Women blame men who get rejected for having bad attitudes to avoid appearing shallow

wtknight · 2021-08-10T02:12:42+00:00

Post locked as OP has been temporarily banned and can no longer defend his view.

Ok_Room1213 · 2021-08-09T17:30:25+00:00

It's just world fallacy thinking. Same reason why rich people assume poor people are just lazy. Or that if someone got laid off as part of a large re-org and is now looking for work they must have been bad at their job.

It fractures people's world view to think these things could happen to them because they're good people in their mind and bad things like that don't happen to good people.

Blaphrodite · 2021-08-10T01:51:38+00:00

Women get rejected as much as men.

Feeling sorry for yourself is not attractive. And this post is self pity.

Nobody owes anyone anything.

Men reject women for being the wrong age, wrong race, wrong weight, wrong body type —-> for your preferences.

Men get rejected for similar reasons. Everyone is shallow.

Try dating outside your own “ preferences”

mackenzie013_02 · 2021-08-09T17:27:36+00:00

I don’t know. Maybe?

For me it was always the attitude when I rejected someone. For example; I matched with a short guy on Bumble, and even before meeting he kept bringing up his height and telling me how I’ll probably reject him for it anyways, like everyone else has, and stuff like that. I ended up cancelling the date, but his height was not the issue there.

Similar things have happened with multiple men tbh - it’s a huge turnoff because it’s a never ending drain of reassurance and nothing is ever enough, to prove you’re into them.

BoogersAndSugar · 2021-08-09T23:10:17+00:00

Now that more unattractive men are wising up to the game, I wonder what's gonna happen when even polite rejections - literally ANYTHING but a "yes" response - aren't safe for women anymore. I give it another 20 years before things literally get this bad.

MrBittersweetcookie · 2021-08-09T16:54:13+00:00

I literally got rejected the other day on bumble because I had long hair. Long story short, I cut my hair soon thereafter and that same woman invited me on a date. I stated I would rather not date someone who is shallow enough to reject me because of how long my hair is. She immediately got offended and called me a prick. Yeah, eat dirt.

lavender-lesbian · 2021-08-09T18:04:20+00:00

i only blame men for being rejected when they lose their shit about being rejected

doesn’t matter if you held a door for me. it doesn’t matter if you’ve been my friend.

if “i’m gay” sets you off when you ask me out/for my number/etc then it’s automatically a personal issue

which has happened. i’m femme. i like dresses and some makeup and my hair is long-ish. i’m the whole blue eyes, blonde thing.

i’m overweight, but i carry it well. but unfortunately being overweight means some men think i have lower standards.

which i don’t. i’m just gay. so even if a dude thinks he can get w me bc i’m in his league or lower, he can’t.

it’s unfortunate bc i’m always polite about it. i never say “get out of here freak” even if that’s kind of how i feel about it.

it’s “oh i’m sorry, i’m a lesbian”

some guys lose their fucking shit about it. they absolutely go off bc “you don’t look like a lesbian” and they think i’m trying to cop out of saying they’re unattractive.

it’s a shitstorm. i feel bad for guys that get rejected constantly. i’ve been rejected. it sucks. i get it. i especially feel bad about guys who get rejected by friends, bc it’s happened to me. she’s giving me those vibes and then it turns we’re just friendship level 10000 and i feel like an idiot.

but blowing their tops at just people living their lives is not an appropriate reaction and never will be.

if you have an issue w “sorry no.” rejection, you’re gonna have an issue w “i’m gay/you’re not my type/i’m in a relationship” rejection.

half the time women don’t want the confrontation that comes w the “you aren’t my type” bc when guys lose it at “no” giving them more reasons to lose it isn’t a good idea.

not all guys are gonna lose their shit, but it happens at a rate that women have at least had to experience it once they never want it to happen again. i definitely don’t want to have to go through a man screaming at me in a parking lot ever again. ever.

Sockmonkeyaccount · 2021-08-09T17:23:38+00:00

Would guys even want a woman to say “sorry, you’re not attractive enough for me” instead of a plain “no, thank you” and not give a reason? He may be attractive enough for someone else so there’s no reason to say he’s unattractive period. That would just seem like being mean for the sake of it.

