When it comes to who pays for dates, many women say that the gender wage gap justifies the expectation that men pay for dates. However, amongst the demographic that is dating (i.e., single people), single women outearn single men. Therefore, by their own logic, women should pay for dates.

DrawingNudess · 2021-07-07T21:00:56+00:00

It all comes down to individuals, I mean as a man you can refuse to pay for the whole date, and she can refuse to go out on a date that she has to pay her half. It is a free world. In the end you either find someone that can comply with your demands or you need to adjust to get a date, there is no right or wrong.

2021-07-07T19:00:00+00:00

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AgentFillmore · 2021-07-07T22:12:53+00:00

Idk most women ive gone on dates with offer to pay their half. Yall going out with some whack women if they dont even offer to split it lol

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-07-07T19:35:38+00:00

There is no "logic" to this topic. Women want men to pay because they expect to be courted through having men basically do everything/put on a show for them. Women also think that simply being born female is enough to justify having men do everything since their participation in the deal is sex and pregnancy.

This, of course, is not congruent with them wanting equality so the choices are that women should get comfortable with paying their own way and contributing to the courtship process, or things revert back to more traditional settings. Can't have your cake and eat it too.

Uglinessisreal · 2021-07-07T23:22:23+00:00

I don't think anyone really uses that as their motivation.

I think trad dating type women want men to pay because it makes them feel special and the "arguments" they make are usually just thinly veiled ways to shame men who step out of line.

I think you're right with the last point though. If men don't want to pay for dates, don't date women who want you to pay. If women want to be paid for, don't date men who don't want to pay. Easy, everyone is happy because they aren't dating people with different values.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-07-07T19:05:13+00:00

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catchtowards12345 · 2021-07-07T19:47:03+00:00

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BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-07-08T17:11:08+00:00

"many women say that the gender wage gap justifies the expectation that men pay for dates." ...

Roflmao which women are saying this, feminists or what? 😂

Lawd.

Acceptable-Bid-4300 · 2021-07-07T21:07:49+00:00

There is no gender pay gap. It's also illegal in the USA to pay different rates based on gender. Amazed people still believe this.

ToughAnswers · 2021-07-07T19:07:43+00:00

The premise is “many women say that the gender wage gap justifies the expectation that men pay for dates”, even if you agree with the premise it’s only fair that you apply the reactive strategy to only these women.

Worried-Smile · 2021-07-07T20:46:34+00:00

Ok: there are women who aren't traditional, but do enjoy it if a man pays for the date.

But I really don't get your argumentation. If the goal is to date traditional women, not paying for the date seems like a pretty good way to scare off any traditional woman from wanting to keep on dating you.

Haunting-Ad-8603 · 2021-07-07T22:41:33+00:00

Women who lose interest in a guy for simply not paying her half of a first date is the equivalent to a guy losing interest in a woman for not putting out on the first date.

Why is it socially acceptable for women to make demands of the man’s wallet under the guise of “tradition” but the guy can’t make demands of the woman’s body without being viewed as sleezy?

Formal_Astronomer345 · 2021-07-07T19:56:52+00:00

And the wage gap exists mostly because women refuse to take up infrastructure jobs. Within the same profession men and women get paid the same.

justnotherthrow35 · 2021-07-07T23:07:00+00:00

I've never heard any woman use that defense personally. Imo what makes it equal is women get a lot more "dolled up" for dates, with jewelry, makeup, etc., shit that costs money that men don't do.

And before you say "well men don't care about that!" sit down, yes you do, I know damn well yall would likely walk out on a woman if she showed up bare faced unshaven yadda yadda.

Oh yea, also, if you're asking someone out you're implying you're treating them too.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-07-07T19:00:50+00:00

I have no problem with splitting the bill or taking turns paying if we have a similar income. I don’t even mind offering to pay if the date was my idea. If he makes bank and refuses to ever offer to pay for a date, pass. Likewise is he expects me to pay, pass.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-07-07T19:13:49+00:00

I've never heard this argument at all. Most women outright deny expecting a man to pay for dates. Or they'll give the conditioned politically correct "50-50" response.

