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When men decide to commit, they need to know for sure he will continually return to the same woman

vanBeethovenLudwig
January 25, 2018
2 upvotes
/r/PurplePillDebate

This is just pure observation from my friends who are married.

Boy meets girl, they date for a while, then the man will stray - either he cheats or they break up. The reason being that men tend to need to "test" the relationship in the sense that he knows he will go back to her. He needs to CHOOSE to go back to her, and that's how he knows he will commit to her.

This has happened to many of my married friends - the woman leaves his life for a period of time until finally he realizes that he can't live without her, and he decides to commit to her. Usually it's due to this feeling of peace from being with her - this settled feeling that makes men commit. Often or not the man also runs wild without her, thus the reason for going back to her for this sense of peace and home life.

That's why men cannot be forced into marriage - he has to realize he wants to commit to her. Women unfortunately can only play a passive role in this commitment game.

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Post Information
Title When men decide to commit, they need to know for sure he will continually return to the same woman
Author vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes 2
Comments 25
Date January 25, 2018 7:17 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-men-decide-to-commit-they-need-to-know-for.263848
https://theredarchive.com/post/263848
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7syiyt/when_men_decide_to_commit_they_need_to_know_for/
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Comments

[–]PBRScagsquad(((Prima Illuminatus)))21 points22 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

This reads like a male trying to hamster stringing along a girl while seeing other chicks until he deigns to commit to her for convenience.

[–]the_calibre_cat2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

To an extent, it is. Men aren't required to commit the instant they hit it off with one girl.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

In france, it is expected. You kiss a girl you're exclusive and committed to her.

[–]MercedesBenzoAMGbringing percocets molly percocet back to ppd2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah the whole "dating multiple people" thing is very American. I've only ever seen it on American sitcoms. Reporting in from the UK that's not how it works here either. If you're seeing someone and you get intimate it's not necessarily assumed you're in a relationship, but you work out how it is between you two. If you're being all romantic and acting like you want a relationship, it would be a big no-no to go dating others at the same time. If you agree to just be FWB obviously it's a different story.

But this idea you pursue relationships with multiple people at the same time is very alien to me.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I don't know how to perceive this. At least it doesn't consider men's commitment to be a given (so, men aren't devalued), but on the other side, who is most likely to benefit from this are women.

[–]MercedesBenzoAMGbringing percocets molly percocet back to ppd1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not really because if the man doesn't want a relationship, and he only wants FWB, he can make that clear. I think it's a pretty fair way of doing things.

And from my POV if I was really into a woman and she seemed really into me but was seeing other guys on the side I'd be unhappy to say the least.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not really because if the man doesn't want a relationship, and he only wants FWB, he can make that clear. I think it's a pretty fair way of doing things.

Covert contract for commitment but not for sex is nowhere fair.

[–]MercedesBenzoAMGbringing percocets molly percocet back to ppd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is no covert contract for either at least not in the UK. I can't speak for French culture of course. Here it's all about social cues. You make your intentions obvious by the way you conduct yourself.

[–]zarmock 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Women do the same all the time.

Even worse. I bet most women are having a huge black cock on the side, even if they are married or have kids.

Women can't resist. They are selfish.

[–]PBRScagsquad 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Lay off the cuck porn and cancel your subscription to Blacked.com.

[–]zarmock 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Keep your head in the sand dude, it's not my problem. Don't be surprised when you see a strange dude in bed with your wife.

[–]storffish12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

if this is true then suddenly that women initiate 70% of divorces statistic makes sense

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why don't they initiate 70% of the non married LTR then?

[–]RockinSocksII25F poiple INTP - Not single, Eastuss needs to know this9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Or you can find someone who doesn't play games and knows what he wants.

[–]Plopolok5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Next, in PPD: Q4W: Would you rather marry Bob Marley but he leaves and returns or Ser Jorah?

[–]whichbladeNA Paler Shade of Purple1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ser Jorah is awesome.

He might be a bit wrinkly, but he's still relatively attractive.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He wants sex with many women and have romance with you. But that isn't allowed.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What is your point

[–]TheBookOfSeilCuckleberry Finn2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has happened to many of my married friends - the woman leaves his life for a period of time until finally he realizes that he can't live without her, and he decides to commit to her. Usually it's due to this feeling of peace from being with her - this settled feeling that makes men commit. Often or not the man also runs wild without her, thus the reason for going back to her for this sense of peace and home life.

I think there are a variety of reasons for why someone would "go back to" another person, so I can't say that I totally agree with you. It could be that they tried to find someone else "better" and they couldn't, or they wanted a "break" (possibly sleep with someone else), or they really wanted to come back.

I don't believe in any "one true love" blue-pill monologue. There are plenty of people that one could have a satisfying and "peaceful" relationship with. Just hope that they don't find several of those at the same time or problems may arise where they "can't decide" between two or more people.

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[–]that_other_person1Red Violet Pill Woman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women have to show her man why she is a quality woman, and then most men will be happy to stay with her and will not stray. Sadly many people do still stray, but if his woman remains appealing to him, the chances for this are lower. So in this way, a woman has control. But you are right, at the end of the day it is often the man that holds the commitment card, as it is that the woman holds the sex card.

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry but this isn't the way most guys think. When guys fall in love its usually pretty quick -- we don't grow to love someone. If there isn't infatuation early its game over. Guys can decline to commit to an entire string of women -- but its not that he doesn't want to commit -- its just not that he doesn't want to commit to any of them. However, when he finds someone he thinks is special he can commit in a heartbeat.

[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't think men stray to "test" the relationship. Men stray because we have moments of weakness where opportunities with other women present themselves, and variety is the spice of life, even in the context (perhaps especially in the context) of women.

I don't think "testing" the relationship is a thing men do, at least deliberately - to me that's the thing that you're just doing at the various stages of the relationship.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigroses are red, feminists are blue1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see it this way - the man has to weigh the pros and cons of many different women in order to choose the best companion for him. That's why I think it's normal for men to play the field - if he doesn't know what he wants in a wife, he'll most likely run into marital problems later on in life. He needs to have some experience with other women in order to know who he chooses is the best option.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well. More or less the same woman.

Men marry hoping she won't change, and she does.

Women marry hoping he will change, and he doesn't.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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