Now., in a case where a man gives a woman a bad attitude, her commenting on it is not meant as a helpful tip for the next time he asks someone out. So, again, there’s still no reason to “confront” the real reason she wasn’t initially not attracted because she doesn’t owe an explanation anyway. Whether it’s true she might have been attracted otherwise or she’s just pretending, the reason to tell him she would have is to make him regret giving her a bad attitude. This is meant to show him the error of his ways, wether she means that be helpful or she’s just being punitive.

TLDR: she’s not obligated to tell him the real reason to begin with either way, and most likely just wants to get back at him for being a jerk about it.

Unless it’s a case where he’s not being a jerk and then she might mean it to be helpful and there’s no point in dwelling on things that can’t be changed.

Edit: In neither scenario does worrying about how she appears even factor in.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-08-09T17:59:06+00:00

So you admit that being rejected creates insecurity, but that women can't genuinely reject a man for being insecure...? What am I missing?

Luna320 · 2021-08-09T17:19:28+00:00

If your looking for a relationship why would you accept from someone who you don’t enjoy their personality? Even if they are attractive the relationship probably wouldn’t be the best. I’d honestly say it’s pretty silly to base accepting relationships just on appearance. This is someone you want to spend time with, why not enjoy it?

Ihateregistering6 · 2021-08-09T17:44:23+00:00

I agree somewhat with your overall premise, but I think you're oversimplifying this part: "Why am I getting rejected? Is there something wrong with me?", because you're basically skipping over what the man chooses to do after that point.

Yes, there are things that he cannot control, but there are things he can. If he's getting rejected continuously and he's overweight, well he can improve that. Wears ratty clothes? Can improve that. All his pictures are terrible? He can improve that.

That all being said, I 100% agree with you a lot of women do dismiss guys who are having issues dating and try to make it seem like they couldn't possibly be getting rejected for something they can't control, they just don't have the right attitude (or whatever). So they'll tell the guy who is 5'3 that his height isn't hurting him, it's because he's not confident about being short! You're ugly? "Well that doesn't matter, look at (insert famous male celebrity who is ugly but also rich and famous), and he's dating (insert hot female celebrity)!"

And FWIW, this isn't just women. Men will reject women but not be 100% honest about why they're rejecting them in order to spare their feelings.

dxfifa · 2021-08-09T20:56:42+00:00

Not sure i fully agree, it may be a chicken and egg thing, and women are often more straight up these days with ugly dudes.

However 99% of women handle rejection with a worse attitude than all but the most messed up guys AND men coddle women more to try to not trigger their insecure asses so it is a little rich for women to shame insecure men. Hardly any men shame women because they think they have a chance when they don't with him. Ladies often do that to men

CatchPhraze · 2021-08-09T17:56:47+00:00

Why? Why do i owe the person a reason at all? "im not interested, sorry" should be enough. He doesn't need to pry for a reason, any reason is a non-starter so its irrelevant. You don't need the rejection of a woman to get that you should be trying to improve yourself. If you are truely clueless about your issues, your peers/friends would be the best bet, not putting rando's on the spot.

The fact some men don't understand those simple things is a glaring point that their low social IQ is probably one of the factors.

SaBahRub · 2021-08-09T18:00:03+00:00

Why wouldn’t we blame the person throwing the tantrum for their own actions?

popnloq · 2021-08-10T01:27:08+00:00

Who cares what reason you are given? The person doesn’t like you for one reason or another. Life is full of people sugar coating or bullshitting in a way that saves face. You really want to be tarred and feathered? So you can spiral even further?

Move on to the next person.

catfishchapter · 2021-08-09T18:55:03+00:00

OP please clarify:

Are you talking about WOMEN who give advice to men (friends, family, etc) who got rejected ?

Or

WOMEN who are actively rejecting the man ?

ddouchecanoe · 2021-08-10T00:02:02+00:00

I don't think I have given many men a reason for rejecting them. I just tell them I am not interested.

I've never been compelled to give them a reason for disinterest. It has never seemed constructive and it's not really any of their business anyway.

Although I am not someone who brings up their boyfriend as an out when I am not interested, I have communicated something along the lines of "If I were not already elbows deep in a life with someone else, I would probably take you up on your offer," (to buy me a coffee or get my number, ect.) when I have had chemistry with someone. I do this because I don't want to needlessly make someone feel like they misread things or question their instincts.