Trust what women do, not what they say. And by "what they do" I mean, "Who gets laid?" In the context of going on a date for coffee, drinks, dinner, etc., it's usually the guy who paid that gets laid. I've not heard one man with abundance advocate for going dutch on the first date. Not. Even. One.

CameronJohns88 · 2021-07-08T15:40:05+00:00

If you’re trying to use logic in the realm of both women and the wage gap, you’re gonna have a bad time

Kentucky_Supreme · 2021-07-08T19:50:11+00:00

"Equality this, equality that."

Until it's time to pay bills.

Hoopy223 · 2021-07-07T18:55:50+00:00

Well yeah thats logically correct. If you are worried about being used for money/gifts/free dinners then don’t buy them anything or spend a bunch of money.

A woman who likes you isn’t going to demand an expensive dinner date especially if she knows you cannot afford it etc.

evanstown21 · 2021-07-07T19:32:23+00:00

I think it’s more that all the guys insist on treating me so if one guy demands that we go Dutch it signals that he doesn’t like me and there’s not gonna be a second date. Every guy that was head over heels for me wanted to treat me and have fun with me. Even with friends, if we’re eager to see each other, we’ll pay for each other to show generosity. I’ll always pay if I know I have zero intentions on seeing him again. Otherwise, I’ll insist on leaving the tip or if I really like him, suggest coffee/dessert so we can spend more time together. I think it boils down to culture.

Elena_Kyle · 2021-07-08T02:22:25+00:00

As a woman i never ask any men to pay for dates but not gonna lie, i'll be very happy if a man pays for me.

neetykeeno · 2021-07-07T21:33:37+00:00

It is really simple. We don't think there is any particular reason it is going to work out well with you unless we know you reasonably well already. And we don't think your thoughts about us that give you an erect dick are a particularly good guide to whether it will work out well. You're asking us to put up hard cash, a real resource, in order to buy a ticket in a lottery with unimpressive prizes....casual sex with men who need to cold approach strangers to get to know them better. Even assuming the women you ask on dates are all seeking suitable men as vigorously and with as high a level of motivation as you are (they aren't btw) why would we do that when we can instead spend that money seeking to meet more men through social circles and community activities?

There are lots of instances of men and women coming together because they met through some activity and it just grew out of that with very little extra money spent by either person before getting to the stage where they knew each other's relative financial situations and had decided upon what was the reasonable direction to take it from there. Paying for a date is not the only game in town and women put their resources into that other game.

And yes of course it becomes an even more pronounced thing when the woman has less resources than the man and knows it. Why wouldn't someone with few resources be scornful of someone with greater resources asking them to put a sizable chunk of resources into such an unpromising and uncertain exercise? For a particular demographic of women the wealth gap absolutely is a reason to demand pay for the date or get your dick far far away from me. That demographic is younger women with higher than average looks and lower than average income who are consistently being approached by guys with okish jobs but social skills too low to really do well in their own economic class. Those girls don't want to know about your dick unless you demonstrate you've got some skin other than foreskin in the game, and very sensible indeed this is of them. You aren't worth anyone not making rent this week or having to make it to payday on ramen. Doesn't matter how good you think you are, you aren't worth it.

just_a_place · 2021-07-08T00:52:58+00:00

It's just pure cringe in my opinion all these dudes still bitching and moaning about the "who pays on a date?" question. This is not hard!

The ones who initiates is the one who pays! This is BASIC brass tacks level Socials Skills 101 people! How autistic do you have to be to not comprehend this?

Women have no issues at all - NO ISSUE - with paying for a date with a guy they like, I am a witness to this myself. The problem is not on whether or not a woman is willing to pay it is with the mentality of the dude who has the social skills of a lizard in that he just utterly fails to comprehend that if you initiate the date then it should be your treat rather than expect the invited guest to pay for their own shit.

