Women on Reddit are generally extremely hypocritical when it comes to age gap relationships

wtknight · 2022-10-16T15:52:10+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

FjbhBoy · 2022-10-16T15:56:36+00:00

I feel icky about both tbh. Please note, not so much when both people are in their 30s/40s and beyond but definitely when one part is below 25. I’m not saying healthy age gap relationships don’t exist, but this dynamic gave me the ick when I was 20 and older men were chatting me up and it still gives me the ick now.

Also it’s tricky because you have taken two examples from two different people and you are using it to prove double standards. Which it doesn’t necessarily because the same person who wrote each of those could also feel just as weird about the reverse (like myself). To unveil a true double standard you’d need to show the same woman having this double standard opinion, and then show that same thing many times to show people that it was an opinion many women shared. Women aren’t a singular entity that all have the same opinions, so this doesn’t make sense as an argument in this context.

Life_Level_6280 · 2022-10-16T15:31:24+00:00

Your first thread is 20 year old with a 30-40 year old.

Second thread is 48 year old with 30 year old.

Thats a difference. But I agree with you there are weird double standards with age.

It all depends on the people and context for me.

A 30 year old man dating a 20 year old woman in a mutual respective setting where there is no manipulation or power dynamic -> perfectly fine. 20 year old means she’s an adult (in EU at least) and (once again dependent on a person) should be able to make her own decisions.

A 30 year man old going out for drinks with a 20 year old woman and make the woman get drunk on purpose and force her to have sex with you knowing that shes shy and didnt learn to say no yet -> despicable behaviour and clearly wrong

It all depends on the persons and context.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-10-16T16:57:08+00:00

So what's interesting is the first thread you shared is riddled with women sharing their stories of when they were in their late teens and early 20s with older men and how bad and manipulative the relationship is.

You're contrasting it with a 30 year old man and a 48 year old woman who are very new to one another.

I think it would probably be best to find a thread where men in their early teens and 20s share their own relationship horror stories with one where women are encouraging each other to target younger men for their beauty, fertility, and agreeableness (see euphemism for easy to manipulate).

This would better illustrate your point.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-10-16T15:26:15+00:00

Dude in the story is 30. The women in the first on are in their early twenties.

SincereJustice · 2022-10-16T15:33:41+00:00

Sorry, both gross

Stop_Maximum · 2022-10-16T16:52:56+00:00

Both sad to me but do what you want.

pinktuliplover · 2022-10-16T19:20:56+00:00

Idk about this. I see way more men hyping up cubs than women encouraging cougars.

briiiana1122 · 2022-10-16T16:41:01+00:00

Is there some reason to thing the people in those threads have that doubt standards? Because it looks to me like you picked 2 completely different sets of people to compare the opinions of.

This is pretty much like saying people of PPD are hypocritical because they are people who follow red pill TikTok channels and also they are people who think red pill tiktokers are charlatans.

slavicslothe · 2022-10-16T17:06:00+00:00

Do you have comments of the same user making hypocritical statements? It seems like you’re treating all women on reddit as the same person when there are probably millions of people and some of them hold different beliefs?

I think both are pretty sus at like a decade until both the man and woman are above 30.

Demasii · 2022-10-16T15:39:46+00:00

Both situations don't get treated the same because the general effects on each gender aren't the same.

Why not compare apples with apples and find a thread asking men what their experiences were like dating older women?

Oli_love90 · 2022-10-16T16:54:59+00:00

I don’t think you can use these limited posts to blanket say “women on Reddit” think this way. I’ve seen on “ask Reddit” and “too afraid to ask” about older women/young men and seen the opposite of what you’re saying, most women didn’t really like the idea.

figuringMylife · 2022-10-16T17:20:25+00:00

honestly. i think lots of young girls look up to older men and think they’re mature, good and stable. it’s just sad to me that some people want to take advantage of that. most people don’t actually care. just want what’s best for the younger party

INTP-1 · 2022-10-16T18:56:22+00:00

Hypocrisy knows no boundaries of gender or political persuasion. Everybody's the hero in their own story, and the facts often don't matter. Generally speaking, large age gaps are often a mistake and represent an imbalance of wisdom, experience, and power. A relationship is a give and a take, but if one person is giving a lot and the other is taking, it ceases to be a relationship and is more of an exploitative situation. Women in particular are sensitive to this because their reproductive window is smaller and their inherent vulnerability is greater.

neetykeeno · 2022-10-16T20:14:16+00:00

Pretty much sure subreddit that have an exclusive age group focus also tend to collect weird people who centre their thoughts around that age group doing whatever they damn well like whether it is good for anyone else or not

Most women find age gap relationships at best odd and at worst, disgusting.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-10-16T18:25:08+00:00

I don't think you understand what hypocrisy means but it's not when 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE said things that contradict each other

drew8311 · 2022-10-16T16:29:12+00:00

You are totally right but who cares what other people think? If you are a 40 year old guy who can pull a 20 year old go for it, most judging are just jealous anyways. Your dating results (for better or worse) are much more important than peoples dating opinions, the person you are dating is the only opinion that matters and obviously its a positive one if they are dating you.