I have been guilty of introducing a guy that's tryin' to get it to my boyfriend in a public place like a show or party or something. I have also casually brought up my boyfriend to try deterring guys who I have mutual friends with if they seem interested right off the bat.

LetsDelveIntoIt1 · 2021-08-09T17:10:14+00:00

This is too reductive a stance to take. Firstly, it's not always physical appearance that leads to rejection early on; it can be an attractive guy who has BO, or an attractive guy who is rude to the waitstaff, an attractive guy who is a clumsy eater or talks loudly or who chews with his mouth open, etc etc.

Secondly, women who are turned off by the physical appearance but say it's attitude or personality may be lying, not to appear less shallow, but to spare the guy's feelings. It hurts to be told you're ugly, so I really wouldn't feel good telling someone that. Or, the women could feel threatened by angering the guy by calling him unattractive, so they may give a different reason to prevent angering the guy (potentially).

Luna320 · 2021-08-09T19:12:22+00:00

You can’t talk about women concealing their reasons for rejecting a man without talking about the men who freak out or get violent when they are rejected. It’s not always the reason but it is connected. Usually it’s the truth, easy let down because people don’t like being called out on their appearance or because they are worried about the outcome. Can’t think of any other reason. Add some if you want.

Platinirism · 2021-08-09T17:05:29+00:00

That’s where the famous “He was just being nice to get into my pants” line comes from.

He was rejected for being ugly/short, but saying you rejected him for being ugly/short is shallow, so you make something up so it sounds like he was a bad person.

aquamanouttawater · 2021-08-09T21:19:51+00:00

I feel like women would be more understanding and less critical of men’s reactions to rejection if they had to experience as many rejections as they expect men to put up with.

superlurkage · 2021-08-09T17:12:00+00:00

r/niceguys @byefelipe and whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com beg to differ

tropicsGold · 2021-08-09T20:31:48+00:00

I have to agree with the women on this one. There are a huge number of toxic guys out there who have such huge personality problems his physical issues are never even an issue. While a guy might also be rejected for his looks too, there is such a huge diversity of opinion on looks, even ugly guys can find a woman who finds them attractive, or at least acceptable. But once the guy adopts a defeatist toxic attitude, it becomes the primary issue. And there is just no saving most men from themselves. I have tried, you just can’t talk reason to them. Come on dude, look around at all of the short, fat, ugly guys out there with girlfriends. Wives and children even. Where do you think the ugly children come from? All of come from sexually successful fathers, who are just as short fat and ugly as we are. Change that terrible defeatist attitude.

Neither_Works · 2021-08-09T22:16:10+00:00

If these guys are insecure/have bad attitudes because they're unattractive, why would telling them they're unattractive make things better?

AggroWeasel · 2021-08-09T23:30:45+00:00

This take is correct. Rejection almost always comes down to physical appearance.

I mean, yeah, you can’t have horrible body odor or horrendous people skills, but if a woman won’t even get a cup of coffee with you, it’s usually because she thinks you’re ugly.

catfishchapter · 2021-08-09T17:08:23+00:00

Let's cut this short.

What do you want from women to help men accept rejection better?

Do you want women to tell men they are rejecting that they are ugly asfuck and would never date them?

Women attraction is not a monolith.

So even if a man does not reach the "baseline" of attraction it does not mean he will not be the baseline of attraction to another women. In that case, women telling men to not give up is actually pretty encouraging for him to continue working on himself and keep on trying and not stay in the realms of insecurity and saddeness.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-08-09T17:59:32+00:00

Let’s be honest guys, there are a lot of fragile egos among us and some guy after a couple of drinks would never, ever react well to a woman saying “sorry look, you seem nice but I like guys taller / who more hair / with better teeth” whatever.

Nobody is going to do that. Man or woman.

BUT, IMO the real problem becomes the more abstract and insidious climate of dishonesty you see here on PPD and with society in general.

The lie that is perpetuated is that women are by nature not nearly as shallow as men, that women will find you attractive if you’re a “truly” good man, etc etc.

Women here on PPD perpetuate this shit with useless anecdotes of them dating that short guy one time or knowing some “ugly loser” who slayed with women.