Let me put it this way: Would you go to a party where you are expected to pay for all your own shit? Imagine a birthday party where you are charged for your slice of cake, your paper hat, and you have to pay for anything that you want to drink. You know what is going to happen right? The guests are going to say "fuck this weird asshole making us pay when he was the one who invited us."

A girl is going to feel uncomfortably awkward when you behave so socially clueless. She will be turned off by your autism and unconscientious demeanor than by actually having to pay.

If you are so utterly clueless as to have the audacity to argue about this point then that is just making everything a whole lot worse for yourself. You are essentially doubling down on being unattractive to women and then complaining that they find you unattractive.

When I invite a girl out I pay for her cause she is there under my invitation. When a girl asks me out she usually pays for me. This isn't even something that I have ever had to think about because it's obvious as fuck.

Lunar_Compass · 2021-07-07T18:54:56+00:00

Women want the benefits of traditionalism without offering traditionalism

Okay, let's go with traditionalism. No sex before marriage, a wife is SAHM, a dozen of children and man paying for all of this. And you are lucky if you will marry someone that you like and not the one that your parents chose for you. How many guys who are crying over a dinner would like this?

As for 50/50, would you pay a woman a half of a salary of a surrogate mother for carrying your goblin?

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-07-07T19:17:58+00:00

So women use a statistic pulled out of someone's ass to make a point?

Ok.

One third of women use dating apps to get free meals.

There. That's my defensive statistic. Now let's go 50/50 or fuck off.

JazziestCabbage · 2021-07-08T00:10:29+00:00

I've never expected a dude to pay for any date. In the past I was actually more inclined to buy things for them if they needed it, my first boyfriend was really poor so I would buy him food and snacks a lot, i'd even pay for his electricity. It's foolish to give people you aren't in a serious relationship money. Of course that ex and I didn't last. I kept N0 because my ex never showed me he was really serious about a future. I met my fiance and he was very different, although he'd accept splitting on dinner bills at first, when we became serious he'd buy me stuff. We're not religious, but I wanted my first sexual partner to be someone I'd marry and have a future with.

short-cosmonaut · 2021-07-07T20:45:43+00:00

Here's my hot take: whomever invites should pay the bill.

Edgy, right?

The_Important_Stuff · 2021-07-08T06:08:09+00:00

I think this way of traditional dating is overstated.... there are so many people who "fall into" a relationship with someone at work, college when you are both poor college students, "hanging out" with someone you met on social media, hookup turned into a relationship, etc. I think the traditional route of courtship and "asking a girl out on a date" is kinda dead, regardless of what r/PurplePillDebate and r/FemaleDatingStrategy says.

Literally no one in my social circle past or present, or family, got together with their significant other through traditional dating. It's dead and it's all theory with little basis in reality.

And even if it was a thing, if you aren't into traditional dating and courtship, you don't associate with women who are. I think if you aren't into that, you wouldn't want to ask out a traditional person to begin with.

I think the key is to prevent yourself from having to participate in OLD to begin with. As an example, 30% of people meet their significant other at college, and over 60% of women want to meet their significant other in college. Those are actually decent odds, and if you are a person who wants that, and you are in college, then is the time to do it. Like I said, this is an example. I know no everyone goes to college.

I think people forget that Americans are poor as fuck and the economy is pretty bad for younger people trying to tie down a partner. The median wage in the US is only $34,000 and there are huge concentrated areas of poor people across the country, as well as cities that are cost prohibitive to live in. The idea of a woman spending $100 on makeup for a date and a man being forced to pay for a $200 dinner just isn't reality for 99% of Americans.

realadvicenobs · 2021-07-08T15:43:56+00:00

I never pay full unless im exclusive and its her birthday or some special occassion. Usually always split

rosesonthefloor · 2021-07-07T19:06:32+00:00

This is why free dates are great to start lol. Then after you can trade off costs if it’s really a big deal. Although a guy who was persnickety over who paid what would be a turn off. Don’t ask me to split the pizza when I bought all the ingredients for the fancy meal I made you the other day.

