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Women's inflated self-rating today is mostly due to men's desperation on OLD

March 12, 2022
101 upvotes

When studying male attractiveness, a pretty quick and easy experiment (that any male can do) on Tinder is to swipe on 100% of women and the number of matches you get back is your match rate, which almost directly correlates to your attractiveness.

However, due to men's desperation: if a woman were to attempt this experiment, the results will vary wildly. As most men are swiping upwards of 60-100% of women, most women will match anywhere from 50-90% of men. The variance in the number is too harsh to be a reliably way to measure attractiveness.

This effect is seen on a lot of women's inflated self-rating: men know precisely where they stand out of 10. Women can be anywhere from a 3 to an 8 and won't know.

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Post Information
Title Women's inflated self-rating today is mostly due to men's desperation on OLD
Author SmarmyPapsmears
Upvotes 101
Comments 186
Date March 12, 2022 7:37 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit /r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/womens-inflated-self-rating-today-is-mostly-due-to.1106577
https://theredarchive.com/post/1106577
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tcp0pn/womens_inflated_selfrating_today_is_mostly_due_to/
Comments

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (2 children) | Copy Link

Re-flaired as CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 25 points26 points  (65 children) | Copy Link

Damn, TIL my attractiveness is literally 0/10

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] 14 points15 points  (63 children) | Copy Link

0-3 for men is basically a 0, so yep

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 8 points9 points  (61 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn’t you say attractiveness for men is more than just looks though? I mean I suppose we should take into account both SMV and RMV. Personality, humor, confidence, intelligence, wealth, body-type all matter as well but I feel like those are hard to convey over dating apps.

[–]Important-Quote9544 20 points21 points  (56 children) | Copy Link

That only matters if you are good looking. None of that matters if they dont find you attractive from the beginning.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 12 points13 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

This is literally black pill, and although I agree with some aspects of it, my real world experiences don’t quite align with black pill theory.

I’ve watched with my own eyes several of my friends that are shorter, less attractive, make less money (sometimes minimum wage) get attention from women just because they are much more sociable/personable than I am. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens enough to make me question your comment.

[–]Chalkie_Average guy 7 points8 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

A confident and funny ugly guy is still a ugly guy.

[–]MonkeyThrowing 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Have you seen some of these ugly rock stars? Men don’t have to look good.

[–]BacanaHeaven 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Real world? Absolutely. OLD? Looks are everything. Online dating women don’t represent the general female population.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yep, which is why I deleted all those shit apps lol

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right but things like Tinder are exclusively looks for swipes.

[–]sootlordExtra Salty Pill[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

0-6 is basically a zero

[–]throwawaylessons103 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's likely not. You're probably average.

I don't agree with this argument because apps are a terrible way for men to measure how attractive they are.

Most men who are anything below a 7 will barely get anything on apps, and if they do it won't be quality.

Sure, the 8-10s will usually know where they stand, but that's about it.

[–]ThorLivesSkeptical Purple Pill Man 25 points26 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I disagree that it's "just OLD".

It's not just OLD. There are plenty of women on instagram who gets lots of attention without even being on a dating app. I once heard a woman say that she quit dating apps because she gets plenty of attention and dates via instagram. I remember a story a few years ago about a woman getting hit-on by Justin Beiber on instagram.

I think the same is true on other social media platforms, including Facebook. Women can also go out to bars and get interest from men. It's basically everywhere.

The internet (via both dating apps and social media) has expanded women's visibility to a much larger pool of dating prospects than a woman normally has by just walking down to the local small-town bar.

[–]floralgirl2002 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"instagram is the best way to promote some pussy" - Kendrick Lamar

lol

[–][deleted]  (9 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

This is contradictory. If women get the attention how is it fake or inflated? How is it not the real world? And how are you not seeing men are the issue as they are the ones exhibiting thirsty behaviour if anything to cause any so called "inflated self rating".

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]raccoon_mario_popoff 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When you go to those places, the women are in fact edited - they are wearing makeup, which is real-life editing.

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. I have friends like this, thousands of followers and in their pics they look fire, model level.

In real life? Straight up below average. They angle in their photos and use lighting/filters like crazy

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

So can men edit themselves online. Also, just because they can doesn't mean they do. And if men KNOW women can edit themselves and still give women attention isn't that on them too?

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women aren't responsible for men being pervy. That's just the nature of men I guess. It's not "inflated" or fake, as the OP suggests.

[–]MaxS777 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it's their nature then it's not "pervy", it's simply their nature, no different from the number of things that are in the nature of women.

