Why do you women want romance in life?

gofigure62 · 2022-08-15T18:44:49+00:00

I was never in a toxic or abusive relationship.

I enjoy deep intimacy with thoughtful and generous people that I can't have with platonic friendships.

I like anticipating the needs of other people and I like having my needs anticipated.

Express-Fig-5168 · 2022-08-15T18:01:26+00:00

I won't have sex before marriage and no man is going to change my decision. There are abusive people in the world, but it's not all or even most people. I would like a family one day, but I don't feel pressured to find it or to conform to society to make someone that I don't want be interested in me. If you have values it is not hard to stick to them.

chalkandapples · 2022-08-15T18:25:54+00:00

Romance most of the time are just signs that someone cares about you. Everyone wants to feel loved and cherished. Romantic gestures very often overlap with generic nice things that people do for you.

For example, it's my birthday and I wake up to see a giant balloon saying happy birthday right beside a gift that was something I was wanting to get/researching for months. We go to a great brunch place I like, then in the afternoon we go on a sailing trip, then for dinner we go to a nice restaurant I like and we get a cake and everyone sings happy birthday to me.

If my parents or friends did this for me, it's not romantic, if my partner did this, then it becomes romantic. But either way it's a good experience regardless, whether it's romantic completely depends on the context and who's doing it.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-15T18:30:42+00:00

Because not every relationship is abusive or toxic and being in love is one of the best feelings ever. I don't care about hookups. I'd rather just not have sex if no emotions are evolved. I crave intimacy and that's what I want out of a partner.

I just didn't hook up. It was never something I wanted, and there are enough people who don't want it either that I just had to find one I liked.

I've wanted romance since I got my first crush at the age of thirteen. That was always just the desire I had - to find someone I loved, to become close to them and treat them right. It's just an innate human desire.

Novadina · 2022-08-15T18:44:20+00:00

After hearing or experiencing abusive and toxic relationships why do you still desire romance?

I don’t get why hearing about abusive relationships would make someone stop desiring non abusive relationships?? I always wanted a relationship that was loving and non abusive. As to why, I guess because it feels good to love someone and have them love you back, and to have a partner in life, and possibly it’s a mating instinct.

Why do you still want romance even if hook up culture is normalized?

Well meat eating is normalized and I still want to be a vegetarian. Also you can easily have hookups and romantic relationships in the same lifetime. Hookups weren’t fulfilling for me, but romance is.

For principally romantic women how did you manage to protect your values on sex and romance in the face of hook up culture?

I don’t think I did anything special. People hooking up doesn’t hurt me in any way. I just had to look for likeminded men to have a relationships with, which is true for every value I have, not just ones about sex. For example, most Americans are also overweight, but I value health, so I had to skip men that don’t share my values and date ones that do.

How did you get into romance like how did you develop desire to want romance?

I always wanted it as far as I know. Even as a little kid I remember thinking it would be nice to be an adult and have a man who loved me like my dad loves my mom, to get snuggles every night. I love cuddling my man, he is all hairy and snuggly and smells nice, it’s what I liked about men as a kid and now I have one for myself, lol.

beleidigtewurst · 2022-08-15T18:09:12+00:00

why do you ... desire romance?

I think it is our instincts that drive us to want to mate with someone attractive and reliable.

Romantic love is also quite an interesting phenomena.

How did you get into romance like how did you develop desire to want romance?

I don't think I've developed anything personally. Likely, my hunter-gatherer ancestors did and I've just inherited it.

Slipthe · 2022-08-15T18:06:39+00:00

Do we? What's romance? I think most married women see a man cleaning and ordering pizza as romantic.

Romance is just an idea of wooing and showing somebody they're important

ashpr0ulx · 2022-08-15T18:42:19+00:00

romance is nice. i like having someone to take care of and being taken care of in return.

i have no issue with hookup culture, but it doesn’t hold a candle to love.

sarkington · 2022-08-15T19:11:11+00:00

I don’t

I want an adult relationship with a person who enjoys my company and whose company I enjoy

And that’s what I got

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2022-08-16T04:04:37+00:00

I don't want "romance," exactly. I don't believe in marriage and any sort of romantic gesture made from a sense of obligation and not a genuine desire to do something nice for me gives me the yuck.

