For context, I’m 24F and by making this post I in no way mean to fault women for trying to make money.

Sex work, OnlyFans, sugar dating, trophy wives - all of these sex-related transactions have really been bothering me lately. My philosophy is to live and let live as long as no one is being hurt, so I don’t believe in prohibiting anyone from engaging in these activities. However, I resent that the existence of sex bargaining seems to further reinforce the perception that women’s bodies are inherently sexually charged and scandalous. It’s a double standard; men’s bodies aren’t seen as first and foremost means of sexual gratification, and I believe the significantly lower numbers of male sex workers/consumers of male sex work accounts for this.

While men casually stand out in their driveways shirtless, women’s hemlines are endlessly scrutinized.

Again, I think people should be allowed to monetize their sexuality if they so choose (and it’s safe - I know prostitution is far from safe), but this seems to perpetuate the perception that women’s bodies are sexual commodities you can purchase - or in worse cases, steal. With men, their bodies are just bodies. With women, their bodies are automatic sex scandals.

I hear people criticize women all the time for wanting to be “like men” and wanting to be independent, but this is exactly what I desire for myself. I don’t mean that I want to take testosterone and get gender reassignment surgery. I mean that I want to make my own money, learn self-defense, and in other ways take care of and provide for myself so that my body can just be a body. So that I don’t have to worry about keeping my legs clean shaven at all times and my armpits perpetually hairless. So that I don’t have to wear makeup if I don’t want to. So that I never have to get pregnant (I’m childfree). I hear people in the manosphere complain that women aren’t feminine enough, that women don’t want to have babies, that women don’t dress modestly enough, etc. The thing is, the reason I want to be independent is, in a large part, SO THAT I don’t have to be feminine, get pregnant, raise kids, and dress like Abby Shapiro (for example). I think many women seek independence SO THAT they can decide for themselves how they want to live; the reason they don’t want to be dependent on men is because they want to make their own decisions and control their own lives and bodies. In other words, they want autonomy.

Bearing children, being well-manicured, homemaking, and providing sexual gratification in exchange for money may be for some women, but it’s not for me. And there are other women in the same boat as me in this respect.

What I’d like the manosphere to consider is that perhaps the reason women want to be independent/not dependent on men is because they don’t want to trade sexual and reproductive labor in exchange for protection and provision in the first place. It’s not a bargain/transaction they seek to partake in. It seems unjustified to complain about women living independently - making their own money, protecting and providing for themselves - when by virtue of being independent, a woman is placing no burden on a man. It would be different if a woman were accepting protection and provision from a man while offering no sexual, reproductive, or domestic labor in exchange. While the manosphere unsurprisingly has an issue with women accepting protection and provision while not providing traditional female services in exchange, it also has an issue with women being financially independent and providing for themselves. It seems incredibly unjustifiable to have an issue with the latter.