Women put themselves on display in those arenas and not just for the hell of it. They do it for male attention and many do it for that and the money it brings which would make them no better (or worse) than their viewers.

[–]TheSnowyPlover 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The sexual market place went from just your hometown to being global thanks to the internet. Undoubtedly, that’s going to skew your perception of how attractive you are

[–]sarkington 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men have always been desperate and thirsty

But only for sex

And we all know how much women value that

[–]heyitsjeapeagain 11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What about females that don’t spend a lot of time online? They do exist and probably outnumber those who do.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They're probably doing ok.

[–]heyitsjeapeagain 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that’s probably true. I only tried online dating because I had absolutely nothing to work with in real life. It was a last resort. I’d think females that use online dating are not doing that well either but I am not entirely sure. I really didn’t get to talk to many females on the site when I tried it. They were either scammers or incredibly rude.

[–]Smitten_Squire 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its also general simpery

[–]kdtzzz[🍰] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would say it’s more due to instagram than OLD. A basic 5 is gonna get just as many DMs and affirmation as a 10 which means they think they are a 10 lol. I quit DMing girls for just that reason. Nope I refuse to be part of your simp brigade. Would rather meet a girl in person.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (35 children) | Copy Link

most women think OLD is a joke

[–]daddysgotanew 20 points21 points  (31 children) | Copy Link

No. 90 percent of women under 35 are on there to try to hook the best man they can find in a 200 mile radius.

I always think it’s hilarious that people believe that there are “real life girls” and “Tinder girls” like they are on different planets. The shy girl at the cash register at the grocery store, the divorced 33 year old, the college Instagram model and the emo, kinda weird girl with daddy issues at the gas station counter…………… they’re all on Tinder looking for gigaChad to sweep them off of their feet

[–]ddouchecanoe 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No. 90 percent of women under 35 are on there to try to hook the best man they can find in a 200 mile radius.

Where is the source on this? 90% of women under 35 aren't even single..?

According to Pew Research, published in 2020 over half of all adults are in relationships. 41% of 18-29 year olds are single, 23% for 30-49 year olds. Then you would have to account for the number of women who are not interested in men or are not on dating sites due to the various reasons a women would find OLD repulsive.

I realize this is anecdotal, but all of the young, attractive women I know find OLD to be a waste of time and do not participate. It is pretty easy to be dicked down by a guy who wants nothing more than to get his dick wet. On the off chance that one of these women were suddenly interested in that, they would probably call a guy they already know isn't going to murder them or give them herpes. If they are on Tinder it is because they still believe that they might meet a guy that will give a shit about them in there area and they haven't been made to feel shitty enough to give up on it yet.

[–]daddysgotanew 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s funny that you think only single women use Tinder

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

exactly it’s not OLD it’s OLC (online looking for chad)

it’s not a dating platform it’s a chad platform for chadsexuals (women)

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]SpicySinnersSandwich 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What's next? "Who hurt you sweetie?"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

womens personality detector can be seen thru pics , everyone knows that 😊

jeremy meeks has a great personality

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't make things personal.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 1 point2 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

I'm on Tinder to hook up, as are many other women. I don't know any woman who uses the term Gigachad, or Chad or even want a prince charming. That shit has always been reserved for romance novels and fantasy. Most women want a man who is attractive to them, who is honest and treats them well.

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 3 points4 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

They all hook up with the same dudes and those are just words that describe them.

When women go on tinder to hookup, it’s with men way out of their league

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill -1 points0 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Out of their league suggests they shouldn't be able to pull them, yet if they consistently do, maybe the idea of our of their league is wrong?! I mean, they could be women similar to me who don't get drawn into thinking about numbers or leagues and have a lot of self worth because they don't rely on others for it.

[–]utopista114 -3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't know any woman who uses the term Gigachad, or Chad or even want a prince charming

The term they use is "men". The rest of us doesn't exist. We're invisible. Chad are men, we're a void.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need counselling if you think that. It's not true.

[–]pinkelephants777No Pill 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. I tried it in college and had so many awful experiences I swore off it forever. I met my current partner through a mutual interest and we were friends for quite some time before we started dating. Honestly the entire dating game in general is just objectively awful for everyone involved.

[–]seekinglightindark 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What does OLD stand for?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

online dating

[–]warramite 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As most men are swiping upwards of 60-100% of women, most women will match anywhere from 50-90% of men. The variance in the number is too harsh to be a reliably way to measure attractiveness.

