:40+00:00

Hygiene, size, not dominating enough, not caring enough. I can’t really think of any others atm. I don’t believe in “test driving” though so I guess it would suck if it ended up not working out haha

flowerwoven · 2022-01-05T20:55:10+00:00

Literally nothing. Sexual incompatibility doesn't exist.

just_nosey92 · 2022-01-05T21:30:39+00:00

Different sex drives . My partners is the closest I've ever had. I never want it any less lol

sweetestpineapple · 2022-01-06T03:31:54+00:00

Lack of attraction on one or both sides, inability to keep up with my high sex drive, refusal to give oral, if he pressured me into anal or any fetish involving feet or body fluids.

Mundane-Currency5088 · 2022-01-06T04:35:33+00:00

Hygiene. Talking about Hygiene and they agree how important it is but they still never floss or wash between the balls and the thigh, yuck....and Boundary Pushing. I will absolutely not trust someone in the bedroom if they do not take no for an answer outside of it with our clothing on.

IcarusKiki · 2022-01-06T04:42:16+00:00

If the sex isnt awkward or if he has incompatible kinks. Or he has a low libido

bitchcraft_7 · 2022-01-06T04:50:21+00:00

Someone that has a history of having casual sex but doesn’t get tested regularly. Such behavior is childish and dangerous and you’d be surprised how many people don’t do this which is the bare minimum to me

cvltts · 2022-01-06T05:18:41+00:00

particular fetishes, not good hygiene, not listening to what i personally enjoy or want, incompatible size or shape

NarniaFox · 2022-01-06T05:44:27+00:00

Very different libido to the point where we couldn't compromise on it, kinks he necessarily wants to practice that I find disgusting/concerning (BDSM, humiliation, shit play etc). I guess there might be some physical incompatibility too, like him having too small/big for me or having a weird angle that would hurt me. Not respecting my boundaries. Not going down on me, not caring about my orgasm.

lonely_mixtape · 2022-01-06T07:42:24+00:00

If they had a really low sex drive and were exclusively a sub.

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Rozoark · 2022-01-06T14:13:48+00:00

If I talk with him about what I enjoy and what turns me on and he doesn't want to do any of those things or the other way around, then I would say we aren't sexually compatible. Or if there is a big difference in sex drive between me and my partner.

Cauligoblin · 2022-01-09T17:47:14+00:00

I’m very willing to give my partner a lot of time and instructions and demonstrations to get me off, the one dealbreaker for me would be violating my boundaries, like going for anal without asking me first, hitting me without discussing with me beforehand, etc.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-05T21:17:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rick-dicking-morty · 2022-01-06T08:04:28+00:00

If a guy is less dominant than me

justpassingbyby · 2022-01-06T11:00:51+00:00

I am kinda kinky. Told the dude and he started yelling I must be sick in the head and that those things were absolutely disgusting. I wanna clarify that I just talked about my taste that, to be honest, ain't even that weird (I like gentlish femdom stuff, shibari and ghostwrite smut when I feel like it).I didn't try in any way to force him in any kind of play. I am seriously okay with people not being into kinks and I do like my vanilla fun.

He was also pro domming other dudes for cash, so I felt I could tell him. It turned out he actually hated his clients and he just did it for the money. So yap. Not on the same line.

cloudnymphe · 2022-01-06T13:58:34+00:00

Sexual compatibility is super important.

I love variety and trying new things in the bedroom so someone who’s boring and shoots down all my fun kinky ideas and isn’t open minded try lots of different things would be a no go, doesn’t enjoy oral (both receiving and giving), not prioritizing my pleasure and sexual needs at least equally as I do theirs, doesn’t listen or communicate well, lack of fluidity eg. they either expect me to lead all the time or they never let me lead (need me another switch), are too rigid in the order in which we do things (which sex acts are done when, who cums before/after who...etc), tries to rush through everything and never wants to take it slow and have some sensuality up in this bish, not enough sex, doesn’t moan (LOVE that shit), answers the phone to talk to their aunt julie while we’re in the middle of fucking (just rude), has a portrait of their children tatted on their chest because that would kind of weird me out, pretends to be Gordon Ramsey after he eats pussy and rates it as if he was on Hell’s Kitchen (this is negotiable if he gives a decent rating), deletes the nu metal off my sex playlist.

I strongly prefer if my partner is a bit kinky and into being more submissive but i guess that is not a total dealbreaker.

Sekina7 · 2022-01-06T19:00:53+00:00

Being broke and| or stingy.

Title	What would make you decide that you and a guy are sexually incompatible?
Author	WilliamWyattD
Upvotes	36
Comments	244
Date	January 5, 2022 8:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rwwm55/what_would_make_you_decide_that_you_and_a_guy_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-would-make-you-decide-that-you-and-a-guy-are.1094439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1094439