The fact that even on an anonymous forum women can’t find it in themselves to say “look, I will fuck a tall hot famous guy because my pussy is getting wet when I look at him. I really don’t care that much about his personality” is illustrative of the real problem:

Women cannot, in any context, admit to being as shitty, shallow or simple as men, when we all know they are.

And then you have a generation of boys growing up in a culture that literally deifies the feminine while demonizing masculine when they are too young to see through the lies yet.

On top of that, society will jump on any man attempting to explain reality to these boys by calling them misogynists leaving them completely to their own devices.

And then you wonder why you get a generation of sexually confused and failing young men?

Sid_Insidious · 2021-08-09T20:51:00+00:00

No automod yet. but....

It's the same thing when women say they don't leave a man because he lost his job.

"I didn't leave him because he lost his job - I left because of how he changed when he lost his job."

LOLOLOL RIIIIIIGHT.

Perhaps 100 miles closer to the truth is.

"I cut off from him emotionally (inexplicably, and automatically) after he lost his job, he sensed it and became aware that my love for him is conditional and based on him having money, and THAT caused a change in his behavior and attitude, which of course I didn't like. But now I had the reason I needed to leave that jobless loser with a clear conscience. Not because I am the human embodiment of a common parasite, but because of how he changed into an insufferable person after he lost his job."

Ah, there it is. The shocking, draw-dropping mental gymnastics of the human female.

nemporisso · 2021-08-09T19:28:50+00:00

No automod?

That happens, and it makes sense intuitively. The concept of asking somebody out is based on finding a stranger or distant acquaintance that you want to develop a connection with. You aren't going to know much about their attitude unless they are a notoriously vile POS, which is thankfully an extreme minority of people.

Thankfully, it's also an extreme minority of cases where people are actually brazen enough to use this as an excuse.

pubgmisc · 2021-08-09T21:13:58+00:00

Women in general never want to be wrong, or 'lose, or whatever, so they'll so anything to appear bad, or shallow, or whatever

Odd_Thing_6365 · 2021-08-09T21:14:14+00:00

I see a lot of dudes who also blame it on themselves...

CFinCanada · 2021-08-10T01:25:47+00:00

This is an especially stupid charge to make in the age of tinder. Oftentimes nowadays the woman has already right-swiped on the guy and vetted him as attractive enough and it is literally his attitude that gets him unmatched.

midwestufohunter · 2021-08-09T16:54:59+00:00

Men also do this with calling women "hysterical" or "crazy".

This is not a gendered issue.

2021-08-09T17:25:37+00:00

My favorite type of FDS thread is the one where they all bash short men and claim heightism isn’t real, and all of them just parrot each other saying it’s the insecurity that bothers them. Then a lot of their comments end with something like “Now I am tall guys only. Sorry shorties, you played yourselves!”

Like, yeah Becky, because you definitely hadn’t already made that decision. They’re delusional.

TakeThePinkPill · 2021-08-09T17:43:44+00:00

Men demand the lie so they expect women to not be shallow out loud. Women adapting to this mandate doesn't mean there is shame about being shallow. This "bad dog" syndrome is a tool to control men, not women. It's simply easier to let men kid themselves

Women blame rejected men because rejected men earned their reputation for legendary butthurt regardless of the rejection. From throwing acid in the face, to rape, to mass murder as the big ones, to organized pranks, going out of their way to humiliate, to actually hitting women in the street and on camera when rejected to histrionic walls of hate text and stalking to the point that a popular sub on Reddit (nice guys) never runs out of material.

Why in the actual hell would women give a shit about not seeming shallow ESPECIALLY on Reddit where it's free dopamine to pink pill a smug af red piller about real life? Male beauty is something to celebrate. Those who have it are the ones both men and women admire and want to replicate. Beautiful babies everywhere. You think this is something to be ashamed of?

Sir.

sumilia · 2021-08-09T19:31:46+00:00

The reason why anyone is rejected is irrelevant. No one owes anyone an explanation for why they're not interested.

Women don't need to tell you "reasons" they're rejecting you. If you corner someone and insist on asking why, of course they're going to say the most benign thing, soften the blow, and get themselves out of an uncomfortable situation.