Hard disagree bro... Statistics show men consider 50-50 women to be ugly and attractive.. If he swiped on a woman it means he would be open to it, attractive is a spectrum and how much effort he puts in is dependent on how high on that list the woman is

Like a 5/10 is average looking to him, so he swipes on her.. He messages her and she responds unenthusiastically, he knows she isn't interested because of past OLD experiences and isn't attracted enough to keep trying so he gives up..

Now if she's a 9/10, he may try again.. Simply because he is that much attracted to her but eventually he will give up if she's as cold as the other one because he's simply believe its impossible

Women are only attracted to a very small percentage of men so most men's experience will be the above rinsed and repeated over and over.. Very low interest from thw women and eventually giving up on her cause of lack of reciprocation

I have gotten maybe 65 matches on OLD, all of them ghosted me.. now I get matches, let em sit for a days and umatch the women, cause I already know if she ain't reaching out she's not interested

[–]MaxS777 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When I dealt in that realm, the strangest ones I would get are the ones who would reach out, then be cold, lol. I'm thinking, why approach me only to have nothing to say? The funnier part was that most of them were 4's.

[–]Head-Language-2977 13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Real life example: 41M in a city of 200K.

Background info: I’ve rated between 5 and 5.5 on the True Rate Me sub multiple times. I recently joined Tinder and I’ve had 4 dates in 4 weeks. I average 2 or 3 matches a week so I definitely act fast before someone else scoops them up.

Date conversations: Eventually during the date, the women have prodded about my experiences with OLD so I took the opportunity to prod right back. These women in my league all had over 1K likes and over 200 matches. These 5s and 6s have mentioned how overwhelmed they were in as little as a week. They also mentioned how many men try to message them over, and over, and over to get their attention.

Takeaways: Again, I’m only talking about 5s and 6s in their late 30s here. I think it’s safe to assume the competition is more fierce for women in their 20s.

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like you are not enjoying it very much.

[–]FizzleMateriel 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He’s an average man, of course he’s not enjoying it.

[–]The_Meep_Lord 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hypergamy is a bitch.

[–]ExtraBurdensomeCountInbred Mongrel -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Honestly Tinder et al. need to be banned for their distortive effect on the market, no different to how we ban invasive species.

[–]utopista114 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"But my fruuuudom"

[–]River_Archer_32 [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

agee.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 6 points7 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Evidence of women having an inflated self rating compared to men please?

You make statements as facts but do not show any evidence for it.

[–]KGmagic52 -1 points0 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Of course women's self ratings are high compared to men's. There's makeup. Filters. Oh, and also, this thing happens where you go through your sexual peak a good decade and a half before men do. So, yeah women have about 10 years of ego boost while men are just starting to get noticed. Don't take it personally. It just is what it is.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 5 points6 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

When do you think women go through their sexual peak? Because research shows it is actually later in life. Late 30s to late 40s. So maybe base your ideas on facts rather than feelings and assumptions

[–]KGmagic52 -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Women's smv peaks in their early twenties, not their 30s-40s.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You might be confusing fertility for sexual peak/prime. In terms of sexual prime the research clearly shows that women actually get there in their thirties, although the caveat is not all women not all the time etc.

[–]abcdeeeeeeff -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Wondering what you mean by sexual peak? I would think evolutionarily, women would be at sexual peak at peak childbearing years.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's not the case apparently. Research shows that women actually hit their sexual prime in their 30s.

[–]jjlew922Light Purple Holy Roller 6 points7 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Men don’t know where they stand cause, as you stated, they swipe on anything. If they knew their true rating there’d be some discretion or at least some preferences but clearly a quick lay trumps all most of the time. It’s honestly not a compliment when you get likes on OLD from guys clearly out of your league. Women know, relatively, it’s not that hard. We may get more quantity but it’s annoying and why many opt out of OLD entirely.

[–]daddysgotanew 11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Men know where they stand. Chad has 1000 matches and women are sending him messages constantly. And they’re not asking him to take them to dinner…the other 99 percent of men get 0-100 matches, and they can’t get a woman to meet them off the app to save their life

[–]jjlew922Light Purple Holy Roller 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This type of thinking is delusional, have you ever been on OLD?

[–]daddysgotanew 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You’re funny. I’ve been using Tinder on and off since uhhh……2012. Bumble and Hinge as well, I get even less action on those

[–]jjlew922Light Purple Holy Roller 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well then clearly you’re warped up in an understanding you’ve heard about and not on your own reality? I’m not talking in hypotheticals because it’s a waste of time, focus on you and what matters. So not sure what to say but happy check out your profile if you want a second opinion?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Many of them still leave their profiles in public to boost their socials, even if they delete the app.