I’ve paid for guys in the past, and even dated a guy for almost 2 years where I was the breadwinner. But ultimately a more traditional relationship suits me best. I’m going to be the more traditional girl - he better be a more traditional guy.

Don’t want to pay? Don’t pay. Simple.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-07-07T19:16:14+00:00

If you want traditionalism, be prepared for women to marry you (not fuck... marry... fucking is for married couples only) solely because of your ability to pay for their shit lol

redditradishman · 2021-07-07T19:10:30+00:00

Dinner whores and foodie calls are reason enough to go dutch.

TakeThePinkPill · 2021-07-07T19:51:43+00:00

This is why I don’t like “choice feminism” Meaning anything a woman does is feminism because she has the power to choose. No. Pay for dates and if you don’t just admit you want to be wooed without making some dumb excuse about how you’re taking some kind of stance for equality.

Sekina7 · 2021-07-07T23:43:20+00:00

Now you’re creating delusional revenge fantasies . It’s not that deep. Men like what they see and act accordingly , it’s not rocket science. I’ve today alone had over prospect beg to see me and one guy creepily follow me for 5 blocks on my evening run after truing and failing to ask me out. Male thirst is well known and it is what it is so stop gaslighting just to be right . You sound ridiculous and whiny .

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-07-07T19:22:51+00:00

If I ASK you out, I'll pay for the date, that's just how I feel about it, if shes really super insistent I'll let her leave the tip if we go to a server based restaurant

Now if she's being a bitch or something like that , I will tell the server the checks are separate lol

But that's just how I was brought up, not because of some gender gap, hell if she brings up that mythical stat, just cancel the date fellas, save your time and money lol

flamingoinghome · 2021-07-07T19:15:44+00:00

I mean, sure, whatever. But...I think all the guys who flip out over the idea of treating a woman to dinner are really missing the mindset many people (men and women) have.

Some people.....are generous?

To say nothing of the fact that many men actually want to go to expensive places and do expensive things, and know that asking someone along to that is in poor taste if the other person isn't necessarily good for it.

y2kjanelle · 2021-07-08T07:13:33+00:00

I've actually never heard a woman say she wants a man to pay BECAUSE of the wage gap. I think that's bogus.

For me personally, I like it when the guy pays for the FIRST date just to show interest and effort. I usually offer to pay but it kind of turns me off if he doesn't try or ends up not doing it. Then after that, I will INSIST that we split or go back and forth with paying (I pay for one, he pays for one).

BikePersonDotCom · 2021-07-07T19:01:39+00:00

if guys want true 50-50, they can pay their wives and gfs to bear children and get on hormonal birth control. Tbh though, I'm glad there is this anti-paying "movement" on reddit - it's an easy way for women to filter out the men with super-autism

GimmeYaAnkles · 2021-07-07T22:21:09+00:00

The gender wage gap is a myth I’ve never met a woman that made less than me at any job, they’ve always made more, plus do less work. This is just anecdotal but I can’t be alone.

BlindMaestro · 2021-07-07T23:31:02+00:00

I wonder how they’d respond to a man reversing the direction of justification: women earn less because men pay more (and are expected to be breadwinners). Therefore, it’s justified. Like all things, advantages conferred by the patriarchy must be preserved and only the disadvantages need be dispensed with. Men will be expected to pay more when women earn the exact same salaries (despite less hours, experience, qualifications and competencies). You don’t see women fighting sex disparities in sentencing or other areas where they benefit from them. People only gripe about “inequality” and “unfairness” when it disfavors them, and not when it favors them. Few people actually champion equality as a universal ideal.

electric_giraffe · 2021-07-07T20:21:10+00:00

As soon as men start wrecking their bodies & occasionally mental health taking hormonal birth control 50% of the time and carrying the pregnancy for 4.5/9 months, I’ll start going Dutch on first dates.