Usually it's not about you, it's about THEM. Man or woman.

You're not lacking. You're worthy. You're just not a match for this one person. Pick yourself up and move on.

If a guy isn't into me because I'm overweight, great, I'll find someone who's into me regardless. He could also not be into me for a myriad different reasons.. he could be more adventurous and knows I'm a homebody.. maybe he wants to wait to have kids and I don't.. maybe he's intimidated by my career.. maybe he's already interested in someone else.. maybe he thinks my ethnic background won't work for his family and doesn't want to tell me.. maybe he finds my spending habits frivolous.. there could be a million and one reasons someone rejects you.

Honestly it's not even your business because it's just that person's perspective and who cares the reason they reject you when they're not your person. Don't think about it and just move on to the next.

You should worry less about being worthy to other people, and instead ask if the other person is worthy of you.

ffandyy · 2021-08-10T00:28:17+00:00

Men do the exact same thing, I know I’ve turned down my share of women that I wasn’t attracted to, it just seems nicer to say you weren’t feeling the right vibe than to say sorry I’m not interested because your ugly, maybe that’s just me

JumboJetz · 2021-08-09T16:46:18+00:00

When women complain about bad attitudes in men they reject, they usually are talking about men who swear at them and threaten them, call them a bitch and a whore, after being rejected.

If men’s response to being rejected was always just silence or “OK then”, women would have no reason to complain.

KickKathleeenKennedy · 2021-08-09T17:02:29+00:00

Hmm, if a guy wanted me to be completely honest on why I rejected them I would- thing is most insecure men handle the truth. I dated last year a 5”6, 35 year old who weighed 145lbs. I’m 25 and 5”5. That already made him insecure. We had sex twice and it sucked. He would lie in bed, clench his fists, and turn into a vegetable. Really it looked quite strange. The first time this happened, I told him how much of a turn off it was/ he said he would stop. We had sex a couple of days later- he did it again, and honestly I just couldn’t have sex with him anymore. It really turned me off… so anyway, he also called me fat during the relationship. So when I broke up with him- he began to cry and get mad at me despite also being miserable during the relationship!

Now I guess I could’ve added that hey I think you’re ugly (he had chipmunk cheeks) and bad at sex but why put salt on a wound? I told him we were breaking up because we are both miserable. I wasn’t giving him the sex he wanted and he called me fat (said he was used to dating petite girls). If that made him guy- how could I say anything else? He was unpleasant about The Whole thing and had a bad attitude

Jaylen-Gads · 2021-08-09T16:53:25+00:00

As a man, from what I've seen the only time men act out badly or get hostile and aggressive is when he feels like he is being lied to about why he is being rejected. Again I don't speak for all men but is usually the only time I've seen men lash out like that.

Asopaso07 · 2021-08-09T17:30:03+00:00

Have you looked at plastic surgery statistics and things like eating disorders? Go and read up on it and then come and tell us which sex is under most physical scrutiny and pressure.

Boo hoo, women like men to be taller than them and not morbidly obese. Try being a woman and being criticised for everything starting from chest size to waist line to ass to hips to how tight your hole is or how you should shave every hair on your body or you’re “disgusting”.

Men need to seriously stfu about women having 1 or 2 preferences. It makes you sound rapey. You’re not entitled to sex. If you stopped whining and bleating on about it, we would be more confident to be honest about finding you unattractive.

Fleischpeitsch · 2021-08-09T18:49:27+00:00

Hypergamy is just an excuse TRPers use to blame women for having high standards instead of accepting that they are on the very bottom of the barrel

In reality looks don't matter much to women and everyone knows some guys that are below average in looks, but cool, fun to be around and confident, and that don't have problems getting women.

Also, most of the time the guys that complain that females are only attracted to Chad come off as extremely off even through the internet so they must be even weirder irl

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-08-09T19:18:18+00:00

Nah maybe sometimes but certainly not always, I’ve had guys approach me (mostly online) who I wouldn’t have rejected for their appearance, except that they were weirdly passive-aggressive in their approach. I didn’t find these men ugly. Not going to lie and say looks don’t matter because we all know they do. But how a guy acts matters too. Two guys who are objective 5s can come off very different and have women respond very differently. There is just no reason to be aggressive or insecure or rude in your approach, that’s just shooting yourself in the foot.

orangeman2550 · 2021-08-09T20:05:20+00:00

Cliff note: if you are good looking enough based upon the scale of the woman she will overlook a lot of red flags...if not she will make a convenient excuse to exit. I’ve overlooked red flags due to attraction knowing those red flags may later be an issue.

