women dont want to settle down and have kids anymore

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-10-15T11:41:47+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2022-10-15T07:13:04+00:00

And now add the cost of living, slim chances of owning property, general uncertainty in a future and you'll have a lot of women who would like to have kids, but can't afford to do it in the group as well.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-10-15T06:46:26+00:00

I think these are valid ideas to consider, but we need to put them in a wider perspective. We often blame women for the birthrate, but do modern men really want that many more kids? From what I have seen, the average number of children men desire isn't much higher than what women do. If I Have this wrong, I'd appreciate anyone pointing that out.

So I think that both genders are more focused on fun, dopamine-driven, hedonistic pleasures. Kids and family are boring. That may be the most important driver of the lower birthrate, for both genders, with some woman-specific issues accounting for the slightly lower female desire for kids.

Noodles_R · 2022-10-15T06:47:32+00:00

I think staying childfree has just become a more acceptable option now, so we’re seeing more of it.

About half of my female friends don’t want children and neither do I.

Life can be fulfilling without. All the time, social relationships, money, to use how you wish. And as you say, none of the health issues.

It puts women in an incredibly vulnerable position., like with the pregnancy cheating starts you mentioned. Many women are also unable to have sex after birth for a year or more if there is traumatic tearing etc. according to men here, that would be a dead bedroom and a death sentence for a marriage and you can’t do anything about it.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-10-15T07:30:24+00:00

I'm not convinced that women don't want to have kids and settle down. Pregnancy and its effects are nothing new. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time. Statistically, less women are having children in the US, so certainly there are more women that don't want kids, but you failed to mention what is in my opinion the single biggest reason for why less women are having kids: income inequality and cost of living.

Wages have stagnated while the cost of living has sky rocketed over the last few decades. People are moving out of their parents house later, saddled with student loans, needing 2 incomes to maintain a decent life style.

It's pretty damn difficult to settle down and have kids when the "american dream" of owning a fairly nice house in a good neighborhood with 2 kids has become exceptionally more difficult. Life is expensive. And having kids is expensive as hell.

EBZ1722 · 2022-10-15T07:51:04+00:00

Women's participation in the workforce is the most directly attributable factor in nosediving birth rates. Consumerism has convinced women that money, career status, and material shit is more meaningful than family and children.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-15T07:36:10+00:00

It's true. Having childern is ,or was at least away to invest. keeping a family intact generations ago because the man was the finacial provider. Gave him purpose. Not so much anymore.
Woman don't have to have childern to feel invested. They can invest in themselves. Securing their own finacial futures.

renfsu · 2022-10-15T10:12:10+00:00

I agree women don't want kids but I don't think this is a leading reason why they aren't interested in relationships. That reason is because women can usually get almost all of the benefits of a relationship without ever being in one. There's usually always someone to have sex with, cuddle with, complain or vent to, do activities with, and pretty much any relationship things you can think of, either through fwb or friends. There's no need for commitment or being cheated on.

The more boring answer is also economics, can't squeeze the population out of all their money for it to trickle up and expect them to start expensive families.

Bunny_and_chickens · 2022-10-15T11:02:14+00:00

You forgot that pregnancy also leaches calcium from your body, causing tooth loss

2022-10-15T08:01:00+00:00

I think you are right - and studies show that this is strongly correlated with better education and career prospects for women in society, as well as economic development of the country; more developed and equal nations are generally having less kids.

But this is a problem, especially concerning the ageing population crisis. Also, as boomers' lifespans approach their ends (boomers being the richest generation in all of human history), the greatest transfer of wealth in human history is about to occur, mostly to a smaller group of younger people; we will have quite the unequal future, at this rate. Also a lot of little emperors, just like as seen in China with their one child policy.

Mass immigration is primarily allowed and encouraged because people are not having enough kids, yet we need labor to keep our economies afloat. While I am pro-immigration, I wouldn't say that the huge scale of this is a sustainable thing for either our countries or for the countries that these able bodied and economically productive people are depleted from en-masse.

Economies can survive on immigration alone, but for example if we want our languages and cultures to survive in the future, we need new generations to continue these on. Experts believe that a great deal of the world's languages will go extinct by the end of this century.

While many women may be increasingly putting their careers first and not wanting to ever have kids, I find this to be a tragedy.

Despite all of the issues that you have mentioned, surrounding childbirth, plenty of women still choose to conceive one child and seem to do fine in their marriages and careers afterwards. Women of the past had many more children on average and seemed overall content for their time. Women continue to live longer than men, on average.

Creation_Soul · 2022-10-15T09:16:52+00:00

My personal theory is that, in the past we really didn't have much information about how many children people actually wanted. People wanted sex and without birth control, that resulted in children.

Basically people desire sex way more than children, and by somewhat controlling the link between having sex and having children, we are seeing a decrease in number of children. Hell, even in Africa, the continent with the largest fertility, that has decreased in the last 50 years from 6.7 to 4.4.

Then there is the instinct/itch to have children. But that itch is pretty much scratched after 1-2 children for most people, thus resulting in a fertility rate between 1-2 in most developed countries.

handsanitizer-- · 2022-10-15T06:58:42+00:00

I don't want kids cuz waking up early, taking them to school, picking them up and helping them with homework/projects/study for tests doesn't sound fun. If I ever had kids I'd ship them off to boarding school when they're 10 so I can be done with parenting sooner.