It has nothing to do with the wage gap- the misconception that women are paid less for the same hours/ work. That is patently false. I’ve legitimately never seen a woman make a correlation between this & splitting the bill 50/50.

What is true however, is that pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood absolutely have a negative impact on a woman’s lifetime earning potential. A burden male parents do not shoulder. I’ve never met a successful, well adjusted man who didn’t inherently understand this dynamic. It’s only ever emotionally/financially stunted man children who aren’t really looking for a potential wife and mother to their future children but rather a roommate/ live-in maid/ personal chef who will pay half their bills and fuck them on demand.

I’m not complaining, it’s a quick way to sus out who’s not worth consideration. But threads like this are just sad. This mentality is cutting off your nose to spite your face. For the most highly sought after women, the challenge is sorting through whom, of the many men interested in dating you, actually have the potential for a healthy, long term relationship from those just looking to purchase sex for the price of a dinner out. (Which is such a strange mentality, you’re welcome to pay for sex if you like but I guarantee an escort who looks like me is going to run you a few thousand at minimum).

I don’t pretend to speak for all women, I know dating is a very different experience if you’re not conventionally attractive, not particularly emotionally stable, or both.

But honestly OP, this mentality of yours just ensures the top 15%-20% of women won’t look twice at you. I’m not saying no one will be interested, those with fewer options, or a desperate need for male validation will be undeterred.

Edit: I also wonder how much growing up with parents in a loving, healthy marriage & a strong, generous father figure who has always embodied the role of “provider” play into this. I can’t imagine introducing a guy like OP to my father… the only word that comes to mind is… embarrassing.

problemwithoutacause · 2021-07-08T14:55:32+00:00

I don't believe men should pay for dates. I'm a woman.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2021-07-08T20:07:46+00:00

I have a hard time believing single women aged 22-30 out earn men.

seulauclairdelune · 2021-07-07T19:15:30+00:00

The only men that complain about paying for dates are broke or work a shit job.

Edit: Or are feminine.

Nation_of_Two · 2021-07-07T19:58:54+00:00

The people who advocate for men paying the tab on dates never mention the wage gap, they mention manners and traditional expectations. I remember once I was driving to a guy's house to meet him for a date and my female coworker told me that was the wrong thing, you should make him come here and pic you up. It had nothing to do with wage gap, it was old fashioned prissy rules.

BigFatBigPotato · 2021-07-07T21:22:33+00:00

How bout grown adults just stop being cheapstake moochers and pay for their own damn food. Once your in relationship then you can start catering to each other and caring for each other. But if you’re still dating and getting to know each other, then I say “pay for your own food you loser!” Who gives a damn what gender you are. If a woman were to demand I pay for her, I would assume she is a whore and Is providing some sort of girlfriend experience service to me and requires payment, and has no real interest in me, at which point I would be done with her.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-07-07T19:38:02+00:00

The truth of course is that women wanting men to pay for dates has fuck all to do with the gender pay gap

They don't want men to pay for "dates" they want men to buy them food. That should tell men all they need to know.

Women want the benefits of traditionalism without offering traditionalism

There is nothing traditional about dating. Traditional people have arranged marriages.

Yet why would you? There are tons of attractive women willing to put out without demanding a bribe (or sometimes even a real name). Why not just go for that?

Because there aren't. That's a myth to keep men chasing civilians.

MrShittyFuck · 2021-07-07T19:39:57+00:00

Women pay for dates with Chad.

kissmetilyouredrunk · 2021-07-07T19:16:34+00:00

The reason (some) women demand that men pay has nothing to do with the wage gap. It’s because men are sexually indiscriminate and women don’t want to get used

BarryTheBstard · 2021-07-07T22:57:12+00:00

Modern feminism = we want equality when it suits us but special treatment when it’s to our advantage

NoChannel1 · 2021-07-07T23:23:45+00:00

The gender pay gap is a myth, the reason the statistic looks that way is due to manipulation. It's another con conjured up by the left for votes.