ImperadorPenedo · 2021-08-09T20:08:47+00:00

Well, you know i used to be like this. Until one day my crush rejected my romantic advances. I apologized, understood her decision and moved on. Then I realized that this isn’t the end. I just need to improve myself more. So I went to sports, went out with friends every time they asked, etc… then I started to listen to their advice more ( they said that if I wanted to look better I should:

use caps
buy AirForce
Learn how to dance Etc…

Right now I’m working to improve myself! Do this too, be confident, and trust me you will sucessed.

Gilmoregirlin · 2021-08-09T20:12:26+00:00

I correctly understood exactly what you were saying, but I think people responded the way they did because they were thinking "who cares?" Like what's the point, so what, why does it matter? People reject others due to looks all the time, men and women. But I should mention that when I did online dating I absolutely did reject men that I would have otherwise dated just based on looks alone due to their personality, specifically their attitudes. So I am not sure where you come to this conclusion from.

EfficientComputer5 · 2021-08-09T23:57:57+00:00

Ha, you're post is misunderstood by idiots. That's what happens when you put faith in imbeciles.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-08-09T18:10:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

middeko · 2021-08-09T19:33:52+00:00

What you posted here is 100% correct. The day women admit, or it is made shockingly crystal clear to men that all women care about is looks...then society as we know it will crumble. This is why the lie of the “visual male” has to keep going. Remember they blame men for everything which they themselves are guilty of. FACT.

idrinkapplejuice42 · 2021-08-09T21:29:57+00:00

Women do so much gaslighting. If I mention my dating frustrations to any woman I get told "it's probably because you're whining, and you don't act confident and complain too much etc". Like no I'm confident and upbeat with the women I approach.

SilverBit8786 · 2021-08-09T22:19:46+00:00

Why does the reason for rejection matter? One should learn how to roll with the punches and deal with rejection in a healthy way, regardless of the supposed reason. I’ve had to reject people and I’ve never come out and said, “sorry you’re ugly, not happening” or anything like that. And it’s usually not the reason, or the only one anyway. A lot of guys have intolerable personalities. Whether it’s due to their insecurities is no ones problem but their own.

AntifaSuperSwoledier · 2021-08-09T17:16:09+00:00

Halo effect is real - you're probably perceived as less interesting / bad personality just by being less attractive.

That said, r/NiceGuys and other subreddits are full of men who get politely declined and then lose their minds. Do you think women can't pick up on subtle hints that someone is an unstable loser apart from their looks? Vibes are real. Humans pick up on subtle clues in behavior when people are threatening or otherwise off.

Being ugly probably has something to do with it, but given that 99% of the manosphere who complain about this really do end up having bad personalities I don't think it's an ego-saving move for women to say you had a bad personality. Nothing about being ugly and having a bad personality is mutually exclusive.

Related to that, do you think we should normalize telling people their poor looks are the reason they are being rejected? Will that make low value dudes cry less about being rejected? I kind of doubt it.

Reminder I posted a large meta analyses or review recently on mate selection. Personality accounted for like half of the variance in mate choice selection. Personality is a very real factor in who people pick and reject as mates.

ameleahj · 2021-08-09T18:21:55+00:00

No. First reason is usually a woman is not interested in you or someone at that time. All women aren't available to date then shut their doors when you walk by, sometimes women just don't want to date?. It usually has nothing to do with your face at all, they just aren't interested in being with you. Then, usually, the second thing is they're rejecting you for the way you approached them. I'm not going to date the man that comes up to me while I'm sitting taking in a moment of peace or catching the bus to work. Incels just want it to be out of their control so they don't have to work on themselves, it's easier for them to say "wah you hate my face I have no chance" Truth is, ugly fat broke men have partner's all of the time and are able to chat with and have sex with women because they're not whiney wretched humans, heck, I even lost my virginity to a heavily overweight boy in my school, because he was such a nice decent person I wanted him to be my boyfriend. No, we don't want to date the fool that see's us in tights and assumes we want to chat. Literally no one cares about your face when your decent, that's the thing. Work on yourself and your personality and stop whining that the girl at the checkout doesn't want to give you her number

Master-Edward-3 · 2021-08-09T21:23:46+00:00

Yes it’s easier for them to not look like a shallow villain to point the finger of the matter at the man for the woman can do nothing wrong is the general feeling and political correct viewpoint.