What I want (what I've already found) is someone who SEES me. I spend the majority of my life forced to be fake perky, a caricature of female performance, meeting the expectations of others. He does a job where he's frequently required to perform masculinity like a stage role.

When we get home we throw the performance by the wayside. We make time to talk about his feelings, his day at work. He gives me space to process my day in peace and silence. I make dinner and he does the dishes.

Everybody has different standards for their relationship. Romance is nice, but being alone is better than being with someone who doesn't make you feel loved.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-08-15T18:03:20+00:00

I don't really need or long for romance. I like hookups. I like casual interactions. I am not interested in marriage or a long term relationship (though I've had long term relationships in the past) though if I really like someone and they're interested I'll spend a lot of time with them.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-08-15T18:31:40+00:00

Why would we want to be valued vs used as a human cum rag… you’re joking right?

Scarypaperplates · 2022-08-15T23:21:41+00:00

A good question, im looking for a guy who has the same principles as me (ive rejected hook up culture, I know men who have done the same are the minority but I only need one after all) you make some good points here OP but I guess all I have left is faith and hope lol.

RealNiceLady · 2022-08-16T00:18:22+00:00

? Why do you still want romance even if hook up culture is normalized?

Hookup culture was the worst thing to happen to the dating market.

2022-08-15T18:38:31+00:00

Y do you want water?

SeveralSadEvenings · 2022-08-15T18:42:33+00:00

I've never experienced abusive or toxic relationships, and I was never interested in hook up culture.

For principally romantic women how did you manage to protect your values on sex and romance in the face of hook up culture?

Its quite easy, I just didn't participate.

How did you get into romance like how did you develop desire to want romance?

My parents had a wonderful marriage and modeled what love, romance, partnership, and commitment could be.

Romance/love/marriage were always forgone conclusions. I was pretty and popular, but I had enough self esteem and family support to avoid typical dating pitfalls. I was sheltered to a degree, but that gave me time and space develop boundaries and examine how I DONT' want to live my life.

It should be noted that my parents are lapsed Catholics verging on atheism, I am straight up atheist. Never in my life could I possess religious faith, even if I wanted to. I was raised areligious despite a brief period in my childhood where I attended an Unitarian Universalist church with my childhood BFF's family.

Deez_MF_Nuuts · 2022-08-15T23:07:42+00:00

Because it’s important to have variety in ones sex life…. Don’t get me wrong , love to do kinky shit, I’m mean 🤷‍♂️, who doesn’t like a little bondage and throat fucking now and then, but romantic sex can be just as equally awesome also!

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2022-08-15T19:37:55+00:00

When a relationship ends, I like to spend some time on my own, recuperate and find a new boyfriend when I'm in a good headspace and totally over my last relationship.

In this time, my sexual urges don't just stop. So hook ups satiate that need for me. I don't have loads of ONSs - usually it's a short fling for a couple of weeks/months.

I like having a boyfriend because they make me feel loved, valued and beautiful. I love having regular sex and a LTR knows my mind an dbody best. I also have a lot of affection to give and enjoy having someone to give that to.

brightglowup · 2022-08-15T20:05:00+00:00

Why do you still want romance even if hook up culture is normalized?

Because its lovely and feels great. It inspires trust and positive feelings about the man who is putting in this effort for you

You will notice while men run around accusing all women in participating in hookup culture, there are actually a fair share of single women who are celibate

Bc hookup culture feels bad to them. Men are not a good experience in this way and this colors your view of men, the ability to trust them or see them as anything good

Of course their are women who enjoy hookup culture and dont feel that way but then again, look at how men refer to those women

SouthernGrass3 · 2022-08-15T20:30:40+00:00

After hearing or experiencing abusive and toxic relationships why do you still desire romance?

I know not everyone is like this. I also know you have to be careful and avoid being vulnerable with those who may not have your best interests in mind… and even then you can still get bitten sometimes, but I’ll accept some risk for someone I mutually love. And I really love my partner.

Why do you still want romance even if hook up culture is normalized?

I’ve always been romantic and affectionate. Hook up culture hasn’t changed this.

For principally romantic women how did you manage to protect your values on sex and romance in the face of hook up culture?

