What’s the easiest part of the dating process?

Ichikarayarinaosu · 2019-06-23T15:07:22+00:00

I'm pleased to see guys here saying what my experience is, too:

The easiest part - so easy that it made me understand women so much better - is going from sex to them wanting to be in a relationship with me.

The hardest part is everything up until I make a woman genuinely laugh and start physical escalation. Up until then it's like defusing a bomb. After that you're just disassembling it.

Since sex-to-relationship is so easy for me, I took it for granted, I understand that for women - meeting-to sex-is the exact same thing inverted. I finally understand the nonchalance and don't bear any resentment for it anymore.

It also made me understand why women are so terrified of not being able to find a fantastic relationship with a man. If you're a man of value, after you have sex, you stop auditioning for sex. After that a woman starts auditioning for a relationship with you (it's always a balance between both these drives in each individual, of course).

You can get plenty of practice of meeting-to-sex as a guy if you are prepared to sacrifice your ego and take rejection after rejection. Letting it toughen you up and see past that to what you want.

Women do not get many attempts at practicing sex-to-relationship with fantastic guys. Not talking about guys who are ridiculous examples of exceptionalism. Just the best in the pool that the woman can access. If she gets six months into a relationship and they hit an impasse, after they break-up she benefits from the lessons learned from the experience (hopefully he does, too) and applies them forward. Then she gets twelve months into a relationship and repeats. Always learning and moving upwards, and hopefully learning to be better in a relationship; to be someone a guy likes, who he wants to be around, and when connected she is at her happiest.

But every time it resets she's sacrificed time. And now she's got to get back out there. She can have fun for a bit, but she wants to get back to her happiest at some point. And that means taking the plunge into another relationship.

The more of men's bullshit she encounters the better she gets at detecting and nipping it in the bud. She heads back out.

There's nothing happier (in hetero-land) than a woman who's goofy-happy with a great guy she respects. It's unbelievably powerful. A woman only gets that with the guy once he's in a relationship with her. And that only happens once she's grown on him. That takes time. If she doesn't do anything to earn it, if he's needy and hands over the keys to a relationship too soon, she disrespects him and she deep down is disgusted with herself. If she waits and works on herself and her connection with him, until she grows on him and one day he takes a moment to look in her eyes and say, "I love you", it's like the greatest fireworks display the emotional dimension can witness between a man and a woman.

That's why I empathise with women who feel lonely in terms of romantic, adult relationships. There's so much that can go wrong on the way there after sex, and even once the relationships established. And every time she starts pushing the boulder back up the hill, she won't know for some time whether or not she can find something that will last. It's chaotic again.

In another inverse way - men confront chaos (yeah, yeah, I know) more harshly from meeting-to-sex. There's a woman's hand hovering above the sex-destruct-button and he has NO IDEA until he wracks up some experience what keeps things from turning into nuclear winter. And women will never outright spell out for guys, "Here's how you walk up to me and get me." Then it's not real. Same with guys - we'll never say, "Ok, honey, I had a blast having sex with you. Now here's what you do to grow on me, so that I want to sacrifice potential new women to focus on my connection with you. Follow these steps and you'll be in a loving relationship with me before long." Because we want that stuff to come from the woman's authentic self, so we can trust it. But until that point - a great guy can trust he'll find women wanting to be in love with him, if he can successfully audition to have sex with them. He may never get laid again, but if he does, a woman's love is a good possibility.

A woman can trust she'll always be able to get laid (by someone), but most women can't assume they'll find love after that. There's only a certain number of times that she can audition for a relationship before whatever age she's at. A certain amount of wisdom she can bring to the table for next time. The rest is a roll of the dice whether she will be able to grow on him.

TheJim66 · 2019-06-23T12:06:10+00:00

Turning a plate into a relationship.

As an aside, the only difficult part is going from meeting a random woman to setting up a date with her.I found that once a woman has agreed to go out with me (and doesn't flake) I can almost certainly turn it into a lay or whatever I want.

Texastentialism · 2019-06-23T14:33:49+00:00

Getting dressed.

angels-fan · 2019-06-23T14:09:48+00:00

Dealing with women that can't separate emotions from sex and think you owe them a relationship if you've fucked.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-06-23T13:05:36+00:00

The hardest part is making a good first impression

pngmafia97 · 2019-06-23T14:06:37+00:00

Getting somebody fully infatuated with me (after initial interest is already established) / playing the game

CamoWoobie10000 · 2019-06-23T14:07:35+00:00

After youve already smashed

ohheyhi99 · 2019-06-23T14:23:37+00:00

Chatting the woman up when we meet is the easiest part for me, but depending on how attractive I am to her, this part will remain easy or become difficult.

[deleted] · 2019-06-23T15:41:34+00:00

Easiest part of dating? Dating. Gosh, there is literally no challenge for me to date a man. Once the relationship gets going THEN things have thorns but just casual dating is pure fun, no downside.

wtknight · 2019-06-23T16:10:19+00:00

The easiest part for me has always been maintaining the relationship once it has started. The hardest part is reading IOI's and obtaining that initial interest from her through engaging conversation and witty banter.

AutoModerator · 2019-06-23T09:53:14+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

DesignerDebates · 2019-06-23T11:04:06+00:00

Are both of these questions supposed to be for men?

Gravel_Roads · 2019-06-23T14:14:31+00:00

The easiest part for me is always generating the initial spark. I'm not generically handsome, but I have a kinda unique set of facial features (sharp cheek bones, half-mood eyes, wide mouth) that people seem to find compelling. In conjunction with a friendly, open attitude means I more often than not have to proactively push people away because, as an introvert, I have to be careful not to accidentally set people up with false expectations of how much of my time they can expect to be given in the future. (Abundance mentality is real.)

Orange_Paisley · 2019-06-23T14:30:21+00:00

Saying yes to the date is the easiest part.

PanderjitSingh_k · 2019-06-23T16:09:46+00:00

It’s all easy and fun. That’s what I remember anyway.

DREADC0RSAIR · 2019-06-23T20:42:11+00:00

Dating is all around easy if you actually like the person, if it feels like lobour than its only going to get worse down the line.

[deleted] · 2019-06-23T22:46:19+00:00

Flirting/gaining their interest is really easy for me. Then I just become distant for no reason and don't know how to indicate that I would be open to dating them.

pnadlerlaw · 2019-06-24T04:13:27+00:00

Male, easiest part: From the first date and onward.

washington_breadstix · 2019-06-24T04:43:16+00:00

Lol. I'm an average-looking guy. There's nothing easy about it.

[deleted] · 2019-06-24T10:18:27+00:00

The only part of dating that isn't easy is finding something worth committing to

tgertcher · 2019-06-26T07:30:22+00:00

The initial phase of the relationship. You give too much attention, it's clingy, they leave. You give too little attention, you're ignoring them, they leave. It's all difficult but that part is the worst so far.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-06-23T15:37:39+00:00

The beginning, I am pretty good at making someone go crazy in a one on one date/conversation. Im good at making people fall in love.

I am bad if I have to be outside my element, commit to anything, maintain things like even just regular communication when i dont feel like it...

Title	What’s the easiest part of the dating process?
Author	decoy88
Upvotes	3
Comments	61
Date	June 23, 2019 9:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/c41yvy/whats_the_easiest_part_of_the_dating_process/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-the-easiest-part-of-the-dating-process.255166 https://theredarchive.com/post/255166