There is perhaps no bigger double standard in dating than the women way discuss men's preferences in contrast to the way they discuss women's preferences. Anytime anyone criticizes a woman's standards or preferences, a flock of people race to say something along the lines of "She can have whatever standards she wants. That's none of your business People are attracted to what they are attracted." Here are a few examples of double standards in dating preferences :

Promiscuity - One of the core tenets of modern day feminism is preaching a lack of accountability. Women try to normalize promiscuity by using textbook shaming tactics: A woman's past is none of your business. You're just insecure. She's a changed woman. You're just a misogynistic incel. This has gotten so extreme to the point that even men who have very conservative values in regards of intimacy are still shamed for wanting a woman who also shares those values. (Some) women perpetuate the notion that it's acceptable to lie or withhold your history as well, which is pretty immature and gross to me. If you're going to share a life with someone, you should be entirely honest with them. A lot of women would not date a bi man, and I never see any woman suggest that those men should lie about their sexual orientation or past. If someone had a past history of cheating, wouldn't you want to know that as well? And in terms of inconsistency with different men, women expect men to be okay with their girlfriend having one night stands with random guys and then making them wait several months for sex.

Here is an example from a thread I linked a few months ago in a thread a few months age, in which a guy who's gf made him wait 1 month to kiss and 3 months to have vanilla sex, had not so long ago had a threesome with a total stranger at a frat party. Here are some of the comments from the original thread, and my thread on ppd talking about it:

He sounds fairly immature. How can he not see that she wasn't actually looking for a relationship with the threesome people whereas she actually IS looking for a relationship with him, which is why she wanted to wait before jumping into sex. It's super clear cut.

She fucked a dude she barely knew because she didn’t want him for anything but sex. She’s probably careful and patient with you because she wants you for more than just sex and doesn’t want to rush it or mess it up.

Get over yourself. You’re not dating the college girl that got hammered and frisky at a frat party. You’re dating the adult woman she’s become. People change, it’s part of growing up.

You’re a misogynist…. Stop being mad it has nothing to do with you. And quite honestly is none of your business

Having hooked up at one time does not obligate you to instantly bust it open on every first date following the hookup.

bc he’s being a pussy. he’s mad bc his girlfriend wanted to make sure he wasn’t just using her for sex. if he wanted a threesome he should be with someone who wants a fucking threesome. when will men stop acting so fucking entitled. If your goal is only to have kinky sex or try to sleep with someone before so many dates u need help.

Lastly, here is a bonus example of a woman unknowingly describing the AF/BB phenomenon:

Lastly, it could be that she has different rules for “this is a no-strings-attached encounter and I’ll never see you again” and “I really like you and would like to potentially date you.” That’s been the case for me in the past. When I was in “ho” mode, it didn’t matter, but if it was someone I wanted to stick around, I would wait to have sex with them for at least a month or two.

Age - Women shame men for being attracted to, and wanting to date, young attractive women. Simultaneously while calling the concept of "the wall" misogynistic and arguing that older women aren't really all that old, women try to paint any guy 30+ as some sort of creepy old predatory man. And notice that you virtually never see anyone call a milf or a cougar predatory for going after younger men? If we were just talking about like 40 year olds going for 18 year old girls I wouldn't even be talking about this. The issue is that it's gotten to a point where women are making comments like these are being implying a 30 year old man dating a 25 year old woman is predatory for even minor five year age gaps. This thread got 200+ upvotes and lists parameters that include 30 and 23...I thought 30 wasn't old, so which is it? News flash: brain development implicated in decision making, impulse control, and weighing short term pleasure and long term goals is largely complete by a person's mid 20s.

Evidence suggests that, in the prefrontal cortex, this does not occur until the early 20s or later [15,16]. The prefrontal cortex coordinates higher-order cognitive processes and executive functioning. Executive functions are a set of supervisory cognitive skills needed for goal-directed behavior, including planning, response inhibition, working memory, and attention

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2892678/

By a person's mid 20s, who someone chooses to date is their own business. 23 is old enough to graduate with a college degree and work for a year or two, a 23 year old is not a kid.

Point blank: this narrative that men wanting to date younger women is predatory is largely perpetuated by a) older women who are upset that the men they want don't want to date them b) misandrist implication that somehow any man who isn't in his early 20s is "predatory"

I've seen this first hand with a fwb 11 years older than me. She shared a social media post listing a bunch of reasons older men suck (with a series of pictures of celebrity men in age gap relationships) and that young women shouldn't date them. I pointed out that these older celebrity men can get those women because they are desirable and have so many women interested in them. A little while later, she expressed to me that she felt hurt that I don't pay for her when we go out to eat and am not affectionate enough. I politely let her know that there are other men out there that may be able to offer her the emotional connection she desires. Spoiler alert: she hit me up again to hang out on halloween lol. Can the average 30 year old guy get a young woman to date him? Hell no. But the average guy is 5'9, overweight, and doesn't make that much money. But there are certainly men that age who can, otherwise women wouldn't constantly be complaining about age gap relationships to begin with.

Body Positivity - In western culture is obesity is glorified in an attempt to shame men into being attracted to overweight women. The actual goal behind body positivity is to normalize obesity by a) shaming men who wont date obese women and b) denying science c) promoting obese individuals in pop culture and fashion. The number of women I see on OLD apps who are 100-150 lbs overweight calling themselves a bbw is downright sad. Of course, the average man is overweight too, but nobody tells an overweight dude that he's perfect the way he is and deserves an attractive woman, nor do the guys themselves say "swipe left if you can't handle my rolls"

This one is probably the most dangerous one on the list because of the association of obesity with diabetes and heart disease, among a myriad of other health issues. And in regards to the "denying science aspect", here is an interaction I had with an expert with another poster in which I stated that weight loss is largely a function of a) managing uncontrolled systemic conditions b) self control (limit calories in) b) exercise (increase metabolism and total daily energy expenditure); the "expert" then goes on to state that most people that don't bariatric surgery struggle to lose weight, and mentions semaglutide, not having the foresight to realize they proved precisely what I just stated. Bariatric surgery (both bypass and sleeve) functionally limit the "calories in" aspect of calories in/calories out, and semaglutide is a medication utilized to control insulin levels. It is primarily used in diabetics & pre-diabetics.

Ethnicity - Can't get too into detail about this topic as per the rules, but when men have a preference women say he has a fetish, or is influenced by the beauty standards the all-powerful "patriarchy" has set. When women have a preference, nobody says a word. And really, nobody should say a word. People are attracted to who they are attracted to.

Height - Men who don't want to date taller women are called insecure, but virtually never does someone tell women to date guys shorter than them. Without fail, at minimum like half of women who are 5'10+ on OLD apps have some sort of line in their profile to the tune of "swipe left if you're too insecure to date a tall girl" In bumble study from when the height filter was a free feature, being less than 6ft meant that you were excluded from ~70% of women's feeds. Can anyone imagine the outrage if men were excluding 70% of women based on their height, prioritizing the shortest women?

The take home message is that: there is a double standard in how preferences are perceived in men and women. Women overlook immutable traits (as everyone should, date who you are attracted to) but simultaneously get angry when men wont overlook immutable traits like body count and obesity.

Don't let anyone shame you into thinking your preferences make you insecure or misogynistic. Instead, focus on improving yourself to attract someone that meets those standards. Because in reality, that's the only that matters in terms of whether or not someone's standards are unrealistic.