I just didn’t want to hook up, so I didn’t do it—-This of course came with the risk that I’d miss out on people who might not want to enter a committed relationship with someone they’d never been intimate with. I do understand that not everyone wants to take this risk. Im in a position where it’s was much easier to hold out if needed, because I never wanted kids and I don’t mind spending time by myself.

How did you get into romance like how did you develop desire to want romance?

I just always connected to it. It is natural for me.

2022-08-15T20:57:12+00:00

My desire for romance is a natural/instinctual desire for me and has not been watered down by my bad experiences with others in the slightest. Having friends and family who had similar values and had amazing relationships helped to show that not all hope is lost.

For principally romantic women how did you manage to protect your values on sex and romance in the face of hook up culture?

I simply pick my battles carefully. I’ve always been saving myself for marriage but didn’t bring it up except in dating or when inquired about my romantic values.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-08-15T22:29:19+00:00

Because romance is the spice of life. Its how you show affection and love for a person in a relationship.

Some people want big grand acts of romance

I like small acts of romance. Making him coffee in the morning, him swinging by my favourite bakery on the way home to get me a treat, walks on the beach.

Without romance we're just room mates who have sex. And I ain't into that.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-08-15T22:56:33+00:00

I probably read too much Jane Austen as a kid.

And you haven't lived until you're watching The Sandman together cuddling with the person you cherish most in the world.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-16T01:06:48+00:00

I want love, not romance. I consider them two different things

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-08-16T02:43:31+00:00

I read a lot growing up. The best stories weren't strictly romances, but had elements of romance that I appreciated and revered. Give me all the romance! I've tempered my expectations as an adult. Romance doesn't need to be all hearts and flowers. Romance can be throwing together a quick dinner, cracking open a couple of beers, and watching something cheesy on TV, as long as you're having fun and enjoying time with your partner.

EulenWatcher · 2022-08-16T02:47:24+00:00

I haven't been in abusive or toxic relationships and I haven't participated in casual dating scene. I married my first partner and that's pretty romantic, especially by modern standards.

I think the desire for romance comes from overall romanization of dating we see in al sorts of medias. It's not exactly the type of romance I actively desire though. I value emotional connection and thoughtful gestures over something generically romantic.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-08-16T07:14:42+00:00

Romance is amazing with the right person, both doing things together you know makes the other one happy.

I planned to never get in a serious relationship again after being beaten up and abused but then I feel in love.

Why do you need to protect your values?

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-08-16T08:09:58+00:00

After hearing or experiencing abusive and toxic relationships why do you still desire romance?

I obviously want to have a good experience. I had a toxic relationship, but every relationship involves a differenr individual. And I desired romance since I was 7, I'm not sure if that can change easily.

Why do you still want romance even if hook up culture is normalized?

I think the same person can want both in different times of their life. Hook up culture being normalized honestly didn't have any effect on my dating life.

For principally romantic women how did you manage to protect your values on sex and romance in the face of hook up culture?

There was nothing much to protect. Me and my boyfriend had a crush on each other after being friends, hooked up and "became fwb", but neither of us could last in that arrangement as romantic feelings took over. Now we are very romantic and borderline obsessed with each other lol

How did you get into romance like how did you develop desire to want romance?

I'm pretty sure most people desire this, but the circumstances aren't currently right and they haven't met a person who makes them feel this way. I feel like this desire is intrinsic to me.

antariusz · 2022-08-17T04:46:26+00:00

I (23f) feel as though my last relationship was purely based of sex and finances and there was no form of direct intimacy. My ex(40m) at one point even said “we don’t make love we f^ck.” I threw the idea to my current (29m)boyfriend and he didn’t like that at all. My current boyfriend is a very intimate person. Not even in a sexual way. I’m the beginning of our relationship we had sex, but then we got on the idea of no more sex until we are married. He is very Christian based, and now I’m getting into it. It’s been difficult, but we have made it worked. He has shown me that there are tons of ways to be intimate and love each other without sex. He loves to go workout with me, watch tv shows, and hangout with each others family, and do other small things together.

Title	Why do you women want romance in life?
Author	gardenfan167
Upvotes	4
Comments	125
Date	August 15, 2022 5:48 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wp60d9/why_do_you_women_want_romance_in_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-you-women-want-romance-in-life.1127921 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127921