[–]jjlew922Light Purple Holy Roller 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How does that even happen? Like cause they provide Instagram it’s for clout? Men put that on their profile too so they’re chasing the same perhaps?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Usually the bio will have something along the lines of “follow me on IG, more active there”.

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve definitely heard the opposite from young women. They get validated when the hot guy likes/chats with them

[–]test-e-cules 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

The reason men swipe right so indiscriminately is not because they have no standards. It's because the skew of the ratio of men:women on the apps means that the odds of them getting swiped on is already low to begin with, so they try to maximize the total number of matches they get by swiping right on everyone.

This leads to womens' match rates becoming extremely high. The real problem is that there are far too many men and far too few women on the app. It is hard for women to make a decision. And to be completely honest, no one is going to admit to themselves that they are not at least above average looking. I bet the kind of people one swipes on will be very different if someone else was watching.

[–]jjlew922Light Purple Holy Roller 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So further shows get off the app if you’re gonna be indiscriminate. Let’s not put the cart before the horse. Women don’t have a hard time choosing, we just have too many to go thru even when we’ve been discriminate with our filters…doesn’t matter cause the apps are built to keep us active and single, hopefully paying, if you think about it. Instead of fighting each other we might be better off fighting the system but that’s a subject for a different day.

[–]test-e-cules 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

>So further shows get off the app if you’re gonna be indiscriminate

You miss the point I'm trying to make. Being indiscriminate is the best strategy for most men. I explained why men do that, its up to you whether to choose to be on the apps or not, but the reason is not because men have lower standards than women.

> Women don’t have a hard time choosing, we just have too many to go thru even when we’ve been discriminate with our filters

You said women don't have a hard time choosing and then literally contradicted that by saying you have too many options to go through. Look up the choice paradox.

> doesn’t matter cause the apps are built to keep us active and single

Why do you think the apps are "built" to do this rather than an emergent phenomenon?

> Instead of fighting each other we might be better off fighting the system but that’s a subject for a different day

Before that happens, there has to be a good understanding of what each side goes through and understanding the reasons for this. First, the experience of dating apps differs a lot if you're a man or a woman and you only feel your side of the situation viscerally because that's what you've experienced. There is no good understanding of the pain and frustration of the other side nor an explanation as to why it happens. That's why you see all these insane tropes about how 80% of the women etc. etc. and how men are low quality. Those are convenient tropes because it puts the responsibility on the other person instead of realizing the ratio is a huge part of the problem. I think most people would rather complain about this than accept reality and deal with it.

[–]jjlew922Light Purple Holy Roller 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Sure, but men do have lower standards than women, it’s part of my point, standards are at base immediate looks and certainly men judge and decide almost entirely on this first. Clearly there are physical preferences there. Women don’t quite work the same way, for the most part, as it’s just not the look. And that’s my point on indiscriminate. Women chose and that choice has very little to do with quantity. The apps are built for the male thirst tbh. It’s work forever and financially in this world from the billboards to internet cam girl ads to now onlyfans.

[–]test-e-cules 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Men lower their standards because they don’t have unlimited choices like women and most of them can’t afford to have high standards.

And don’t act like women don’t have physical standards and men don’t have non physical standards. Dating apps are primarily physically based but it doesn’t serve either men or women. It’s a delusion to think that men primarily select women based on how they look and nothing else. Both men and women have some set of minimum standards for physical attractiveness but the other things matter too.

And I completely disagree with quantity having nothing to do with choice. A person who has more options can go through those options and select people. It is hard work but doable. Someone with no options cannot do so.

Secondly, the problem you’re describing with women

[–]jjlew922Light Purple Holy Roller 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What does can’t afford to have high standards mean? Of course both men and women have physical standards, as mentioned, the determining factor for men is often first looks and women take into consideration the entire profile, on the regular. But again not everyone, we don’t live in a box. Having options could feel good but it means nothing when that doesn’t hold up to your standard. Not all people set a standard, that may be part of the problem.

[–]KGmagic52 13 points14 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

It's more than that too. When you can make 100k on OF taking pictures of your feet and butthole, you're just not going to respect what someone has to do to actually earn that kind of money.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

This would actually have the opposite effect. Your money would have correlation to your attractiveness (assuming you aren't doing some weird niche shit). Top .01% on OF would assume they are 10s.

I'm not sure how many 5s are making 100k on onlyfans.

[–]UrFoodMolestedMyNoserainbow pills- a full course meal. 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

One of the top only fans creators is a 70 year old woman.

[–]FizzleMateriel 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The human race was a mistake.