DarkDemonLord1 · 2021-07-08T12:18:50+00:00

You expect woman to think logical. Good luck with that.😂

BigCCPenis · 2021-07-08T15:26:44+00:00

plenty of women pay for your shit if you're hot enough. been bought ddrinks and food many times by now. but thenagain ive only been on maybe one date before i met my current woman. the dozens of women i was with before that, we never "dated." it was basically them buying me drinks, then we are lovers for a couple weeks

fast foward a few years, switched countries, tried dating and the first questions were "do you have money," (I'm not joking). i was so offended and turned off by this I went several years without even looking at the girls cause i just couldn't even get hard thinkin about them. for guys who aim to pay for a woman, i dont know how u deal with this but then again, i guess u dont have a choice

IntegrityDJones · 2021-07-08T19:25:15+00:00

This isn’t hard. There are women willing to pay. Men who don’t want to pay should seek them out, and make it clear up front they don’t want to pay.

There are men willing to pay. Women looking for that should seek that out and make it clear up front.

If neither of these can find that person, you need to accept that you’re not attractive (and I don’t just mean physically), enough to get what you want and that you might need to lower your standards, or just check out of the dating game. Dating is not a need.

Everyone can have preferences and desires. If you don’t attract what you want, either do something to make yourself attractive enough to get it, or accept that you aren’t and check out.

This isn’t that hard.

huhwhatokok · 2021-07-07T19:35:51+00:00

People still believe the wage gap is a thing and not just women flocking to useless liberal arts degrees lol?

awealthypauper · 2021-07-07T23:07:08+00:00

There's no gender wage gap.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-07-08T01:27:35+00:00

To me it’s not so much because of the wage gap, it’s more to do with both the monetary and non-monetary cost gap between men and women when it comes to dating, and the status quo of male attitudes. Let me explain. When a woman goes on a date, she already is spending a lot of money and time to look the way she is expected to look on a date. She also has more at stake just biologically when choosing to trust a man. Furthermore, no matter how much of a feminist she may be, most men are still pretty traditional/sexist/whatever you want to call it in their thinking. So if they are truly interested in a woman, they will want to treat her. A man who refuses to pay or picks free dates like a walk usually is NOT all about equality - he’s cheap, resents women, is spinning plates, or is just not into you.

Men have very little reason to ever turn down a date with a woman, even if he’s not into her, and usually won’t if he feels he has nothing to lose. So imo this is the main reason why it’s important that women do not ask men out and that men pay on the first date. There has to be that balancing factor.

Aceofspades2727 · 2021-07-07T19:12:28+00:00

First of all that study is only regarding single childless women/men between the ages of 22-30. Regardless i don’t care about any logical or wage gap argument or anything like that.

It’s a preference for me if a guy pays for a date after asking me out. If a guy can’t afford to pay for my drinks/food he’s not going to be a good fit for me. I make decent money and expect the same in a partner. If he can easily afford it but don’t generous enough after inviting me out then he’s not a good for me. In my experience guys are more invested/treat you better if they’ve taken you out/treated you then if you have sex with them after they’ve put in very little effort. If 95% of guys offer to pay for the first date after they invited me out then yeah I’m going to be a bit confused if a guy doesn’t since the precedent has been set.

As a young attractive woman, I have many people who want to date me and treat me to dinner/drinks. I also typically date guys older than me, which means they tend to make more money than me since they’re further along in their career. I don’t have to alter my preference because the dating market doesn’t make me.

IcarusKiki · 2021-07-08T01:26:06+00:00

"should"? What's should? If you as a man do not want to pay for dates you do not have to. And women do not have to date you or give you another chance.

superlurkage · 2021-07-07T19:34:58+00:00

Citation needed for this wage gap reasoning

Because the reason I see given most often is “thems that asks, pays”

ShakeNBake007 · 2021-07-07T21:44:18+00:00

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Gotta pick equality or free meals.