Physical_Software_29 · 2022-10-15T07:08:21+00:00

Food for though, hitting your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s without kids ?

kinhk · 2022-10-15T07:11:09+00:00

Women absolutely want to have kids lol. The only chicks I've met who say they don't are in there early twenties. You'd be a fool to think that someone is gonna maintain their beliefs they had in there twenties when they reach their 30s and 40s.

AreOut · 2022-10-15T07:26:36+00:00

women not wanting children is not the problem per se(it's their life and their decision), the problem is they are programmed by media to not want them and women are very susceptible to propaganda

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-10-15T07:06:32+00:00

Thankfully, not my woman.

If she wanted to stay child-free, I wouldn't be engaged to her.

Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-10-15T07:50:42+00:00

Pregnancy takes a physical toll. Other than that, the dad goes through as much as the mom in my honest opinion. The mom can just give her kid up for adoption if she really wanted to.

I’m going to have to disagree with a lot of the things you said (other than the physical stuff).

therealcosmicnebula · 2022-10-15T07:02:21+00:00

Fuck having kids. People only ever had them to give meaning to their hum drum boring lives. Now we have so much more to entertain us.

Life can be very enjoyable without children.

But historically having kids gave people something to do. Something to live for. Something to be proud of.

In 2022 you can now be proud of your cultivated Instagram feed.

So 🤷‍♀️

spinky_bum9451 · 2022-10-15T07:04:18+00:00

I'm personally really excited to see where women's choices take western society in the next 50 years. We already have half man half woman aboninations popping up everywhere thanks to women. Wonder what else is in store.

ThorLives · 2022-10-15T07:47:16+00:00

And 1/10 men cheat on there partners when shes pregnant. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7074242/ I think this statistic highlights the fact that men are not grateful of a women's sacrifice to carry their child.

Where in that paper does it say anything about the rate of cheating?

Jim_sell · 2022-10-15T10:23:08+00:00

I can't believe that a grown woman wrote this. It has to be the saddest and most self centered generation who rather than experience a mild amount of discomfort in exchange for the most meaningful and worthwhile experience in all of the life that we live will lie to themselves and others.

Either this is the product of spending too much time reading of other forever alone women or propaganda to trick women into living empty, lonely lives only to enjoy hedonistic consumerism while sitting on the sidelines.

Every woman in human history was capable of being a mother but modern women are so mentally fragile that they can't handle it. Lol.

h1shman · 2022-10-15T06:38:28+00:00

Disagree just based on the number of women that blatantly lied about being on BC to me. Disagree as I have ended things with multiple women who said they want kids.

Data should be cross referenced with life experience and they don’t correlate with your numbers. Having children is likely a similar urge to women as fucking multiple women is for men.

The only argument that’s fair is women have enough independence that being single is better than taking care of a low value man and a household

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Transmigratory · 2022-10-15T08:40:38+00:00

In your universe, sure

Da_Famous_Anus · 2022-10-15T08:41:30+00:00

Water is also known as H2O.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-10-15T09:08:52+00:00

Some of us still want to

Some of our husbands still want us after childbirth Hey some of us still also want our husbands when they start loosing their hair and get wrinkles

purplish_possum · 2022-10-15T10:43:58+00:00

Good fucking god! Having a kid isn't that traumatic. My baby mamas bounced back from childbirth just fine.

JoeRMD77 · 2022-10-15T10:57:23+00:00

White women are becoming pretty useless. Yeah, we know.

mcouve · 2022-10-15T11:03:05+00:00

Protip: If you read the list of side effects on Aspirin or other common med, you will also see a huge list of scary stuff like the one you listed here. Yet you all are eating pills like its nothing.

People spend too much time in the internet and lose their connection with the real world. Talk with any women who is pregnant or was pregnant recently and show them this list, ask how many of those things apply to their situation.

Regarding men attraction, again, same shit, too much time in the internet, your neurons are already fried and can't process things. When men that are serious about relationship say about youth being attractive it means they want to start a relationship with someone young and attractive and then make a live together with that person, growing up side by side.

People refuse to understand to starting a life together at 40s or whatever its the new fad would look completely ridiculous to someone from early generations. If we assume that most energy and health only lasts until 60s and then its mostly a long wind down to being a corpse, whats the point of partnering up so late in the game?

gladusgates · 2022-10-15T11:32:50+00:00

I disagree, most women do still want to settle down and have kids. Don't fall for the booby trap, the women who say they don't want that 8/10 times have simply run out of time and need to rationalise it lest they are driven completely insane by the realisation that they will never have a family.

oldcamembert · 2022-10-15T11:35:27+00:00

I don't think it is that they don't want to settle down. I am mentoring / managing a lot of young women in their late 20s / early 30s at work, and quite a good % of them actually want a family and children, but are estimating realistically the risks involved too. It costs nothing for their husbands to leave them and start all again, paying pennies in official child support, and the life of a single mother is not a bed of roses even for highly paid professional women. I think the prevailing attitude is that they will have children only if they are absolutely sure of affording a good standard of life for them and their child / children without any reliance on a man. In the world of skyrocketing property prices, student debt and stagnating wages I think this time for the majority of women comes in their late 30s - early 40s.

Title	women dont want to settle down and have kids anymore
Author	Illustrious-Line-996
Upvotes	50
Comments	230
Date	October 15, 2022 6:33 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y4gmer/women_dont_want_to_settle_down_and_have_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-dont-want-to-settle-down-and-have-kids.1135597 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135597