[–]UrFoodMolestedMyNoserainbow pills- a full course meal. 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol.. if Christianity is correct, it seems God thinks so too. Dude tried to eliminate us and start over then threw his son at it to deal with it. Finally, he settled with automatically dealing with his mistake(heaven hell), never to interact with us again.

[–]River_Archer_32 [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

so true.

[–]daddysgotanew 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

There’s millions of women making bank on OF

[–]throwawaylessons103 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This isn't true. Unless you're like in the top 1-0.01%, you're barely making anything.

Something like 2/3rds of creators make less than $150/month.

[–]TheMedsPedsBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao what? What is your definition of bank?

[–]floralgirl2002 6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

alot of woman dont even use OLD, I dont get the obsession with it on reddit. most woman have more than enough dating options:

-In real life

-In their Instagram DMs

-On seeking arrangements/similar sites (not me, but lots of woman use this option these days)

[–]daddysgotanew 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why keep spreading this rumor? The only women that aren’t on Tinder are strict Mormons in Utah and 70 year old grannies

[–]raccoon_mario_popoff 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Only a small percentage of women worldwide use Tinder.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've seen 70 year old grannies on OLD

[–]daddysgotanew 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ehhh nothing surprises me anymore

[–]KickAss2021 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mormon use mutual and wards, and BYU

[–]floralgirl2002 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

thats so not true.

Instagram is the worlds biggest dating app.

just look at the numbers

[–]BlockedAgainIGuess -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

One of your three options women have outside of OLD is literally OLD

[–]floralgirl2002 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

people on reddit get upset when people call instagram a dating app. I agree it is. its way easier to use for woman and you get more high value men sliding in

seeking arrangements is used for dating and for arrangements. I dont use it so im not 100% sure, but I dunno if alot of people would consider it a dating app

[–]ariablake69 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Most guys on tinder for example are there to get laid, but have the ugliest, most unflattering, low effort photos of themselves on their profile. It’s unfortunate. If you’re trying to hook up at least try and look good.

[–]MaxS777 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've even seen women say things like "have more than one photo or don't bother messaging me".

They're men, not instagram models. If I were a woman, I would be cautious of the guy that takes a lot of photos. Something would just seem off about it. But that's at least how women used to view it, women are different with a lot of things in the social media age.

[–]ariablake69 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well you’re not a woman and too many photos is not a red flag, especially if they’re nice photos.

[–]MaxS777 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it weren't a red flag, you wouldn't call it "too many" since that denotes an abnormal amount. Think about it...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Men are desperate irl as well. We as men need to stop letting pussy have so much power over us and then the women will get in line.

[–]test-e-cules 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Easier said than done, when your biological imperative to reproduce is in question.

[–]daddysgotanew 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get maybe a 1 percent match rate so I’m considered a 5, maybe. Basically the 3rd through 7th choice for most women that swipe on me. I’m tall and a 7 in the face. Take that for what it’s worth

[–]BlockedAgainIGuess 3 points4 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

During my (F) brief stint on tinder, every single time I swiped right it was a match. I’m not even that attractive lol. It quickly became clear most men were swiping right on everyone, especially because some of my matches immediately unmatched before any communication, I assume they weren’t attracted to me, which is fine… but that’s exactly what the swiping mechanism is supposed to filter out. Since swiping right on everyone defeats the entire purpose of the app, I stopped using it. And not for nothing but I lost a bit more respect for men.

[–]ExtraBurdensomeCountInbred Mongrel 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

One simple solution to this problem would be to show men like 10 profiles a day but only allow 2 matches, that way they have to choose who they actually like/think they have a shot with. It'd also lessen the deluge women face and in general lead to more compatible matchings (since men had to choose you over other women if they swiped right on you).

One can guess why Tinder doesn't do this...

[–]abcdeeeeeeff 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think Hinge shows limited profiles like that

[–]343_peaches_and_teaBiromantic. 3 points4 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

And not for nothing but I lost a bit more respect for men.

To be fair. You're also not in the situation where being picky leaves you dateless for months on end with zero matches.

They're just trying to do what they can to maximize the chance of a date. 🤷

[–]BlockedAgainIGuess 3 points4 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Except they’re not, because swiping right on a girl you’re not attracted to doesn’t add her to the pool of dateable women, it just makes you look like you don’t understand how tinder works

[–]343_peaches_and_teaBiromantic. 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Whether it works or not. The intent is the same. The idea is that if you swipe left or spend too much time over each photo it's a waste of time.

Better to swipe right on everyone and then filter from the small number of matches you get.

Now whether that works or not. Who knows how Tinder's algorithm runs underneath. It's not exactly transparent.