Thesinglemother · 2021-07-07T19:37:57+00:00

Traditionalism is when a guy pays.. how is that not offering “traditionalism?” Also men paying pre dates back in 1800s and even before then. Sure they justify it with Gap, but its only gotten better for women recently. Before that women werent allowed to bave a wage, or go to the bank with out a husband or father.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-07-07T19:56:00+00:00

It’s a no brainer from me. I’m looking for a partner so we’re splitting dates… if I pay it likely means you’ll never see me again and I feel bad for wasting your time.

SaBahRub · 2021-07-07T20:02:48+00:00

I’ve never heard a woman whip out the wage gap in real life

I have heard

Tradition/masculine authority

Transaction

Inviter pays

Dominant role play

TodTheRod01 · 2021-07-07T20:10:25+00:00

Also the wage gap is bullshit

PollyRiki · 2021-07-07T20:33:18+00:00

That’s broke mentality. I always pay for myself regardless but if a dude is stingy to that point, I don’t think I’d want to invest in him. I like to spoil and get spoiled .

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2021-07-07T21:16:23+00:00

This is such a USA thing. No one else goes out to dinner for a first date, it's a coffee shop or a bar and you pay for your own stuff.

Megabyte7637 · 2021-07-07T21:20:59+00:00

FoxyFeminist · 2021-07-07T21:52:37+00:00

I think the person doing the asking out should pay, not sure why gender is still a factor tbh

Autismothot83 · 2021-07-08T01:56:33+00:00

I've had men that get paid twice as much as me expect me to go halves. It wasn't really fair. It's not 50/50 when I'm on less than 50k. Decided that dating was too expensive.

DillonTheFatUglyMale · 2021-07-08T02:19:27+00:00

I refuse to comply. Which is why I dont date

fatalcharm · 2021-07-08T02:41:25+00:00

Honestly, I think whoever does the asking should have the expectation to pay for the day, and if the other person offers to pay then that’s a nice bonus.

When you invite friends to your house for dinner, you spend money on food, wine etc. you work hard at cooking the dinner and enjoy it with your friends, at the end of the dinner you don’t turn around to your friends and ask them to cough up their share of the meal (If you were to pay for the same meal at a restaurant it would cost quite a lot of money). You invited them over with the expectation that you will host and provide the food. Friends hopefully bring a bottle of wine, but you are the host who invited them over for a meal. The expectation is on you.

I think the same rule should apply for when you ask someone out to dinner, or even coffee. You are the one inviting them out, so you should expect to pay for the date. I personally always offer to pay for something, you buy dinner I will buy the drinks, or you pay your share and I will pay mine and I think it’s a nice gesture that I am offering, but if you ask me out then expect me to pay… no. I wouldn’t do that to you. Let me offer, because I will but don’t force me or trick me.

If you invite someone out on a date, you are offering to host, essentially.

Having said that, the issue is that men are often expected to be the ones to ask women out. This is where it becomes unfair on men. If men are always expected to be the ones doing the asking, then it’s assumed (by the “whoever asks, pays” rule) that they will be expected to pay. That’s unfair. This is why women need to be encouraged to take control and do more asking. Many red pill men might not like that but if they want the date-paying to be more equal…

Aimeereddit123 · 2021-07-08T04:19:44+00:00

It’s all simple if you just do like daters of the same sex do - the one that asks the other out should expect to pay. If your date insists on going Dutch, that’s fine, but the initiator of the date should assume they are paying.

imitatingnormal · 2021-07-08T13:46:26+00:00

Let me just toss in right here the amount women spend on tampons, gyno trips, lab work, Pap smears, mammograms, ultrasounds, etc.

I’m not saying women are owed this $. But … maybe pay for just the first date? Just to start off on a generous foot. Then split after that.

If she keeps expecting you to pay, then find a different lady.

EXACTLY THE SAME FUCKING THING