Why does it seem women biologically need something to complain about/fix/keep in order? [SERIOUS]

pngmafia97 · 2019-07-23T23:54:08+00:00

I don't take offense. This is absolutely true.

Women tend to be focused on continual improvement. Men tend to be complacent and happy where they are.

I never quite figured out why, because as individuals, men can be very driven towards self-improvement and women can be very lazy with themselves. But somehow, within relationships women are always the ones trying to fix things in some way.

One thing I've personally experienced (both as the nagger and the one being nagged) - is that calmly and constructively pow-wowing with men/children about a desired behavior change almost NEVER results in any change. The men/children say "yes" yet proceed to act the exact same way. Pavlov is like the domestic red pill women have to take; behavioral change doesn't come about by nicely asking nor even providing reason, it does by manipulating your subject's incentives.

My mom Pavlov-ed the fuck out of me. Sometimes I think it's abusive and other times I think it's ingenious.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-07-23T23:45:21+00:00

Neuroticism and attention to detail.

whichbladeN · 2019-07-24T00:07:40+00:00

The exact opposite is true for me. My boyfriend is far more concerned with constant progress than I am. He's a reformer and I'm a pleasure seeker.

I imagine you're finding patterns with women specifically because that's where you're looking. Laws of attraction.

Electra_Cute · 2019-07-23T23:44:57+00:00

Saying a behavior is "evolutionary" is vacuous, all of our behavior is "evolutionary" in a sense because are - I assume - biological organisms.

I keep everything extremely clean and orderly, because for whatever reason, that is the type of person I am. I have met both women and men who are neat and orderly(I know a male who was in the military who is a lot more clean than I am) and same goes for messy and lazy. There is not some special feminine essence present in every woman that makes her act this way, it is obviously far more complex than that. There is also a level of sexism involved in how men and women are seen doing the same tasks. Just go onto r/marriedredpill if you want to see a bunch of men complaining.

MyDogLovesCorn · 2019-07-24T01:04:36+00:00

Men have lower standards, honestly LOL

damaskrose · 2019-07-24T05:42:41+00:00

You do routine periodic maintenance on the car so it doesn't break down in the middle of the highway.

You don't wait until you have a toothache before going to the dentist, you go every 6 months and hopefully keep problems from happening.

It's better to prevent a problem than fix it, and better to fix a small problem than allow it to become a bigger problem.

CuriousOptimistic · 2019-07-24T00:33:10+00:00

Because women are judged mercilessly over Every. Little. Thing. I listened to a TED talk where the speaker (Reshma Saijani for reference) said that we raise our boys to be brave and we raise our girls to be perfect. This is absolutely true. Telling someone they must be perfect at all times is a surefire recipe for neuroticism. Raising a whole culture of women this way reinforces it.

This is more nurture than nature IMO.

SweetLikeTupeloHoney · 2019-07-24T01:11:34+00:00

Maybe it is a constant state of trying to improve and not necessarily complaining.

Almondxxx · 2019-07-24T02:42:29+00:00

As a woman, I always try to do relationship check ins. I always worry that something is wrong or my SO isn’t happy.

I feel bad because I probably bother him so much. But I want to make sure all our needs are met and to communicate problems.

Though I don’t nag. I think my mother did a lot though. I let my man be in terms of his life decisions unless it’s dangerous. But he doesn’t have much to nag about besides having to wear proper attire to certain functions..eye roll

littlecuterose · 2019-07-24T03:22:58+00:00

Yes, by evolution, women are more socially adept. Because they are domestic, they are also responsible for maintaining social order in our society. Everyone is aware how men’s behavior seems to change when women are brought into the picture. Women for the most part, when aren’t being nagging bitches, are always the first to bring up a solution or compromise in a dispute and constantly correct ‘wrong’ behaviors.

Blexit2020 · 2019-07-24T08:03:59+00:00

Maybe it's just the environment I grew up in and the activities I was involved with. I was a music major and have been playing piano for 29 years; classically trained. Perfection is heavily emphasized in music school, especially if one plays an instrument. I also had a strict, Christian upbringing, went to private schools (one that practiced corporal punishment), was pressured to get all A's and not be "another statistic" in my community, and wasn't really allowed to socialize with my peers unless they were from our church or my elders knew their parents personally. As far back as I can remember, every single thing that I did was picked over and heavily scrutinized. I had to be "perfect."

As a result, I struggle with "cutting loose" or "taking it easy" and always feel like I'm doing something wrong or aren't good enough. People think I'm "too uptight" and overthink things, and they're not wrong. I tend to always be "on alert" and waiting for a problem or criticism, because that's what I'm used to. Again, I observed this same behavior with my classmates who were also music majors. You become so used to criticism and negative feedback that, sadly, if it's not happening, you think something is wrong. Yes. I am aware that this is sad, lol.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-07-24T01:59:38+00:00

not a single woman in my family is like this, nor am i

is this some goyishe thing?

boomcheese44 · 2019-07-24T03:01:46+00:00

American woman thing...

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-07-24T11:50:16+00:00

I have a natural inclination to seek perfection, have projects, and improve.

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-24T12:46:05+00:00

I am fascinated by all these people that have jobs where they have free time to complain, listen to other people complain, I want one of those positions.

marriage_is_hell · 2019-07-24T00:47:32+00:00

male effort, resources and investment in exchange for female sex

woman nagging makes sense to max her end of the equation. Male complacency is the counter strategy to avoid caloric expenditure or sleep deprivation induced death at the hands of women trying to atm him constantly

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-24T03:28:07+00:00

Women you are neurotic silly and complain endlessly. Why laydee people why? Why laydee people are you so shallow? Am I offending you? Am I? Are you offended? Huh? Huh?

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Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2019-07-24T02:44:19+00:00

Men can think about abstract hypotheticals and space alien wars.

We can literally sit in a chair yelling at the TV “That’s not roughing then passer!” And be totally content.

In my experience women have to be doing something or distracted or their psychology eats itself.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-07-24T04:14:11+00:00

I think its a very human trait (that some people refreshingly lack, with equal gender distribution). I never noticed any connection with this behaviour and women specifically.

spirited_skeptic · 2019-07-24T05:16:20+00:00

Tony Robbins gives an interesting perspective, can't remember where in the video he explains it (about halfway?), but it does make sense. It's a pretty good video about men and women.

https://youtu.be/nfsiU3rgBr4

NewVerses · 2019-07-24T06:23:40+00:00

I find the assumption that this is may be biological a bit outlandish. I think it's how we're socialized. Men are punished if they complain while women are usually rewarded.

If I complain about something bothering me in my relationship, it's usually in the line of thought that it's better to have it all out in the open than to hold everything inside.

TheReformist94 · 2019-07-24T16:17:43+00:00

Coz they are entitled by nature

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-07-24T19:44:16+00:00

female socialization. we are conditioned to make men some sort of "work in progress" instead of dumping him.

Tomatoccino · 2019-07-25T07:12:37+00:00

Because kvetching is how some women (and some men) bond. Competition is also a bonding experience.

Title	Why does it seem women biologically need something to complain about/fix/keep in order? [SERIOUS]
Author	cracksniffer666
Upvotes	34
Comments	159
Date	July 23, 2019 11:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ch0bi6/why_does_it_seem_women_biologically_need/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-does-it-seem-women-biologically-need-something.254766 https://theredarchive.com/post/254766