But it's about throughput at the first stage. It means you don't need to actually look at the profile to swipe. You get through more swipes per minute. In theory.

[–]BlockedAgainIGuess 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well now the guy who was supposed to find me, his one true love, on tinder, will die alone lol

[–]test-e-cules 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I don't think you understand how Tinder works and how much the ratio of men to women influences the mass swiping behavior of men.

[–]BlockedAgainIGuess 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

If they didn’t do that the ratio would improve

[–]utopista114 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

for months on end

Years FYI

[–][deleted]  (21 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Chalkie_Average guy 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Most men feel like that too tbh

Just without the additional external validation from the opposite sex.

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I would be self conscious too if I constantly dated women way out of my league lol

Pretty sure you’ve been on record saying as much about hookups on old

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wym

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah if you are getting fuckzoned or ghosted by men out of your league and telling yourself and friends that men are jerks your self esteem will plummet.

[–][deleted]  (14 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

What

[–]heyitsjeapeagain -2 points-1 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

The grammar is abysmal.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Oh I thought it was something important

[–]Initial_Chemical7121Y’allternative 3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Not just OLD, it’s seen a lot IRL too. But it’s also because we don’t need men anymore, so why settle on one we aren’t attracted to?

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm only talking about self-rating of physical attractiveness, nothing to do with you needing men or not

[–]Initial_Chemical7121Y’allternative 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

But it plays into it

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Explain? I don't see how not needing a man turns a female 5 into a 6

[–]utopista114 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't see how not needing a man turns a female 5 into a 6

It doesn't. But this is about what they want.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Confidence means not giving a shit about men and their opinions which automatically makes men more keen in her. According to some. Men like a challenge. Men like a woman who doesn't care. Not stating it as fact. Just the argument

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

On what benchmark are you basing your claims?

How do you decide that women have inflated self-ratings?

[–]ariablake69 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right lol

[–]utopista114 -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

we don’t need men anymore

Guys, we found the next envoy for peace talks with Putin.

Be sure to say it to him with a lot of vocal fry.

[–]Initial_Chemical7121Y’allternative 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Got a southern belle accent, no can do

[–]NateHate1402 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It could be this but I think they actually know and are just deluding themselves. Tell me how many times have you went to the club and started being successful with an attractive girl just for her overweight friend to come over and pull you apart ridiculously aggressively as if it personally offends her? If your experience is anything like mine then the answer is a lot. I believe they do this because they are upset at their lack of attention and jealous of their friends abundance of it so they ruin guys interactions with their friend purposefully. Meanwhile when they somehow get a guy interested in them their attractive friends rarely make a fuss because they aren’t jealous, they could pull a guy anytime they wanted.

[–]Academic_Snow_7680 -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

WRONG!

Your swipes on OLD are dependent on the work you present in your profile.

Most low-effort men put low-effort into their profile and thus don't get swiped on. Most of the men on OLD only post one or two pictures and don't say shit about themselves. How do I know? Because I am one of those women overwhelmed by matches on OLD with guys that I have no intention of speaking with after the either don't say shit or immediately try to talk about sex as if I'm some delivery service or dispensery.

Put some bloody work into your profile and your numbers will go up.

If you have a low effort profile and don't write anything that tells me you're a low effort guy that only swipes on looks and thus I will not swipe on you.

That is the whole truth of the matter.

That and that there is an absolute oversaturation of douchebags on OLD.

[–]343_peaches_and_teaBiromantic. 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To be fair. Most guys don't know what to do to make their profile look good.

If I talk to my friend with his maths PHD. He hasn't got a fucking clue what a good set of photos looks like. He's never spent that much time on social media or dwelling over photos of himself for thousands of years.

I do think this is kind of a problem with OLD. It forces you to be good at this stuff. It's not just effort. You have to be good at knowing what presents well, what angles to use etc.

All completely useless skills for actually being in a relationship.

So the people who do well on the apps are often the people who are narcissistic or fuckbois who spend way too much effort on their profile in a hope to get laid.

It's not that my friend is low effort. He puts a lot of effort into dating. He just doesn't know what he's doing with photography. At all. Which isn't a crime.

[–]SpicySinnersSandwich 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Put some bloody work into your profile and your numbers will go up.

Sigh.

Do we REALLY need to drag out the hard data yet again that showed that people rated someone's physical attractiveness and the attractiveness of their personality on a near perfect diagonal slant?

https://i.imgur.com/vwbRR1m.png

[–]Academic_Snow_7680 -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Are you really unable to understand the red area??