ToberOct · 2022-10-16T17:57:14+00:00

It's not hypocritical lol. Men and women are different. Men already have more dominance over a woman even if they're the same age, let alone older. Men openly admit their reasons for going for younger women are sexual. First of all, a woman going after younger men is just subverting something that men have put in place for a long time, so don't expect people to care. Second and more importantly, women who go after young men just think they're cute and bubbly. I've never heard weird sexual reasons for a woman liking younger men. I've never heard a woman want to be dominant over a younger man. For women it's usually just that they like a guy who's cute and sweet and more similar to her. Men and women of the same age are quite dimorphic. Older women and younger men are more equal. I do get sad if there's too much of a gap because that doesn't seem happy. But normally younger man older woman is cool.

For me it's not hypcoritical at all. I literally just don't see men and women as the same in this way. Some ways we're the same, some ways we're not. As a young woman younger guys are cool but older guys creep me out. It is what it is.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-10-16T15:39:30+00:00

Women fear aging out of their 20s (their most attractive years), so they will use this to lockdown a higher caliber man even if he happens to be older than her. Then that same woman 10 years later will shame 20 year old women doing the same thing.

AutoModerator · 2022-10-16T15:18:26+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

tictacti1 · 2022-10-16T18:07:01+00:00

People can date whoever they want. I personally think when it goes in either direction, the younger and more attractive person is using the older person for some kind of financial stability. I think these kind of relationships often end up being financially abusive via the older person controlling every aspect of the younger persons life. I also think there's a huge risk of emotional abuse by the younger person, by means of cheating or being mean because they are not sexually attracted to their partner that they now need in order to not loose their lifestyle.

It's 99 times out of 100 not a good idea.

ETA: just read through OP's comments, I see that he's referring to age differences of less than 20 years, which I don't have an issue with or see as creepy. I'm referring to age gaps that are 30+ years.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2022-10-16T18:03:12+00:00

There are numerous double standards and inconsistencies on both sides of the dating market. This is because Men and Woman are simply biologically and socially different. Unless we one day evolve into a single gender things will never ever be “equal” all things considered.

You’re right that there is absolutely a double standard when it comes to age gap relationships but this is primarily because of how Men and Woman view sex differently.

It’s very rare for a Man to think he is ever being “used” simply because of his physical traits. When that is in fact the case he loves it because it is so rare. Many Woman on the other hand use sex as a commodity rather than a mutually enjoyable activity. They do this because they are acutely aware that it is their most prized asset when it comes to attracting a partner. Therefore if they don’t get a return beyond just sex they feel like they have somehow been cheated or used. You can extrapolate this thinking into age gap relationships. There is nothing “predatory” about two consenting adults having a sexual relationship even if the guy is decades more “experienced” than the girl. However a 45 year old guy banging an 18 year old girl is almost always seen as creepy to a Woman because they feel she is somehow being manipulated out of her most prized asset. An 18 year old guy banging a 45 year old Woman however never feels like he is being manipulated out of his greatest asset-because it’s not his greatest asset. Sex is something he wants just as much-if not more-than the milf he is banging. Men and Woman are simply different.

RahLyt · 2022-10-16T19:14:55+00:00

Lol women will get pump and dumped by a guy 7 months older than them but come to Reddit and say they don't date older men because they are predatory.

LTBR1955 · 2022-10-16T19:18:24+00:00

As a woman it's of blatant obvious this stems out of jealousy of younger women garnering the attention of men around the older women's age, they themselves for a fact wouldn't pass on a man who's high value had they been in their 20's with a big age gap .

ToLiveandDieinL8 · 2022-10-16T19:31:06+00:00

Using the age old formula of 1/2 age +7, do women really think a 30 year old man dating a 22/23 year old woman is inherently wrong?

I know dating apps aren’t the be all and end all but honestly, the women in their late 20’s-early 30’s have this jaded look in their eye that those between 22-25 just simply don’t. It’s not surprising all men chase after those girls.

spinky_bum9451 · 2022-10-16T19:50:11+00:00

So basically the pattern I've seen with hypocrisy is: women are validated when they're the older ones, men are demonized. But when the hypocrisy is called out, both are "icky"

This pattern reiterates off-bounds behavior for men while saving the ability to continue hypocritically praising women on a case by case basis, at least until they are again called out for hypocrisy where they'll reiterate the message to men.

Just don't listen. Societal attitudes that women are trying to push are based around control, not a sense of right and wrong.

Few_Ratio5835 · 2022-10-16T20:09:05+00:00

Women are shaming men into more attractive women because they think if they shame the men then the men will settle for them.

women dating younger men? not really a problem

nemma88 · 2022-10-16T17:23:34+00:00

They're likely different groups choosing to comment, but there will be in group bias as well. You can see a rise in media of age- gap acceptance over the last few years, and in the last few months specifically there's a movement of women looking to date younger men.

There is a paper I'm trying to find about judgement of peers, when the woman is older the age gap has been judged much more harshly.

Edit; This isn't the one I was thinking of but suggests the same;

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/j002v33n04_02

Large age differences in relationships were found to be significantly less acceptable as the age-difference increased and there was significantly stronger opposition to female-older relationships than to male-older ones.

So hypocrisy tends to be the other way, i.e. its okay for men to date up but not women.

Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-10-16T19:33:10+00:00

My grandpa was 16 years older than my grandma. They were excellent together.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-10-16T20:31:41+00:00

Dude the younger woman in your exam is in her early 20s

The younger man is in his 30s

You reaching

Title	Women on Reddit are generally extremely hypocritical when it comes to age gap relationships
Author	FjbhBoy
Upvotes	45
Comments	133
Date	October 16, 2022 3:18 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y5jdah/women_on_reddit_are_generally_extremely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-on-reddit-are-generally-extremely.1135373 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135373