You can have an saint pure of heart man and if he’s a bit short, some acne, patterned bald 👨🏽‍🦲 or overweight many women maybe not all would attempt to conceal that behind the guy having a shit character or belief system.

Often times they fail to get to know such a man anyhow and they could never really know his personality anyhow for if that man in question initiated conversation he’d get the infamous one word replies and basically ignored most of the interaction yet HE’S the person with the shit personality when it’s really projection. The woman isn’t being kind to the man based on his appearance and therefore she had the rotten ways of thought.

VanderLinde6000 · 2021-08-09T16:32:29+00:00

As long as you're not deformed or severely handicapped, attitude always trumps looks for men. And for women it's the other way around. Men usually use the looks-department as a get out of jail free card to rationalize their failure with women. I could have girls, but(!) - my jawline is not aesthetically centered! What can you do, right?

Put a desperate, awkward, attractive guy and a genuinely confident, bad, but chubby guy in a venue and see who pulls more women.

bleb_ploleman · 2021-08-09T16:41:12+00:00

He developed a victim mindset. Work on yourself. People can reject people for whatever they want. If he’s feeling like a victim and became a crabby patty because of it, why would someone want to date him? It’s not their job to fix his attitude regardless of the cause. It’s not women’s jobs to make sure men feel good about themselves.

NICHIJOU2411 · 2021-08-09T18:24:27+00:00

Could be solved if women started asking guys out so they won’t have to deal with a man freaking out on them.

deviantkink · 2021-08-09T18:53:30+00:00

The thing is, even though men's physical appearance standards are higher on social media/dating apps, in real life they aren't.

I see average guys pulling chicks at bars, clubs, through friend circles, etc. Sure, it might not be the exact caliber of woman you want, but the opportunity is there.

And any guy who works out and has style in regards to clothing is already doing better than most. Charismatic average guys get laid often.

PrincessaRusalka · 2021-08-09T16:50:51+00:00

I can smell the feminists...

*sniff sniff* misandry...

FuckinCreepy · 2021-08-09T16:36:18+00:00

IDK. Think of books, tv, and entertainment. A lot of badass guys are ugly. Like Rick Sanchez. Balding & old. Still sexy because unlimited power due to his high IQ.

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badsign12 · 2021-08-09T18:39:27+00:00

Sometimes it is just world fallacy speaking. Some of us will say that sure, some people can do everything within their control to improve their odds but still not find someone, but we'd prefer to think, myself included, that they're not really doing everything. And if they did well then.....

And then there's the chicken and the egg deal. I don't believe it explains pathological toxicity, but life experience can turn a pretty ok person into someone who's not much fun. The good news is that person can change that and they ought to put their efforts into that change. But if the person before me today who is no threat to anyone except perhaps himself can't get a date, it's entirely possible that today's reason, he's no fun, wasn't the reason a year ago. Getting back to happy and more socially functional might only take him back to the long odds he faced last year. He'll be happier there, but not really more likely to get a date unless he makes other changes. Things that make him more attractive physically or otherwise. And if there's not a lot he can really change, we're back my first paragraph.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-08-09T20:14:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Puttix · 2021-08-10T00:42:59+00:00

CMV

Hard to do that when you are 100% correct. I think you have done a fine job of articulating what we all know to be true. I as a male do this all the time with women. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If anything it helps to be honest. If women found me unattractive or not attractive enough for them, I would like to know so that I know what I need to improve on.

Title	Women blame men who get rejected for having bad attitudes to avoid appearing shallow
Author	TheBookOfSeil
Upvotes	247
Comments	493
Date	August 9, 2021 4:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/p14tde/women_blame_men_who_get_rejected_for_having_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-blame-men-who-get-rejected-for-having-bad.849726 https://theredarchive.com/post/849726