[–]SpicySinnersSandwich -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Are you? Because it's saying that they would rate people who are hot as having good personalities.

[–]Academic_Snow_7680 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It shows a whole lot of leeway within the looks bracket. Note that people's looks follow the same line so OF COURSE people are looking within their own 'attractiveness level'.

you seem to have forgotten that part of the equation: THE LINE IS NATURALLY LINEAR. What you have to work with is within the red area.

You seem to think that somebody who puts in no effort should automatically get to date the beautiful people. It doesn't work like that. What you can do is work with what you have, put in some effort and level up a couple of notches.

Beautiful women are not going to fall out of the sky and date some lazy gamer dude with no ambitions. They can do better.

[–]Cynscretic 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nah, women are just more physically attractive. It's always been that way. Tinder is stupid, women like men for different stuff.

[–]River_Archer_32 [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

They aren't.

[–]Euphoric_Ad_4972Daily thread troll -4 points-3 points  (31 children) | Copy Link

Women's inflated ego is made by feminism. In the old days a woman has to depend on a man for basic survival and she got that by providing sexual satisfaction to her man even if she was not enjoying it. Now a woman can out survive and have a pretty decent life without a man providing for her and has sex with a man she finds attractive.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Basically.

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

So you are saying things were better when women who required men for their survival pretended to be attracted to their husbands and had duty sex.

[–]Euphoric_Ad_4972Daily thread troll 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I never said which was better.

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh okay. I know what my preference is. I just assumed subjugation was yours.

[–]utopista114 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

pretended to be attracted to their husbands

They were attracted. Women are attracted to power. Women marry up. Just normal dudes were up enough back then.

[–]abcdeeeeeeff 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeppppp a normal dude in the 50s knew how to fix a car and build a treehouse with the kids too

[–]utopista114 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

And now he knows how to travel in Nepal alone and how to build a call-put strategy in advanced options.

But now women don't need him.

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me -3 points-2 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Except they have to settle eventually. And that's when it's time for 15-on-1, DAP destination, 0% pussy, piss-bukkake if she wants a shot at commitment.

[–]Euphoric_Ad_4972Daily thread troll 8 points9 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

if she wants a shot at commitment.

Why would she want a commitment from a LVM? Being a cat lady is more desirable than being with a man that you don't want to live with.

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me -5 points-4 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Because kids and not being alone.

[–]Financial_Leave4411 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That’s not enough motivation for most women.

[–]TurkeyGobbler2000No Pill 2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Women are better off without men. Research shows women who aren't married live longer and most are happier. Not being married does not mean you are alone.

[–]Oli_love90 -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I disagree here, I know what I look like, I’m not fooled into believing I’m beautiful because I got a ton of matches.

Most women are aware that men swipe right on all/most of the options. So it doesn’t inflate any sense of self.

It’s interesting how some men assume women have inflated egos.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I just see a lot of my wife's perpetually single friends who are 5-6s and believe they're 8-9s.

[–]Oli_love90 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s a small pool of women. I promise you perpetually single women are not walking around like they’re the shit.

[–]test-e-cules -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The ratio of men to women is a far bigger factor than perceived self-rating on dating apps.

Let's say everyone gets 10 swipes and there are 80 men who are 5s and 20 women who are 5s.

If a woman is a self-aware 5 and only swipes on men who are 5s, the match rate of the men who are 5s is on average 12.5% while the match rate of the women who are 5s is on average 50%.

If the guys are frustrated with their match rate, sign up for premium and swipe right on 100% of the women, their match rate is still going to be 12.5% while the women's match rate becomes 100%. So sure, this can contribute to women's inflated self-rating.

But more than that, it seems like you think that women have an inflated self-rating because you don't get many matches from women who you think are in your league. I'd argue that the ratio of men to women plays a far greater role in this than your hypothesis that women have an inflate self-rating (which they mostly likely probably do, as would any human in that situation).

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

1st: your numbers are way off. Men who are 5s get anywhere from .5% to about 2% match rates.

2nd: I'm already married. I had to go through the same bullshit, except luckily I'm good-looking enough that I had a lot of success of dating apps when I was doing them.

3rd: Women today have insanely inflated self-ratings. I know because of the 6s my wife is friends with who legitimately believe they're 9s. My wife is an actual 9 and it's just crazy to me.

[–]test-e-cules -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Are you like legitimately dumb or are you trying to start an argument?

I said it was a factor and used a few made up numbers to illustrate the magnitude of the difference. Only an idiot would take those number as literal and act like I’m claiming that’s the only factor at play.

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[–]Ziogatto 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]HTML_Novice 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah this is kinda how men talk about girls unfiltered

[–]utopista114 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a 4 no question. And again, that's how hunks talk about their pump and dump lays. Out there there's an amazing dude that would give this lady everything on Earth and beyond, alas he could never match with her, the 4 is porking another hunk this week.

[–]caption291 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm assuming this is fake but this is what someone who has no concept of being nice would believe being nice looks like.

[–]-angels-fan-Pitbull loving male feminist 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Simps ruin everything

[–]caption291 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Chads are a bigger issue.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep.

they have a lack of standards.

Any woman giving them any sort of attention is positive attention. It’s disgusting.

Holy shit if you control who you are willing to fuck, you take any power a woman may have over you.

Stop giving the fatties and baby mamas attention.

Stop sliding into DMs.

Stop spending money on women not already fucking you. (Dates mostly excluded, as well as actual friends for holidays and shit)

You want womens ego to get back under control, stop fucking feeding them.

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There seems to be this sub set of unhappily married men who would rather post weird rants on PPD than fix their shit or get divorced. I kind of already have a club name in mind.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My opinion bothers you =/= me being unhappily married

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am sure there are happily married men here who have crappy opinions.

[–]jjlew922Light Purple Holy Roller 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do it! I’d totally join your club 💯

[–]IcarusKiki22F 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s projection of low self esteem

[–]luigitrumpsmario 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is soo unhealthy jfc

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Water is wet.

[–]ruboyuri 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s not inflated. Men really will fuck anything and everything

[–]modidlee 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s not even OLD. It’s their regular everyday life. If you had people giving you the eye and running up trying to talk to you everywhere you went you’d start thinking you’re hot stuff too.

[–]Dodechaedron 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't the ratio men:women unbalanced on OLD platforms, anyway?

[–]alphadawg94 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No way, this fly’s in the face of the 80/20 rule.

Also here’s the math. Women swipe right 14% of the time on average. So let’s say we have 100 women and they’re swiping on 100 men. The total number of right swipes by women will be 1400. If we distribute those among the 100 men, each man will have an average of 14 likes. So the average match rate for a man would be 1.4/10. Obviously some men will receive a higher percentage of those 1400 likes sent out by the women, but the average will stay the same. So unless we assume the average guy is a 1.4 out of 10 in attractiveness, this test doesn’t check out.

If we switched men and women in the experiment, we would have a much more realistic estimate, because men swipe right 46% of the time, making the average woman a 4.6/10.

If women knew the actual right swipe rate of their profile, they might have a better sense of how they’re rated. It still wouldn’t change their behavior though. There are 4 times as many men as women on tinder, and men swipe right 3-4 times more, so the average woman will have maybe 16 times the number of right swipes as the average man. And that’s assuming women will actually make a decision on all those extra men. If we assume men swipe on all women in their area and women will swipe an equal number of times to the men, then men only have a 1/4 chance of even being seen, so the average woman would now receive 64 times as many right swipes as the average man.

[–]Rispy_Girl 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also many men are on Tinder for easy sex, not dating. I'm betting they would be more discerning if their goal was dating.

[–]fatalcharm 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But my self-rating only inflated after I quit online dating.

If you are of average attractiveness or above, then having men fawn over your looks all the time actually hurts your self esteem. It gets old, you get sick of the superficial compliments and wish that they could see beyond your appearance. You start to feel like maybe there is nothing more to you than your appearance. It’s destructive.

This is why some men in TRP think that “negging” works. Negging isn’t necessary, you don’t need to go that far and most women see through it. Just don’t fawn over a woman’s appearance and she will take notice, not because she needs validation and you are not giving it to her, but because the constant compliments and fawning get really old and annoying and when you don’t do it, you are like a breath of fresh air to her.

[–]iwasneverherehaha 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If whenever iv used tinder I auto swipe right on everyone without even looking at there profiles.

I cant be bothered to look at pictures and bios

I simply sift through the matches and decide from that who I'm going to bother to message.

Il prioritize looks and then bio,

No interesting bio not message from me and I refuse to compliment women in there appearance from the photos..

I refuse to give people free attention that use these apps

[–]marsbar77 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a terrible metric since your exposure to potential matches is modulated by the app. Women have a completely different experience on the dating apps and that is by design. The apps want women so they give them more play were as men only get shown as much depending on whether they subscribe.

It should also be noted that it is a common OLD strategy for men to swipe all right and then sift through the matches as it’s a waste of time to read through profile you may or may not be matched with.

[–]Traditional_Job2467 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Despite the 80/20 rule

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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